AustinCynic's Open Salon Blog

On Crassus, or why there are things the gov't SHOULD do

Thu, 8 Sep 2011 12:09:05 -0400

We seem to be in an era where there are exactly two solutions to every problem facing this country: tax cuts and privatization. With the pall of area fires hanging in the air, the stench befouling an otherwise beautiful day, I can't help but think of Marcus Licinius Crassus.

Crassus may be one of the most famous Romans you never heard of. He has become something of a footnote in history, remembered--if he is remembered at all--as the third member of the First Triumvirate, the informal committee that ruled Rome in the 50s BCE. Crassus served with the much more famous Julius Caesar and Gnaeus Pompey.

And yet it was Crassus who made Caesar's career by bailing him out of debt. And he could bail Caesar out of debt because he was the richest man in Rome. In fact, he's one of the richest men who ever lived in any era of western history. Well and good, but what has that to do with privatization in the 21st century? Plenty, dear reader, plenty. Because it is the WAY Crassus got so fantastically rich that is relevant for us today. You see, Rome had no public firefighters. So Crassus set up his own private brigade.

What you need to understand is that Rome in this time was incredibly densely populated. Historians estimate that in Crassus's lifetime, at the end of the Republican era, the city probably had around a million inhabitants and was quite probably the largest city in the world. And much of that population was crammed into apartment buildings, called insulae. To call them tenement slums would be generous; with no building or safety codes they were prone to collapse. And fire. And because these insulae were crowded together, a fire in one spread quickly. Rome was devastated by fire several times in its ancient history.

So you might be thinking, "Well good for old Crassus. What a civic-minded guy he was." But he wasn't, really. You see, Crassus made a lot of his wealth by buying up buildings threatened by fire. His fire brigade would stand by and do nothing until the owner of the threatened buildings agreed to sell for the Roman equivalent of pennies on the dollar. Crassus knew, of course, that the building owners knew very well they would get nothing if the building burned down completely (no insurance). Crassus could then later sell or lease the buildings at an enormous profit once the fires were out.

This, my friends, is the true face of privatization. Do you really think that if we relied on the private sector to take care of policework or fire control, someone just like Crassus wouldn't come along? If you don't, you are far more optimistic than I am!

Memories of East Berlin

Tue, 19 Oct 2010 20:10:58 -0400

(All images are my own)

I pride myself on being slow to take offense. I go to church on a regular basis (not as regularly as I should lately, but that's another post), but irreverence doesn't bother me much, for instance. I have a pretty low sense of humor when you come right down to it. Still, I have my "buttons": cruelty, rank hypocrisy and glaring ignorance being three biggies. Joe Miller, Alaska Senate candidate extraordinaire, hit two out of three (and I'm giving the benefit of the doubt on cruelty) thanks to his brute squad and praise of East Germany so breathtakingly stupid it easily exceeds anything Christine O'Donnell has said. Including her statements on the First Amendment. Namely, Miller held up the former German Democratic Republic as a model for border security.

The first question I had was...did Joe Miller ever visit East Germany? Because I did.

In the summer of 1989, I was privileged to spend a summer in the German city of Krefeld as part of the Indiana University Honors Program in Foreign Language. It is a thriving program that gives language students the opportunity to gain fluency in German, French or Spanish in a total immersion program. My German is rusty these days but the fact I can still speak and understand it at all is probably largely due to that summer.

For the German group, the culmination of our summer was a trip to Berlin. Germany--and Berlin--were still divided. If we'd told our host families or teachers, or other friends we'd made over the summer, that before the year was over that the Wall would fall and the East German government would effectively collapse, they would have told us Du spinnst. You're nuts.

We travelled to Berlin by bus. Krefeld is on the Rhine, so we drove across the Federal Republic to cross the border just east of Hannover. I can't show you a picture of that border crossing. We were told, in no uncertain terms, to not even have our cameras out. In theory, we could have been detained for espionage. More likely, our cameras would have been confiscated. But the image of that border is still vivid, even over two decades later: loop upon endless loop of barbed wire; large watchtowers every half mile or so; jack-like tank traps. God only knows what destructiveness lurked under the soil. The two most powerful military machines in human history were staring each other down, and I and my classmates had a front row seat for the time it took to clear the border.

