I'm blessed to have lots of girlfriends, with a wide range of ages, nationalities, shapes, sizes, professions and interests.  They're all pretty intelligent and are involved in bright, promising careers.  Some are or were married but most are single.  We work, we play, we have our Sunday morning breakfasts and bi weekly happy hours...and we talk alot, mostly about guys and our sex lives.  I love the life, I love the girls, but lately I'm becoming  more and more deaf to them all, and am left with only one question....

 How do intelligent, articulate, professionally successful women lose their fucking brains when it comes to men???

I"m no genius, but I'm no dummy either.  Yes, I've made my share of mistakes in the love department as well, but as my Daddy taught me, "mistakes are alright as long as you learn something from them".  My girls, I'm afraid, go deaf, dumb and blind when it comes to the men in their lives and its driving me nuts.  I can't even stand to listen to it anymore, so I'm gonna share it with you so maybe YOU can reach them...allow me to introduce you to my friends....

Kara - A middle age attractive blonde, short and a little stocky, but well put together. A great gal, but really obsessed with age.  She's not twenty anymore and obsesses about it.  She'll also obsesses over everyone else's age..."how old are you, where do you get your botox" which pretty much mortified me the first time I heard that stupid comment fall from her lips. Kara once had the "pleasure" of being a kept woman by a wealthy guy who saw to it that she wanted for nothing except commitment. Well, lots of us had/have that dream, but I ask you...do you really want to have someone else provide you with all the essentials you need to live on and survive with, never knowing when they'll yank the carpet out from under you and leave you hanging like a dog?  Then what do you do?  You can do what Kara has been doing...embark on a perpetual search for the next Mr. Wrong, and in the in the process sleep with a bunch of assholes who are well tuned in to your desperate plight and take significant advantage of you, leaving you with no self esteem at all.  Her latest is Craig, a guy in her building who tells everyone he is an attorney (she googled him all over the place in an attempt to prove he actually is, but can't).  Craig is in great shape and is quick to tell you how great, that he participates in various sporting events.  His muscles are obviously his greatest attribute because at least they are really there.  Craig is completely void of the ability to care for anything other than himself, is a control freak, severely arrogant and can only feel good about himself by crushing others.  Enter Kara.  He wines her (with Trader Joe's label wine, no less!) without dining her and schmoozes her into bed in his less than appealing condo.  Why Kara didn't think of asking him if he sees other women before they got into bed is beyond me and what's even more mind boggling is that his answer was "yes, I do and I am not about to stop seeing other women" and Kara didn't feel the need to run the hell outta there.

She continues to see him, without the benefit of commitment, promise or even going out to dinner.  He calls her when he gets a boner and she runs.  She sleeps over at his dump of a condo and plays detective every time he gets up to take a piss, finding wine glasses with lipstick on them, nail polish marks on the walls and various other signs of women being in his "lair".   She spends her time away from him googling and trying to trace his steps to determine who else he may be with whenever he is not with her.  How many times, or from how many people does she need to hear that this guy is an asshole and she needs to move on.  If you're gonna be a princess girlfriend, have higher standards and don't let anyone else lower them.  Wake the fuck up; I can't stand listening to this stupid shit anymore.

My advice: Instead of combing the city looking for someone to create a fabulous life for you, how about you doing it yourself and in the process attracting someone who wants to add to your fabulousness????  Live your live, set goals and work at achieving them.  We don't need a knight in shining armor to pick us up and put us on his horse...look for the same knight, but ask him to ditch the armor and horse and walk through the field, finding a path that suits you both.  

 Violet - Tall, thin, very attractive girl from Peru.  A very intelligent architect who was raised well with high morals and standards.  Violet is in love with foreign men.  In Chicago, its not hard to find them, either.   Violet fell in love with a Frenchman who was full of savior fare, but not too much else.  While he admired her ambition, he had none of his own and fed off of her success.  When she lost her job, he lost interest.  So she found a Brazilian who baited her with his charm, muscles and dinner,followed by  great South American sex. WHEW!  Be still my heart!!!  Ok, I get that, but....then he says he has to leave to go back to Brazil and  would she meet him in Miami to spend one last day together before he leaves the country?  She spends a fortune on a last minute ticket (ahem...why didn't he buy you a ticket; after all, he asked you to join him!) and a few other sex surprises, meets him in Miami, he is all consumed with shopping in order to bring back American things to his family (hmmmm, is there a wife included in that family?) and they spend the day shopping.  By the way, he bought nothing for Violet! They get back to his hotel and he is exhausted and has an early flight so he has to get some sleep.  The sexy lingerie she bought went completely to waste, as did her airfare because before you knew it, the alarm went off and they both had to rush to the airport.  At least something got off, because she didn't.  He has been in touch with her since via texting, but in nothing serious.   Now she is wondering what to do about him and should she go back to her lazy ass ex Frenchman.  "At least I wouldn't be alone" is her rationale, which sends chills down my spine!  

My advice: The ex is a sponge, the Brazilian is using you to have a bootie call for the next time he returns to Chicago (he was studying here; may return occasionally if he gets the job he wants).  You are an extraordinary business woman who is used to designing multi million dollar projects. Why are you so lame when it comes to designing your relationships? Focus on obtaining employment; you are extremely talented.  Maintain the same confidence and strong decision making abilities in your dating life.

Mary - Great gal; comes from a good, upscale midwestern family.  Very well educated and enjoys a promising career as Director of Human Resources for a large international firm.  But she drinks so much, she can't even remember who she let take her home, so we can't even get into the specifics of the guys she "dates" because they are mostly one night stands. It's a pretty sad sight when a lady is so drunk she can't even walk.  I don't even want to go out with her anymore, because she can't hold any liquor at all and won't even consider not drinking.  I want to have fun when I go out and don't want to baby sit.  Honey, you need AA more than you need a night out with me.

My advice:  Mary, you need professional intervention.  You are an alcoholic and need help beyond my means.  You are a wonderful person and a good friend, but I cannot and will not tolerate to nurse a drunk. 

Girls....I love you all, but you gotta get it together.  Yeah ,we all fall in love at first good kiss, but beyond that a guy can only treat you the way you allow him to.  UGH!