This is a riveting tale of love, betrayal, lost fortunes and times of struggle against the machine.

Come along as I tell you the story of Penis Fish.

It all began on a sultry, sweaty day on the Orinoco river. Jose Garcia was taking an innocent dip in the brackish water, trying to wash away the dust of his travels from the village of Hohocka Atchoo.

He was also trying to wash something else away. He was lavishing in the algae laden water an an attempt to obliterate the memory of his wife, Esperanza, who betrayed him with his worst enemy, Paolo Aldebar. 

Aldebar was a slimy player in international academic circles. The man was a shameless intellectual hustler who never had an original epiphany in his life! Years ago, Aldebar had stolen Jose's graduate thesis and presented it as his own.

Since Jose was too poor both in his finances and his connections to the powerful benefactors of the university, Aldebar was never discovered and brought to justice.

And now the hijo de puta had stolen the love of Jose's life as surely as he had stolen the fruit of Jose's mind!

Suddenly, a scream erupted from the riverbank. Jose could barely make out the words, but knew what they meant...

"Pesce de pene!!!! Pesce de pene!!!!"

Jose erupted from the water and dashed to shore, collapsing in exhaustion and great relief that the dreaded penis fish had not been able to attack him.

Before he fell asleep on the cool, soft grass of the river bank, Jose remembered the words of his Chinese Mentor, Bao Lo.

"When you set out in your car to get revenge, load up your guns before you leave."

Jose replied "That is not the correct quotation..." 

"Be silent and pass the Beano!" Bao Lo had shouted.

A plan began to form in Jose's fevered and overheated mind....

TO BE CONTINUED