Once in Berlin there were more checkpoints, of course. We visited Checkpoint Charlie. Nearby was a platform that would let you see across the no-man's land dividing the two halves of Berlin. Potsdamer Platz is now a bustling center of culture and commerce--as it was before the city was divided. When I saw it, it looked like this:

This is what Joe Miller, and those who would his approve his comments, would have the U.S. - Mexico border look like.

And you know what? The Berlin Wall and those massive fortifications couldn't keep people in. Did the majority of East Germans stay? Sure they did. The majority of people just try to get along. But there was a museum at Checkpoint Charlie dedicated to the ingenuity of those who defeated that security that Joe Miller sees as a model. Here's a BMW Isetta, which smuggled a number of people through the Wall driving from east to west and back again. The Isetta is probably the size of a SMART car, possibly even a little smaller. So small it was thought impossible to hide a person in. In fact, the car's career ended when someone being smuggled sneezed at the wrong moment:

The other thing I noticed about East Berlin in the day we spent there was how drab it looked. Some buildings still showed damage from World War II. You couldn't get more than two scoops of ice cream and the cola you got was this dreadful, nearly undrinkable stuff because the GDR couldn't import cola syrup. I know the command economy had a lot to do with this, but don't think the enormous expense of keeping a sealed border didn't play a big role too. We've beggared ourselves enough with two wars over the last decade; we don't need to add to it by trying to copy a Stalinist security apparatus.

We can not uphold our constitution--as the Tea Party wants us to do--and at the same time emulate dictatorial regimes like that of the German Democratic Republic or, as Newt Gingrich suggested during the height of the Park52 nonsense, Saudi Arabia. The rights and freedoms entailed by that marvelous document have costs. One of them being that we do not have a militarized border with Mexico. Whatever problems there may be with our border security, East Germany is not a model for solving them.

My Favorite British T.V. Pilots

Sun, 3 Oct 2010 13:10:55 -0400

Salon TV critic Matt Zoller Seitz has given us his "Ten Best" lists for American t.v. comedies and dramas over the last couple weeks. He mentioned he'd do non-U.S. shows. Well Matt, consider this one vote of interest, and a list of shows to consider should you decide to tackle it. I've intentionally labeled this a "favorite" list rather than a "best" because I'm limiting myself to shows I've personally seen (which is a tacit admission that I haven't gotten around to watching great series like The Prisoner, The Avengers or Father Ted yet) but whose pilot episodes do a particularly good job setting up the premise of the series and the character dynamics. So, in no particular order, I give you:

Monty Python's Flying Circus

"And now for something completely different," and indeed it was. The very first episode was titled "Owl Stretching Time" (actually an alternate title for the series) but no owls were stretched. Instead, we have John Cleese as Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, introducing history's great deaths; Terry Jones as an Italian teacher with a class of native Italians; and the "pepper pot women" extolling the virtues of Whizzo Butter, which tastes the same as a dead crab. Any modern sketch comedy owes at least something to Monty Python.

A Bit of Fry and Laurie

Best known in the U.S. for dramatic roles, Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie became known in the U.K. for comedy. They each had starring roles in several series of Blackadder (Fry as Lord Melchett in series 2 and General Melchett in series 4, Laurie as Prince George in series 3 and Lt. George in series 4) before teaming up as a sketch comedy duo for four series between 1989 and 1996. The pilot episode for A Bit of Fry and Laurie aired in 1987 set the tone for what would follow: sketches very reminiscent of Monty Python, often with a left-leaning political edge--one dealt with the privatization of the police-- with Fry playing the straight man to Laurie's off the wall goofballs. Two continuing characters, obnoxious businessmen Gordon and Stewart, were introduced. The comedic high point is probably Laurie's performance of the song "Mystery."

The Vicar of Dibley

Richard Curtis is one of those screenwriters who just astonishes me. He has an amazing range--on t.v. he's written everything from Blackadder to the excellent episode "Vincent and the Doctor" from the most recent series of Doctor Who. When you add film credits such as Four Weddings and a Funeral, Notting Hill and Love, Actually you have a resume that almost defies belief. Any one of those credits would be a career for most people.

