BuffyW's Open Salon Blog

A Year of Us.

Sat, 5 May 2012 22:05:21 -0400

Yesterday was our first anniversary. A year ago on an equally beautiful day you drove from Los Angeles and I from Ojai to meet in Ventura for a 4 p.m. appointment. Our wedding. I remember the day as if it were yesterday, and in the scheme of things it was.

What to wear to marry you? Did I get something new? No, I chose a suit I had in my closet and pinned on a tiny gold hummingbird which had belonged to my mother. We told nobody outside of your mother and my father. We felt old enough, mature enough, and so sure of ourselves to do this alone, no invited witnesses, no big church wedding, no stressing people over what to give us for a wedding present. All we wanted, needed was each other.

A year later it is still all we want and need. We are so fortunate to have found love again at this time in our lives. We knew what we wanted, love, laughter, a sense of shared memories, and a partner through tough times and good times. We both knew how precious life is, how each moment should be lived as though it is our last. We never know when it will be, and the joy of being in your arms, your mere presence is a gift. I know you feel that way too.

I chose you to be my "last" lover. This sense of having control over my own happiness is not in the least overrated. These past 63 years have shown us some good and bad people and experiences, teaching us lessons we never thought we would need to learn. From those we have were able to find ourselves and the few people we want to be with, whether it is family or friends old or new.

Often we say how incredibly lucky we are, because in spite of the things we could complain about the cream of "us" always rises to the top. It skims the surface of our lives, pushing down problems to give us the sweet escape of each other. The joy of us. Nothing is better, and I appreciate how lucky we are to have found each other in this troubled world. Within the muck and joy of life we are truly each other's island of happiness. Thank you baby for showing me how much goodness is left. We are indeed very lucky!

More than a Daydream

Fri, 13 Apr 2012 17:04:53 -0400

Long time no see! I have been on my honeymoon, and have put about 9,000+ miles under my belt while doing so. (Not to mention some incredible meals and unbelievable honeymoon activities.)

We took a cruise to the South Pacific. To be exact we travelled to the Hawaiian Islands first, then Fanning Island, The Cook Islands, French Polynesia and The Marquesas Islands before returning to California. Whew!

I think since most of you know Hawaii I'll just include a photo and a painting. Then I will take you on a photo tour of the South Pacific I had never been to, and yes, it was everything you dream of and then some.**

There is a whale breaking the surface just in front of the closest boat. Maui.

Maui as I saw it.

Where were you on St. Patrick's Day? I was at the end of the arrow.

Approaching Fanning Island.

The tender awaiting it's turn to fill up and head to Fanning Island.

Fanning Island was a step back into time. Having no electricity means none of the conveninces we know in modern life. No grocery stores, no offices, no streets (much less street lights), no doctors, no dentists for the 1,300 people who live there. Their whole existence is on a piece of land 11 miles long and 7 miles wide. Los Angeles is 3,357 miles away and Honolulu is 1210 miles away. It is very remote, and you will feel it immediately.

Their main source of income is from seaweed farms and the next would be selling shell trinkets to the occassional cruiseship. The Japan Tsunami did about 40% damage to their farms, so the cruiseline decided to ask the passengers to contribute. Personally we bought colored pencils, erasers, pencil sharpeners and paper to give to the tiny school. It was on their "want" list. Being an artist I was happy to shop for them on our last stop in Hawaii.

It was very eye opening. It makes me more aware of how we in the rest of the (so-called civilized) world obsess on the unimportant things.

Next up was crossing the equator. If you have never done it before they dub you a "slimey pollywog" and conduct an elaborate ceremony with King Neptune for all of the first time ship employees who are crossing. Bottom line is they get slimed (tinted egg whites) and have to kiss a huge dead fish. The passengers are treated to the spectacle and receive written proclamations of their crossing. (You also get a certificate for crossing the international date line which is a different day and you do it twice.)

Look closely and to the left of the guy in green pants is a huge fish being kissed, Seated far left is Neptune.

Just one of numerous sunsets in the South Pacific.

Then we were headed to Raitea, Cook Islands. The first glimpse of the downtown was amazing. The tender ride in was smooth and the promise of our first black pearls loomed.

An beautiful beach in Raitea.

The view from the ship of "downtown".

A car in the garage downtown.

Ps-s-s-st, wanna buy a Tahitian Pearl?

The weather was hot and muggy. At first the sun hid behind thick, wet clouds, but after welcoming showers the sun came screaming out, the kind sunglasses could barely tone down.

