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Z BITCH

Z BITCH
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New York, New York, USA
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Z lives in NYC. He is definitely NOT a writer. In fact English is Z's second languange. Z loves to have FUN & share his FUN with everyone! :):):) Kiss Kiss

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Salon.com
FEBRUARY 18, 2009 9:56AM

My grandma told me, she did masturbate!!! Ooopps!

Rate: 4 Flag
For me getting together with my family is all about eating, drinking & at the end sometimes fighting. One of those holidays, my grandmother was very old. Because of her back problem she couldn’t even walk. She was constantly on painkiller and all sorts of medications. For holiday dinner all family went to her place. My aunts prepared everything. She was in the bed in her room and the rest of us were in the living room chatting. When dinner time came, my mother put her dinner on a festive tray & brought in her room. I was there entertaining grandmother. Well, since it was holiday, they let her have a glass of red wine which was her favorite drink. I gotta tell you!! Combination of pain killer, red wine & old age made granny have loose lips. She started talking about the past & grandpa. All of a sudden she said to my mother (BTW— When you translate my mother name to English, her name is Star! No!!! I’m not Star Jones’s illegitimate child! Don’t even think!!)
“Star! I read a story in the newspaper today. It was about a guy who killed his wife during sex. Apparently they were into fetish sex, that involves bandages, pins, all sorts of dangerous things.
OMG! Mother!! What are you talking about?” Meantime I was alert & ready to listen everything.
“Some women love fetish sex. I have never liked it
Mootheer!! You need to stop talking like that. Have some soup!”
“Anyway, that article said there were clubs! These people go there & do these things with strangers” Grandma turned to me and said “This kind of sex is a terrible thing! Don’t you ever do that! They use pins, wires, ropes and everything. They pee on each other and do other stuff! Can you imagine!!

My mother was furious “Mother I need you to be quiet!”
Grandma said “Once we were at summer house. Your father got frisky. We were alone. He set me on the counter top. He was rough. He pinched & bit my nipples. We did it in the kitchen. That was the only fetish sex we did”
I was laughing. I was so curious how far my grandma could go and asked her “Did you like it?”
She said “Yeah!!! You bet! I screamed during that sex” I said “Was grandpa good in the bed?”
My mother yelled at me “I will kill you if you keep asking obscene questions. Mother!! Please stop saying these things! “
Grandma got angry “Star!! Shut up! I’m talking to my grandson” and she turned to me” I cannot possibly know if he was good or bad in the bed. He was the only man I had sex.”
“NO ONE ELSE?!! ”
“No!! Never! Well! Once I touched my cookie thinking about someone else”
I was like “ Whaaattt? What cookie?”
“You know what I mean. I played with my jewel box! LOL
“You meant you masturbated?!” My mother was out of it “You two are sick!!!”
Grandmother said “Yes! I masturbated!” and giggled.
I said “Only once?! Who did you fantasize about?”
She said “OK! Four or five times!!! He was our gardener!” turned to mother “Do you remember that hunk?!”
Mom said “Gardener??!! You did!! What??!! God sake! “
Grandma responded “He was so hot! His biceps!! Hmmm!!” She took a deep breath” Great big package! I’m still getting excited when ever I remember him. He was always wearing a tank top. One day he was so sweaty! He took it off! I was looking at him from my bedroom’s window! SO HOT! SO SEXY! Masculine body with farmers tan! My hand went down there. I didn’t even realize! Next thing I knew I tickled my private part!” My mother realized it was not going to be very graphic. She immediately got up and ordered me “YOU! Leave the room! You are asking so many questions!!”
Well! After that day my relatives decided not to give grandma wine anymore. She had a marvelous personality. She died many years ago! I still remember & laugh at her stories.

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What a naughty grandma!!! LOL
hee hee You have an excellent grandmother.
Jewel box! Cookie! Very funny. It was mean not to let her have wine anymore.