Blue Roses's Open Salon Blog

Campaignabury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer

Sat, 29 Oct 2011 16:10:36 -0400

Portraits of the Pilgrims, 2012

"The reader should be aware of these subtle ironic statements which are often made in paradoxical situations."

Time: October/2011

Place: The Tabard Inn on the Campaign Trail

The Narrator: Chaucer portrays Pilgrims

The Knight: MITT ROMNEY

Perfect and genteel man who loved freedom, chivalry and honor. The most socially prominent person on the journey; the battles he fought were all religious wars of some nature.

Manager of large estates. Shrewd, businesslike, capable. A large landowner with wealth, but not of noble birth. Red face and no beard; enjoys good living; generally feared, but liked, by the other pilgrims.

Yeoman: JOHN HUNTSMAN

Dressed in green; an expert woodsman, an excellent shot with the bow/ arrow. Speaks Chinese.

Yeoman

Prioress: MICHELLE BACHMANN

The Prioress

Madame Eglantine; a gentle lady; well-educated though her French wasn't accepted Parisian French. Coy and delicate; Flailing and submissive.

Monk: NEWT GINGRICH

The Monk

A lover of jewelry, fine foods; dressed in fine clothes. Favorite food was a roasted swan. No other monk is more worldly than he is. When the monk says that he doesn't approve of the solitary prayerful existence in a monastery, Chaucer pretends to be convinced that the Monk's argument is right. His love of the worldly goods, food, and pleasure, and his dislike of the quiet monastery contradict his religious vows.

Squire: RICK PERRY

The Squire

A wanton and merry man. Chaucer says there was no better man than the Friary Squire when it comes to the practice of his profession. Always able to get money from people (thru every vicious and immoral method). The best of his type--scoundrel. Cunning, though unlettered; cheating the well-educated lawyers by putting aside a tidy little sum for himself.

Merchant: DONALD TRUMP

Rich and powerful; shrewd; knew how to bargain; well-dressed. No one would tell he was deeply in debt.

Clerk: RON PAUL

The Reeve

Student at Oxford; extremely thin on a thin horse; threadbare clothes; quiet; a real scholar. A skinny man/ bad temper; ride last (in the back)--suspicious, trusting nobody. Next to the knight, he is one of the most admired people on the pilgrimage.

Miller/Shipman: CHRIS CHRISTIE

The Miller

A huge man, uncouth; a master of vessel and knew all the ports; does not ride well; like a fish out of water as he sat on his horse. A big brawny man to outwrestle any man/ even a ram. Short shouldered, broad and thick set; a wart on his nose from which bristly hairs protruded made him look fearful. Played the bagpipes as the pilgrims left the town.

The Doctor of Physic: HERMAN CAIN

Doctor of Physic

A candidate for knighthood; a lover who can sing lusty songs, compose melodies, poetry. Knows astronomy (astrology) and something of nature, but nothing of the Bible. Made a lot of money during the plague; loves gold and stuffed crust.

Wife of Bath: THE HALF GOVERNOR

a bit deaf and exceedingly daft; born feigner and web-weaver with aggressive feminism; in fancy/colorful clothes: scarlet red stockings; amorous; a laugh and [a] joke.

Wife of Bath

Parson: RICK SANTORUM

Poor, but rich in holy thoughts and works; lives the perfect life first and then preaches it. Amid the worldly clerics and the false and superficial religious adherents, the poor parson stands out as the ideal portrait of what a parish priest should be.

The Parson

Plowman: TIM PAWLENTY

A small tenant farmer, but the ideal Christian man; honest with neighbors; paid his tithes and dues.

Summoner: RUSH LIMBAUGH

The Summoner

Ugly: fire-red complexion, pimples and boils, a scaly infection around the eyebrows, and a moth-eaten beard; loves garlic, onions, leeks, and strong wine; speaks Latin to show off. His physical appearance fits his profession well since he is paid to summon sinners for a trial before his court. He is so gruesome looking that a summon from him is in itself a horrible experience. Chaucer ironically implies that he is a good fellow because sinners could easily bribe him.

Pardoner: THEO CRAT

A church official who had authority from Rome to sell pardon and indulgence to those charged with sins. Hypocrite, phony, ugly but in fashionable clothes--loud, high-pitched voice, greed, big eyes, yellow hair, beardless (a "gelding or a mare"); sings and preaches so as to frighten everyone into buying pardons at a great price.

The Host: BARACK OBAMA

Barry Bailey; a merry man suggests to tell stories to shorten the long journey--two tales on the campaign and tales of woe on the way back; the man who told his story best was to be given a sumptuous dinner by the other members of the party--

http://www.eng.fju.edu.tw/iacd_99F/medieval_lit/data/Chaucer.html

SWEDISH COFFEE

Tue, 4 Oct 2011 10:10:23 -0400

I promise this is about Coffee, but from my little corner of the universe, it's impossible to talk about without the inclusion of eggs and their shells.

