Charity Cash's Open Salon Blog

Open Call - Raise Your Voices and Denounce an Injustice

Wed, 17 Mar 2010 13:03:27 -0400

I posted an article yesterday (And Justice for All) about the continuing imprisionment of Leonard Peltier despite calls for his release from the likes of Bishop Desmond Tutu and Nelson Mandela.

It's gotten a few responses, but not enough. I know how strong the people here at OS are, and how vocal we can be, not to mention how persistent.

Help me. Please.

Let's raise our voices in protest. Write to President Obama, write to your senator, to your congressman, and above all, write to Mr. Peltier himself and let him know he has your support.

He needs to be released and he needs to be released now.

Owl posted some very good info in her comment, but I'll repost it here so y'all can find it easily. (thanks, sister)

1) Write a letter to Obama (most think his only chance is a presidential pardon)
2) Email Obama
3) The official website of the Leonard Peltier Defense Committee is www.leonardpeltier.net/newsroom.htm

email: info@leonardpeltier.net

4) To encourage Peltier write to:
Leonard Peltier
#89637-132
PO BOX 474701
Des Moines Iowa 50747-0001

We are thousands strong. Let's do the right thing.

If this works, I will print every single post, and mail them to Mr. Peltier myself, as a show of support.

I'm counting on you, and thank you from the bottom of my heart. I love you all.

Many thanks to Amanda Gulledge for the following info:

The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington, DC 20500
and
http://www.whitehouse.gov/contact

Write, call, carpet bomb them with letters and calls until someone listens. Please.

And Justice for All - In the Spirit of Crazy Horse

Tue, 16 Mar 2010 09:03:39 -0400

When I wrote this several years ago, I had no idea that this injustice would still be continuing with no end in sight these many years later. Read it please. Do whatever you can to make it stop. Even little rocks will eventually add up to a mountain. Thanks for taking the time.

And Justice for All

When I typed the first word of this essay, Leonard Peltier had been in prison for 10,719 days, 15 hours, 35 minutes, and 17 seconds for something he did not do. The American public seems to have forgotten about him, and his ongoing struggle to receive justice through our judicial system.

Our judicial system in the states shows more and more bias towards those with money and privilege every year – the case of OJ Simpson is a prime example – but it has always been a system that those with money, those who can afford the best and brightest attorneys, can manipulate with ease. Unfortunately, if you are arrested for a crime in the United States, unless you are able to shell out more money than most make in a year, more times than not your best option may be to take a plea bargain, whether you're actually guilty of the crime or not.

The police and the prosecutors know exactly how to work the system to get what they want, and usually what they want is a solid conviction record. Depending on the people involved, it can happen just as easily that true justice for one accused of a crime doesn't make the slightest bit of difference. Officers are coached on what to testify to, and there's no pity shown for a defendant who may actually be innocent. If you're arrested, then you're as good as guilty to some. I know there are many, many honest and hardworking police officers and prosecuting attorneys in our country, but what about those that aren't? What if you get caught up in something much bigger than you are, and the supposedly blind eye of justice turns in your direction?

That's what happened to Leonard Peltier

Leonard Peltier, a great-grandfather, artist, writer, indigenous rights activist, citizen of the Anishinabe and Lakota nations, and Nobel Peace Price nominee has been unjustly imprisoned since 1976 for the deaths of two FBI agents who died during a 1975 shoot-out on the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation.

The Case

During the early to mid-70's there was a rise in grass roots activism here in the United States. One of the groups that became very active during that time is the American Indian Movement, or AIM. The flip side of that coin is the paranoia of the FBI about the grassroots groups that were springing up.

Many people not involved in the shootout at Pine Ridge have testified and written articles about the events leading up to the deaths of the two FBI agents and one tribal member, and most have documented the climate of fear that existed on the Pine Ridge Reservation at that time, and how the FBI turned a blind eye to the way AIM members and others were being treated by a squad of "enforcers" employed by Mr. Dick Wilson, then the Tribal Chairperson. This group, known as the Guardians of the Oglala Nation, or literally the "GOONs," was quite open about its activities. The vigilantes had a close and friendly relationship with the FBI., in fact, they were armed by the FBI with M-16s as a part of the domestic COINTELPRO. (1)

Although there was a massive FBI presence on the reservation during this time period, the officers ignored illegal and often violent GOON roadblocks, and even calls for protection from residents under attack by GOONs, as occurred in the town of Wanblee.(2) GOON leader Duane Brewer has admitted that the FBI officials shared intelligence with the vigilantes about AIM activities, ignored their illegal possession of highly dangerous weapons, and even gave them ammunition on one if not more occasions. Mr. Brewer has specifically mentioned receiving armor piercing ammunition.

