Millenial Text Dumping: The Unfortunate Standard

Thu, 2 Jul 2009 12:07:15 -0400

I’m fairly certain that it isn’t just my notion as a psychologist, but also as an ordinary human being, that texting has caused many of us to lose basic confrontation skills. It’s not uncommon to dump a boyfriend or girlfriend, or even announce divorce, via text. It’s in our nature to avoid confrontation particularly a personal one. Inevitably this promotes social immaturity and a lack of responsibility regarding the promises we make and the value of the person we make them to.

What if you were not given the courtesy of a face to face dumping? It used to be (not that long ago, c’mon, it was only 10 years ago that not everyone you knew had a cell phone) that a “dump by phone” was considered a massive insult. And that you, the dumpee, couldn’t believe the total disregard for the relationship and the need to be so “cold” leaving to question, “did I really know this person?” and “wow I could I be so way off?”.

Somehow we culturally by-passed the acceptability of phone dumping, straight to email dumping and moved right onto the acceptability of text dumping. No consolation from the dumper, no “last chance” dinner, no last kiss, no verbal sign off and no closure whatsoever. These dumpings are not just short-term relationships or friends with benefits but long-standing relationships and marriages!

Have you ever been text dumped? Have you ever text dumped someone? Is it that easy to blow someone off you’ve shared intimate conversations, sex or years with? Yes, relationships end but can’t we at least be civil and show some sense of empathy and morality toward one another. There are certainly people most of us at one time in our life have said, “what was I thinking” but it does make that person’s feelings less important and at some point in our own lives their is someone thinking the same about us. Humility, Humility, Humility.
“Make it an Excuse Free Day!” Dr. Leslie.

Question from Twitter: How to Motivate a Lazy Teenager

Wed, 1 Jul 2009 22:07:29 -0400

I was recently asked on Twitter how to motivate a lazy teenager. I will keep my answer short and direct. They live in your house and therefore follow your rules. When they live in their own house that they pay for, they can then make their own rules. Until that day comes, it’s best to follow the classic sentiment, “forget about it”. Compromise comes only when you are addressed respectfully and they conduct their own behavior appropriately. Otherwise, they have to live by your parenting bill of rights.

If they want their TV, cell phone, internet, iPod, car, and all other niceties that you may allow them, they must operate under your direction. They must do their chores, get a part-time job, or do both in order to pay for their monthly bills generated by the aforementioned goods and services. Take it all away until they earn it. You lose your power when you argue or repeat your request and/or demand over and over. You only need to tell them once, then the second time becomes their warning. If there is no response, and no action from the teenager then YOU take immediate action. At this point, there will not be any further discussion.

They’ll act out at first. You’ll hear the tell-tale slam of their bedroom door, yelling or a tantrum but they will quickly change when they realize that you are indeed serious. Kids want structure. They lose respect for you when you do not provide structure and rules. They may protest, but in the end they are thankful that you care.

Have an Excuse Free day!

Dr. Leslie

Dr Leslie Seppinni's Open Salon Blog

Millenial Text Dumping: The Unfortunate Standard

Question from Twitter: How to Motivate a Lazy Teenager