Drewonimo's Open Salon Blog

Baked Florida: a Battle of Hot vs. Cold

Mon, 30 Jan 2012 16:01:28 -0500

Florida. For me, the word always conjurs up a collision of hot and cool: sun-baked sand vs. iced sweet tea. Swampy night air meets a cool, tart slice of key lime pie.

And now , on the eve of the Florida GOP primary, we have Newt vs. Mitt – classic hothead vs. cold capitalist. It's an epic battle, to be sure, of super PACs and super egos, the authentic bully vs. the fraudulent "job creator." If you're like me, you're already exhausted by the non-stop coverage, not to mention the ever-further drift of political discourse from the reality of actual lives. What had already jumped the shark has now jumped the moon, and the rest of us are wondering where, exactly, all this hot air leads.

This calls for a distraction.

I nominate Baked Florida, my culinary mash-up of key lime pie and Baked Alaska, a creation designed to soothe even the bitterest of palates.

What may sound grandiose at first, is surprisingly simple; it's nothing more than key lime ice cream on a tart cookie crust covered in meringue and given 15 minutes of hot oven treatment. The result is a dessert that's light, cool and creamy, a treat that defies expectations – not to mention the heat of battle.

So whether you're approaching the fracas in Florida with detached bemusement or engorged with media bloodlust, celebrating a primary loss or suffering a cataclysm, smacking your lips with satisfaction or licking your wounds in defeat – I humbly offer you this tasty confection to help put it all in perspective. We all need perspective; even Ron Paul.

In the end you'll be smacking your lips and licking your plate. On this, we can all agree.

Recipe: Baked Florida

The ice cream:

A classic key lime pie is essentially a custard where the acid from the lime juice curdles the egg yolks and condensed milk. (Think of it as kind of a dessert ceviche.) A quick trip to the oven firms things up. The first iteration of Baked Florida, though delicious, was a little more icy than creamy so I borrowed from a more typical custard ice cream recipe and added heavy cream.

The lime juice still does most of the work but instead of a trip to the oven, a few minutes on a stove top will get your custard ready for the ice cream freezer.

2 cups of heavy cream
6 egg yolks (save the whites for later)
1 15 oz. can of sweetened condensed milk
½ cup of fresh lime juice (about 8-10 key limes or 3 large limes)
the zest of two limes

First, line a medium sized metal or glass bowl with plastic wrap and put in the freezer.

Over medium low heat, gently bring 1 ½ cups of the heavy cream to a simmer.

In a bowl, gradually beat the hot cream into the egg yolks. When smooth, return the mixture to the stove and, stirring constantly with a whisk, heat the custard until it starts to thicken.

Be careful not to let the custard stick or overcook. You’ll end up with curdled muck. If you’ve maintained a smooth mix, remove from the stove and pour into a medium sized bowl. If your custard is starting to get lumpy, don’t despair. Just force it through a mesh sieve into the bowl and you’ll be fine.

Let the custard cool a bit and then mix in one at a time: the lime juice, the sweetened condensed milk and the ½ cup of remaining heavy cream. Chill for at least 2 hours. If you’re in a hurry, half an hour in the freezer will work, as long as you don’t let it start to ice.

Once thoroughly chilled, pour the custard into your ice cream maker and have at it.

The ice cream will be ready when it’s the consistency of soft serve. Sprinkle the lime zest over the top and fold in with a few strokes of a spatula or wooden spoon.

Next, transfer the ice cream to your plastic lined bowl and smooth down flat with a rubber spatula. Cover and freeze a minimum of 3 hours and a maximum of 8 — any longer and you run the risk of getting icy cream.

The base:

Now truthfully, there’s a lot of leeway in what you can use as your base. The key is you’re making an insulating layer between the bottom of the ice cream and the oven. You can go with a round thin layer of sponge cake or Angel food and, if doing so, for Pete’s sake, use a mix. You could make a layer of shortbread baked in a round. But I think the simplest and tastiest match is to make a standard crumb crust.

When I first made this dessert, I used Pepperidge Farms Lime Spritzers Cookies for my crumbs and the sweet tart taste was divine. But sadly, they are pretty difficult to find anymore (Amazon, you have failed me). So try lemon coolers or standard graham crackers. Ginger snaps work great too — really, any simple dry cookie that will complement a citrus dessert.

1 ½ cups cookie crumbs
¾ stick of melted butter (6 tablespoons)
¼ cup sugar
1 tablespoon lime zest to taste (optional)

Pulverize your cookies in a food processor, then measure out the crumbs.

