charismakitty's Open Salon Blog

Healthy New Year!

Sun, 3 Jan 2010 01:01:52 -0500

That's my new motto! This is going to be my healthy new year. It will not be another 365 days gone and nothing accomplished come 2011. I'm not making any weight loss resolutions. That's right! No weight loss-related resolutions. Mind you, I am making resolutions, but they won't be about weight loss or my health. No, my health is just going to be an everyday concern, an everyday thing. It shouldn't be a resolution...not for me.

I do have goals, but I don't like to think of those as resolutions. Mainly I say this because I had already started working on my health before the beginning of 2010. Anyway, I think people should always be thinking about their health and not just at the start of each new year. I know I haven't always thought about my health in a good way, but I have always thought about it.

OK, so in the last post, I had four goals:

1. Keep a daily food journal.

2. Cut out sodas and juices and sweet tea sweetened with anything other than splenda.

3. Plan ahead if I'm going to eat out.

4. Drink more water.

Well, so far I have been working on goal number four. I'm doing better than I expected with it, too. Sure, you might think I'm being a wuss by starting with possibly the easiest of the goals, but it's sometimes the hardest for a lot of people. Or so I have heard. I've yet to achieve goal number two, but I am slowly cutting back.

Tonight, when I stopped at McDonald's for the usual Bacon Ranch salad with crispy chicken (for which I am still getting an extra pack of ranch dressing - bad, bad!), I got a large Coke. However, I also ordered a bottled water. See! Improvement! Normally I would order a soft drink and then buy another one at work out of the vending machine halfway through my shift. By ordering my bottled water in advance, I saved myself from any temptations I could possibly have later while standing in front of that machine and debating soda or water.

Side note: I think the water buttons on drink machines should really be at the top of the choice list instead of at the bottom. I want my healthy choices to be easy to access! I know it won't hurt me to bend over and expel that extra bit of energy, but it's just like with vending machines - the worst goodies are always right in the middle and the healthiest stuff is always at the bottom. Most people are generally looking at the middle, aren't they? I mean I don't know about you, but that's where my eyeballs usually point first.

Back to the Coke thing. I know, I know - I shouldn't have ordered it, but it's hard going cold turkey! It isnt' the caffeine that I crave, it's the sugar! I don't eat sweets that often, but I thirst for sugary drinks all the time. Don't worry, I am not diabetic, and I've been tested several times. I just have an unhealthy appetite for unnaturally sweet liquids. I especially favor the icy cold ones in glass bottles. Oh gees, this is going to be a hard habit to break.

Let's move on before I drown in my mouth water.

I'm still working on all my goals simultaneously, but I'm going to do my best to really focus on goal number one. I have to be consistent about writing down what I eat every single day. That being said, I'll share with you a horrible truth. I ended the old year by eating almost three huge slices of Papa John's deep dish pizza and four half-size cheesy bread sticks along with about a liter of Coke, and I can't leave out the globs of garlic butter and marinara sauce I used for dipping. My friend, Ann, shared in this gluttonous act. She's tiny, and she can "afford it" in my opinion, but, of course, she doesn't think so. We heartily indulged in the pepperoni, beef and cheese pie, but after the fat (ha-ha), we felt just awful. We ate around eight o'clock on New Year's Eve, and our swollen bellies grumbled and hated us even through the ball dropping at midnight. Thanks to the phentermine, I didn't eat four pieces of pizza, three bread sticks and half a dozen BBQ chicken wings (that used to be my normal intake - wow, I know!), but phentermine doesn't make my stomach lining and colon immune to the destructive greases of deep dish pizza. I'll spare you details of the aftershock.

Ann, by the way, besides being my partner in crime when it comes to eating wonderfully delicious fatty foods (on holidays and special occasions only), is my number one cheerleader when it comes to this whole Lap Band plan. She has been my shoulder to cry on, my motivational speaker, my waiting room buddy at the doctor's office, my planner, and she's trying to be my exercise buddy (I'm still uncomfortable with the idea of other people seeing me jiggle and sweat). She's basically the strong arm of my support system. I don't think I'd be as gung ho about the Lap Band or weight loss at all if she wasn't always right there beside me holding my hand and, more often that not, behind me pushing me along. I never really wanted a constant someone to lean or fall back on, but now I gladly say that it's more than fantastic having a friend who doesn't mind helping me bear my heavy load while ~~I'm~~ we're on this journey.

