Ablonde's Open Salon Blog

SKC - First Asparagus of Spring ---- By Ablonde Chef

Tue, 9 Mar 2010 18:03:09 -0500

There are so many wonderful ways to cook and eat asparagus, surely an entire book could easily be devoted to this tasty harbinger of spring. I'd been eating it all my life, but had never seen it in it's natural state till I went away to school. The college I attended had been built relatively recently on active farmland, evidenced by the apples each fall and the appearance of asparagus each spring in the fields that were part of our campus. As college students who cooked our own meals we were always looking to save money (more for beer!) and so we foraged the now fallow (but not really) fields for free vegetables! A patch of straw or dead grasses might even reveal white asparagus, an especially desirable treasure if only because of it's relative scarcity.

If you want to try growing asparagus you will need some patience, it takes about three years for a patch to begin producing well. You can grow it from seeds (cheap and slow) or purchase mature "crowns"(expensive and fast). Your patience will be well rewarded as this perennial (and self seeding) lily will produce for fifteen years or more.

Asparagus can grow more than a foot in one day!

Select asparagus with firm, intact and closed tips. Many people believe that "thick" asparagus will lack the tenderness of the pencil thin ones but I don't. The thicker asparagus can be just as delicate, more of a function of freshness and the variety grown than the diameter of the stalk.

If your asparagus has traveled far, chances are the base of the stems are woody and may even retain some of the sand or soil they were grown in. Bend a stalk slowly till it breaks, the point at which it snaps is where the good part of the asparagus begins. If your bunch is of various thicknesses it may be desirable to peel the thicker ones with a vegetable peeler to make them uniform. Peeling the bottom half of the asparagus can often help to remove the more fibrous bits if your asparagus is long out of the soil. Personally I find it unnecessary if it is very fresh. If you are not going to be cooking all of the asparagus you bought immediately, trim off the ends and place in a glass with a few inches of water and keep in the fridge. This will maintain freshness for many days if you keep changing the water, and re-trim the bottoms if they appear shriveled.

Really fresh asparagus is perfectly delicious raw, but if I were serving a crudite platter and using thicker asparagus, I advise you to briefly blanch them.

There are many ways of cooking asparagus and they all have their advantages. I prefer to blanch my asparagus first, no matter how I choose to finish its cooking. I plunge them into boiling water for a few minutes, preferably using a tall sided saute pan, then into ice water (even better add a few drops of lemon juice). The skinnier they are, the less you need to cook them. Keep them in the fridge till everything else you're serving is nearly ready. Not only does this fix their brilliant green color but it makes the final cooking very fast and controllable.

Later I may choose to eat them cold, saute in melted butter (or olive oil) to heat up and then serve with some traditional Hollandaise, or a simple pat of butter and squeeze of lemon and some cracked pepper.

Grilling asparagus has become a favorite of mine, the added nuance of carmelization gives them an extra zing, and is particularly suited to the rustic Italian style of food that I prefer. Blanch first (unless you have pencil thin ones), marinate in some olive, requisite lemon juice, and whatever else you care to toss in, and onto the grill they go. TIP: To prevent the asparagus from falling between the grates of your grill T-bone three or four spears at a time with a bamboo skewer - it really helps and makes them easy to turn too.

After the final grilling (or sauteing) they can be served hot, room temperature, or even cold. They can be dressed with a wide variety of sauces, or nothing at all.

My favorite dressing? Surprise, it's Italian! Please try it even if you "think" you don't care for anchovies. You will be shocked how delicious this will taste and be converted.

Chop a few cloves of garlic

half a tin of anchovies (or more)

juice of one average lemon

glugs of fine quality olive oil

a tablespoon, more or less of butter

Parmigiano Reggiano (parmesan cheese, the good stuff) shave it with a vegetable peeler or use the large size on a box grater

Saute the garlic slowly in butter, as it begins to brown add a few glugs of olive oil then add the anchovies, stir and mash them up with a wooden spoon. The anchovies will begin to "melt." Being careful not to burn the garlic. Add lemon juice and let it simmer a minute or two adding more olive oil if necessary. Pour over asparagus and sprinkle with Parmigiano.

