Betsy Robinson's Open Salon Blog

In Defense of No Marriage

Thu, 17 May 2012 13:05:41 -0400

"I've just concluded that for me, personally, it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that I think same-sex couples should be able to get married," said President Barack Obama in an interview.

Well, that does it. He has finally gone over the line, which forces me, an ordinary person, to finally inject some sanity into this ridiculous discussion. Look in the mirror, people. Do you see a couple? No, you see a person. A single person, defined by the Free Dictionary as a living human. Not two. You see one living body of one human—unless of course you happen to have a conjoined twin, in which case I sincerely apologize for my generalization, and I assure you I did not mean to imply any diminishment of your rights as two humans, but really I doubt that is relevant, because, if you are conjoined, you are most likely siblings and therefore not liable to marry each other, and therefore excluded—no offense intended—from the topic at hand. But I’m getting off the point.

The point is, this is a free country, people, where everybody is supposed to have equal chances to exist, and married couples are given unfair advantages over us single people in everything from taxes to government jobs, and I for one have had it! It should not be allowed.

I’m not a religious person, but I give them kudos for taking on this marriage thing. I just think they haven’t gone far enough. After all, Christianity defines a person as “any of the three separate individualities of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit”—all of whom are male, so therefore women are not persons and should not be allowed to marry male persons any more than we should be encouraging interspecies couplings.

And speaking of “couples,” physicists define them as “a pair of equal and opposite parallel forces that have a tendency to produce rotation with a torque or turning moment equal to the product of either force and the perpendicular distance between them.” And I ask you: does that sound like a healthy basis for a legal relationship that allows joint filing of bankruptcy when the single guy down the street who got laid off at the same time has to do it all alone? I mean really!

Enough of this nonsense. No more legal marriage is the only sane answer. If you want to have a big, expensive party and invite all your friends and get lots of free stuff that, ten years down the road, you’ll only haggle over or sell or throw at each other once the divorce talks start, fine. Do it. Call it whatever you choose, as defined by any dictionary or church or science. You have my blessing. But why on earth should you get legal benefits over those of us who opt to pay our own way?

For goodness sake, I voted for the guy, but, Obama, you have disappointed me for the last time. Equal rights means no more marriage for anybody! Get it together, people. For goodness sakes, THINK!

What I Learned from a Dead Body ... and Gil Hedley

Tue, 27 Dec 2011 10:12:02 -0500

1. Did you know that your heart has arms and legs? It does. The heart that we see in medical shows when a surgeon is saving somebody’s life is only part of the organ. The entire heart has long tendrils like tree branches that go down each arm and each leg. Imagine how amazing it would be if you could walk down the street looking at everybody through special X-ray–vision glasses that singled out the heart!

2. Super models are freaks of nature because, according to poet/anatomist/teacher/author/ethicist/renaissance man Gil Hedley, “our bodies are not symmetrical. Not even close.” They’re full of surprises and anomalies—like the most perfectly formed little ovary that looked like a miniature brain … in an 83-year-old woman who had donated her body so that people like us could learn something and maybe wake up a little.

3. It’s a well-known fact that New York pigeons smoke—you see them poking around sidewalks filled with butts, so who else could have dropped them? And lest you judge them harshly for stinking up the environment, just take another look—really look: See that pigeon taking off for the sky, tail feathers down, beak up, effortlessly defying our human body limitations and looking like a grey angel. I know this to be true because Gil Hedley showed slides of pigeons, both pre-smoking and frozen in flight, in his recent New York City intensive (which seemed to be over in about five minutes—blink, it’s eight hours later—really) at the Cantor Film Center, where about 120 of us packed into a tiny theater and were riveted, laughing, and grateful for what was really an indescribable experience of learning who we are through a mosaic of lecture, stories, slides, little movies, art, poetry, and Gil, Gil, Gil—who, in the course of a day, managed to gently and reverentially shatter all inhibitions, shame, judgments, and biases we humans walked in with.

