ddcatwoman's Open Salon Blog

The Lion Sleeps Tonight

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 19:06:20 -0400

While the world morns the loss of famous icons, Ed McMahon, Farah Faucet and Michael Jackson. Our little family mourns a loss of our own.

On Father's day, my beautiful Fred, had a blood clot, go to his spine, paralyzing him in the hind legs. I had to drive him to the emergency vet; he had to be put to sleep. We are all still shocked.

He had just and hour before, taken his evening walk with me from our visit to the chickens, back to the house. Just 5 -10 minutes before he was sitting on the bathroom sink, tapping me on the shoulder, so that I would turn the sink on for him so he could get a drink.

Just like that, he was gone. He was loved, he is so deeply missed. Our little lion, filled up our entire backyard and home with so many memories, it's hard to go outside anymore.

This is Fred sleeping in his favorite spot in the backyard, where he is now laid to rest. I will cover his grave in his favorite flowers, iris, lilies and soapwort. He loved to stalk through them, and I'd sometimes think he imagined himself a lion stalking through the plains. Sometimes he'd play peek-a-boo, popping up and down behind them.

He loved to lie on the cars when they were warmed from the sun. He loved to sleep in our swing under the screen tent. We called it Fred's Summer House. He was always supposed to be an inside cat, but he loved to be outdoors so much that we gave in and let him be inside, outside.

He always greeted everyone when they came to visit or when we came home.

I will miss him when it rains; I used to call outside for him so he'd come in out of it.

I miss him when I brush my teeth because he used to sit on the sink and ask for a drink.

When I come home and he's not in the drive to greet me. When we take the dogs for a walk and I'd have to carry him around the block with us, because he'd want to go, but he walked to slow.

I miss him when I let my dogs out in the morning, because he used to come in when they went out. I'd always think of the Bugs Bunny cartoon, where the sheep dogs and Coyotes would clock in and out, as they passed each other on their shift to guard and try to eat the sheep.

He filled every corner of our home, our yard and our hearts

I still can't believe he is gone, He is very much missed.

Tired

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 19:03:58 -0400

Have you ever just gotten tired of pretty much everything all at once?

I used to be a single mom. I had my parents "help" as in they ran my life in one way or another by using my son to do it.

Then I started dating my HS Sweetheart. At first everything was all peaches and cream. Now. Eh, I'm not so sure.

I feel like I belong in that book/movie, "He's Just Not That Interested".

I mean we've been together for four years maybe a little more. He asked me to marry him. I'm still waiting.

I orignally had the date picked, guest list done, all picked, time picked etc. Then when I wanted to make the deposit on the hall he freaked out. Couldn't do it blah, blah,blah. So we stayed together and I waited. Still waiting.

He still tries to dangle the carrot every now and again. I suppose, I'm supposed to get all swoony and "Oh he loves me he wants to marry me" but those feelings only last for so long before you just smile and say yeah whatever. Then of course he gets insulted. Because I have no reaction.

Honestly, what can you expect after 4 years of hearing the same thing with nothing to show for it?

I tell him, pick the date, set it up, I'll show up with a dress. Knowing full well it will never really happen. Because honestly, at this point I'm not really sure I even want to bother with it anymore.

All he does is complain. I feel like I'm back under my parents thumb. You don't do this good enough, you kid doesn't "pull his share" blah, blah, blah. Every month it's the same thing like a broken record. Never do enough and when you do it's not good enough. Never "listens" to what I say, just hears it and reacts to it.

I love the man, some part of me still does anyway. Now there's this part that just isn't so sure any more. That's tried of the broken promises and the complaints about how I'm supposed to "teach my son responsibility" while his credit sucks, he doesn't pay his bills on time and almost gets fired from work once a week because he can't just keep his mouth shut and go and earn his damn pay check.

I'm supposed to just sit quietly and listen to his crap and when I explain why things are the way they are, I'm blaming him. It's all his fault, oh,boo who! For every action, there is a reaction. Sorry.