I like to garnish with thin slices of lemon like in the picture above. Remember, this is delicious hot, room temperature or cold. If you're serving it cold have the dressing at room temperature.

Just in case you were wondering, the smelly pee that many experience turns out to be a genetic thing. Apparently about half of the general population makes stinky urine after eating asparagus, and another percentage possess a gene that allows them to smell it. So you may produce smelly pee and not be able to smell it yourself, not be able to produce stinky smell and not smell stinky pee, be able to smell stinky pee in others but not produce it yourself OR be able to smell it and produce it. Scientists don't have a definitive answer, but stinky pee pee is probably linked to something called methyl mercaptan (same thing that makes skunks stink), and the presence (or not) of certain enzymes in our gut that break down the asparagus.

Off to the market where I intend on buying some -- you guessed it --- asparagus.

Inspired by iamsurly: What do guys call theirs?

Sat, 27 Feb 2010 18:02:05 -0500

After reading Iamsurly's latest post: Words I do not understand: vajayjay, my thoughts naturally turned to male genitalia and the many names I have heard for "it" over the years. The standards like Dick, cock, johnson, Mr. Happy, lingam for the Kama Sutra crowd and willie, all came (ahem) immediately to mind. Surely there are many more, guys won't you share?

So men, in the interest of greater understanding between the sexes I'd like to know about your penis.

What do you call yours, and why?

Do you have a favorite name for your appendage? More than one?

How old were you when you started referring to your member as if it were a person? Unlike female genitalia, penises often seem to visibly have a mind of their own, don't they? Often behaving independently of the body to which they are attached, not frequently the penis gets the blame for wrongdoings. Have you ever blamed your penis for a wrongdoing?

They have a "head" which implies an extra cranium, but it lacks a brain, doesn't it? Then again there is the oft repeated phrase (or excuse depending on how you look at it) that he was "thinking with his dick." Does that mean there is an actual thought process happening "down there?"

And while I'm at it, here's one more question that has been bothering me: why is fellatio called" giving head" if you already have one (or two).

The following clip I happened to catch this morning on a weekly highbrow show which I shall not name, and well, it seems to suit this post and I hope you find it as funny as I did. Funny is in short supply right now.

Sexy Favorites for Valentine's Day

Fri, 12 Feb 2010 20:02:34 -0500

Sexy Music:

Wild is the Wind makes my toes curl, how about you? I love Bowie's version but Nina Simone's is stunning too. Which do you prefer?

Bowie?

Or Nina?

And then there is music, in a time and place that in some form of cosmic serendipity transforms the mundane and the ordinary into a moment that will last forever. One night, in a seedy redneck sort of bar, so dicey that when a regular wanted another beer he simply leaned over the bar and bellowed, "yo bitch," one night I had one of the most singularly romantic experiences of my life. I was with a bunch of college friends and we thought it good fun to go to this tavern regularly because the beer was cheap, the juke box was good and the pool tables decent. We were college kids but not the preppy sort, sort of anti-prep if you know what I mean.

This particular night had been great fun, and soon it would be time to head home. I felt him grab my hand and lead me to the little dance floor just as I recognized the strains of Elvis Presley. Steven was a tall thin, artistic theater arts guy, brilliant and dressed in black most of time but wore cream colored dinner jackets on special occasions. He held me in his arms and we slowly danced to the sound of Elvis, and as we danced Steven sang all the words to me, whispering in my ear. Those moments in that seedy, smoky bar were, improbably but incredibly romantic, and the memory of his voice and his swaying body sweetly holding mine will remain with me, brought to the forefront of memory whenever I hear Elvis Presley sing this song:

Sexy Movie Scenes:

This particular scene from the original Thomas Crowne Affair (1968) with Steve McQueen and Faye Dunaway sizzles. I've never thought of chess the same way again, and when McQueen says, "lets play a different game," well, there's no question about what he has in mind. Hot, hot, hot.