OK, enough about the intensive, since I can’t really describe what happened … but if you want the experience of being gently shattered, having your judgments replaced with curiosity, and maybe coming home to stand stark naked in front of a mirror to say, “Hello, I’d like to get to know you, and thank you” to your body for maybe the first time in your life, then take a look at Gil’s workshop schedule, and if he’s within driving distance, for goodness sake, drive!

What I really meant to write about when I started this blog was Gil’s new book of free verse, Beyond the Leaving. Much like the aforementioned intensive, I cannot really tell you what happens in this little book. It’s only 86 pages, but it took me a month to read them. Why? Because they, too, reverentially shatter, move, take your breath away. Unlike Gil’s last book, Coming Into Form, which sometimes echoes of Rumi, Beyond the Leaving has no models. Like his workshop, it doesn’t copy anybody, doesn’t sound like anybody else, but is a spontaneous flow from this particular heart with arms and legs named Gil Hedley. It is the product of somebody who has investigated the heart, the body, life, and death and found that there are no separations between any of these things.

If you can’t get to a workshop, if you don’t want to investigate who you are by seeing into another’s dead body, if this whole thing is just not your thing or too hard or … whatever, then just read this. (Take it away, Gil):

Your body

is a holy book,

a scripture~

the pages

of your flesh

are marked

in exquisite detail

with the finest hand,

inscribed by spirit

with the poetry

of love,

lessons of mercy,

miracles,

angelic hosts,

and the story

of your life

perfectly told,

an illuminated manuscript

of a sacred writing

epic in scope,

majesty

and grace.

Every hair

on your head

and line on your face,

every rushing tide

of wind and wave

moving you

from within

this living testament

bear witness

to the truth

layered

within you~

Study this text

with conviction then,

reflect with care

upon its meaning,

and enjoy

the divine

inspiration.

—Gil Hedley, Beyond the Leaving

Opportunity of a Lifetime!

Sun, 18 Dec 2011 16:12:35 -0500

Do not answer this job ad unless you read entire posting

in its entirety!

Are you a strong, driven Type A personality who can do whatever it takes to get the job done?

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Are you a team player with a good attitude, ample enthusiasm, and superhero stamina to support and fetch coffee for your team of senior managers to get the job done?

If you can answer “yes!” to these questions; if you can remain cool, yet aggressively humble with an entrepreneurial undertone in the midst of a fast-paced, exciting new start-up, then please respond with a succinct letter in no more than one hundred forty characters explaining why we should hire you.

No attached résumés! Instead, paste your one-page C.V. and grade point average into the body of an email with the subject line: Opportunity of a Lifetime! And to prove that you read this entire posting, end your email with the code word “Razzberry”—responses with typos will be automatically deleted.

Thank you for your interest in our company, but unfortunately, due to the overwhelming response to recent job listings, our H.R. dept. has instituted a policy of only contacting respondents they are interested in.

· This is a full-time job.
· Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
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Addicted to Confusion and Fear?

Fri, 28 Oct 2011 11:10:59 -0400

There's a new link to an excerpt from my book Conversations with Mom: An Aging Baby Boomer, in Need of an Elder, Writes to Her Dead Mother. It has to do with being addicted to confusion and fear. Enjoy:

"Confusion & Addiction"

Book Excerpt/DownrightFiction.com

Mon, 17 Oct 2011 15:10:45 -0400

Excerpt from Conversations with Mom: An Aging Baby Boomer, in Need of an Elder, Writes to Her Dead Mother (my new book) is on a site called Downright Fiction.

The excerpt is about that damned “Law of Attraction” theory as well as other stuff.

Re DownrightFiction site: “Downright Fiction is a platform for independent thinkers, dreamers, inventors, and believers of personal style and spirit. It’s that medium where you get away with being yourself, on your own terms.”

Enjoy.