I'd Sleep With Paul Ryan But I Wouldn't Vote For Him
I was watching Clint Eastwood, who is one of my all time favorite actors, make an absolute ass of himself, fumbling enough to win the Charlton Heston Sad Old Man award, and thought fondly of the previous night of the National Convention Of Straight White People.
I'm sorry, this radical liberal guy was kind of transfixed by Paul Ryan. He's a powerful and charismatic speaker, something that's been missing lately. And he's handsome, especially for a politician. Most politicians have a kind of stuffy pretentious air that doesn't work on me. But I watched Ryan, a little in awe, and wondering what it would be like to get him naked and alone.
I know, I'm barking up the wrong tree. He scores a 0% by the HRC (gay rights organization), which means he's a major homophobe. Of course, you know what that means, right?
Don't get me wrong, I'm really not the kind of gay dude who goes around lusting after straight men. There's enough handsome gay men to lust after. But once in a while, that celebrity crush can't help but appear. I mean, how can you not have the hots for Michael Phelps or Ryan Lochte?
And maybe it's because I was bored with what Ryan had to say. I can hear the same attacks on conservative talk radio any day. The Republicans trying to pretend that they didn't get us in this mess, and that they haven't done everything to keep us in it has gotten so old it's boring. So my mind wandered, performing unspeakable acts with Mr. Ryan.
Where am I going with this? We need to be mindful of the difference of likeability and looks and various ways we get attracted to candidates, and what they stand for. Though I wouldn't have the strength to say no to Ryan if he decided to join my team or just experiment, there's no way I would vote for him.
He's against abortion. He's a member of the NRA. He's against Obamacare. Terrible on gay rights. What's to like? And really, when if it came down to it, what would we talk about? You can only stare at someone longingly for so much time before you need to connect in other ways. There would probably be little common ground.
If this is offensive, that's intentional. Because Ryan's and his parties attitudes towards all things gay is offensive to me. As are their attitudes towards women, immigrants, anyone who's not white really. I'm past the point of caring who I offend.
After Eastwood, there was a token Latino man and then Romney himself. Both talked a lot about God, and Romney talked about freedom of religion. We have freedom of religion, what I'm waiting for is freedom FROM religion, or actually, from some people's narrow misinterpretation of religion.
Really, when if it came down to it, I could only sleep with Ryan if I didn't know anything about him. After hearing him speak, and having time to think about it, I don't think I could go through with it. I'm not that desperate. Let's hope our country isn't that desperate either.