A psalm of David.

 ² From the lips/… Read full post »

 UPDATE:  I WENT TO DELETE SOME OF MY OWN COMMENTS AND OS ACTED UP. IF I DELETED ANY OF YOUR COMMENTS, PLEASE PUT THEM BACK!!!!

It's Attention Deficit Conflict Resolution Discussion Time!

Arizona gets these. That grit gets everywhere, even in your cootchie!

OD… Read full post »

1.  I don't have enough rubber bands

2.  The FIMO clay dildoes were NOT a hit ten years ago.

3.  You can't mail chicken.

4.  It is not smart to use baggies filled with baking soda for stuffed animals.

5.  Fermentation is a complicated… Read full post »

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and

I'm not sure… Read full post »

Leonid, oh Leonid

Your glowing balls

Of Golden light

In Golden showers 

Throughout the night

Make me wonder

If it could be true

That those shiny balls

Are really Yooouuuuu!

Read full post »

The pirate wimmins was feelin' sparky

When they was smacked with verbal malarkey

They had to teach a lesson that day

And General JK said "Avast And Away!"

And wild events did come to unfold

A thirteenth night of wildness happened, we're told!

Fig. 1  The/… Read full post »

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid/… Read full post »

Me apologies fer missin' the pirate swabbyin' last eve, but the Zum was lost in the sea of ATT, and couldn't deal with the exhaustin' business of the day here at OS.

Let me tell you my sorry tale.

Ye see. It is never just the reinventin' of… Read full post »

The travelling flounce dress is at home for now.

When I posted the first "Happy Sunday", a douchebag of an editor pointedly populated the front page with all of the anti religious and anti Christian crap that could be found. I would despise seeing "Happy Sunday" on the… Read full post »

Today, it's the infamous puffy pancake and how to get one.

This recipe calls for a good crepe batter. This one has

2 huge eggs

1 tblsp buttery something

Milk

Salt

A tblsp sugar/splenda mix

In the new pan with the much… Read full post »

To all veterans on your day

You have been the terrible, swift sword

You have been the helping hand

You have been the deterrent

That gave us witness to peace

You have been the sacrificed… Read full post »

I just happened to be at Darth Doctor's joint, the VA megaplex today for a private session with my photographer, who wanted to do some organ pornography.

And guess what I found out? There are free meals and food for Veterans of the U.S. Armed Forces! Just grab some proof: a… Read full post »

Serendipity is the accidental or consequential event. Serendipity is an unplanned or unexpected result of a planned action. It is the fabulous surprise that shows up when a scientist completes an experimental process, and an unexpected substance or reaction occurs. Serendipity is the artist's "incide… Read full post »

Oh, children, don't you weep,
If the road is long.
All of us are prayers of action,
On our way to God,
On our way to God.

Some of us are long and rambling,
Sometimes lost for years,
Some of us are small and holy,
Beautiful and clear.

Oh, children, don't/… Read full post »

Awwwwww!

It is my one year

anniversary at

Open Salon!

Please join me in

celebrating

by

signing my condolence

book!

Here's an elegant feast!

 Here's… Read full post »

I went out for the first time in a year and actually shopped!  This is the first month of not scraping by, counting up loose change, trying to figure out how much two wheat pennies get on E-bay, or considering robbing a bank.

Hooking is out. I'm way too fat and… Read full post »

Celebrations

Thank you very much for everything.
I have no complaints whatsoever.

a personal prayer - hugh redmond

I would be true, for there are those who trust me;
I would be pure, for there are those who care;
… Read full post »

 Part One

Part Two

I was a vase!  I had just learned to grab the molecues of a delightful bit of chinoiserie and to sit quietly on the mantle of a New York Townhouse, where the monster was stalking a lovely man who wore ascots and smoking jackets. His… Read full post »

Part One

 The monster, had taken over the body of an overdressed and over botoxed heifer...the kind with the huge bubbies that look as if she had taped a couple of soccer balls to her chest. it glared balefully, then ripped itself out of the poor woman and flew in my… Read full post »

I write because I was chased by the type of monster that ravages and eats the body in order to release the soul.

Then it eats the soul.

This monster rankles and torments and bullies a person until there is no more will to live and then,  just before… Read full post »

Application For The Position Of Open Salon Editor

General Zumalicious, Pirate Woman

Sacramento, California

 • Curating Open Salon content, and helping incorporate it into Salon's overall editorial content.

Editor's picks and the home page will never be the same, I pro… Read full post »

Ha!  I've had this monitor, which went with my useless MAC, sitting up and taking space for years. Years!  I couldn't get rid of it.  So it sat there, hulking, stubborn and bulky.

It was squatting there, gloating, as I carefully dusted the useless creature. Then, it dawned on me… Read full post »