He tells me that a lot.  He got it from the Sundance Kid.  Remember the scene where Etta Place (Katharine Ross) is disrobing in her room, and Sundance murmurs softly from the shadows, where he has been hiding..."Keep goin' teacher lady"... ?  My husband tells me it is the first truly erotic scene he ever viewed.  He couldn't have been more than 10.  It made his heart beat faster, and he thought about it..a lot!  I remember her lovely leg, up on the chair or bed, and her peeling off the stocking.  (I can't find it on you tube or I'd link for you)

He knows my job is hard and sometimes entirely thankless.  He reminds me that I am a woman with these words.   Here is a day in my life...

The day starts in the dark at 5 am.  I like to try to be awake and meditate rather than start the day with an adrenaline rush.  I loathe alarm clocks and my body is trained to awaken at the right time.  I never oversleep, unless I am very ill.  In the semi-darkness, I leave him sleeping and wash and dress quietly, in something "cool", but not too trendy...never any decollatage...I learned the hard way that leaning over the desks to help 16 year old boys means that one may stun the bystanders with a glimpse of bra and skin.  Must avoid that.  

 I amble downstairs and leave him sleeping...his day doesn't start till 8...his job retains some semblence of a sane schedule...  The dog follows wiggling her little butt joyfully as I dump her breakfast into her dish.  I drink juice...never got the taste for coffee...would be spastic on caffeine, I think.  I take Lucy outside for a morning pee and bring the paper in.  

I check to see that all the papers I graded are in my "teacher bag"...without which I would be lost.   I wander back up to kiss the man goodbye.  He is always so cheery in the morning, one of the things I love about him.  He gets to sleep another 2 hours or so.

I have a 15 minute drive.  I like to listen to books on tape, a fellow teacher got me hooked.  During the school year, reading for pleasure takes a back seat to grading and planning so this is MY time to "read"...no matter what.

I like to arrive in the stillness.  It is 6:15am.  The school, at this hour belongs to me and the custodians.  Fran has to raise the metal hall gate for me each morning.  I love the sunrise through my window.  It is something which I just got this year....a rooom with a view!  This one is spectacular (prepare to writhe in envy)...and shows the Boulder Flatirons about a 20 minute drive to the northwest.  I begin.

Opening my mail; there may be a meeting scheduled for a special education IEP meeting, a parent e-mail asking for information on their child; a note from the principal reminding you that grades are due; a colleague asking to borrow something; a kid looking to see if he left his notebook in your class;  a calendar addition for a training "inservice" coming up; a course offering from one of dozens of teacher aimed groups. That's optimistic of course...there could be disaster spelled out in these e-mails...something about job cuts or additional duties...or a myriad of dysfunctional occurences soon to occur.

I move on to planning.  Do I have copies of the worksheets?  This is one reason I come early...no emergency last minute traffic jam at the copy machine!  Is the DVD player working?  Is the video download able to be played on the big screen through the LCD player?  Do Juan, Allie, Shay or Mariah have their homework that they missed yesterday...have I made copies for them?   Has Rey come to make up his test? 

I will teach about the French Revolution and Enlightenment in World History; begin Article II of the Constitution in Government Class...and hype up the Honors class with a debate on presidential power, since they are deeply divided over whether Patrick Henry was right when he said that our presidency "squints toward monarchy".  They love that phrase and can use it properly to excoriate Nixon and even my beloved FDR for their seizing of megalomaniacal power.   Good on them, even though they are lazy writers for the most part...they love the sound of their own voices even more than most teenagers, and I can see some budding politicians.

I bite my tongue in Honors class when debates on issues come up.  I have to let them learn.  I honor all voices, since much of the class came from Catholic school and holds rather conservative views.  I am guilty of playing devil's advocate to the point that they love to try to guess what political wind fills my sails.  The clues ARE in the classroom. You can't miss the FDR and JFK posters...or my Obama campaign sign...interspersed between my cowboy hatted George W. stand-up and the John McCain stuff...I really do have to be neutral in appearance!  I do get to direct the isses and conversations, and nudging goes a long way toward molding thought processes there.

The kids?  What are they like?  They are TEEN-AGERS dammit!  I fight a constant battle for their attention. The 14 year old boys are just like 10 year olds...many haven't reached puberty...they do goofy things like spitwads and pencils in the ceiling, and are VERY physical...shoving, slapping and nudging each other constantly.  Reindeer games I call it.  I will be stunned to see these little boys back in 2 years at 16, sporting new facial hair and even a few baritone voices.  It's like magic, really!