During the three years of the "reign of terror" while the GOONs were in power (1973 – 1976), 64 Indians were murdered, all of them American Indian Movement (or "AIM"} supporters or members, or their friends and relatives. Still more were threatened, intimidated, injured and harassed, in some cases with the cooperation of the FBI. None of these murders have been investigated. None. The FBI did, however, find the time and resources to file numerous charges against AIM leaders and supporters. Few had sufficient evidence to result in convictions, and in some cases, the courts rebuked the FBI officers involved for tampering with witness testimony and similar misconduct. Far more serious crimes were being committed by the GOONs, but those were swept under the rug and never investigated. The traditionalist Lakotas of Pine Ridge were allied with AIM, and as a result, suffered under both the GOONs and the FBI during three long years that has been called the reign of terror.

Early in 1975, Leonard Peltier and other AIM members were asked by traditionalists to come to Pine Ridge to help and support the people that were being targeted for violence by the GOONs. He, along with Dennis Banks, Bob Robideau, and Dino Butler, set up camp on a ranch owned by the traditional Jumping Bull family. It was in this atmosphere of fear and oppression that Peltier stepped up to the plate, and did what he thought he needed to do to help those who needed him – he offered support and protection against the GOONs, who by this time were almost literally running things. Much like the Tonton Macoutes of Baby Doc Duvalier in Haiti, the GOONs were Wilson's personal militia to put down dissent by intimidation. The situation was an explosive one, liable to be set off by any small spark, and of course, within a short amount of time, it was.

On June 26, 1975 two FBI agents in unmarked cars, Jack Coler and Ronald Williams, drove at full speed onto the Jumping Bull ranch, following a pickup truck in which they ostensibly thought a minor thief was riding. The families that lived there became alarmed and feared an attack from the agents. Shots were heard and a shoot-out between the FBI and the men there at the Jumping Bull ranch erupted. More than 150 FBI agents, U.S. marshals, BIA police, GOONs, and law enforcement surrounded the ranch almost immediately, seriously outnumbering the approximately 35 AIM members and Jumping Bull family members on the ranch (some of those women and small children). Many of the agents had been in place nearby at least 20 minutes before, according to FBI documents that were released years later.

When it was over, the two FBI agents, Coler and Williams, and one AIM activist, Joe Stuntz Killsright, were dead. The two agents had been wounded during the shoot out, and then later killed at close range by shots to the head. Joseph Stuntz was shot in the head by a sniper. His death has never been investigated. Leonard Peltier and others managed to get off the Jumping Bull ranch, and flee, believing their lives to be in danger.

In the confusion, the FBI didn't know who had actually shot the two agents, but set it's sights on three high-profile AIM leaders: Dino Butler, Robert Robideau, and Leonard Peltier.

Dino Butler and Robert Robideau were arrested very quickly, but Leonard Peltier made it into Canada, where he thought he might claim asylum. Butler and Robideau went to trial first, in federal court in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. The jury there acquitted both men on the grounds of self-defense, finding that their participation in the shoot out was justified given the climate of fear in which it had taken place. Neither man could be tied to the close range shootings of the FBI agents. As an interesting side note, an FBI agent suggested the AIM members had threatened the jurors. Jurors disagreed, explaining that it was the FBI they feared when the verdict was read.

Peltier was eventually arrested in Canada, and extradited when the United States provided Canada with affidavit signed by Myrtle Poor Bear, a woman who was known to be mentally ill, which said that she had seen Peltier shoot the two FBI agents. The FBI put her forward as a witness because they said she was Peltier's girlfriend. In fact, Myrtle Poor Bear had never even met Peltier, and she wasn't present at the shoot out. She later recanted her testimony, saying that the FBI had terrorized and coerced her into signing the statement. Peltier was illegally extradited.

Once the FBI had Peltier back in the United States, they had his case transferred from the court in Iowa where his codefendants had been acquitted to a more conservative federal court in North Dakota. Myrtle Poor Bear was not allowed to testify about her experiences with the FBI – the judge barred her testimony on the grounds that she was mentally ill - and the information about the heightened climate of fear on the reservation during the time leading up to the shoot out was severely restricted.

