Dan Schreiber's Open Salon Blog

It's Obama's Karma, not his Katrina

Mon, 3 May 2010 11:05:12 -0400

It looks like a narrative is emerging that the massive oil spill in the gulf is now Obama’s Katrina. This makes sense, if you don’t remember much about Katrina, or know much about this oil spill.

It is true that this oil spill is likely to exceed the environmental damage and human cost that even Katrina dished out.

But the problem with Katrina was that we knew it was coming. Then we knew it came. Then we knew the levees broke. Then we knew that people were stranded and starving and desperate. Only after a day or so of chaos did the Bush government swing into action to help actual people in immediate crisis.

The problems this time around are:

The oil platform explosion was unexpected
Bad weather hampered initial efforts to figure out what was happening
British Petroleum totally underestimated the extent of the problem it reported to the government.
There might not even be a fix to this for 3 months, until they can drill another pipe into the oil field to drain off the leak. That's not a government response problem, it is a science problem. Perhaps it is a government policy problem not to have stricter guidelines when doing off-shore drilling.
People have been working around the clock on the problem, but since it’s in the middle of the gulf and underground, no one is seeing it, so it gives the impression nothing is being done.

Even if you rewound time, it isn’t clear what the government should have done differently. Throwing a bunch of helicopters and food at it is not going to fix it. See Media Matters for a complete timeline. And compare it to the Katrina timeline if you think they are comparable.

The most ironic thing about this is that the people complaining about the government’s response are the same people that don’t want any government involvement in their lives. Make up your mind, folks. About the only mistake you can say the government made is in believing its profit-oriented industry partner about the extent of the spill. Sounds like a case for more government regulation, oversight and involvement to me. Katrina, indeed.

I say if you want to blame something, blame Karma. Obama reversed himself a month ago to suddenly support off-shore drilling, which conservatives had been demanding since Sarah Palin started the Drill Baby Drill chant at the Republican National Convention. Now we get to learn why potential environmental disasters should factor into our resource-use policies, just like all the tree-huggers say they should. Like Earl, Obama should not have messed with Karma.

No Compromise

Thu, 20 Aug 2009 11:08:26 -0400

I’m a liberal. I believe in giving a little to try to make more people happy. I believe people’s concerns should be taken into account if it will make for a stronger community. I believe that compromise is warranted based on its effectiveness, but that compromise is not its own goal.

So, when I look at the current health care debate, I wonder why Democrats keep banging their heads against the wall of accommodation and compromise, when it clearly isn’t going to make any difference.

Liberals believe our health care system is seriously broken. It has an infection, and the best way to fix this infection is to apply the antibiotics of a single-payer, universal health care system. This is how modern, civilized nations treat health care issues.

Conservatives don’t believe there is much of a problem in health care. Health care is properly handled by profit-making industries. What little infection exists in our system they believe is best handled by applying more profit-sucking leeches to the skin of the system.

Compromise can happen when, say, one person likes one shade of color and another person likes a different shade of color. Both parties then work hard to find a third shade of color that they both can live with. Compromise cannot happen when one side likes one shade of color and the other side thinks color is evil.

So, compromise for health care reform is hard, because one side wants to use antibiotics and the other wants to use leeches. Nonetheless, Democrats compromised even before the discussion started by coming up with a plan to use half the recommended dose of antibiotics (in the form of a public, Medicare-like insurance option) along with the full number of leeches recommended by the Republicans (in the form of continuing with employer-based private insurance company plans).

Of course, Republicans are not happy with this, so the White House has now floated the idea of not using antibiotics at all, but using some co-op-based homeopathic, herbal remedy that scientists say won’t work at all. Plus the full number of leeches the Republicans want.

Even before Democrats suggested the homeopathic remedy of the co-ops, it wasn’t clear that the half dosage of antibiotics was going to cure the patient, especially given the number of leeches that are attached everywhere to the system. So, yeah, we’re angry that the latest suggested compromise will kill the patient, which we believe to be even worse than the leeches.

There’s hope though. A few Democrats seem to have finally connected the dots, and determined that Republicans who have always been hostile to health care reform and are still hostile to health care reform will likely continue to be hostile to health care reform in the future. These Democrats seem ready to go forward without compromising. That’s a good thing.