When he created The Vicar of Dibley in 1994, the Anglican Church had just approved women priests, so the concept of woman vicar taking over a village church was very relevant. In the first episode, the Rev. Pottle, the ancient vicar of Dibley's small village church, dies mid-service and the bishop sends a replacement: Geraldine Granger (played by the great Dawn French). The head of the village council, played by Gary Waldhorn, is horrified. Thus begins a battle of wits that would last for 19 more episodes over 13 years, aided by a gang of loveable village idiots. In true Richard Curtis fashion, the laughs are mixed with often poignant moments and the show has a definite social conscience.

Doctor Who

It's hard to believe, but this mainstay of PBS and BBC America will celebrate its 50th anniversary in November 2013. And it has had, arguably, not one but three pilot episodes over its lifetime. The very first, An Unearthly Child, aired on November 23, 1963. If the story itself, which featured the Doctor and his companions traveling back to Stone Age Earth, was somewhat forgettable, it established elements still used by the series today: the TARDIS, the Doctor's time machine, which looks like a blue police phone box and is much bigger on the inside; the Doctor, a centuries-old alien who is often impatient with humans; and the fact that TARDIS doesn't actually work very well. The series' first run continued for 26 seasons, with 6 different actors playing the role originated by William Hartnell.

In 2005, Russell Davies was given the job of reviving the series. There was an abortive attempt to bring back Doctor Who in the 1990s to run on both the BBC and Fox in the U.S. and which featured Eighth Doctor Paul McGann's only appearance. Davies cast Christopher Eccleston as the Ninth Doctor; his first appearance, in the episode "Rose," brought back all the elements introduced in 1963 but even from the beginning took them in a direction the classic series never dared. Especially in the palpable sexual tension between the new Doctor and his companion, Rose Tyler, played by Billie Piper. "Rose" pulled off a difficult task very well--updating an established mythology while at the same time staying true to it.

Torchwood

A spinoff of the new Doctor Who, the pilot episode of Torchwood is probably one of the better spinoff pilots I've seen. The spinoff is always difficult; you have to both engage fans who already know your main character, while placing him or her in a new situation that will enable new fans to come on board. Frasier did this particularly well on American t.v. and so did Torchwood. The main character is Captain Jack Harkness (John Barrowman), introduced in the Doctor Who episode "The Empty Child" (itself a masterpiece of television horror) as a rogue Time Agent from the 52nd century who ends up helping Earth prepare for its coming initial contacts with alien species. The first episode re-introduces Capt. Jack and his team, along with point-of-view character Gwen Cooper (Eve Myles), a Cardiff policewoman who meets Jack and his team at a murder scene. The first episode also introduces what would be a recurring theme throughout Torchwood's run (three series so far, with a fourth set to run on Starz next year): the mental toll the job takes and the seductiveness of the alien technology the team must keep out of civilian hands.

Skins

Ensembles are the hardest scripts to write (I've tried, and the results are best forgotten), and I think as a viewer the hardest series to do well. The payoffs when done correctly are enormous. Skins is probably the least well-known of my list to American audiences, but it is well worth seeking out because I don't think any other series anywhere does such a great job honestly portraying the lives of teens.

Though the almost completely turned over after the end of series 2, the first episode set up the basic premise, which has not changed: following the lives of a group of British teens nearing the end of the U.K. equivalent of high school, as they prepare for their exit exams and what must come after. Each episode centers around a different character; the pilot had Tony (played by About a Boy's Nicholas Hoult in a starkly different role) in a plot that saw him try to get his virgin best friend Sid laid, not to mention score pot for a party. We're introduced in turn to the rest of the cast, not to mention recurring supporting characters, such as the memorably named pot dealer Madison "Mad" Twatter. Though Hoult is clearly intended to be, perhaps, the first among equals in the ensemble, I would argue that the true breakout star of the cast of series 1 and 2 is Dev Patel, who plays conflicted Muslim teen Anwar. Patel would go on to much greater stardom in Slumdog Millionaire and The Last Airbender.

One Person's Boondoggle...

