zanelle

zanelle
Location
Alpine, California, United States
Birthday
December 07
Bio
I am here in cyberspace trying to understand the true nature of reality. My artwork can be seen in the blog link below. http://suzannesmith0.wix.com/stucco-by-zanelle#!home/mainPage

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MARCH 19, 2012 8:34AM

Anniversaries

Rate: 9 Flag

   There are moments in life that we can see coming.  Triggers that are waiting to detonate explosive memories of past events.   When you travel around the year these times are brought out again for examination.  We weep again or we smile, depending on our perspective.  Sometimes we weep this year when we were smiling last year.

   This election year I remember back to 2008 when we were all so full of hope and change.  I will weep this year as I realize how difficult that is to manifest.  I hope I am smiling this time in four years when Obama has held in there and made a dent in the problems of the world.

    Anniversaries should remind us of the wheel.  A spiral that takes us through time and back again.   We fold in on ourselves and reinvent who we are over and over.  The anniversary I remember is every day and every minute.   A bubble of experiences that make me myself right now.  I honor the past and see the new connections with the future that are beginning here now in the present.

   A horoscope of people have surrounded me and as I sit here all alone I can feel them with me still.  When I interact with one person I am touching them all.  Inner life reflected in real time.  However there are events that are out of our control that have altered who we are and will be coming in the future to test us.  Some live in fear of these anniversaries but I try to be brave.

   I see the time of a death as very important.  My neighbor is waiting for her mother to die this week.  It surely won't be longer than that.  But there is a moment when we cross over and it is a window in time.  Or is time infinite?  Do we take our last breath and then continue to dissolve into the earth like we have been doing since we were born?

    bones

              nature 015 

Bones2_crop 

                  rose and bark

  From the decay of one form springs another.   I can see death and birth all around me and I honor the new crop of Iris that are coming up in my garden.  I remember there were only two blossoms from them last year and I wonder if this generation will have more flowers.  We grow, bloom if we are lucky, and die.  

   My neighbor just came over and told me her mom had died.  She is a Native American and died at peace with her family around her.  A giant hailstorm has passed thru the area here.  It seems like a good time to die. I remember a pink hailstorm that passed over a Native Chef's funeral in Seattle.  The mother earth knows how to move things along with honor.

    I can see the anniversary of my friend's death coming up.  He died last May 27 and I can see him sitting here sick last year at this time.   His body was cremated at the city forensics lab and the ashes taken out to sea for free since no one claimed the body.  I think that is the way he would be comfortable taking the journey.  There are pieces of him washing up on the ocean in Fiji sometime soon and I know he will be reborn as a hermit crab and pinch my toes when I am there on the beach.

   Who am I?  Who are we all?  As the anniversaries fly by,  pause in the moment to honor what has gone before and what will come.  It is all happening right now and it is all equally important.

  019_crop

 

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Comments

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It is a deluge here. Rain, hail and cold. The homeless are gathering together. We are clinging to life rafts as the money and food run out and our cars are stalled in long lines on the freeways. It feels like the end of the world.
I hate to see what is happening in your area!! Stay safe girl..
I love this line "A horoscope of people have surrounded me and as I sit here all alone I can feel them with me still" how very well put and so true. I am here when you need me and we will get through these anniversaries together.
It sometimes does feel like the end of the world, doesn't it?
We just keep turning and evolving Zanelle..
"Proud Mary keeps on turning"

HUGGGGGGGGGG
What synchronicity! I just got off computer trying to spell the word "anniversary". I was writing a friend to tell him that my husband and I both forgot our 20th wedding anniversary this month...and spell check did not quite get my attempts. I don't look at dates.I go on my on cycle. Today for the first time, I smelled Spring. The earth is waking up and I know that now we will have a period of rebirth.
Beautiful pictures and good thoughts.
Great post and wonderful pics. Anniversaries I can handle. Loss I can deal with. What really gets to me is when out of the shadows in my head a random wave swells up and for a moment I'm swept away reliving an event when I wronged someone else. That's the phenomenon of recall that really gets to me.
Ooo Those thoughts are tough ones and as life goes on they stay emblazoned in my mind and get triggered just like the good thoughts. It is such a journey. Be kind.
There is a lot of wisdom in this post. I hope you meet a good partner soon. Someone who will be kind, enjoy your art and of course, Love Sex!:-)
Wise & thoughtful post, Zanelle.
Awe the moments that punctuate our lives, they have the power to lift our spirits or crush our souls.
Regardless these moments shape us and so often help us grow.
Well done.
Zannelle, very incisiive view of our sense of time's anxious beat. You seem, as I am, too into its path. Always feel the present posing the urgent question of what does this mean, where is it taking us?
You always rasie the question of meaning, how this works and what it is doing to us. Thanks for bringing these moments to us, to edge them closer, so that we taste, drink in, what is true. Engage us on our journey. Thanks again for being you.