If you tell my kid he doesn't put the dishes away right every day for a year, don't sit and wonder why he's stopped doing it. It shouldn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out.

Then he gets mad because I don't "include" him when I "correct" my son. Why should I, it turns into a bash the kid session on his end and my son ends up feeling badly about himself. Correcting someone, doesn't mean you have to make them feel like shit. Sorry. There's a right and wrong way to talk to people and when I try to tell him how to do it, I'm asking him to "kiss the kid's ass!" Hey I'm just asking you talk to him and treat him a little better then you do the damn dog.

Sorry, had to vent. Relationships are a pain in the ass sometimes and sometimes I remember why I stayed single for so damn long. It's always about someone else and there's never any comprimise. Everything has to go their way and it never or rarely seems to go yours.

One Person Can Start A Fire

Thu, 12 Mar 2009 22:03:09 -0400

Full Story

I hope this link works. It's very inspirational. I've seen over the last two years how one person can destroy so many things. They set into motion a chain in events like ripples on a pond that just go on and on and intersect with so many other things.

This man, he did such a great thing and so many others joined in so quickly to help each other through these tough times. I love this story. I just had to share.

I thought we could all use a lift.

Funny Headlines

Tue, 24 Feb 2009 19:02:17 -0500

Cop makes arrest in bathroom after smelling crack

Full Story

Sorry, but I had to share, I didn't read the article, but the headline brought out the 12 year old in me.

A letter to Employees From their Employeer

Mon, 23 Feb 2009 18:02:27 -0500

The following is a letter my uncle sent out to all of his employees and his family members.

Where as I feel for the business, in my opinion, they are not alone in this economic hardship, everyone is feeling the crunch of these hard times.

I feel however, his email is out of line. Anyone else with any thoughts on it?

ETA: That this is apparently meant partially as a joke, I really don't see the humor in it myself. Can anyone else help me out with that?

There have been some rumblings around the various offices about the future of my companies, and more specifically, your job.
As you know, the economy has changed for the worse and presents many challenges. However, the good news is this: The economy doesn't pose a threat to your job. What does threaten your job however, is the changing political landscape in this country,and the "change" you all wanted from the election of 2009.

However, let me tell you some little tidbits of fact which might help you decide what is in your best interests.

First, while it is easy to spew rhetoric that casts employers against employees, you have to understand that for every business owner there is a back-story. This back-story is often neglected and overshadowed by what you see and hear. Sure, you see me park my Audi A 8 outside. You've seen my big home in Jersey for years, until I sold due to property taxes and other "Jersey" add on's. I'm sure; all these flashy icons of luxury conjure up some idealized thoughts about my life.

However, what you don't see is the back-story.

I started this company 41 years ago. At that time, I lived in a 300 square foot below ground apartment for years in Fords,NJ with my wife. My entire living apartment was converted into an office so I could put forth 100% effort into building a company, which by the way, would eventually employ you.

My diet consisted of free meals from my mother-in-law, because every dollar I spent went back into this company. I drove a 1965 Mustang, purchased in H.S., with a defective transmission. I didn't have time to "enjoy" myself. Often times, I hung wallpaper on weekends, while my friends went out drinking and partying. In fact, I was married to my business -- hard work, discipline, and sacrifice.

Meanwhile, my college friends got jobs. They worked 40 hours a week and made $30K a year, a lot of money in the 60s, and spent every dime they earned. They drove flashy cars and lived in expensive homes and wore fancy designer clothes. But me, instead of hitting the Nordstrom's for the latest hot fashion item, I was trolling through the K-Mart or Two Guys extracting any clothing item that didn't look like it was birthed in the 50's.
These same college friends refinanced their mortgages and lived a life of luxury. A life they could not afford. I, however, did not. I put my time, my money, and my life into a business with a vision that eventually, some day, I too, will be able to afford these luxuries my friends supposedly had. That all the things that had been sacrificed during my career would be enjoyed when I became 50 or so. I just turned 60 in December.

