Thousands of writers flounced their butts away from a lot of content mills last year. This was because certain sites were not working as they should have done. We checked in from time to time only to get the mop, the low views, the low pay or the low down.
Google whacks a site with the axe. You can't build a site out of tongue depressors and Elmer's Glue.
Today, the nexus of nonsense; the poopah of pooh; the regulator of instigation is flouncing. Yes, Tinkertink is flouncing today and I celebrate his career! No one has exploited the keyword "Butt" as he has. No one has threatened everything from our way of life to his many versions of himself through his many accounts here like Tink has done.
No one does a one man dustup like Tink. R. Tink. We will miss him like we miss butt boils.
He was born Tink Ratbutt Tinkerson on July 3, 1935. His kennel sold him to an elderly lady who loved to eat fried kitten on a bed of macaroni and cheese. An observant and nauseated neighbor intercepted the delivery and took young Tink into her home. He thrived there, completing his studies and graduating with honors in matriculation.
But it was his ability to matriculate that made his career escalate. He left his hometown for an acting job in Duluth, Minnesota. There, he starred in such memorable hits as "My heart turned into Haggis", and "Maple, Maple, Maple!"
He caught the eye of Hollywood producer, Dick N. Stein, who saw a porn star in our Tink R. Tink. But his career ended in disaster when he was paired with Ron Jeremy. Tink figured that being impaled by Count Dracula would be preferable to dealing with Mr. Jeremy's sizable appendage.
Tink, never one to give up, went on to instant success in choreography. He worked on Spike Lee's showstopping number "Doin' Da Butt" from the hit film, School Daze.
His success bored him and he left Hollywood for a quiet career as an online writer. He was hired by Open Saloon as resident butt meister and dustup coordinator. We all remember him for his memorable creations, including Dr. Mamie, Most of Nigeria, and slkfiysxyirls, the streaming video mogul. They all fought like Spartans who had a snoot full of bath salts, bringing joy and laughter to our screens.
Now, he moves on to greater fame and fortune, perhaps to write his autobiography or to eat yellow snow. Whatever you do, we salute you, Tink R. Tink and we wish you great fortune and plenty of Preparation H.
F.I.P. Tink R. Tink
See you tomorrow!