The FBI's behavior up until this point was reprehensible, but it was about to get much worse.

During the trial, the FBI lied, coerced statements from witnesses, and repressed evidence from the defense, consistently, simply to convict someone, anyone, for the shooting of the two agents at Pine Ridge. Guilt or innocence didn't matter in the least; someone had to pay, and it didn't matter who, as long as it was an AIM member. Leonard Peltier fit the bill perfectly.

An FBI agent who had previously testified that the agents followed a pickup truck onto the scene, a vehicle that could not be tied to Mr. Peltier, changed his account, stating that the agents had followed a red and white van onto the scene, a vehicle which Mr. Peltier drove on occasion. In fact, Agents Coler and Williams had radioed in that they were following a truck, not a van at all.
The FBI couldn't find a single witness to identify Mr. Peltier as the shooter.
The U.S. Attorney prosecuting the case emphatically stated that they had given the defense all FBI documents. To the contrary, more than 18,000 had been withheld in their entirety.
An FBI ballistics expert testified that a casing found near the agents' bodies matched the gun tied to Mr. Peltier. However, a ballistic test proving that the casing did not come from the gun tied to Mr. Peltier was intentionally concealed. The FBI ballistic expert, Evan Hodge, testified that he had been unable to perform the best test, a firing pin test, on certain casings found near the agents' car, because the rifle in question had been damaged in a fire. Instead, he stated that he had conducted an extractor mark test, and found the weapon and casing to match. Documents obtained years later under the Freedom of Information Act showed that in October 1975, a firing pin ballistics test had indeed been performed on the rifle, and that the results were clearly negative.
Three adolescent boys gave vague testimony, contradicting their own testimony and that of each other, as to what they had seen the day of the shoot out. All three witnesses later admitted they had been threatened into testifying by the FBI.
The Court did not permit the jury at the trial to hear about the FBI's practice of using false affidavits and intimidating witnesses in previous cases.
During the trial, the Prosecutor claimed in summation that, "we proved that he went down to the bodies and executed those two young men at point blank range…" but at the appellate hearing, the government attorney stated, "We had a murder, we had numerous shooters, we do not know who specifically fired what killing shots … we do not know, quote-unquote, who shot the agents." They also stated that he was equally guilty whether he actually killed the two agents or not, simply the fact that he participated at a distance in the shoot out made him guilty. Peltier's two co-defendants participated in the shoot out at a distance, and were acquitted.
Federal appellate court judge William Webster who sat on the panel that heard Peltier's case was later elected to head the FBI.

The jury, kept in the dark about so many pertinent facts in the case, sentenced Leonard Peltier to two consecutive life terms.

Since then, Peltier's legal team has been fighting almost full-time to right the wrong that has been done to him by our government, and has faced obstacle after obstacle thrown up in their way by the FBI.

After the Freedom of Information Act went into affect, Peltier's legal team filed suit to recover information from the FBI that was not presented to them during the trial. When some of that information was turned over to them, they asked for a new trial for Peltier, citing new evidence had been discovered.

Under current law, Peltier should have been granted a new trial once new evidence had come to light. The Eighth Circuit ruled, "There is a possibility that the jury would have acquitted Leonard Peltier had the records and data improperly withheld from the defense been available to him in order to better exploit and reinforce the inconsistencies casting strong doubts upon the government's case." His request for a new trial, however, was denied. Judge Heaney, who authored the decision denying a new trial, has since been very vocal in his support for Peltier's release, stating that the FBI used improper tactics to convict Peltier, and that the FBI was equally responsible for the shoot-out that resulted in three deaths.

Currently, Peltier's legal team has been involved in a long, drawn out fight to secure the documents that they are legally entitled to under the Freedom of Information Act. Before June 2002, the FBI stated that there were only 6,000 undisclosed documents relating to Peltier's case. In June, when they were ordered to start turning over documents, the amount received by Peltier's team was 30,000 documents. The FBI's estimate of the documents currently being withheld is more than likely just as off. FOIA requests are currently submitted to 30 FBI field offices and are pending. Similar requests have been submitted to the CIA.

There has been a large outcry from the Native American community, Amnesty International, and the U.S. Civil Rights Commission for Congressional hearings to investigate the FBI and it's behavior during this, and other cases, but to date, none have been held.