Thank you, Ann!

And to those of you reading this and supporting me, thanks to you, too!!!

Happy New Year!!!

2 People + Me

Wed, 30 Dec 2009 08:12:10 -0500

That's right...I'm three people in one. I weigh as much as two people plus me. I had my first visit with my Lap Band doctor on the sixteenth of December, and I found out my BMI (body mass index) is sixty-seven. I am two-thirds FAT. Not that this shocked me, but it was a horrific reminder of just how huge I have become. That and the floor length mirror in the exam room. Thanks to that stupid thing, I realized that my knees have their own knees. Needless to say, I didn't sit in front of that mirror for very long.

Oh my, God, I am officially morbidly obese! I am not blaming anyone else but myself for all the weight I've accumulated over the years, but it sure would be easier if I could point a finger at someone else and have them magically take on all this extra lard I carry. And if that someone could be my ex who selfishly broke my heart seven years ago, which put me into a deep five-year depression, I would put my first finger into a permanent cast and keep it aimed in his general direction.

Let's move on to the positive before I start crying again.

My Lap Band doctor is wonderful! She's down to earth, says what's on her mind, and she didn't put me on a diet! Yay for no dieting! She knows that I know what I have to do, and she didn't try to baby me or say, "Everything's going to be ok." She helped me to realize that losing weight won't be impossible and that everyone is human and can't expect to be perfect. That is what I needed to hear because all I have been trying to attain (in my mind) is perfection, but now I understand that striving for something a little less than perfect is not such a bad thing. I feel more empowered aiming for 150 pounds instead of 130 pounds. I almost love my doctor now, that is how great she made me feel on my first visit.

I've already lost fifteen pounds, and that in itself is reason for applause in my mind. If I was my doctor, I'd approve my surgery right now! I'm on a six-month pre-evaluation period to lose weight and adjust the way I eat and think. Reason being - I have to change my lifestyle before my insurance will approve for me to have a covered Lap Band surgery. They want to make sure I can follow through with the plan and not waste their money I guess. During this six months, I have to lose a total of forty pounds or bring my BMI down to below sixty. I've got about twenty-five pounds left to go and am entering my second month soon.

If you know me then you know that I have the hardest time losing weight, but it's finally started to happen. For real! Thanks is due in part to my regular physician for prescribing me phentermine. Sure, I could probably lose weight just as easily with a balanced diet and exercise, but I have a hard time with self-control at the moment. I don't want to say I need a pill to help keep my appetite under wraps, but I feel like I do...for now at least. This whole journey to the band is hopefully going to help me change that notion.

Once I get a Lap Band in place, I'll have to eat healthy and follow certain guidelines for eating and drinking. So far I have not managed to make many adjustments, but this blog and the New Year are my jumping off points to start anew (once again) and really make things contine to happen. I have another appointment with my LB doc on the thirteenth of January. Before that date arrives, my goals are to do the following:

Keep a daily food journal. (I've got about 4 days written down so far from earlier in December, but I somehow managed to forget what I ate over the week during Christmas. I know chocolate-coverd cherries were consumed. Oops!)

Cut out sodas and jucies and sweet tea sweetened with anything other than splenda. (This could kill me if not drive me insane. I live in the south, and sweet tea is almost impossible to avoid.)

Plan ahead if I'm going to eat out. (Luckily, I hardly eat out...unless we're including the Bacon Ranch salads with crispy chicken from McDonald's. Ugh, I could kill myself now for typing that out.)

Drink more water. (Not too hard, just have to remember that soda is not water.)

OK, so, those are the goals, and January one is almost here. Dear Lord, stick with me on this, and please, please, please help me to stay focused.

I may copy my food journal entries into this blog. I'm not sure about that yet. Do I really want just anyone to know what I am eating or shouldn't be eating? I'd really just be opening myself up for more feedback. Could be good. Or bad. Hmm. We'll see.