Using the whole egg takes coffee-brewing to another level which results in a very smoothe cuppa joe. The flavor is enhanced, the texture clear and the rancidity nonexistent.

Every time I throw away a perfectly good egg shell, I cringe and swear that I will try to do better. Usually, the broken shells go right back in the container to dry out. Sometimes, when I'm organized and energetic, I crumble them in a freezer baggie.

Aside and off the caffeine trail: Eggshells placed in flower beds deter crawling critters which attempt to devour my blooming plants.

For fear of being labeled a Garden Terrorist instead of a Recycling Environmentalist, I will not describe what those sharp edges do to slugs, rolly-polly bugs, worms, and other pests of the garden variety. All I know is that if I'm diligent, they never make it to my buds, leaves or blooms.

Egg shells, on the other hand, make it to my coffee every day.

SWEDISH COFFEE:

In a small bowl, combine 1 slightly beaten egg (reserve shell) and 2/3 cup of ground coffee. If you want it stronger, increase the grounds to one cup.

Add 1/2 cup of cold water; blend well. Stir in crumbled egg shell.

Add to 8 cups of boiling water. Heat and stir over high heat until foam disappears, about 4 minutes. I used one of those, now rare and hard to find, Corningware percolators sans inside parts.

Remove from heat; cover; let settle about 7 to 10 minutes. Serve clear coffee off the top or strain through a fine or lined mesh strainer or coffee filter.

SHORT CUT: Simply crumble 1/2 an egg shell into dry coffee grounds, before perking. Place the other 1/2 of the shell (not crumbled) in the bottom of the pot to float as the water pours through using a Mr. Coffee-type pot.

If you use this method, there's no need to strain it. It's surely not as delectable as going the full egg-route, but it'll do... and does in my coffee pot every day. Enjoy

A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked. — Bernard Meltzer

Dismantling of the Federal Government

Fri, 16 Sep 2011 01:09:35 -0400

So far, based on statements made in the debates, interviews and publications, these are what the GOP candidates oppose, want to repeal, reduce to zero, want to privatize or nullify. On Day One.

The more they talk or write, the more this list grows. Daily.

You decide.

Federal Student Aid

The Estate Tax

Capital Gains Tax

The Power of Federal Courts

The Department of Interior

The Department of Commerce

The United States Post Office

$1 Dollar Bill

Urban and Housing Development

DADT

National Labor Relations Board

The Department of Energy

Environmental Protection Agency

The New Deal

Department of Education

Social Security

FEMA

The Public School System

Medicare

The Federal Reserve

DOMA

The Dodd–Frank Wall Street Reform and Consumer Protection Act (financial regulatory reform)

Affordable Healthcare Act aka ObamaCare

Planned Parenthood

Roe v Wade

Voter Registration

The Commerce Clause in the Constitution

1st Amendment to the Constitution

14th Amendment to the Constitution

15th Amendment to the Constitution

16th Amendment to the Constitution

Election of Senators

Voters rights for non property owners

Voters rights for non income tax payers

Global Warming is not the fault of humans

Evolution

All federal mandates

Minimum Wage

Capital Gains Tax

Free and reduced meals in public schools

Tax rates for Corporations

Nullify the Federal regulatory agencies:

Nullification of the Food and Drug Administration

Nullification of the DEA

Nullification of the Department of Agriculture

Postscript:

"This tactic of inducing public distrust of government is not only cynical, it is schizophrenic. For people who profess to revere the Constitution, it is strange that they so caustically denigrate the very federal government that is the material expression of the principles embodied in that document."

"Goodbye to All That: Reflections of a GOP Operative Who Left the Cult"

by: Mike Lofgren, Truthout | News Analysis

A candid letter from Your Local School District

Sat, 13 Aug 2011 23:08:17 -0400

BREAKING: Coming to a district near you! Watch for it.

At this time of year, it’s customary for many school districts to send parents a Back-to-School letter. These letters typically express excitement about the upcoming school year; tout campus renovations and technology upgrades; and provide a list of classroom supplies. This year, that letter probably will read a little differently.

Andy Welch offers the following as the appropriate message for parents to hear this year. Welch recently retired as communication director for the Austin Independent School District. He previously worked as a reporter at the State Capitol, and as a communication officer for both the Texas Department of Agriculture and the State Comptroller of Public Accounts

Dear Parents:

We would like to tell you that we are excited about the start of the upcoming school year. But that would not be entirely true.

This past summer, the Texas Legislature cut $4 billion in overall funding for public education, and the impact will be felt in classrooms across the state. Regardless, we pledge to provide your child with the best education possible, in a clean, safe school.