The Republicans have become the People’s Front of Judea

Tue, 11 Aug 2009 15:08:55 -0400

Let strip away all the crazy from the health care reform “debate.” Let’s pretend that people are rational and decent. Let's pretend people don’t do things like:

Hang congresspeople in effigy.
Shout angrily that the government needs to keep its hands off their Medicare.
Equate Obama with Hitler.
Equate health care reform with Nazism.
Claim that the government is going to start killing old people.
Claim that baby Trig will need to plead for his life before a government “death panel.”

Let’s also pretend that 58% of Republicans are not Birthers, and that Teabaggers don’t really believe that raising taxes 3% on the top 5% of wage earners is the same thing as socialism.

Why do we need to pretend things that clearly are not true? So that we can uncover, beneath all the slime and sludge of Republican talking points, what lies at the base of objections to health care reform. It’s the same thing that lies at the base of all Republican talking points: The belief that the government is not capable of doing anything right. That the government is wrong and evil. That everyone should really, really hate the government.

This belief goes beyond ideology into a kind of psychosis. It causes conservatives to become nonsensical, like when they want the government out of their Medicare. Even Bill Kristol can’t defend this basic point in an intelligible way in front of Jon Stewart:

In fact, this whole discussion reminds me a scene from Life of Brian:

Remember that we have stripped away all the crazy, this is the very best thing we can say about the Republican Party at this point in time: They are now the People’s Front of Judea.

I would bet that if you promise to really, really hate government as much as they do, they would tell you to spray paint the town walls full of graffiti to prove it. After all, that's what the health care debate has sunk to.

All choked up

Tue, 28 Jul 2009 10:07:20 -0400

If there is a moment that most Harry Potter fans say they cried while reading the books (and if you have not read the books, please stop reading this right now, run to your nearest library and read all seven books before doing anything else in your life, and also stop reading this because it is filled with spoilers of all kinds, starting with the next phrase of this already too long sentence), it is the scene in The Half-Blood Prince where Dumbledore is betrayed and killed, while Harry is immobilized and hidden and not able to do anything about it.

Dumbledore's death came as a major surprise to readers, because killing off powerful, lovable, old wizards is about as popular as blowing up planets with Death Stars. And in this case, it left Harry without his greatest protection and requires him to face Voldemort wholly unprepared and alone. Given that the poor guy's parents were killed when he was a baby and his godfather was killed a book earlier, taking away Dumbledore at the hands of Harry's archenemy was as cruel as it was sad.

However, I am happy to report that I did not cry when I read it. This is a major accomplishment for me these days. As I age, I seem to have become a leaky sap machine. I must be making up for lost time, because I don't remember crying over any emotion until 1993, when I was well into my late 20s.

I remember it clearly, because it happened at a movie. My unremarkable middle-class life had not yet produced a single tear-worthy event, so it wasn't until I saw a movie about Nazi atrocities that I could prove that my tear-ducts actually worked. But it wasn't the atrocities that did it. It was Oskar Schindler breaking down at the end of Schindler's List.

Oskar Schindler: I could have got more out. I could have got more. I don't know. If I'd just... I could have got more.
Itzhak Stern: Oskar, there are eleven hundred people who are alive because of you. Look at them.
Oskar Schindler: If I'd made more money... I threw away so much money. You have no idea. If I'd just...
Itzhak Stern: There will be generations because of what you did.
Oskar Schindler: I didn't do enough!
Itzhak Stern: You did so much.
[Schindler looks at his car]
Oskar Schindler: This car. Goeth would have bought this car. Why did I keep the car? Ten people right there. Ten people. Ten more people.
[removing Nazi pin from lapel]
Oskar Schindler: This pin. Two people. This is gold. Two more people. He would have given me two for it, at least one. One more person. A person, Stern. For this.
[sobbing]
Oskar Schindler: I could have gotten one more person... and I didn't! And I... I didn't!

Maybe reading it doesn't quite do it justice. I dare you watch it and not get at least a little choked up:

By the time Schindler breaks down, I was literally sobbing in the theater. I was stunned that a movie could affect me so deeply. Despite all Oskar did to save Jews from the Nazis, in the end he regretted not doing more. It's a deeply human emotion, because it's true of all of us. Lives may not be on the line much of the time, but we all could all do more to reduce suffering in the world. To have it so starkly contrasted between a gold lapel pin and a human life is devastating.

After Schindler's List, my internal spigot seems to have gotten stuck in the "on" position, because since then, I find myself getting teery-eyed at many movies, even when I know I'm being manipulated, and even during some movies that totally suck.