Normally, a prisoner convicted of homicide serves 200+ months under the Parole Commission Guidelines. Base on those guidelines, Leonard Peltier should have been released from prison on parole over ten years ago. The Parole Commission has repeatedly refused to set a parole date for Peltier until 2008. By then, he will have served nearly double the normal amount of time prisoners serve for homicide. The Parole Commission has stated that its reason for not setting a date is that Peltier has not confessed, or "owned up to" the crime he was convicted of. Should he confess to a crime he didn't commit simply to get out of prison? Some would obviously say "yes;" get it over with and get out. I have to admire the strength and moral fortitude of a man who refuses to confess to a crime he did not commit, even if he could be released by doing so.

The Man

While in prison, Leonard Peltier has proved over and over again what type of man he is. He has:

Helped several prisoners rehabilitate themselves by advocating drug and alcohol-free lifestyles while encouraging pride and knowledge in their cultures and traditions.
Worked with Dr. Selkin of New York on efforts to restructure health care on reservations. A pilot program on the Rosebud Reservation was implemented to document needs and requirements of care (The Leonard Peltier Health Care Reform Package). Substance abuse programs are also part of this package.
Worked with Prof. Jeffery Timmons on a job creation/job training program to stimulate reservation-based economies to end the appalling poverty that affects most of those living there.
Also established, with Prof. Timmons, a youth entrepreneur program for youth on the reservations to teach them how to establish and run their own businesses.
Established a scholarship in 1992 at New York University for Native American students seeking law degrees.
Established and raised funding for a Washington state Native American newspaper run by and for Native youth.
Sponsored two children in Childreach; one in El Salvador, and one in Guatemala.
Worked to have prisoners' artwork displayed around the world in art galleries in hopes of starting art programs for prisoners to increase their self-confidence.
Sponsored clothing and toy drives for reservations every year.
Distributed funds and goods to Head Start, halfway houses, and women's centers.
Sponsored a Christmas gift drive for the children of the Pine Ridge Reservation every year.
Served on the board of the Rosenberg Fund for Children.
Donated his artwork to human rights and social welfare organizations in order to help them raise funds, including the ACLU, Trail of Hope (a Native American conference dealing with drug and alcohol addiction), World Peace and Prayer Day, the First Nation Student Association, and the Buffalo Trust Fund.
Donated his paintings to the Leonard Peltier Charitable Foundation to supply computers and educational supplies to libraries and families on Pine Ridge. He was also able to raise the funds for supplies for Pine Ridge after a devastating tornado.
Won several human rights awards, including the North Star Frederick Douglas Award, Humanist of the Year Award, and the International Human Rights Prize.
Been nominated for the 2004 Nobel Peace Prize.

The fact that a man such as Leonard Peltier remains in prison, despite the outcry for justice from such people as Bishop Desmond Tutu, Mikail Gorbachov, and Nelson Mandella, can be laid at the door of an FBI that is corrupt to the core, only concerned with convicting someone, whether that someone is actually guilty or not. It is an organization that has resisted turning over documents, even when ordered by the court. If the FBI is so convinced of Peltier's guilt, what have they got to fear by turning those documents over?

There is still the question of the over sixty murders that occurred during the reign of terror that have never been investigated, and it seems that they never will be. Apparently, the FBI thinks that the women and children that died there at Pine Ridge while they turned a blind eye don't merit justice, yet they are willing to keep an innocent man in prison, saying that any AIM member works as well as another for their system of justice.

Peltier suffered a stroke in 1986 that left him almost blind in one eye, and he suffers from diabetes and a heart condition. Despite these health problems, he continues to offer support, both emotionally and financially, for the Native American community from behind the prison walls where he is still confined unjustly. There is no doubt that he will continue to offer his support to the community, whether he is released or not. It is an American tragedy that an innocent man is still in prison simply because an agency of our government doesn't care who actually committed two murders – any Indian will do for their purposes.

Division in the Law Enforcement Community

Mr. Wesley Swearingen (author of "FBI Secrets: An Agent's Expose") stated, "I was an FBI agent in Los Angeles when Leonard Peltier was convicted, and I know from FBI documents that I read, and from statements made by fellow FBI agents, that Peltier was wrongfully convicted of murdering two FBI agents just because the agents investigating the case wanted someone to pay for killing the two FBI agents. I know, for a fact, that the FBI is also covering up its culpability in the death of the two agents."