So, while you physically arrive at the office at 9am, mentally check in at about noon, and then leave at 5pm, I don't. There is no "off" button for me. When you leave the office, you are done and you have a weekend all to yourself. I unfortunately do not have the freedom. I eat, and breathe my companies every minute of the day. There is no rest. There is no weekend. There is no happy hour. Every day this business is attached to my hip like a 1-year-old special-needs child. You, of course, only see the fruits of that garden the nice house,the summer home in Cape Cod, the Audi A8, and the vacations. You never realize the back-story and the sacrifices I've made. All the things that I missed, all the times I wasn't around when a father was needed.

Now, the economy is falling apart and I, the person that made all the right decisions and saved his money, stayed mentally attuned to the market, have to bailout all the people who didn't. The people that overspent their paychecks suddenly feel entitled to the same luxuries that I earned and sacrificed a decade of my life for.

Yes, business ownership has is benefits but the price I've paid is steep and not without wounds. Ask my family!!!
Unfortunately, the cost of running this business, and employing you, is starting to eclipse the threshold of marginal benefit and let me tell you why:
I am being taxed to death and the government thinks I don't pay enough. I have State taxes, Federal taxes, Property taxes, Sales and Use taxes, Payroll taxes, Workers compensation taxes, Unemployment taxes, and Taxes on taxes. I have to hire a taxman to manage all these taxes and then guess what? I have to pay taxes for employing him. Government mandates and regulations and all the accounting that goes with it now occupy most of my time. On Oct 15th, I wrote a big check to the US Treasury for quarterly taxes. You know what my "stimulus" check was? Zero. Nada.
Zilch.

The question I have is this: Who is stimulating the economy? Me, the person who has provided many people good paying jobs and serves thousands of people per year with a flourishing business? Or, the single mother sitting at home pregnant with her fourth child waiting for her next welfare check? Obviously, government feels the latter is the economic stimulus of this country.

The fact is, if I deducted (Read: Stole) 50% of your paycheck you'd quit and you wouldn't work here. I mean, why should you? That's nuts. Who wants to get rewarded only 50% of their hard work? Well, I agree which is why your job is in jeopardy. More than 50% of my earnings go to support others in the form of taxes.

Here is what many of you don't understand ... to stimulate the economy you need to stimulate what runs the economy. Had suddenly government mandated that I didn't need to pay taxes, guess what? Instead of depositing that large check into the Washington black hole, I would have spent it, hired more employees, and generated substantial economic growth. My employees would have enjoyed the wealth of that tax cut in the form of promotions and better salaries. But you can forget it now.
Business is at the heart of America and always has been. To restart it, you must stimulate it, not kill it. Suddenly, the power brokers in Washington believe the poor of America are the essential drivers of the American economic engine. These are the poor who you see with big screen TV's, SUV's and homes much larger than their pay.

So where am I going with all this?
It's quite simple.

If any new taxes are levied on me, or my company, my reaction will be swift and simple.
I fire you.
I fire your co-workers.
You can then plead with the government to pay for your mortgage, your SUV, and your child's future.
Frankly, it isn't my problem any more.
Then, I will close this company down, move to another country, and retire.
You see, I'm done. Just ask my family members around me. I am burned out and disenchanted and disenfranchised.
My motivation to work and to provide jobs has been destroyed.

If you lose your job, it won't be at the hands of the economy; it will be at the hands of a political hurricane that swept through this country, steam rolled the constitution, and will have changed its landscape forever.You voted for change, guess what, let's just pray you don't get what you want, because there are thousands of John Pattens out there. We have had it...Let the guy standing on the corner hire you...I am sure you will feel good about yourself though, but you children won't.... If that happens, you can find me sitting on a beach, retired, and with no employees to worry about....
I have sacrificed for it, and have earned it.