I had a great post military career as an inventory analyst, strategic planner and forecaster.

I loved to practice the art of the two hundred million dollar guess, where the parts and pieces that keep a jet engine going for a while longer could only bought or sold if I decreed it would be so.

It was amazing to stand beneath a one story high blade set and know that those perfectly tuned blades would be integral to me getting to Hawaii and back. 

I loved the yuppiedom and the ability to wear a power suit and heels one day, and jeans and t-shirts the next. The jeans and t-shirts were for the shop floor excursions where the people were happier swinging from place to place on vines.

They grunted a lot down on that shop floor..especially if you were a woman. Some of them were fired FBI agents and Ku Klux Klan wizards. Some of them were probably both.

I got sick and could not sustain the rigors of rednecks and Iranians on work visas, so my career and health sadly ended. 

I went into intensive training for 14 years. I studied the art of art and the writing of writing. I learned to have humor about things and to weather the storms of transition.

Finally, in 2007, I discovered my true passion for now!

I am a web Pirate Wimmin.

My empire is a vast spread across the wild, wide web.

The rogue waves cannot swamp my ship.

The waterspouts cannot drown my naked deck boys.*

My mentor was the great, great General JK Brady.  I and we minions long for her return. She should retake her rightful perch as our leader against the spamming hordes.

I tweet what I mean and blog what I wish.

I write tales of penis fish.

My new career is brilliant, indeed.

I have no lacks and I have no needs.**

* Every week, I tie all of the deck boys, plus a few briskets, to the mizzen mast and give the deck boys some snorkels. This is how they bathe. Their skin comes out salty and gorgeous, while the briskets are perfectly brined! 

**Except for a larger team of steroidal unicorn hamsters to keep my beloved OS running day and night.