dogmom's Open Salon Blog

We are not alone!

Thu, 25 Aug 2011 00:08:50 -0400

In April, my (then 7-year-old) son developed what we called "chicken neck." He had a weird twitchy thing going on in his neck. Can't describe it. Not popping, not jutting forward, but kind of a jutting forward/sideways. Happened a lot. Looked stupid (especially playing goalie). Drove me crazy! I was about ready to take him to the doctor to make sure it wasn't physical, like an undiagnosed sports injury. A nurse friend (also a mother of same-aged children) felt his neck, didn't feel anything wrong, suggested waiting until school was out and see if it subsided. Possibly nervous habit. It did.

But it was immediately replaced by what we call "the face" or "the face thing." The best I can describe it is that he sticks out his tongue, licks the mustache-area, and immediately wipes it with the bottom lip. It's chapped constantly. He has a constant spit slime on his upper lip. I've nagged him so much that he now compulsively wipes it with the back of his hand. I fined him. I nagged him. I compulsively added chapstick or vaseline. I threatened him. I smacked his hand. Nothing worked.

He had his routine 8-year-old checkup today. I called ahead to alert the doctor to be watching for it so we could discuss it naturally, rather than my "tattling." Of course, the boy didn't do it! I could see the doctor looking at me, rather sympathetically, like "well, what do we do now?" The child is busy, but he loves everything he's doing, doesn't want to quit anything, and still has time for homework, play dates, TV, video games, and free-play. Swears it's not nervousness making him do it. (And refuses to believe he looks completely mental doing it!)

So tonight I finally looked online for similar problems. (Don't know why it took me so long.) Yes, my pound of Vaseline at night, both as healer and preventer, is good. Olive oil works well, too. But a potential culprit that fits his M.O.? Dehydration!! From sippy-cup-addict to refuser-of-all-fluids-pushed-constantly-in-an-arid-climate? TOTALLY FITS!!

Tomorrow is a new day ...

How I just spent $115 on a "secondary" birthday gift

Wed, 21 Jul 2010 23:07:54 -0400

You may or may not be familiar with Zhu Zhu Pets, aka Go Go Pets in other parts of the world. They're cute little robotic hamsters, which my son (turning 7 in 2 weeks) will be giving to his girlfriend at her birthday next week (yes, he's "dating" a slightly older woman).

I'd managed to avoid the craze in our home. "You have a real pet rat. You don't need a toy hamster pet." Worked wonderfully.

Until Kung Zhu. Recently introduced, these are more the "boy" version. (Yes, I'm aware I'm using way too many quotation marks.) These same sweet little hamsters are now geared more toward boys (but notice I used "toward," not "towards," and placed the comma correctly inside the quotation marks, and more annoying quotes.) Problem: the real rat isn't going to "fight" another rat, and it wouldn't be cute if it did, and we only have the one anyway.

Anyway, Kung Zhu mixes martial arts fighting with cute hamster robots. He really wanted one, so I put it on his birthday list. His grandparents sent money for a Wii game, and I had some left over, so I thought, okay, why not? Ordered two of the little cuties, what's the harm?

The harm came tonight when I was talking to him about why he wanted them. Mostly to get a cheap, vicarious thrill about how much he wanted them and how cool I was to buy them.

Crap!! The reason he wants them is because of the battle arena and armor. Sold separately. OF COURSE! So rather than waste $20 or so on pets that will disappoint, I went online to buy armor. JUST armor. Not too bad, only $20. Still in budget, hadn't finished my shopping anyway.

Then I remembered the arena. $30. Then I saw the cool "training center" and had to have that. All told, even joining Amazon Prime and some free shipping, just spent $95. ON TOP OF THE $20 I ALREADY SPENT!

So he'd better by God love these things. About $70 of that was out-of-pocket, above what the parents sent. And about $50 more than I'd meant to spend on his birthday.

My only redeeming point is that I love him so much, and I don't want him to have the bitter memory, like I do, that my grandparents were willing to buy me the Barbie Dream House but my parents absolutely vetoed it, for reasons still unknown. (Note to self, ask parents why. Was it being spoiled? God-awful-tacky? Too big for my room?)

I am not one of those parents who lavish everything material on my chid. He understands the value of a dollar. ("The ice cream man sells you one popsicle for $4, but you can buy a whole box of them for $2 at the grocery store.")

So why, and how, did I get sucked into this commercial crap for some $115 that will yield a total of 2 hours of play (please, God, prove me wrong!)?