Robert Newbrook, a retired Canadian police officer who arrested Peltier in Alberta in 1976, stated that he's "haunted by the fact that I now think we seized an innocent man, with no valid Canadian arrest warrant, based on false evidence from the U.S."

Representative Don Edwards was the long-time chairman of the House Judiciary Subcommittee on Civil and Constitutional Rights (it had oversight over the FBI). He is a former FBI agent, himself, and has stated publicly that he was convinced that Peltier never received a fair trial. He said that "in light of the government's admission that the theory it presented against Mr. Peltier at trial was not true, and the fact that the FBI continues to deny its improper conduct on the Pine Ridge Reservation during the 1970's (as well as in the trial of Leonard Peltier), Mr. Peltier should be set free." He also stated that Peltier's release "would recognize past wrongdoing and the undermining of the government's case since trial."

It's long past time to right this wrong done to a good man, a man that was doing the best he could under horrendous circumstances, a man that was hunted down for a crime he didn't commit, and has spent the last 10,719 days, 20 hours, 12 minutes, and 11 seconds in prison.

(1)COINTELPRO is an acronym for a series of FBI counterintelligence programs designed to neutralize political dissidents. Although covert operations have been employed throughout FBI history, the formal COunter INTELligence PROgram, or COINTELPRO, of the period from 1956 to 1971 was the first to be both broadly targeted & centrally directed. The stated goals of COINTELPRO were to expose, disrupt, misdirect, discredit, or otherwise neutralize those persons or organizations that the FBI decided were enemies of the State.

The FBI used COINTELPRO tactics against AIM, including the wholesale jailing of the Movement's leadership. Virtually every known AIM leader in the United States was incarcerated in either state or federal prisons since (or even before) the organization's formal emergence in 1968, some repeatedly. After the 1973 siege of Wounded Knee, for example, the FBI caused 542 separate charges to be filed against those it identified as key AIM leaders. This resulted in only 15 convictions, all on such petty or contrived offenses as interfering with a federal officer in the performance of his duty. Organization members often languished in jail for months as the cumulative bail required to free them outstripped resource capabilities of AIM and supporting groups.

(2) Al Trimble, a reform candidate, defeated Dick Wilson for the tribal presidency in 1975. Trimble faced physical violence, including an attack in a restaurant where he and his wife were eating dinner. Later, two of his high school-age sons were pistol whipped, according to reports, at the hands of the GOONs. His car and that of his wife were tailed constantly, and were often stopped for perceived violations or non-violations. Evenings at home for the Trimbles were shattered by gunshots from passing cars, apparently driven by GOONs.

In the four month interim between Trimble's victory and his inauguration, the tribal government offices and treasury were sacked. GOONs were dispatched to Wanblee, a traditionalist stronghold and the Trimble family hometown, in a punitive raid to "straighten out" loyalists there. The straightening out included a hail of automatic weapons fire, and a car chase that left one dead and another severely injured.

Inspired by Others, I Decide to be Brave

Sat, 27 Feb 2010 21:02:37 -0500

As I was reading all the other letters to seventeen-year-olds, I was loving the insight into what shaped each person, and when a picture was included it took me immediately back to that time: we were young, naive, convinced we were invincible, and still had so very much to learn.

Anyway, I remembered a picture that I had uploaded to photobucket, so it wasn't lost when the last computer spontaneously combusted. I think I was eighteen, so it's cheating, just a little, but I love this particular picture because normally my younger brother and I spent our time together trying to at least seriously injure each other. If we didn't kill each other it is only because my five foot nothing mother was brave enough to step in between us, even though we both towered over her before we even hit our teens.

Here's the pic...hope it gives you some of the same insight that your pictures have given me.

Top Secret & Confidential: Dear Me

Fri, 26 Feb 2010 23:02:48 -0500

Hey girl, I'm a little worried about you. You're just so....angry, all the time, filled with a rage, almost, that stays bottled up inside you only to erupt at some unknown moment, and directed at someone who usually doesn't deserve even a tenth of it.

I realize the move from Santa Barbara to Bunny Kill Tennessee right in the middle of your senior year of high school was about as inconsiderate as your parents could possibly be. I know now that they really, really thought that they were doing the best they could, but even your mom admits now that it was a complete and total catastrophe.

Don't be so hard on her...or on your dad, either. If you think about it for a minute, and can admit it to yourself, Dad never did anything that wasn't done with a thought for your welfare, and that of the rest of the family. You won't have him for much longer, you know.