I'll probably get a lot of flack for this scene from the Thorn Birds, but too bad. It's a little on the cheesey side and of course there is serious co-opting of From Here to Eternity, but I just love it when the gorgeous Rachel Ward tells off her errant priest, "Ralph, no more!" but of course she is about to get a LOT more.

Occasionally in film a moment is captured that is so full of truth, beautiful, awful, agonizing truth. It's rare but when you see it you never forget it. For me such a moment is the reunion at the train station in the movie Reds. Diane Keaton's performance is unforgettable. Interesting that in a tribute to Warren Beatty she named this scene as her "favorite few minutes of anything I've done on film." She went on, "its the memory of the kind of love I never imagined possible. On that train station in Spain, it was the sweet anguish of love when I saw your face." As they embrace, finally reunited, Beatty says simply, "don't leave me, please don't leave me," and breaks my heart, every time I see this film.

Bonus:

FOR DR. SPUDMAN 44

DIDO

BONUS SELECTION

Good News Sunday - Lorenzo the Flying Frenchman

Sun, 7 Feb 2010 13:02:15 -0500

Lorenzo:

The Flying Frenchman

The wind of heaven is that which blows between a horse's ears. ~Arabian Proverb

Lorenzo is from the Camargue area of France, a marshland flanking the shores of the Mediterranean between two arms of the Rhone River, and heavily influenced by its neighbor to the west, Spain. It is an area of great beauty and the horse is an integral part of its heritage.

Lorenzo is a man who has taken horsemanship to a level I never dreamed existed. He performs with his beautiful Lusitano horses all over the world. Even if you are not a horse lover, the beauty and breathtaking stunts leave one speechless.

Lorenzo's horses often perform for him without use of a bridle or other tack, his commands communicated through subtle body language. Occasionally he performs with silk threads in place of reins. The stunts for which he is most famous for, standing upon a pair of grays, and commanding an entire team while jumping over and negotiating obstacles in thrilling style, this technique has it's roots in Hungarian dressage.

Lorenzo's horses are Lusitanos, an ancient Portugese breed that is closely related to the Andalusian, having both evolved on the Iberian peninsula. The famous horses known as Lipizzaners are from the Iberian Peninsula. Until the 1960s Andalusians and Lusitanos were considered as one, though there have always been discernible differences between breeding lines they are officially now two separate breeds. They are known for their solid muscling, beautiful animated gaits, agility, and outstanding intelligence. Today Lusitanos are often seen in mounted bullfights, and their performance there, so esteemed by fans and participants has been a large factor in continuing to breed the characteristics this majestic animal is famous for.

I have been riding horses most of my life. I have been a professional rider and trainer and have been lucky to ride fine horses in many areas of the world. Many of the wonderful horses that I have been fortunate to ride have been gifted athletes but there are a few that I will never forget, so very special were they. Occasionally with one of these horses I experienced brief, pure moments of communication between us that I can only describe as magical. There were no barriers between us. It would seem that I need only think of what I wanted my horse to do and it would happen. So, in a very small way (very, very small) I understand what must be going on between Lorenzo and his beautiful Lusitanos. There is a deep psychic connection between him and these animals, and to watch him is nothing short of breathtaking.

When I bestride him, I soar, I am a hawk: he trots the air; the earth sings when he touches it; the basest horn of his hoof is more musical than the pipe of Hermes. ~William Shakespeare, Henry V

Visit Lorenzo's Web Site

Bag Balm: Secrets Revealed, Art James is On the Mark

Mon, 1 Feb 2010 00:02:51 -0500

Just in case you missed it:

Sticky, smelly Bag Balm: Problem-salving for all

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By JOHN CURRAN, Associated Press Writer – Sun Jan 31, 10:51 am ET

LYNDONVILLE, Vt. – Winter is most definitely here. It must be. The phones are ringing at Bag Balm headquarters.

Everyone wants a new tub of the gooey, yellow-green ointment. And all have a story about its problem-salving — they use it on squeaky bed springs, psoriasis, dry facial skin, cracked fingers, burns, zits, diaper rash, saddle sores, sunburn, pruned trees, rifles, shell casings,bed sores and radiation burns.

Everything, it seems, except for cows.