The 14 year old girls are different.  They  have already done the puberty thing, that's old hat.  But they are still little girls really.  I cringe sometimes at the clothing, but at our school it is rare that the 14 years olds shock me yet...it is their older sisters at 16 I am stunned by mostly...more on that later.  The most common personality malfunction by 14 year old girls is that they mistake me for their moms.  And this is the age at which many of them absolutely, without qualms DETEST their mothers.  So many times, simple requests for compliance are accompanied by the eye-roll, the heavy sigh or the ever present sneer of derision.  This too shall pass, and by the next time I have them in class in two years, they are precoccupied by a totally different drive.

Are they having sex, you ask?  Well, many of them surely are.  I will have to write of my encounters with this part of their lives in another post...sorry, no titillation today, folks.

The 16 year-olds are a different breed.  The boys have grown muscles and have gone more quiet in my presence for the most part...except for a few...like Anatoly, who will surely be a con-man in his future; or Brandon who is the quintessential class goof boy, that I can't keep from laughing at.   Every once in a while I get one that is deep, deep, deep...like Andre, who is a foster kid, and works a lot of hours to do what he does, maintaining a "C" average and looking ages older than his puerile colleagues.  

The 16 year old girls?  They are the cell-phone queens.  They of the 2,000 monthly texts and the constant drama.  They'll text sitting at the next desk, you know?  We confiscate the phones.  I wish there was harsher enforcement by the administration, but we are left to be the enforcers, and though the signs are posted everywhere:  "Turn off cellphones and put them away!" --these lovelies cannot be without the phone, so they constantly sneak and get caught.  I don't think it is as bad in my class as others.  I am a veteran now, and have eyes in the back of my head, though I am sure I am fooled at least twice a day.  You have to pick your battles.

 And...oh, the clothing.  Our school has a dress code, and it is really pretty well enforced.  It was only approved about 5 years ago, when the whale tail thong trend was at its height.  Honestly, my eyes used to pop out.  Meredith, wearing very thin white cotton pants with a pink thong complete with whale tail comes to mind.  The boys are mesmerised, and can't function faced with such pulchritude...they are literal zombies sometimes.  Once Hayley...a very cute, leggy 9th grader (think Cameron Diaz) was wearing "Daisy Dukes" and had propped her leg up on the chair, knee up...giving Lucas a view of "shangra-la" from across the aisle. ( My room is set up "auditorium" style with desks in a "U" shape...it is easier to see and control behavior like this than in traditional rows)  Ahem...I had to whisper to Hayley that she might want to lower her leg...by that time Lucas was practically drooling.  

*Sigh*...I really do love them...please know that I have changed all their names here and fiercely protect them in all that I write.  

 Moving on...Lunch...I don't usually get to really eat in quiet.  If I don't lock my door, I get a flood of students seeking help or those just wanting to share my view and plop on the couch in my classroom.  I don't always eat with colleagues, partly because these lunch sessions can turn easily into "bitch" sessions, and partly because I can't be bothered to go down to our Social Studies lounge, where there are no windows.  Sometimes, if it is nice out, and I feel I won't be too rushed,  I take a walk in the park across the street with my friend Rose, who is an exchange teacher from Australia.  I love her dauntless, cheerful dispostion...since I am a worry wort, she helps me with perspective.  But mostly, I stuff a piece of fruit between my jaws, wolf down some leftover concoction or a salad, and WORK through lunch.  

I might research my next lesson.  I might write an exam.  I might e-mail a colleague or parent.  I might meet with a student.  I might set up the classroom for a Socratic seminar.  I might actually take a piss!!

That's another thing they don't prepare you for in teaching college.  NO potty breaks.  The day moves along at light speed.  You do get a planning period and that is when you try to go...then and in lunch.  I am lucky this year, since my new, remodeled classroom is across the hall from the office, and they have a toilet there.  Otherwise, the adult restrooms, requiring a key to open, with the added luxury of privacy...are scattered few and far between.  I have so often felt great compassion for my pregnant colleagues whose classrooms are far from the bog.  You have to have a bladder of steel to teach high school!

What...we've only made it through half a day?  I will have to make this a two parter.  I have so much to say about teaching...and hope that you may find it interesting.  There is much tragedy...pathos and even some joy involved...never a dull moment...

Do stop by...for the afternoon...

 (Shit...I thought I had accidentally deleted this post when I was typing it...will wonders never cease...here it is, saved!  So, I throw caution to the wind, and post away...two months late!)