Add the melted butter, sugar and, depending on the cookie you’ve chosen, additional lime or lemon zest. Process until mixed and then spread on the bottom of a 10-inch round spring-form pan.

Using the bottom of a measuring cup (a big fat glass one works perfectly), tamp down the crumb mixture evenly across the pan. Unlike a cheesecake crust, you don’t need to create a lip around the edge. A flat crust will work best.

Instead of the oven, put the crust in the freezer and give it at least a few hours to firm up solid.

The meringue:

About 15 minutes before you’d like to serve your creation, crank up your oven to 425º. Remove the top oven rack so you have plenty of head room.

Now prepare a standard soft meringue:

6 egg whites, room temperature
½ teaspoon cream tartar
¾ cup of powdered or superfine sugar
½ tsp of vanilla extract

Beat the egg whites and cream tartar in a clean metal or glass bowl until soft peaks form. (Important: make sure there is no grease in the bowl or on the beaters. Also be careful to remove any small bit of yolk that may have gotten in your whites. Fat will prevent the proteins of the egg whites from coagulating and you’ll never get the height you want.)

Gradually add the sugar, beating on high until you have stiff, glossy peaks.

Quickly beat in the vanilla.

Assembly:

This is as easy as pie but you you’ll have to be quick or you’ll end up with a big sticky mess. (Ask me about the time I attempted a working ice cream volcano to ring in the millennial New Year – a complete Y2K disaster.)

Remove your crumb base from the freezer and release the bottom of the spring-form from it’s sides. Place it centered on a round pizza pan.

Remove your ice cream bowl from the freezer. Loosen around the top edges with a thin spatula or knife then upend the bowl under running hot water for 30 seconds or so, using your hand to support the ice cream and plastic wrap underneath.

When the ice cream mound is loosened free, use the underlying plastic wrap to upend directly on to your crumb base.

Working quickly, use a spatula or cake knife to cover the ice cream and base with a thick layer of meringue. Without belaboring the process, try to have an even layer on all sides, making sure to create a seal around the bottom edge.

Put in the very center of the oven on your lowest rack and bake 8-10 minutes, until you have a golden brown on most of the meringue.

Remove from the oven, slide the cake round off the pizza pan onto a serving plate and — voila! — there you have it, Baked Florida, just like Aunt Ida never made.

Serve immediately. Serves 8-12. If needed, this recipe doubles easily.

Leftovers: There won’t be any. But in the unlikely event, cover in plastic and pop it in the freezer. It’ll make a great starter for Baked Nevada.

Seriously.

This is a revival of a prior OS post I rejiggered to fit the hour of our need. Go here for the original post and back story on the creation of Baked Florida.

At Last: the Undying Realness of Etta James

Sat, 21 Jan 2012 22:01:58 -0500

With the passing of Etta James on Friday, we lost one of the greats, a performer who crossed genres with ease while never sounding the least bit compromising of her own essential authenticity.

That's what I think of first when I think of Etta James: her authenticity, her "realness."

Since I began focusing my work on oral history and documentary film, my appreciation for the quality of "realness" in our popular culture has only grown. Let's be honest; we're a society that's being advertised to, spun to, lied to and otherwise punk'd within an inch of our lives. In an ever more artificial and virtual world, our hunger for authenticity only grows.

Take the growing obsession with reality TV, for example. This isn't just an expression of our latent voyeurism; it's a response to our human need to come into contact with that which reveals our own inner lives, our truths. Never mind that reality TV often does exactly the opposite. You have to hand it to Hollywood for at least acknowledging the popular hunger for "realness" – even if they're too often serving it up in it's most reductive form.

I don't know if Etta James set out to satisfy any such hunger. More likely she was simply living. James was that rare artist that never departed from her essential truths but instead knew instinctively how to mine them for gold. In giving her pain, longing, lust and sentiment honest expression with each performance, she made the personal universal. It's that skill – and authenticity – that will make her voice one for the ages.

Long live the voice of Etta James. Long live Her Realness.

Here's an excerpt from my True Stories Project film Inlaws & Outlaws, a cover of James' signature song "At Last" by the very talented Felicia Loud. Enjoy.

"At Last" performed by Felicia Loud. From Inlaws & Outlaws, a True Stories Project film. Written by Mack Gordon and Harry Warren. Published by EMI Feist Catalog, Inc. Produced by Eric Lane Barnes & Drew Emery. Used by permission.