Tue, 7 Sep 2010 14:09:02 -0400

Let me say at the outset, I love where I work: DogBoy's Dog Ranch in Pflugerville, Texas. My employer does boarding, day care and training for dogs (and much more), so even though I sit at the desk and answer phones and emails I get to meet many great dogs and their owners. Plus, my own dogs get to come and play while I work--a great fringe benefit.

Recently, my employers installed solar panels on the roof of one of the kennel buildings as part of some other capital improvements. Thanks to these beauties and Austin's typical 300 days of sunshine per year, we're already seeing a real benefit: this summer the panels have been supplying about a third of our energy needs in the three buildings hooked up to them. In the spring, before we had to start running the air conditioning, they were supplying up to two-thirds of our total energy used. All this was made possible by subsidies from the county and federal governments that made solar panels an affordable option for small business owners like my employers.

Predictably, however, the comments thread was filled with people who insist on living in a fantasy world where the government doesn't pay for anything (except the programs that directly benefit them, of course), and any subsidies such as the one my employers and numerous Austin businesses took advantage of is all part of Obama's Evil Socialist Agenda.

You're mad your taxes are going to a boondoggle? Fine. But think beyond your narrow world view, if you can and consider the ripple effects from just one subsidy. Because of these solar panels and the money they save in our electric bill, my employers will hopefully not have to cut hours so severely. That means those of us working at DogBoy's will have more money in our pockets. We can buy the food and clothing we need, maybe go out on a date night occasionally and, yes, pay our taxes. If the people who employ me don't have to lay me off, that means your taxes don't have to support me, my wife and child on a government assistance program, and I don't have to collect unemployment insurance.

Additionally, I can continue to pay for preschool for my son. The church that runs the school will then use that revenue to sustain the school and perhaps other social outreach programs depending on their finances. My wife and I can continue to afford the woman who watches our son the one day a week not covered by a flexible schedule or preschool, not to mention the woman we have clean our townhouse once a month in lieu of premium cable.

I am just one of about 20 employees at DogBoy's, each casting their own economic ripples. And DogBoy's is just one of many Austin businesses who took advantage of these subsidies. Not to mention the business throughout Texas and the country. The multiplier effect of such relatively small grants as this is just one of the reasons why I can't buy into belief that big government is somehow the source of all our problems.

One person's boondoggle is another person's lifeline. And just remember: even if you never set foot in a business with solar panels, you still reap the benefits.

The Real Legacy of This Day

Sat, 28 Aug 2010 14:08:23 -0400

Most of you reading this won't know who Fr. Jim Williams is, which is truly a shame. At St. Matthew's Episcopal Church, my church home in Austin, he is one of the "retired" clergy. I put retired in quotes because Jim's been a pretty busy fellow. He's also one of my heroes.

One of my most deeply-held beliefs is that if you proclaim to be a follower of the teachings of Christ, you must do your best to live those teachings. Furthermore, a commitment to social justice and helping those less fortunate is a value that transcends religion. I have known people of good will who are Christian, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, Hindu and atheist; all of them honor the commandment to care for the widow and orphan. Fr. Jim is one of my heroes because not only because he is a great exemplar of these values, but because his life is a testimony to them.

I am writing this note because, as we observe the 47th anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King's historic March on Washington, many are upset and offended because Glenn Beck is having a rally on the Mall this day. I am mentioning Rev. Williams specifically in this context because he was there. He is the one person I know personally who was a living witness to that day. Moreover, Jim--as an American Baptist minister in those days--helped plant one of the first integrated churches in Beaumont, Texas. Such a thing would have been dangerous for anyone; I imagine for a white Baptist minister in Texas at the height of the Civil Rights struggle, it is a risk I cannot imagine.

So, this weekend in particular, I salute Rev. Jim Williams, and I salute the many thousands who drew strength from Dr. King's words and inspiration from them, and in so doing changed--and continue to change--our society for the better. And I would be completely remiss if I didn't also salute a forgotten hero of the March: Bayard Rustin, the gay black man who organized it. Despite the fact that he'd been forced out of the leadership of the movement because of his sexual orientation. Because of such people, nothing Glenn Beck will do Saturday will in anyway diminish the meaning of the event that took place 47 years ago.

Hear Fr. Williams speak of his involvement in the civil rights movement here.

For an added bonus, listen to the late Jean Shepherd's radio essay on the March from 1963.