Corey Maxson Tucker's Open Salon Blog

Corey, 100 words, 20 minutes

Sun, 4 Jan 2009 12:01:52 -0500

I awoke one day to find myself in Boston; I’m still here. I’m told that Memphis is my birthplace and I lived my first 18 months in a Mississippi RFD near Byhalia.

I want to wake up somewhere else (not Mississippi). I’d rather awake up in New York. I want to replace the Charles with the Seine. I want a morning run in Tuscany, to write in San Francisco, and to lust in Barcelona. I miss caring about Red Sox baseball. Language, music, documentary film: essential. My father is dead; my stepfather haunts my nightmares.

I want to wake up next to her.

11 Resolutions, No Explainations.

Thu, 1 Jan 2009 13:01:13 -0500

1. Read:

Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison
The Varieties of Religious Experience by William James
Dream Boogie: The Triumph of Sam Cooke by Peter Guralnick
How the Mind Works by Steven Pinker
The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath

2. Finish the half marathon under 2.5 hours.

3. Finish Grand Theft Auto IV.

4. Take more pictures.

5. Write a piece of fiction for the sheer challenge of it.

6. Get a new bicycle. Or Two.

7. Get in touch with Shanna.

8. Pay Tom back.

9. Spend more time at the library.

10. Spend significant amounts of time in other cities.

11. Create 250 pages of new writing that satisfies me.

A Heretic Semi-seriously Ponders the Bible

Tue, 30 Dec 2008 12:12:12 -0500

With Christmas and the accompanying Bible-centric shows featured on PBS and basic cable last week, I’ve found myself contemplating the Bible again. Here are a few recent ponderings:

If Satan and God were to replay their wager from the Book of Job, could think of a more deserving test subject then the pious George W. Bush?

Let me get this straight: God is the supernatural being responsible for goodness and Satan is the supernatural being responsible for leading humankind astray and tempting us into acts of evil. Yet, Christianity is monotheistic? Hmmmm….

Speaking of the Devil, he seems kind of passive-aggressive for the Prince of Darkness, dontcha think? I mean the last time Satan directly confronted God (that we know of) was when he tempted Jesus in the wilderness for 40 days. But for the last 2000 years he’s been trying to piss off God not by engaging him directly, but by provoking humans to be bad. It's like antagonizing your neighbors' kids because you hate that the dad mows the lawn at 7:00am on Saturdays. Grow up, Satan and deal with God like an adult!

And what’s with God obstinately tolerating Satan’s childish petulance? I think there’s something more going between those two that we don’t yet know about. Color me suspicious.

If, in these modern times, you found yourself as young person who is the miracle-working Messiah/Son of God, you knew that your Ministerial duties were only required during the last three years of your 33-year life, and you knew that your life between the age of 12 and 30 will be forever lost to history, what would you do with those 18 years?

Me? I’d probably set up shop in Baja, learn to surf, and take up instruments like guitar and piano.

Saint Paul says in 1 Corinthians 11:14: “Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him?” But yet:

Oopsie. Personally, I think we need more portraits of Jesus wearing a jewfro.

It is said that Jesus lived a sinless life; does that really mean that Jesus never performed an act that would be categorized a sin, or is “sinless” meant in the Nixonian sense: “When the President does it, that means it is not illegal”? Perhaps when Jesus does it, it is not a sin?

Another question about Jesus and sin - While reading about the recent controversy around the Pope’s remarks about “saving humanity from homosexuality”, I learned that the Catholic Church doesn’t view homosexuality as sinful, it views homosexual acts as sinful.

So if Jesus lived a sinless life, and homosexuality is not a sin, that means that Catholics have to be open to the non-provable/non-disprovable possibility that Jesus was a homosexual, right?

What say you?

25 things from Corey

Mon, 29 Dec 2008 23:12:10 -0500

1. I get bored with talking about myself. And I'm lazy. You're only getting 12 things, and you'll like it! (Or maybe I just have low self-esteem and don't think I'm that interesting? Or maybe y'all are just too into yourselves, lol?)

2. During my tenure as an Electrical Engineering major, students in liberal arts classes paid me to write papers for classes that I wasn't even in. The liberal arts kids got better grades in their classes than the grades I earned in engineering. That's one reason I left EE after 2 1/2 years.

3. Working in a major downtown hotel had its moments. I learned which local celebrities and Red Sox players were coke heads and I got to witness the drinking habits of many B and C-list celebreties and pro athletes.

4. I've never in my life cooked breakfast and I never intend to. I'm just not that into pancakes, French toast, sausages, eggs and such.

5. Love HBO's "The Wire". Love ice cream and gelato. Hate mayonnaise.

6. I used to be able to read novels in Italian and French, but sadly I've let that skill lapse.

7. In 2000 I found myself on the roof deck of the World Trade Center with my then-girlfriend. We forgot the camera. Upon seeing the price of disposable cameras at the gift shop we said, "Next time. We'll be here again".

8. October 2001, 5 weeks after September 11, was the next time I was in New York. I had flown down with a friend and we visited the Empire State Building. Again finding myself at the top sans camera, I sought out the gift shop. It was "open" but the lights were off and no one was attending the counter. I had no problem walking out with a $25 Kodak FunSaver camera. I have a picture of myself at the top of the Empire State Building and I have yet to feel guilty about that incident.

9. I still love old-school Michael Jackson solo stuff. Unapologetically.

10. I don't get Pink Floyd's continued popularity.

11. I secretly believe that Michelle Obama is the love child of Claire Huxtable and Angela Davis; that's why I like her so much.

12. I believe that writing 25 things is waaaaay to tedious. I wasn't lying when I said you were only getting 12.

A Holiday Card from Me to You

Wed, 24 Dec 2008 11:12:01 -0500

Click image for a slightly larger version.

Merry Malcolm Xmas by Corey Maxson Tucker is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Unported License.