Pink Freud: Mitt's Magic Slip

Fri, 13 Jan 2012 23:01:05 -0500

Much has been made of Mitt Romney's tone deaf gaffes over the past few weeks. Most recently, his back-to-back statements about pink slips and firing people will likely cast him forever as the 0ut-of-touch plutocrat of Barack Obama's reelection dreams.

Some have risen to Romney's defense, pointing out that the now infamous "I like to be able to fire people who provide services for me" has, indeed, been taken out of context – that is, the context he intended (free market choices for health insurance).

Yet there is a larger context that simply can't be ignored; these statements aren't gaffes because they're literally untrue or unacceptable. They're gaffes because they confirm what most already suspect about Governor Romney; despite his claim to understanding the economy, he clearly has no understanding of or appreciation for the actual struggles millions of Americans are going through.

Message: you're out of touch, Mitt.

Governor Romney, by virtue of your own lack of self-awareness, you shall forever forth be known as The Man in the Freudian Slip.

Apologies to cross-dressers and Photoshop jockeys. I did my best.

Baked Florida: a Brand New Ice Cream Classic

Mon, 12 Jul 2010 09:07:45 -0400

Oh man, remember those hot sticky summer days of your childhood, all the cousins and neighbor kids tearing through the yard chasing after June bugs, fueled on nothing but sun and popsicles? Those fabulously long summer days culminating with a big family dinner — a clam bake or lobster boil or barbecue — and all topped off with that most special of special desserts, Aunt Ida’s smooth, tart, oven-defying ice cream treat, Baked Florida?

Of course you don’t. I made it up.

Yet, my friends, just like climate change, Baked Florida is real. And you’re going to love it.

First, the back story:

My dear friend Quinten is, like me, a connoisseur of unusual desserts. But, like me, he’s also more a pie person than a cake kind of guy. Q’s from St. Pete, Florida and on his birthday, what he would routinely request was a classic key lime pie. I was always happy to oblige him as a slice of cool key lime pie does goes down awfully nicely on a warm day — and it’s ridiculously easy to make. (Every can of condensed milk has more or less the same recipe on the inside of the label. Which begs the question: which came first, sweetened condensed milk or key lime pie?)

Back to our story. After several years of making Quinten his beloved birthday pie, I began to tire of the routine. So one year, I found myself in the kitchen with all the pie ingredients positively hungering for something new, a challenge. Coincidentally, I had recently purchased one of those nifty Cuisinart ice cream makers and had been regularly adding to my bottom line with a steady diet of delicious home made ice creams. Then lightning struck — what if I put the pie filling in the ice cream maker instead of the oven?

What if, after freezing, I topped my ice cream pie with meringue and gave it the Baked Alaska treatment — ten minutes in the oven at 425º? Thus was born this humble yet glorious culinary mash-up: Baked Florida.

It has all the hallmarks that make Baked Alaska such a treasure; it’s rare, elegant, and has that playful element of surprise that comes from pulling a cool ice cream treat from a piping hot oven. But handily, it also has all the winning traits that make Quinten lust after key lime pie; it’s tart, creamy and surprisingly easy to pull off.

So here you go, just in time for this summer of overheated auguries, a season crying out for lightness and adaptation: Baked Florida, my favorite ice cream dessert, where the freezer and the oven duke it out and the freezer is the champ.

Baked Florida

The ice cream:

The lime juice still does most of the work but instead of a trip to the oven, a few minutes on a stove top will get your custard ready for the ice cream freezer.

2 cups of heavy cream
6 egg yolks (save the whites for later)
1 15 oz. can of sweetened condensed milk
½ cup of fresh lime juice (about 8-10 key limes or 3 large limes)
the zest of two limes

First, line a medium sized metal or glass bowl with plastic wrap and put in the freezer.

Over medium low heat, gently bring 1 ½ cups of the heavy cream to a simmer.

In a bowl, gradually beat the hot cream into the egg yolks. When smooth, return the mixture to the stove and, stirring constantly with a whisk, heat the custard until it starts to thicken.

Once thoroughly chilled, pour the custard into your ice cream maker and have at it.

The ice cream will be ready when it’s the consistency of soft serve. Sprinkle the lime zest over the top and fold in with a few strokes of a spatula or wooden spoon.

The base:

1 ½ cups cookie crumbs
¾ stick of melted butter (6 tablespoons)
¼ cup sugar
1 tablespoon lime zest to taste (optional)

Pulverize your cookies in a food processor, then measure out the crumbs.

Add the melted butter, sugar and, depending on the cookie you’ve chosen, additional lime or lemon zest. Process until mixed and then spread on the bottom of a 10-inch round spring-form pan.

