.http://open.salon.com/user.php?uid=3191Fri, 1 Jun 2012 11:06:01 -0400<a name="b">&nbsp;</a><br><br>The <a href="http://spellingbee.com/">National Spelling Bee</a>, that is. On <a href="https://twitter.com/#!/scrippsbee">Twitter</a>. On <a href="http://www.facebook.com/scrippsnationalspellingbee">Facebook</a>. Or on <a href="http://spellingbee.com/media#schedule">ESPN, Thursday, May 31, 8pm EDT</a>. [5pm here in Phoenix.] Or in <a href="http://www.9TimeZones.com/nsb.htm">my fevered memory</a>. Or on a DVD:<br /><a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0000WN13Q/thescreenwrightr"><img src="http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0000WN13Q.01.MZZZZZZZ.jpg" width=110 height=160 alt="Spellbound"></a><a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/B000G1R394/thescreenwrightr"><img src="http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B000G1R394.01.MZZZZZZZ.jpg" width=106 height=160 alt="Akeelah and the Bee"></a><a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/B000E6ES8U/thescreenwrightr"><img src="http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B000E6ES8U.01.MZZZZZZZ.jpg" width=117 height=160 alt="Bee Season"></a><br /><a title="June 1964: Dad/Mom/Nerd/Rep. Brad Morse (R-MA)/Flag" href="http://www.9TimeZones.com/nsb.htm"><img src="http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/4448_90769632476_500547476_2348799_6833114_n.jpg" width=473 height=604 alt="June 1964: Dad/Mom/Nerd/Rep. Brad Morse (R-MA)/Flag" border=2></a><br /><br /><b>Top 3 suggestions for improving the Bee:</b><br />3. Outside: more tailgate parties, so the spectators can get properly liquored up.<br />2. Inside: more half-naked fat guys in the audience, with painted faces and chests.<br />1. During: more obscenities shouted at the contestants, more booing the ref.<br /><br /><b>Update: </b>Use <a href="http://www.georgecarlin.com/dirty/2443.html">George Carlin's Dirty Word Lists</a>!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6548454-1864398312766545553?l=s.9timezones.com' alt='' /></div>http://open.salon.com/blog/alan_c_baird/2012/05/24/follow_the_bee_againhttp://open.salon.com/blog/alan_c_baird/2012/05/24/follow_the_bee_againThu, 24 May 2012 18:05:36 -0400<br><br>—<a href="http://www.facebook.com/priscilla">Priscilla Chan</a> to <a href="http://www.facebook.com/zuck">Mark Zuckerberg</a>, late 2011.<br /><br />[May 19, 2012: <a href="http://www.buzzfeed.com/acbaird/id-never-marry-a-guy-worth-less-than-19b-664g">"Dang. I thought that would keep him at bay for awhile longer."</a>]<br /><br /><a href="http://www.buzzfeed.com/acbaird/id-never-marry-a-guy-worth-less-than-19b-664g"><img src="http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/web05/2012/5/20/5/enhanced-buzz-8552-1337505359-5.jpg" width=478 height=269 alt="Zuck" border=2></a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-facebook-ipo.eps-20120518,0,631221.graphic">Facebook's first trading day</a> [Zuckerberg worth $19.25B @ close] (L.A. Times)<br /><br /><a href="http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/technology/2012/05/mark-zuckerberg-marries-priscilla-chan/">Mark Zuckerberg Marries Priscilla Chan</a> (ABC News)<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6548454-7667035729836391820?l=s.9timezones.com' alt='' /></div>http://open.salon.com/blog/alan_c_baird/2012/05/20/id_never_marry_a_guy_worth_less_than_19bhttp://open.salon.com/blog/alan_c_baird/2012/05/20/id_never_marry_a_guy_worth_less_than_19bSun, 20 May 2012 05:05:36 -0400<a name="t">&nbsp;</a><br><br>"Eat your heart out, Oedipus." [<a href="http://www.time.com/time/covers/0,16641,20120521,00.html">TIME cover</a>] [<a href="http://www.buzzfeed.com/acbaird/time-breastfeeding-cover-the-kids-thoughts-664g">BuzzFeed</a>]<br /><br /><a href="http://www.buzzfeed.com/acbaird/time-breastfeeding-cover-the-kids-thoughts-664g"><img src="http://9timezones.com/time.jpg" width=554 height=456 alt="TIME cover" border=2></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6548454-8573174029044615055?l=s.9timezones.com' alt='' /></div>http://open.salon.com/blog/alan_c_baird/2012/05/12/time_breastfeeding_cover_the_kids_thoughtshttp://open.salon.com/blog/alan_c_baird/2012/05/12/time_breastfeeding_cover_the_kids_thoughtsSat, 12 May 2012 07:05:59 -0400<br><br>Hot dog vendor: "You want one or two?"<br /><br />Buddha: "Make me one with everything."<br />Nilsson: "One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do."<br />Highlander: "There can be only one."<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6548454-8353680463240243969?l=s.9timezones.com' alt='' /></div>http://open.salon.com/blog/alan_c_baird/2012/04/22/hot_dawghttp://open.salon.com/blog/alan_c_baird/2012/04/22/hot_dawgSun, 22 Apr 2012 06:04:29 -0400<br><br>Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, "Wow! What a ride!"<br /><br />--Dr. Hunter S. Thompson<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6548454-4026027179358046240?l=s.9timezones.com' alt='' /></div>http://open.salon.com/blog/alan_c_baird/2012/04/14/hunter_on_lifehttp://open.salon.com/blog/alan_c_baird/2012/04/14/hunter_on_lifeSat, 14 Apr 2012 04:04:32 -0400