In my next life, I want to be a dog.   Well, let me clarify that a bit.  I want to a dog living with a man who loves dogs.   For a while now, I've tried to act more like a dog, but doggone it, it's much harder than it looks.  We have two dogs and although I've been studying their behavior, I've yet to master it.  (No pun intended!)

Here's why.  Whenever my husband comes home, actually whenever he even pulls into the driveway, our dogs are consumed with glee.  They bark in high pitched, excited tones and run to the door, awaiting their beloved.  They run in circles around his feet.  "Oh you're home, you're home, you're home.  We're so happy to see you!"  They never even care if he's two hours later than he said he would be or that he goes right up to his office and boots up his laptop.  No, they are just thrilled to follow him like, well, like puppies.  "Oh love me, love me, love me.  I'll do anything you want.  Just give me a little pat on the head!" 

And these dogs of ours are always happy to sit quietly at his feet.  They don't even talk; they just sit there with their soft brown eyes, waiting for him to give them a belly rub or another pat on the head.  Sometimes they'll wait for hours, but they never get tired.  And if he tosses them a biscuit, well, there is no limit to their gratitute.  They lovingly lick his feet, and then rest their soft heads on his toes, all snuggly and warm. 

When the grass has grown too long, they don't see it as an eyesore; they just scamper around happily.  "Isn't this fun?" they yip.  "This is the best!  Overgrown grass is so much better than that neatly trimmed stuff the neighbors insist upon! Oh I love you so much." 

They sit when they're told, they stop barking on command (well ,most of the time), and they want abosultely nothing other than for their master to give them a little space at the edge of the bed after a long hard day of sleeping, eating and peeing.  Ah, that's the life!

My attempts at being a lap-wife have been a miserable failure.  My needs are just too great.  So, in my next life I think I shall be a dog.  Woof, Woof!