It's so hard to accept that one of your parents, the one you thought was invincible and infallible won't be around to see you graduate from college, see you get married, or even see the three grandchildren you will eventually give him (don't faint....here, sit down. I know that kind of news should have been delivered a little more tactfully. Sorry).

You have exactly five years left with the man that was always there, that always talked so tough and so strict, but always did what you wanted in the end. He did that because his joy in life was to see you smile.

Mom told me later, after Dad had died that the reason he's so hard on you now is that he quite literally thinks you're perfect. If we follow that, no guy will ever be good enough for you to date (much less marry), and the reason that he stays on your back so hard about school and your acceptable-to-any-other-parent A/B average is that if you're perfect, then you must not be trying very hard, or those grades would be perfect A's all the way across the board.

Don't try to convince him that you're human, and that you're not anywhere close to perfect. He won't believe you, and more than that, he doesn't want to believe that. You're his baby girl, the youngest girl of three, and, for him, you did more than hang the moon - you created the universe to spin around you when you were born.

It's a heavy load to carry, I realize that now, but do something for me, please: don't work so hard at disillusioning him. You really can try much harder at school, and it wouldn't kill you to actually be home by the curfew that he gives you once in awhile. It kills him to think of his perfet baby girl out so late at night, where he doesn't know where you are, and probably won't be able to ride to your rescue if you needed him to. His health isn't good enough for him to walk from the porch to the car, much less save you if you needed it.

That knowledge right there I think hurts him more than anything, more than knowing that he'll be leaving you soon...and he does know. He knows already, and is struggling so hard to leave you with everything you could possibly need: all the advice, all the smiles, all the rules, so don't throw them back in his face with such gusto.

He needs some reassurance that you're going to be okay, and you know...sometimes late at night, after everyone's gone to bed, he cries. Yep, that man that stands six foot six, weighs two hundred and fifty lbs, so tall that he has to duck to go through doorways in a standard house cries because he wants so badly to be able to see you through the things that he knows are coming, and knows that his time is running out too fast.

Take it easy on him. Tell him you love him more often. Hug him, maybe sit in his lap and lay your head on his shoulder like you once did when you were six or seven, and let him know that you appreciate every single minute that God is giving you with him. I know he's a little awkward about physical affection, but do it anyway. You'll be glad later on.

Your mom has her hands full right now, too. I don't think this is what she signed up for, and on top of worrying about Dad, she wonders where you are and when you're going to snap and go off again. And then there's your younger brother - a boy/young man who looks for trouble as if it doesn't find him on it's own fast enough. Just like you're your father's baby, Andrew is your mom's baby. Maybe you could chill, slow your roll, quit being such a diva just for a little while. She could use a little less pressure right now.

You'll finish college, at least you have the sense to follow through with it, but consider staying with your original major. You'll enjoy the work more, make more money, and be able to stand just as tall as your older brother - pretentious ass that he is.

Don't marry Curt. Yeah, he's nice looking, and he's from a decent family, but his mother is a nightmare, and she'll inject herself into every little thing you do as a couple until it become unbearable to you, and you have to choose between leaving your soul mate, or putting up with the psycho mother-in-law from hell. It's just years of heartbreak that you don't need. Someone else will come along. Wait for him.

Don't marry your second husband, either. You did that on the rebound, knew exactly what was going on even through the actual ceremony, and still went through with it. You were sorry as hell the next day, but it was already done. Just don't, okay?

Don't buy that Camaro Z28. It's a hot car, looks great, sounds even greater, but it only gets eight miles to the gallon and it will break down so many times that you'd be better off with a bicycle. I know this is the kind of advice you hate, but buy something just a tad more sensible. Resist the temptation. You'll be glad you did.

When you meet Ernie the first time, tell him he's a dickwad and walk away. That is all. Whatever you do, DO NOT LOOK AT THOSE BIG BROWN EYES.

Quit that job at BB before the company goes bankrupt. I know you'll love the job, but it's going away no matter what you do, and it's easier to find a job when you're already employed.

Move back to Tennessee the first chance you get. I know it sounds weird since you hate it so much right now that you could scream, but Julia will be the best friend you'll ever have, and she'll be there with you through every damn thing you go through, and you will absolutely have to deal with a lot.

Love those kids you're going to have. They're all gorgeous, intelligent, and sensitive. Remember that.

