I was talking to this guy. He's a crazy vet who runs around with his little briefcase with his "evidence" from the cold war. He's trying to get his claim through from somewhere in the 1980's. 

Why did I bring up "Infrastructure"? Why? What's wrong with me?

For the next ten minutes, this knothead goes on and on about the interstructure, interstructure, interstructure.

I excused myself and left. 

When I would have guests overseas, they would never knock it off with the questions. Look, every square foot of the place has history, so let's get real. Every old looking building or mile long palace is bound to have a story, but I didn't know those stories. There's one of those suckers every 2 or three miles over there. 

So I just started making up bullshit.

"Yesss...if my memory serves me, that is the palace of Baron Mahrf III. He was a real piece of work, all right. He had people who would do nothing but comb his dogs. Died from old war injuries from the Psycho-Prussian conflict in the 14th century, I think...."

 "Oh, THAT place!" Yesss...that is where the treaty of Marburg was signed. You see, Marburg was booked solid so they had to move it to here. That's the treaty where Germans can't call their fifths of wine "Mad Dog 20/20"!  Yeah! They have to call it Moselbumchuck or something. It's not bad wine, either..."

"No! NO! There IS no city called "Ausfahrt"! It would be one hell of a megalopolis since we've been seeing those same signs for the past 80 kilometers."

"Yes, in Venice, you have to start at San Marco Plaza because of the curse of Montefiori. He's the guy who invented papardelli. Terrible man...took dead bodies and made a diorama of "The Last Supper" out of them...sick fuck, he was..."

(Actually, you have to start out at San Marco Plaza because once you get off the train and onto the aquabus, it's the only place you recognize, so you can look sophisticated, as if you go there all the time.)

Shut up! I did go there all the time, and that's beside the point.

Well, I'm going to eat some mac and cheese and some steamed veggies. It will be very rewarding since I made the pasta, cut the cheese, and grew the veggies myself, right on my own balcony. The corn was the hardest because I had to keep putting it in the living room to hide it from the manager and ended up with corn boogers all over my floor. 

See you later.