"The terrible twos" isn't really much different than all other stages: the kid is going through something in order to become a funcitonal human and the parents have to deal with the fall-out without fucking it up too badly.



What is different is the strange melange of language, emotion, and emergent pe…

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Baby has the croup, which one might think was trounced back in, say, 1818 or so. But, no--the croup is alive and well and seems to be taking one child after another in its clammy chokehold. Currently, Baby, who is almost two, sounds like a three-pack-a-day hamster. She can ba/…

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Every morning the drive to work was like a slow squeezing into someone else’s skin. I walked around in that skin all day, sometimes holding myself up on the wall when the dizziness and fatigue were at their worst and no one was looking. People who loved me told me to… Read full post »

The lease had expired. She hadn’t paid rent in months, yet she continued to run a day care out of our home in Chicago, so she was making money. She claimed she would leave, but didn’t. She became my nemesis: The Squatter.

Four years ago, we left Chicago to come… Read full post »

I've seen it before: a toddler at her own birthday party, unwrapping presents. The adults are focused on what's inside the package (or on their watches, because presents means it's almost time to go). The toddler, however, is focused on the ribbon, the paper, the box, and anything else that is…

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Some of my worst moments come upon the slow-waking realization of Baby crying. There's the murmuring, whimpery cry, still very close to the fabric of sleep. My muscles tense, but my breathing is still slow. She may still return to slumber. If the crying is punctuated by a sharp/…

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Professor Alan Gribben opened a door that has been long locked: the editing of others' works to remove offensive content.

 

 

financebehavior.co.uk

 

 

In light of the n-word’s impact and censorship of the book, Professor Alan Gribben decided to take out every insta… Read full post »

"What good did this do me?" I slurred as I tore off my black garter.

What good, indeed? I was drunk on New Years Eve, 19 years old, in my college apartment. I spent many a New Years Eve having grand old times cavorting and frolicking as young people do. For reasons…

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Everyone keeps telling me that having a baby at Christmas makes it even more special. Perhaps when she is able to do more than put tree needles in her mouth and pull the ornaments of the tree, this will be true. I have always been a bit of a curmudgeon around…

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Before having Baby I watched as friends ramped up for their child's first birthday. Cakes were made in interesting shapes. Plates, cups, and candles were purchased to match. Goody bags were constructed. Games were planned. Cute invitations were designed and sent well in advance.

Do not let the passiv… Read full post »

I haven't clocked her, but I think Baby can crawl abnormally fast. It's not cheetah fast, but I am fairly sure that a mathematician could construct a proportionate calculus problem that would show that she is impossibly quick for an infant.

One would think that being able to walk would allow me…

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Dear Unconscious Mind,

 Listen, I really appreciate the dreams a few years ago where I am being circled by a shark and then, during the course of therapy, the shark turned into killer whales and then dolphins. That was cool.

 I'm wondering, though, why in that recent dream with the unknown… Read full post »

Imagine sitting  a quarter mile underground for over two months with 32 others in the dark.

Now that the first Chilean miner has been extracted from the collapsed mine, I am sure we will soon learn the many versions of existence in the depths. Until then, I can't help but wonder.… Read full post »

The idea of the zoo makes me happy. I can see all kinds of animals that I will probably never have the chance to see in the wild. Hopefully, it inspires people to protect these amazing creatures and the places they live. Perhaps some of the animals were rescued, or are/…

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I am tired of swimming upstream. I don't even have any spawning to look forward to at the end of the journey. I just swim and swim, battered scales flashing as my tail pumps furiously against the invisible current.

Three years ago I gave up everything I knew in an… Read full post »

Along with other developmental milestones--babbling, crawling, terrorizing the cats with high-pitched screeches--Baby has a full-on functioning pincer grasp. In an evolutionary sense, this skill involves our much coveted opposable… Read full post »

She's tiny, cute, soft, and pleasantly aromatic. Yet, sometimes I fear her. Baby is like a small Lennie from Of Mice and Men, blissfully unaware of her strength. I am George, futilely trying to rein it in. The inevitable end to my story, however, is that Baby will continue to inflict…

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