I went out for the first time in a year and actually shopped!  This is the first month of not scraping by, counting up loose change, trying to figure out how much two wheat pennies get on E-bay, or considering robbing a bank.

Hooking is out. I'm way too fat and everything hurts. My metabolism is so shut down that the weight stays the same in the face of working out or in the face of being just a lazy schlub.  I can't be a lazy schlub, though. The constant urge to accomplish something drives me to work on something, but I can't find the mojo!

 Maybe Muddy Can Help

I went to Ross Dress For Less for the 10 percent senior discount. There were the two pans with the metal handles for searing then slamming into the oven for some finishing work.  Plus, if I forget to take them out of my oven/storage when I preheat, the handles won't melt. 

I wanted to cry when I saw the Christmas stuff. I just wanted to cry, thinking about all of the families who won't have enough to even be in a house, let alone a house full of cheer.  We haven't even had Thanksgiving yet. Get that Christmas stuff out of there and put up a pilgrim and a turkey or something.

It is a reminder to start buying an extra can or two of stuff for the donations. That is a good program, where families who have homes can get a dinner.

Jimmy!! What you got? You got any mojo?

The shopping goal was for a pair of knit pants, a sweater, and a knit dress. Nothing looks good on. Nothing looks good. I'm dreadfully sad about the weight that wasn't there four and a half years ago, and won't go away after working so hard. Screw it. I'll just have to be a jolly fat woman, as if that is supposed to be something.

Ross Dress For Less had everything, anyway.  There were only a couple of disappointments in having to put some things back, but frugality is the goal. Maintaining the frugality is the goal. It hurts to not have Mom  or someone to buy for, but the hurt that they've caused me is far worse. I'm still used to picking up something for someone, though.

It's been a good couple of months, but, somehow, right now, it's depressing as hell. The weather is gorgeous, but it's hard to stay out for three hours without gettting exhausted and paying for it with the stiffness and soreness that sets in if I stop moving for a while.

Maybe it's that the music has gone far enough and I need to start working on the two pieces that I put away and refuse to even look at. They're gorgeous peices, but they represent another six months of work, stuck as they are at the point of unfinished-ness.

That is hell for an artsy fartsy person. Stuck work. 

Darth doctor ordered up sonagrams of me innards for the 10th. The next big wall of oh hell no. The last thing that I intend to deal with is any kind of knock out drops, then spelunking around in there. I've been through two God awful rounds of that and won't have no more of it. Maybe that's what's eatin' at me. The idea of more bad news, just when life was getting incrementally better. 

I know who has the Mojo!  There he is!  The little devil should behave!

But Chuck Stetson is asking if anyone's got the Open Salon mojo. I don't have it today. Austin borrowed it and just gave it back.

So let's all just get high and forget about it.

Get some rest.

Come back at it tomorrow.