Alpine, California, United States
December 07
I am here in cyberspace trying to understand the true nature of reality. My artwork can be seen in the blog link below.!home/mainPage


Zanelle's Links

FEBRUARY 3, 2013 10:02AM

The Dying of the Light...Headache Pain

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   Oh, my lost love.   How I wanted to be with you and talk to you forever.  I see you now with headaches and nausea fading to black.  You don't want anyone close to you.

    Oh, Mom.   You never had headaches in your life and now they are constant.  Laying down in a dark room is what you have to do.

     What are these horrible things that some people have to live with all their lives?  Migraines are something I was always glad to avoid.  I think they are a sign of something serious going on but sometimes they are just there.  These two people are perfectionists.  Could this be the reason their brains are shorting out?

      I do not like pain.  I hate to see people I love in pain,  actually I hate to see anyone in pain even a mortal enemy.   Oh I don't know.  Sometimes voo voo doll pain makes sense to me.  It is better than this random pain in the dark that is so dibilitating.

       We are all blinking out.  Just stars in the universe here for a moment.  Jewels in the soup that dissolve and reappear.  I hope I see some people again.  I mourn them now and they are not even dead.   You should do right by people because they ride with you on this journey.

       I am cavalier about death.  I know when it is my turn I won't want to go into the darkness and I will be afraid.  I don't want to be nasty but I can't predict my anger.  I hope I don't strike out at people.  If I was in lots of pain I am afraid I would take it out on those around me.  

     My old flame and my mom are incredibly stoic.   They can go into a dark room and suffer by themselves for hours.  They focus on surviving and not going insane.  They face it square on and defeat the blackness over and over again.  I hope I am that brave if it is ever my turn. I have heard that embracing the darkness is as important as fighting it.


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I am a child of the dark and I know no fear.. It will be okay Zanelle