But, it's never evil or outright sadness that turns on the waterworks. Usually, it is when somebody does something exceptionally compassionate or honorable. My very partial list of personal tear-jerkers includes:

Hotel Rwanda: Paul Rusesabagina watches his family pull away on a truck to freedom, yelling out to his screaming, hysterical wife: "I cannot leave these people to die."

Lord of the Rings, after the ring is destroyed and Frodo and Sam are trapped in Mordor, waiting to die:
Frodo: I can see the Shire. The Brandywine River. Bag End. The Lights in the Party Tree.
Sam: Rosie Cotton dancing. She had ribbons in her hair. If ever I were to marry someone, it would have been her. It would have been her.
Frodo: I'm glad to be with you, Samwise Gamgee, here at the end of all things.

Juno: Bleaker, having no idea how to help Juno after she delivers the baby, climbs into the hospital bed to just hold her. And of course Vanessa finally letting go and just loving on the baby.

Yesterday: The character Yesterday's only wish before she dies is to make sure her daughter gets into school. Near the end, her teacher friend says out of the blue: "When time comes, I will care for your daughter as if she is my own."

The Wire, Season 1: After Kima gets shot, McNulty feels like he is responsible, and William Rawls, in the only compassionate thing he ever does in the entire series, yells at McNulty: "Listen to me, you fuck! You did a lot of shit here. You played a lot of fucking cards, and you made a lot of fucking people do a lot of fucking things they didn't wanna do. This is true; we both know this is true. You, McNulty, are a gaping asshole. We both know this. Fuck if everybody in CID doesn't know it! But fuck if I'm gonna stand here and say you did a single fucking thing to get a police shot! You did not do this, you fucking hear me? This is not on you! No, it isn't, asshole! Believe it or not, everything isn't about you! And the motherfucker saying this, he hates your guts, McNulty! So you know if it WAS on you, I'd be the son of a bitch to say so! Shit went bad - she took two for company. That's the only lesson here."

Millions: "Have you ever seen a St. Marueen? She's new." (Damien, talking to one of the saints, referring to his recently deceased mom.)

These may not read nearly as heartbreaking as they are in context, but, man, they sure caught me at the right moment. And, for the most part, these are good scenes in good movies that many people would fall for. My crowning achievement as sap, though, is tearing up in Return to Me, when Jim Belushi, who has been a complete douchebag the entire movie, gets angry and ready to beat up his wife's friends' boyfriend because he thinks she been mistreated. Jim Belushi? Really? Offering violence? What is wrong with me?

But here's the thing. Being surprised by a sudden outburt of compassion is a major component of getting choked up. Even if the compassion comes in the form of someone doing the only thing they know how to do, like offering to beat someone up. Sometimes especially if it's the only thing they know how to do, like Bleaker simply climbing in bed with Juno. Life is bearable because of connections we have to others, and when someone shows that by knowingly sacficing themselves or unexpectedly coming through with even a small act of compassion, I get choked up. It is especially effective when it comes as a surprise from people you never expect had it in them.

Despite all this, no, I did not cry when Dumbledore died. It was an act of evil, and shocking, and sad, but it didn't touch me in that way. I half-expected I might get teary-eyed during the Dumbledore scene in the movie, knowing now what an act of sacrifice it really was. But no, the movie didn't do it for me either.

In fact, the movie didn't even put in my favorite scene from all seven Harry Potter books. It involved Bill Weasley and his fiancée Fleur, whose entire storyline was edited out of The Half-Blood Prince. In the book up to this point, Fleur is a shallow, flighty prima donna, never satisfied with the Weasley's provisions and always hogging the spotlight from the other women. When Bill's face is mutilated by a werewolf in the big fight at the end of the book, I think everyone in the world had assumed that the engagement was now history.

But here's how it went down:

"Dumbledore gone," whispered Mr. Weasley, but Mrs. Weasley had eyes only for her eldest son; she began to sob, tears falling onto Bill's mutilated face.

"Of course, it doesn't matter how he looks....It's not r-really important...but he was a very handsome little b-boy...always very handsome...and he was g-going to be married!"

"And what do you mean by zat?" said Fleur suddenly and loudly. "What do you mean, ''e was going to be married?'"

Mrs. Weasley raised her tear-stained face, looking startled. "Well - only that -"

"You theenk Bill will not wish to marry me anymore?" demanded Fleur. "You theenk, because of these bites, he will not love me?"

"No, that's not what I -"

"Because 'e will!" said Fleur, drawing herself up to her full height and throwing back her long mane of silver hair. "It would take more zan a werewolf to stop Bill loving me!"