Instead of the oven, put the crust in the freezer and give it at least a few hours to firm up solid.

The meringue:

About 15 minutes before you’d like to serve your creation, crank up your oven to 425º. Remove the top oven rack so you have plenty of head room.

Now prepare a standard soft meringue:

6 egg whites, room temperature
½ teaspoon cream tartar
¾ cup of powdered or superfine sugar
½ tsp of vanilla extract

Gradually add the sugar, beating on high until you have stiff, glossy peaks.

Quickly beat in the vanilla.

Assembly:

Remove your crumb base from the freezer and release the bottom of the spring-form from it’s sides. Place it centered on a round pizza pan.

When the ice cream mound is loosened free, use the underlying plastic wrap to upend directly on to your crumb base.

Put in the very center of the oven on your lowest rack and bake 8-10 minutes, until you have a golden brown on most of the meringue.

Remove from the oven, slide the cake round off the pizza pan onto a serving plate and — voila! — there you have it, Baked Florida, just like Aunt Ida never made.

Serve immediately. Serves 8-12. If needed, this recipe doubles easily.

Variation: Now if this isn’t playful or creative enough for you and you want to make a political statement; consider dotting the pristine white meringue with little licorice tar balls.

Well no, don’t do that. Just make the Baked Florida as is and glory in the miracle of an ice cream dessert tailor-made for climate change.

Leftovers: There won’t be any. But in the unlikely event, cover in plastic and pop it in the freezer. It’ll make a great starter for Baked Delaware.

Seriously.

Free PR Tips for Tea Partiers! (Updated!)

Fri, 16 Apr 2010 00:04:36 -0400

Hey there, friendly Tea Partiers:

Apparently many of you think that the press and the pollsters are misrepresenting who you really are. You're getting all this attention but no one seems to get you. Bummer. It's like you're actually really awesome people with legitimate grievances and great ideas on how to make America better – but all that's getting lost under a cloud of insinuation and heavily edited sound bites.

Are you getting a bum rap? Sounds like you need a makeover! Luckily, you have the power to change your public image so that it better reflects who you think you are.

Allow me to offer you a few friendly public relations tips:

Problem: Apparently a lot of people think you're a racist mob.

Solution: Ouch. Even Fox News knows that doesn't play well on TV. But we can fix that! If you don't want to be seen as being racist, try this little trick: Next time someone at a rally hurls a racist epithet or shows a photo of Obama as a witch doctor, why don't you be the first ones to disavow it? Or, if something unfortunate happens, like someone who happens to be at your rally happens to spit on a black congressman on his way to work, quick, blow the whistle! Condemn the action with your megaphone!

I hear you saying "But... but...some of my best friends..." Stop right there. Never rationalize or deny or make excuses, and God no, do not suggest that the perpetrators are really "plants" from among your detractors. Defensiveness and denial are classic PR mistakes. Never works. This just draws more attention to the problem.

Problem: There seems to be a growing perception that too many among you are bat-shit crazy and willfully unhinged from reality.

Solution: If you think that seeming crazed or unreasonable might possibly hurt your cause, then why not loudly disavow any association with anyone who spouts crazed and unreasonable views? Things like Obama wasn't really born in Hawaii and is secretly Muslim, or "death panels" are going to cull the elderly and disabled, or even the Obama administration is going to outlaw sport fishing... you get the picture. Rule of thumb: Crazy unsubstantiated assertions tend to make you look, um... crazy. You so don't need that.

Problem: Too many are quick to dismiss the substance of your ideas, in particular your calls for smaller government and less deficit spending. (Boy, that must be frustrating.)

Solution: If you want to be seen as having a legitimate concern about spending and the deficit, let's try something counterintuitive. How about rather than ranting about a bunch of tax increases that haven't happened, go ahead and flip this one on its head and loudly and vociferously condemn the huge increases in deficit spending that occurred first under Reagan, then under Bush. Better yet, if you want people to think your goal is to get back to surpluses and pay-as-you-go, then demand a repeal of the Bush tax cuts for the wealthy and restore the Clinton budgetary guidelines. Problem solved! Steal that issue from the Dems and you've got yourself a winner there!

Problem: Too many people think you are hypocrites when it comes to your condemnation of policies that borrow from socialism.

Solution: If you really want folks to believe that you genuinely hate socialism and think it's the death of our country, then demonstrate that you even understand what socialism is. Here's a fun idea: Gather round the TV cameras and burn your Social Security cards and Medicare reimbursement checks. (Think of it as throwing tea into the harbor.) Nothing says patriot more than a little self-sacrifice!