Above all, work hard, but stop being your own worst critic. Sometimes the best you can do is just the best you can do, and there's no sense looking back with regret on the things you can't change, and probably wouldn't even if you could.

Use those last years with your father. Learn from him. Let him know that you'll carry on, and that his efforts haven't been in vain.

Hold up your mother from time to time. I know she's the strongest woman you've ever known, but even she needs a hand, a shoulder, an ear from time to time. You might be surprised at the relationship that develops if you do.

Do the things you've always wanted to do. Don't reach my age, and wish. It's sad.

Love you, little hellion. Take care, and I'll see you on the other side.

A Thousand Apologies, and a Thousand More

Fri, 26 Feb 2010 09:02:31 -0500

Does anyone remember me? I wouldn't blame you if you didn't. I sort of pulled what my grown daughter calls one of my "disappearing acts" there for awhile. In my defense, weak as it is, I had to reconnect with that thing called being a grown-up.

I don't like it. Please don't make me do it again for this long.

We've been househunting - again. Or, at least, what my husband calls househunting. We find one we like, I tell him "let's go for it," he says, "I want to think about it for a bit," and by the time the snail of decision makers has made up his mind, the house is sold to someone else. I swear, I'm just gonna buy one, and then say, "TA-DA!" Just so we can get this tediousness out of the way.

Oldest son is a sophomore in college this year (I know, "yay" and all that), and needed a laptop. I had an older IBM Thinkpad that wasn't anything fancy, but it worked like a charm, so I gave it to him. Three days after I gave him my laptop the processor on my desktop fried itself, and I was left without a computer for awhile. (This is the third desktop I've fried either the processor or the motherboard. I'm beginning to wonder if I have some sort of reverse polarity thing going on or something). I had JUST sent oldest son $800 for a desktop - he's a computer science major, he needs it - so broke doesn't even begin to describe my finances at the time, especially after paying his tuition for this semester.

Some dipshit backed out of a driveway right into the front corner of my Montero, pulling the bumper down a bit and smashing the windshield washer reservoir. His insurance was some damn company I'd never heard of, and it took literally months to get them to agree to pay for the damages, even after I took the damn thing to the shop they do business with to get one of the estimates. At the Mitsubishi dealership the estimate was $635, another place it was $642, and then at the shop they sent me to (another dealership), it was $629. Wanna know how much the check was that they sent me? $230. I finally had to have my lawyer give them a call to get the damn thing fixed and paid for. Sheesh - bunch of idiots.

We adopted another puppy. I didn't want to. Husband didn't want to, but....these dumbass people were, in their words, I swear, "either going to take her out somewhere in the boondocks and drop her off (apparently to starve to death), or shoot her." I couldn't stand it so I came home one night with a HUGE puppy in my lap. I'm not sure what breed she is, but she's a shepherd mix - we named her Bella:

We already have one dog: a year old (or thereabouts) pit bull/lab mix - Marley. Bella looks like she's maybe six months old, and she lacks only an inch or so being the same size, so we figure she's gonna be a big girl. It was touch and go for the first few days whether they were going to be able to get along, but they're best friends now, sleep all curled up together, etc. Let me tell you...NOBODY comes in our backyard without being invited. *grin*

Finally got my tax return back so I was able to get a computer - of sorts. I just bought a used tower - figured with my track record there wasn't any sense in buying anything brand new. It still left us a computer short, though, since the youngest savage is spending more and more time online, so without telling my husband (I'm a bad, bad girl), I bought myself a Dell Inspiron 1545 laptop. I told him this long story about how my stepdad bought a new laptop and was giving me his old one. Lucky that husband doesn't know a damn thing about computers. He doesn't even know how to turn one on - NOT KIDDING.

There is some good news: youngest savage took his test for his brown belt in karate a week ago today and passed. Mama is so proud. He only has three left now: brown striped, second brown striped, and then black.

The psycho bitch that my ex-husband married has gone on some kind of demented rampage, and has been emailing me every other day or so. I've never done anything to the stupid cow....well, once I caught her rummaging through my car when I was in the house picking up my son, and I chased her down the street yelling, "Run! Run!" (she outweighs me by a good 150 pounds and is scared of me in person, just gets brave over a distance). So it was funny watching her run, and I laughed until I cried - I swear you would have done the same thing. For the last week and a half or so I've just been ignoring her emails, trying to be an adult, you know....being mature. I finally had enough yesterday, though, and got creative with my return email. I just sent her a link to this video:

So....what did I miss?