As the last few boyfriends fall away into the vast universe of rejected loves, I find my self living just with a rat.
Yes, that makes me cry. It also makes me smile. My ex husband would probably think I am getting my just desserts. Finally ending up alone with just a rat for company. It is about sharing the living space with another consciousness. The rat knows when I am awake and I hear him scurry away. He knows me.
I heard something rustling in the night and in the morning I saw a big chunk taken out of a corn cob I had left out on the kitchen counter.
All day I was sad thinking that he has to die. I could have saved a couple dollars and bought the mouse trap but I went for the big bucks and bought the rat and mice D Con. I now imagine he is a rat and he is a he.
So it has come to this. The Rat and I huddled together in the heat facing off over the right to live in this space. I hope he enjoys his last meal. I will miss him just like all the other boyfriends who have gone before.
I saw a few nibbles from the tray of bait inside and outside. It has taken three days for the bait to work. Now I am projecting the image in my mind that it is a mouse and a female. I saw an advertisement today that exclaimed one female rat can produce a thousand more rats in one year. Exterminate Now!
My empathic mind is suffering with the lady mouse who is down under the house dying right now. I have to just move on and let it go. If you feel the agony of everyone around you and try to fix it or hold on to it or keep it away you become exhausted. Let it go. The sweet little lady mouse had to die.
I become the silent mouse. The large, agressive Rat image has been replaced with frail little whiskers. Men come and go but my peace is now.
It seems I am surrounded by life and death. It is all around me as this second full moon of the month gets full and a giant thunderstorm rolls by. I thought I was finished with vermin. I felt a little guilty eating the corn after killing the mouse who was obviously so happy to have had some too.
I think I made the right decision about the rat and the men in my life. I can be brutal with my roommates. The rat is in my spirit circle now.