My felon boyfriend had just gotten out of Federal Prison after six years for robbing banks and we were walking in the lane of the parking lot in Walmart. It was a beautiful sunny day. Someone in a car beeped at us to move out of the way and Peter did not move. We kept walking.
A young blondie lady jumped out of the car and started walking beside us. "Couldn't you just be nice and move out of the way." she asked.
"Get back in your car now." Peter said. "I just got out of prison and you don't want to mess with me." The lady quietly went back to her car.
"I don't like Bullies." My new male friend said when I told him this story.
"Who was the bully in that situation?" I asked.
"He was." my new friend said. I told him that my felon thought the bully was the woman. The real bully might have been the guy in the car who beeped his horn.
My felon had a heart of gold. All his life he had championed the little guy and gotten revenge on the bad guys. In his mind he was a hero. He had taken care of himself in prison by not giving up his place in line from day one. He not only survived in prison he thrived.
I can be a bully. I'm a big lady and I could really push people around. That is why I like big strong slightly crazy guys to play with. I am lots to handle. Another word for bully is manipulator. I do not like it when things do not go my way.
I am trying to be kind. It is not easy and I am not sure it is always the best way to be. Sometimes I have to draw a line in the sand. I have always regretted it immediately when I do that or at least when I look back at the situations where I have been a bully.
It will help when I figure out who the bullies are and when I am being a bully. We all have it in us. There are some classic bullies. Was Humphrey Bogart a bully? Maybe Lauren Bacall was? The HULK is such a great story about a man who others saw as a bully but who was really quite wonderful.