Yee hah! Here we go with one more set of predictions for the coming year.

The year of 2012 will have surprises galore, including technological marvels, astonishing right wing Tea Party stupidity, and corruption like we never knew!

Let's go....

January

Someone will get a new HTC Thunderbolt, which has an 8 MP camera and could power up the whole neighborhood with free wi-fi.  The device will be obsolete as soon as Apple comes out with the 8.1 MP camera that will  be obsolete before it hits the stores because Samsung will have an 8.2 MP camera.

Apple will come out with the iInject. It will come with a choice of turkey baster, urethra scope, or ear piercing device.  Simply use the $50 coupon for medically supervised installation. Then prepare to do the Elvis lip and take those photos!

February

Someone will give a 55 minute talk about being Martin Luther King's neighbor.

Herman Cain will still not know where Uzbekistan is.

Syria will erupt...no, that's happened already...Egypt...no...

Mississippi will erupt in anti government protest after a Monkey is is sworn in as governor.

March

Archeologists will discover that an Azteca splinter group actually predicted something else for 2012. The evidence will bear a close resemblence to ancient fortune cookie slips.

The face of Jesus will be found on 342 objects, mostly food items from Mexican restaurants and McDonalds.

Ron Paul will back into a hot iron that will be wielded by a crazed, pregnant housewife.

Cable companies will continue to install refurbished tv boxes, resulting in scenes like this:

 http://www.youtube.com/user/xenonlit?feature=mhee

 Xenonlit will figure out how to do videos here again.

May

April will be cancelled because of the fifteenth national budget standoff. 

The "Eye Phone" will be released. This microscopic phone will be inserted behind the cornea and hooked up to a molar. 

Scientists will fire up the Whole Beam, a new device that will find the elusive megapixel particle. Tens of people will cheer the discovery.

Bongo drums will become wildly popular. Everyone will have mini bongo drums on their keychains and necklaces. 

June

3D zombie movies will be a theatrical hit until real 3D zombies burst through theater screens all over the world.  These will not be zombies, however. They will be occupation protesters who are after people's eye phones and bongo drums.

 The breakthrough Broadway musical: "George and Condoleeza" will shut down after three days.  It will be replaced by "Boody Call", which will be a sure Tony contender.

A major oil spill will happen on the set of the Desperate Housewives reunion show after a technician tips over the vat of cooking oil that will be used to oil  up the wives.

People all over the world will screw their brains out.

July

Those lying Azteca! They were some ancient Chinese pranksters...it's the same guys who will play the big mall prank in Houston in January....

The apocalypse is going to happen in 2012! In fact, here it comes right now....

Muscat wine from Louisiana

It is over.