I keep getting asked if I was sexually traumatized in the military. Hell yes, I was sexually traumatized in the military. I don't tell anyone about it, though.  

One time, I was at a banquet for some big ticket inspectors of my big ticket operation. I had taken on a real mess, but I was so shit hot that my technical school was waived. I kicked ass from day one and the improvements were fast and many.

At the banquet, one asshole walked up behind me and rubbed his penis against my head. I picked up my dinner fork and let everyone in the room know that I was about to do some frontier justice on that penis.

The head of the inspection team loudly decided to do something about the situation. But the most disappointing aspect of my job that night was that my own troops told me that I should have jumped the monkey with that inspector in order to pass the inspection.

I got the best inspection results in decades at that base, and no monkey jumping went on that night.

Am I traumatized? Nahhh. Pissed still? Yeah.

I had a direct commander who grabbed my hand at a formal dinner and would not let it go. This is an old game that some men play. He ended up at a tire depot. Not because of the hand grabbing, but because he was a psycho and an asshole in general, and many, many of us wanted him dead or gone.

 My second boss on my first real grown up job once called me into a storeroom, then reached for his zipper. I turned around and walked out. I think that I had an impact on his libido by doing that. I was all of 19 years old and didn't know any better.  A week later, I was signed up for college.

 A lesbian who outranked me put her hand on my knee. I told her that she would draw back a bloody stump. She apologized profusely. She was not a bad person, just confused about my definite malebeanism*.

The same person informed me that a Major wanted me to know that he was highly regretful for asking me at the Officer's Club why he couldn't get no leg when my boyfriend could.

I told him: "Well, YOU are not my BOYFRIEND!"

Shit!

Every time I step on a natural piece of the Earth, my heart aches over the ancient women who walked in that place. Who was bought, sold, raped, beaten, killed, tortured, whacked upside the head. 

Every time I watch today's snuff porn lite where women are kidnapped, tortured in lasting ways, then killed and thrown out like garbage, my heart aches.

Every time I think about the apparent collusion of an entire county of officials, college officials and a monster in the  sickening case of little boys being raped, my heart aches. I hate football now.  I hate that a single game was not being forfieted in order to show support, shame and remorse.

Every time I think about my own ancestors, bought, sold, boiled alive, mulitated and raped with no hope of anyone relieving their suffering, my heart aches?

My harrassment? Come on. You are not going to get any trauma calls from me. Yeah, it bothers me. Sometimes it eats me up. But life's a bitch and then we die.

Other people are suffering vastly more. Children are suffering vastly more. Men and women are suffering vastly more than I can comprehend right now.

I thank God every day that I came out the kind of woman, living in this nation and society, who will take a chunk of someone who harrasses me and that I and many others will be better off because of it. 

What gives me the greatest upset and worry is that we will allow the Republicans to take us back to a world where anything goes and women will have to kill or be killed.  

"Traditional" roles for women. Being told that those roles are my only route to pleasing God and having eternal life.

That's my nightmare. That's my trauma. 

*Malebeanism: When a woman digs men so much that, if she had been born a male, she would have been gay.  It's all about the Schwang, doiiiiing....wank-danka-dank dank, you know.