"Some, you don't really even want to hear, but they're gonna tell you anyway," said accounts manager Krystina McMorrow, who is half the office staff.

"I've been here 14 years," said accounts-receivable clerk Shawna Wilkerson, the other half. "The oddest one I've heard was somebody who reloads his ammunition. He puts Bag Balm on the bullet casing and it makes it easier to reload 'em."

Developed in 1899 to soothe the irritated udders of milking cows, the substance with the mild medicinal odor has evolved into a medicine chest must-have, with as many uses as Elmer's glue.

According to Bag Balm lore, the stuff went from barns to bedrooms when dairy farmers' wives noticed how smooth their spouses' fingers were after using it on cows' udders. The wives were jealous.

Bag Balm went to the North Pole with Admiral Byrd, to Allied troops in World War II, who used it to keep weapons from corroding, to Ground Zero for the paws of cadaver-sniffing dogs searching the World Trade Center rubble, and to troops in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Sold off pet care shelves and at farm stores for $8.99 per 10-oz. green tub (with cow's head on the lid), it's made of petrolatum, lanolin and an antiseptic, 8-hydroxyquinoline sulfate — substantially the same formula used since John L. Norris bought it from a Wells River druggist before the turn of the century.

It is made in a one-room "plant" by the family owned Dairy Association Co., Inc. — six employees, two officers and no sales force — operating in a cluster of converted railroad buildings in this small (pop. 1,215) northern Vermont town.

Petrolatum is shoveled from 50-gallon drums into a large vat and blended with lanolin from Uruguay, then heated to 95 degrees. A machine quickly squirts the goop into metal cans that are cooled, capped and packaged.

The plant is inspected annually by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration, though the product is marketed for use by animals, not humans.

Distributed by wholesalers and sold retail in farm stores, national drugstore chains and general stores, its popularity has grown largely with word-of-mouth advertising as converts becomes users and then devotees.

Imitators through the years have included Udderly Smooth Udder Cream and Udder Balm.

The Dairy Association won't divulge sales figures.

In a 1983 report, the late CBS News journalist Charles Kuralt said upward of 400,000 units were shipped annually. Norris' granddaughter, company President Barbara Norris Allen, won't say how today's shipments compare.

"The colder the weather, the better our business," said Ron Bean, production manager at the plant, which is open for tours but not photographers.

To call the operation old-fashioned is an understatement.

The plant operates with one shift, Monday through Friday. The Dairy Association doesn't take credit cards ("Send us a good ol' check," says Allen). And the names of individual stores that buy directly are kept on index cards in file cabinets.

Long-distance bicyclist Andy Claflin says he started using Bag Balm on a cross-country race last June, when a teammate turned him on to it for saddle sores.

Claflin, 37, from Dayton, Minn., was suffering from saddle sores as he competed in the Race Across America. A teammate told him it was good for the sores, a bane of long-distance biking. So he slathered some on, down below.

"I was sitting there in Arizona, it's 110 degrees, the air conditioning wasn't working, the crapper in the RV wasn't working, I gotta' bike 100 miles in this heat and great, I've got to deal with this," he said. "It was nasty and filthy and it felt weird ... But I didn't have saddle sores from then on, riding 130 miles a day. When you're on the bike, you're like 'Oh, this stuff is great.'"

Marge Boyle, 62, a quilter in Paducah, Ky., keeps a tin by her sewing machine.

"It's really a wonderful product when you're sewing, because of all the pinpricks you get. It soothes and heals your fingers. Quilters are always pricking their fingers. We wash our hands constantly to keep them free of dirt, and you need something to soothe them," she said.

And it's still de rigeur in barns, where it all started.

Dairy farmer Willie Ryan has used it since the '70s, to soothe the chapped teats of cows. And more.

"The cows get frostbit sometime, so we use the Bag Balm," said Ryan, 60, of Craftsbury, Vt. "Any open wound with swelling, you just put some of that in and put a pack bandage on it and it does wonders. Don't ask me how, but it does," he said.

For all its myriad uses, there's one place its makers say never to use it.

"Never put Bag Balm in your hair, because you will not get it out," said Wilkerson.