"Well, yes, I'm sure," said Mrs. Weasley, "but I thought perhaps - given how - how he -"

"You thought I would not weesh to marry him? Or per'aps, you hoped?" said Fleur, her nostrils flaring. "What do I care how he looks? I am good-looking enough for both of us, I theenk! All these scars show is zat my husband is brave! And I shall do zat!" she added fiercely, pushing Mr. Weasley aside and snatching the ointment from her."

Of all the great stuff in the Harry Potter series, this is the scene that had me blubbering by the end of it. It was a total surprise, a total affirmation of what's really important in a relationship, and shows us how people can rise up to be decent and honorable in a tragic situation.

It's probably a good thing it wasn't in the movie. Listening to a middle-aged man blubber in a theater during a children's movie would probably have just made everyone uncomfortable.

How I Became an Extra in an Independent Movie

Thu, 11 Jun 2009 14:06:44 -0400

Last Thursday, I picked up some dancers in Kankakee.

Wait, that sounds incriminating. How about this: Last Thursday, I had some semi-famous dancers in the back seat of my van.

Maybe I should back up. I guess this story starts where many tales of lost innocence and fame-seeking start: with a bribe.

We bribed our good friends Dave and Jenna Weglarz-Ward last year. Our daughters have been friends since kindergarten but they were due to go to different middle schools. Dave and Jenna were wavering though, and we used this as an opportunity to bribe them: send Madeline to Jasmine’s middle school and we would host them for dinner once a month. The Weglarz-Wards accepted these terms, and it has worked out well for everyone involved. The girls like hanging out together. The Schreibers like having the Weglarz-Wards over. The Weglarz-Wards like free food.

A few months ago, we learned at one such dinner that Dave had somehow used his magical powers of hypnotism (or perhaps some other occult power) to become location manager for a movie that was going to be shot here in Champaign-Urbana, Illlinois. Plus, Jenna was going to be the extras casting director. It turns out that Dave and Jenna have a social life outside of coming to our house once a month for dinner, and that they are good friends with Dan Beahm and Erika Randall Beahm, who used live in town and are producing and directing the film. Also, Erika co-wrote the script with Jennifer Bechtel, who we know from local theater productions. As usual, it’s a small, small, Champaign-Urbana world.

We must have served especially good food one night, or more likely, served too much beer, because Dave and Jenna asked if we wanted to be extras in the movie. Also, if we wanted to help out in other ways, they would let us. This sounded like a great deal to me. I’ve always wanted to be on the set of movie.

I had assumed the movie would be one step up from teenagers running around town taking videos on their cell phones. After all, this is my friend Dave, who needs me to transfer his high school videos into mpeg format so he can see them on his computer. He’s not exactly on the cutting edge of the digital world. Also, his videos are exactly what you’d expect of high school friends being hilarious to each other.

So I was impressed when I found out some big-name dance stars were involved, as well as an experienced crew. The movie is called Leading Ladies, and is about an overbearing dance mom and her two daughters. They had signed on Melanie LaPatin (who dominated Latin and Ballroom dance circles for 20 years) and Benji Schwimmer (winner of So You Think You Can Dance). My entire exposure to the world of dance is the four episodes of Dancing with the Stars I watched during spring break this year with my daughters, so I had no idea who they were. But I do have access to the internet. And I am now duly impressed.

Plus, they recruited a real cinematographer in Peter Biagi, who worked on some Robert Altman films. Apparently, being a location manager (finding locations for all the scenes in the movie) is different from being a producer, director, actor or a cinematographer. And Dave is a great location manager, having secured various locations around town at little or no charge. It eventually dawned on me that this was a real movie, as they are planning on submitting it to Sundance next fall.

As the time got closer, we asked Dave and Jenna whether there was anything we could do to help. It turns out there was: we have a big house, and they wanted to have a “Welcome to Champaign-Urbana” party for the cast and crew. Would we be willing to host? Heck yes! We love filling our house with large numbers of people.

The cast and crew were all very gracious. And everyone was enthusiastic about the start of filming. At the party we learned that Melanie likes children and pets (or at least she like the Schreiber kids and our dog Jac, but really, who could blame her?). Benji likes old houses and regularly goes on humanitarian trips to Mexico. Peter Biagi is interesting to talk to but is a terrible basketball player. There were a bunch of Dans, Daves and Bretts involved in the production, but I had no idea who was who, which was good. I hoped not to fawn over or ignore anyone unduly.