This will be a challenge in a state that previously ranked 44th in funding for public education, and is now likely to fall even lower among the 50 states.

You should know how budget cuts are likely to affect your child’s education:

~~ Statewide there will be fewer teachers. Some teachers were laid-off; others retired, and we eliminated their positions; other teaching vacancies were simply left empty, to save money. This will mean larger class sizes and fewer academic options, especially at the high school grades.

~~ The focus on the new high-stakes STAAR accountability test will likely mean that we’ll try to find savings in subjects that will not be tested, so expect to have fewer art and music teachers, especially at the elementary grades.

~~ While state leaders like to tout Texas’ potential in a global economy, our ability to provide students who can speak German, French, Japanese, Chinese, and other foreign languages, will be diminished. We simply can’t afford to hire the teachers.

~ To continue with an effectively full-day pre-kindergarten program, some districts will now be charging tuition, based upon a family’s ability to pay.

~~ Because of rising transportation costs, many field trips for culturally-enriched art and music programs will be cancelled. [One district will be charging $180.00 per child per year for bus-riding privileges]

~~ School maintenance is not protected from budget cuts. So, if your scout troop or service club is looking for a project, please contact your child’s principal. They, undoubtedly, will have a ‘to do’ list of projects that we don’t have the money to tackle.

~~ Higher food prices and utility costs are causing many of us to increase cafeteria meals by 5-10 cents. Still, it’s nutritious food, and is the only balanced meal that many students receive daily.

~~ For those of us without artificial turf in stadiums, we’ve done our best to keep athletic fields watered this summer, despite the drought. That’s not because we want them to be lush, but because if they are nothing but rock-hard patches of dirt, our young athletes are at greater risk of injury.

~~ Speaking of athletics, some of us are moving into the era of “pay to play,” in which athletes and band members may be required to pay a fee to participate. We recognize that these fees will present a hardship for many of our students, especially those from low-income families. [An Ohio district has cancelled its entire football program for the year due to low student participatio]

We would like to think these financial challenges are temporary. We would like to think that, when it convenes in 2013, the Texas Legislature will restore the funding it cut. However, we are placing greater faith in the courts. For four decades, our lawmakers have balked at adequately funding public education, until forced to do so by threat of lawsuit.

Only a handful of us, so far, have chosen to go to voters — who are cash-strapped as well — asking for more revenue through a Tax Ratification Election. The rest of us will cut corners, and dip further into reserve funds, hoping it doesn’t adversely affect our bond ratings.

We know that these are difficult economic times for most Texas families. These are also tough times for Texas schools. Nonetheless, you have our pledge that we will do our best to provide the academic support that your child needs to succeed. In return, we hope that you will continue to support us.

Sincerely,

Your Local Texas School District

http://blog.chron.com/texaspolitics/2011/08/a-more-candid-letter-for-school-parents/

If it dies, it dies.

Mon, 20 Jun 2011 20:06:25 -0400

A LETTER TO MY YARD, PLANTS, POND and GARDEN:

I'm tired of watering.

I've had it with this unrelenting and oppressive heat. It does no good whatsoever because the ground is too parched. Even if it does, the damn pill bugs and ants, and now crickets and grasshoppers...thrive on your leaves, stems and roots.

You were supposed to be my Prized Vegetable Garden, remember?

Yeah, that means you, Squash. And you, Cucumbers. If only the two of you could just TRY to emulate the jalapeños. Look how they produce! Can't pick those beautiful, green peppers fast enough. Like the daylilies and blue plumbago and asparagus ferns, they have no earthly idea that so much around them is scorched and struggling to survive.

Plumbago

You, too, POND. Sit there and stagnate. I'm tired of watering you, too, only to watch SUN and WIND lap up your depth as soon as I turn off the hose, day after day after day. Something got the goldfish long ago and the only things left are rosy minnows and a baby water snake who will have them for lunch as soon as I go inside.

I'm tired of watering.

It's entirely too hot and I'm not cut out to be a farmer, anyway.

If it dies, it dies. That's what I've said for the past three, Feels-Like 108 degree days, but I still play "Drag the Hose" day in and day out. Every day. Twice a day. Sometimes, three.

You KNOW I think it's a sin to sweat, but your faded and down-turned leaves cry out. I've watched the old growth trees that stand 20 feet from a tidal bayou, die, leaf by leaf. Even the crêpe myrtles are scorched.

You are slowly becoming one, big, giant match-stick.

I might change my mind, though, and if I do...you can thank the TOMATOES. Two of them turned pink today.....

Hotflash: RAIN, who has been en absentia since March, has no empathy nor does it feel rejection. Like an errant and miscreant child, RAIN seems to have forgotten its roots. It fell in love with New England and refuses to come home.

I can hear those displaced droplets mocking me from here: If it dies, it dies.