The $50 (Toy Story 3) and $40 (Super Mario Galaxy 2) Wii games on his wish list that will get about 100 hours of play, without adding much to the toy clutter, are looking better and better ...

White Trash food

Tue, 20 Jul 2010 00:07:19 -0400

I used to use the term "white trash," until a (black) friend gave me the evil eye and told me it was offensive, that there is no term "black trash," only the "n" word and such. She wasn't the type who looks to be racially (or gender-ally) offended, so I believed her and switched to "trailer trash."

Years later, a Latina subordinate (who was the type looking to be offended) took offense. Even though my parents once had a trailer and my in-laws currently do, I took the hint.

I switched to "Springer" figuring that was free choice, so no one could be offended. So far, I've never been confronted. So here is my Springer dinner because a contractor was supposed to come tonight and never showed. (DH is out of town; DS ate a real meal while waiting for the contractor.)

Take a slice of processed bologna
Smear as much cream cheese as it will hold
Add several dill slices or a spear

Roll it or fold it, then enjoy. I haven't had it in years, but it is honestly yummy! The first time I had it, at a company pot-luck, we all joked that the contributor must be pregnant. Even though I've never eaten it while pregnant, I love it whenever I happen to have the ingredients.

Sounds disgusting, but it's actually good. So, whether or not you're white trash, trailer trash, a Springer fan, or a foodie, give it a try.

I'm tongue-in-cheek about what to call it, but really, I ate 4 of these tonight, and they're still good.

My son is still not gifted

Fri, 16 Jul 2010 00:07:32 -0400

Year 2, better results, but now barely "average" instead of "way below." He's still technically too young for these tests, so I'm not worried. He's a geek. He is reading and doing math, voluntarily in the summer, 2-3 grade levels above his age.

His school is aware of the discrepancy. The principal has hand-picked one of two teachers next year who will be especially able to stretch him academically, just deciding who can handle his immaturity best, plus balancing ability, gender, etc., in the classroom.

The district is aware he's falling through the cracks and has assigned the district Gifted & Talened coordinator to monitor him, make sure his needs are met, look for more evidence to get him in the progam. (If they're this interested and believing in his brightness, why can't they just get him in?)

But I've also gained a maturity and perspective since last year. I actually don't care if he gets in the program. I would be nervous and hesitant if he got in, after hearing some snotty moms' comments about "the class was already too big last year, and they're letting more in?" (The class is about 12, and a regular class is 22.)

What I do care about now, which I think is the most healthy approach, is making sure he's interested, challenged, kept out of too much trouble, and loves school. At home, I'm reading books to him that are way beyond his level, my childhood books, to encourage the magic of reading. (We just finished A Wrinkle in Time, which he loved so much that we're not reading A Wind in the Door.) And I'm giving him math homework because he loves it.

Because honestly? If he learns to learn, learns to love books, learns to love learning, keeps the love of numbers, overcoms the immaturity issues of being a young/only child/boy, he's going to be fine no matter what class he's in.

A quick poll

Thu, 15 Jul 2010 09:07:38 -0400

Something just occurred to me. I've known it in the back of my mind for years, but rarely think of it: I accidentally named my son after the first boy I had sex with.

My husband doesn't know, and I will never tell him. My parents might, if they haven't repressed the memory like I did. My sister might, but doubtful. No one else on the planet, except you, Gentle Readers (Miss Manners' term).

How did this happen? Well, even though I was traumatized by my post-coital broken heart. I eventually got over it, forgave him for his duplicitous heart, and moved on. Got married, years later unexpectedly got pregnant, and found out it was a boy.

The deal was, dad names a boy, mom names a girl, the other has veto power. Hubby came up with James. Strong, Biblical name. Also my son's half-brother's middle name, which we asked for and received permission from said half- brother. Dad was thinking James from the Bible, Jimi for short (as in Hendrix, duh). I was going to veto the spelling, but thankfully, it was immediately clear he was a James, not a Jimi/Jimmy.

The problem was, two years later, it somehow crept into my subconscious that James Overby (may he rot in hell, oh wait, I've forgiven him) was my first lover. Oh crap. Too late now!! No going back, nothing to be gained from telling hubby. Only think of it now about every few years.

So the question is: has anyone else ever accidentally, or on purpose, named their child after their first lover who is not the child's other parent? (Obviously, if you marry your first lover and name a child after that person, it's totally okay.) And if you did, did your spouse/significant other know?