We really hit it off with Dan (and later Erika) Beahm, the producer/director. The Weglarz-Wards have good tastes in friends, even if you discount their association with the Schreibers. At this point in my life, I should not be surprised by such things, but we learned that Dan Beahm’s mom lived on the same dorm floor as Jill’s Aunt Judy when they went to college. Also, his mom and dad see Jill’s aunt Bev and uncle Joel semi-regularly at church events in Indiana. It’s a small, tiny, miniscule Champaign-Urbana world, especially if you are married to my wife.

So, I’ve been trying to help out with the movie as best I can. One day, my task was to find a cello. Another day, provide a glue gun. I failed to produce enough liquor bottles in the quantity desired for one scene, but did manage to find enough futons for a different scene. Much earlier, we had provided the name of our neighbor with a 70s era kitchen as a location for the movie. Their house was on the market and they had already moved to Chicago, so it was perfect as an empty place with the right look. Also, I’ve been encouraging people to sign up as extras.

So, as I mentioned before, last Thursday I found myself driving up to Kankakee to pick up dancers, who were in the back of my van for an hour and a half. True be told, it was Dave’s van we were in, but having dancers in the back of Dave’s van is not nearly as fun to say.

The dancers were being brought in for a big dance scene at a local Jerry’s IGA (because when you make a dance movie in Champaign-Urbana, there's no better location than Jerry’s IGA). They were all on So You Think You Dance, but I had no idea who they were (see dance world knowledge, above). Dave chose me to pick them up partially because I wouldn’t embarrass myself and partly because I was the only one available. Had it been Bonnie Hunt or Marisa Tomei, I would certainly have embarrassed myself, but luckily for me, they were not asked to dance in this movie.

Why Kankakee? The dancers flew into O’Hare from LA and Dave’s dad drove them down to Kankakee, which is halfway between Chicago and C-U, where I met them to take them the rest of the way. It is what I would imagine smuggling immigrants is like. Except that these immigrants were semi-famous dancers from LA with a lot of luggage who watched Real Housewives for most of the drive. They crammed themselves into the very back seat, probably so as to be as far away from the middle-aged chauffeur/dad/grunt/nerd guy as possible. But they were very polite about it. For posterity, the dancers were Katee Shean, Courtney Galiano, and Kherington Payne. I am sorry to report that the reality of picking up dancers in Kankakee is about as exciting as getting picked up in Kankakee by middle-aged men.

The movie production is just over half-way done and wraps up the last week of June. Things seem to be going well.

Also for posterity, I’ve been an extra in one scene, and plan to be in two more. My roles are as follows:

Awkward Guy Standing Near Bar at a Gay Nightclub. Words cannot describe my lifelong lack of personal fabulousness that causes no one to ever mistake me for a gay man. With truly fabulous people dancing and milling about, I wisely hung out near the bar and talked to the guy who played drums in the fake band. My only hope is that I might pass for awkwardly bi-curious. Mostly, I am hoping not to make the cut for this scene.
Single Dad of Two Teenage Daughters at a Pizza Parlor. This was supposed to be the father of a family of five at a pizza parlor, but my wife will be at a conference that week and my son will be at summer camp. I am hoping the girls will act bored and/or uncomfortable being in public with their dad, so it will be a realistic scene.
Face in the Crowd at Ballroom Dance Competition. They are hoping to get over a hundred people there, and I promised to bring as many people as I could.

I didn’t get the one extra role that I truly desired: the off-screen one-night stand of Sheri, the overbearing dance mom. I’ve never had a one-night stand in real-life, so I thought it might provide some closure to be the fake one-night stand of Melanie LaPatin’s in a movie. Plus, the only thing this character has to do is snore off-screen, which I am confident I can nail as a part, especially since it will likely be dubbed in later. But, it turns out they don’t really need an extra for someone snoring off-screen.

Oh well. In the Leading Ladies universe, I’ve decided that Single Dad at Pizza Parlor went to a gay nightclub one night to become Awkward Guy Standing Near Bar, only to be picked up by Indomitable Dance Mom, resulting in his becoming One-Night Stand Guy Snoring. Maybe his backstory needs to involve dancers from Kankakee too. At any rate, this would provide all the backstory anyone would ever need for why Single Dad at Pizza Parlor is single, and why he might later show up by himself at a regional ballroom dance competition. That is plenty of closure for me.