We sought out a place to eat some food other than what we had on the ship, and found a bustling restaurant where some of the greatest looking food to come out of a kitchen proved just as tasty. The name was deceiving, The Salsa Cafe. I drew it naturally.

**All photos and drawings by Sheila.

Next we were off to Bora Bora, but that will have to be in Part II.

Ain't Life Grand!

Wed, 8 Feb 2012 11:02:49 -0500

The Circle of Life

Tue, 24 Jan 2012 12:01:49 -0500

Me at age 7 in Athens, Greece.

Being unemployed. These words resonate with me…not like they did when I was a young woman, when life lay before you and jobs were plentiful, especially when you had youth, beauty and common sense to count as skills. Ironically the more things change the more they stay the same. Looking at this photo I found of me, I see resignation in my face.

Now, as I approach 64 I find myself trying to write a resignation letter I am being forced to do by court order.

I owned my own business for 12 years or so before closing it down when the economy began it’s downward spiral. This was in February of 2009. It was an estate jewelry business, the one thing I found which stimulated my senses. I was quite good at it. The beauty and appreciation of gems and jewelry captivated me as well as so many people in the 90’s. Life was prosperous for so many of us. Then one day not one piece of the jewelry sold. Just like that people's disposable income meant no more frivolous purchases. I understood it immediately because after less than a year my own circumstances were different. My husband had undergone open-heart surgery, I no longer had time on my hands to fill buying jewelry for others to enjoy. Life had grown very comfortable, then suddenly it changed…and with those changes I needed to give up my business.

By August of 2009 my husband was dead. I was now not a housewife either. Double unemployment it seemed to me. I found myself without a business nor the income my husband brought home. What to do? Unfortunately, though we had made written provisions for our future, those plans were found unsigned, a testament to my husband’s denial of his illness.

It was then I became President of our company. Somebody had to do it. So for the past 2 ½ years I have run the company with his brother as a paid consultant.

One thing led to another, negotiations with the mother’s attorney were at a stalemate over the division of property and finally two days before Christmas (this last year) a judge signed the papers finally releasing me from probate. This is where I am now, being forced to resign as president of the company, losing not just my paycheck but also the health benefits I was told by my husband's family I’d never lose.

I will collect Social Security, and hope it can continue. Obama’s Cobra Plan can cover me if I decide I can afford to pay the premiums now. As I learned when I took over the company, you are at the mercy of insurance companies. I remember when I was going from an insured dependent of my husband to being President of our company, by stepping into his place as Estate Administrator and wife, the insurance company made me wait three months to be covered as the employee…even though the only real change had been to drop Lance off of the policy and I stepped into his place. I had to pay more than $1,200 a month out of my own pocket to remain covered. That was very painful to do, especially when I was completely unsure how I would pay it. But pay I did from the salary I took.

I did make a good salary, enough to pay the bills while I sorted out what had been in the control of my husband. I should have paid more attention than I did, it was very complicated. The company will be owned by another now (his brother will run it) and part of the agreement is that I step down. I have learned a great deal from the past few years, some things I never wanted to know about family, and other things opened my eyes in other ways, to the good in people. All in all it was a wonderful, painful experience, and yet it is over. Finally.

I tried to be mindful of this day’s inevitable arrival by selling some of my art in the form of postcards. I probably break even with my costs, though it has afforded me the opportunity to explore doing more and to be generous with the art I do. I really do it because I love doing it, not to get rich. I have been saving much of my salary, fixing up my home as I could in preparation for my retirement. I wish I could say it wasn’t, but in reality with my health in question and my age, where do I look for a job…and would I even be hirable?

On top of this is the fact my son is going to be released from prison in March. He will have served 2 1/2 years. Time flies, or does it? I have been so wrapped up in the probate, my health issues, a new marriage, home-improvements … for him I’m sure it seemed the past few years have been long. Oddly enough we both were in different kinds of prisons…his bound by walls of concrete, mine bound by paperwork and flesh. He thinks of the day he is released and all that will face him. I’ve been waiting for an opportunity to be released also, our dates with different courts, yet eerily the same. Now I find myself having to prepare him for life on the outside where he will be like everyone else, expected to go on job interviews, pay rent, buy groceries, keep a car and gas and insurance…aaarrrrrrgggggghhhh. I'm having a child again when I can barely keep myself going. He begins his life anew at 45, again with nothing except what I can provide him. The circle of life begins again.

Happy Birthday FusunA!

Thu, 12 Jan 2012 11:01:51 -0500

Happy Birthday FusunA!!!