Problem: You're wrapping yourselves in the flag and dressing up as Founding Fathers but too many people still see your tactics as un-American.

Solution: Yes, image control is tricky. Try this: if you want to be seen as being patriots enamored of the Constitution, then how about you make it clear that your followers need to respect other's First Amendment rights rather than shouting them down at town halls and at rallies. (Bonus points for loudly condemning threats and hate speech against duly elected representatives of We the People.) This might sound crazy, but taking the high road might provide the side benefit of having people actually listen to you... Wouldn't that be cool?

Problem: Credibility. No one seems to believe you – like that whole incident of Tea Partiers supposedly yelling racist and homophobic slurs at Congressmen on the Capitol steps? Without instant replay, it's a classic case of He Said/We Said and no one's taking your side!

Solution: Don't despair. There's a surprisingly easy way to gain credibility in situations like this. Stop lying. Does that seem too simple to be true? Trust me. It works like a charm. (Of course, if it's a habit, it's going to be hard – but take it one day at a time and yes you can.) Stop lying. You see, when so many of you who make it onto the TV machine keep peddling easily disprovable falsehoods, no one takes your incoherent arguments seriously. And, from a PR perspective, that's not helpful.

So, next time you have a gathering or a bus tour, why not hire an independent fact checker – like an ombudsperson – and then give that person a big loud gong to chime every time someone says something demonstrably false like Obama's raised our taxes (instead of cutting them), or healthcare reform is going to give free insurance to illegal immigrants (when in fact, they are explicitly excluded from even buying their own coverage). Or the debt has quadrupled under Obama (when even Wikipedia knows better than that).

Have faith that the truth will out! But to get the full benefit, it's got to be true.

Summary: Your movement has potential. You are right that there are lots of serious problems out there and, yep, it's darn frustrating that they're not getting solved. With a little makeover, you can be part of the solution rather than being perceived as being part of the problem.

So go for it! Put a little touch up on that racism and homophobia and jingoism and mean spiritedness and historical myopia and hysterical crazy talk and the lying bullshit lies. It's the little things that make you look bad.

Consider this: Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King both excelled at civil disobedience and built powerful movements around ideas – and, guess what? They succeeded. Why? Because their tactics generated sympathy, not disdain. Admiration, not revulsion. When they maintained their civility, it drew out the ugliness in their opponents and created a unity of purpose that was impossible to ignore.

It also helped that they were on the right side of history.

So, if you really really really believe you are on the right side, then get your shit together and look and act like it. Right now you're not even acting like you want to succeed.

It's more like you're acting out. And while your anger may be therapeutic – take it from a PR guy – it's neither attractive nor persuasive.

Still, good luck all the same.

Your friend,

Drew

P.S. Hey by the way, I was wondering: why do those creepy LaRouche folks feel so at home at your rallies? If I were you, that question would be gnawing at me.

Below: Can you spot the PR no-no's? Look closely.

Update: July 22, 2010. How's that image coming along?

November approaches and everyone's been working so hard to get ready for the big close up: Sharron Angle, Rand Paul, Andrew Breitbart – even Bristol. And yet, somehow, a blemish or two keeps marring your otherwise reasonable and patriotic image. (Have you tried teeth whiteners?)

No matter. With a bit more introspection, I'm sure you'll find your groove. So sit back, pour yourself a nice hot cup of chamomile tea – so calming – and study these images closely for ideas on how you can hone your message and make yourself seem even more appealing.

Racial stereotyping and Islamophobia and xenophobia, huh? If you want message discipline, you can't have all three. Pick two.

This one's a little confusing because the planes aren't flying directly into the buildings. Plus Obama seems happy that the protestors are exercising their Second Amendment rights. What am I missing?

Question: Have you focus grouped the term "reverse slavery"?

It's 2010 and Magic Markers still don't have spell check. But polite is good!

I think involving children sends a very positive "family first" message!

Careful. Sometimes you can be too sophistimacated.

For some reason, when I Google Muslim Marxist, all I get are Tea Party Signs. Do you know why?

Now we're getting somewhere. Nothing stirs the spirit like the "ick factor."

Subtle coded outreach to Jewish allies can't possibly fail. Right?

True, one form of equality is to offend and alienate absolutely everybody.

Drewonimo's Open Salon Blog

Baked Florida: a Battle of Hot vs. Cold

Recent Posts:

At Last: the Undying Realness of Etta James

At Last: the Undying Realness of Etta James

Pink Freud: Mitt's Magic Slip

Baked Florida: a Brand New Ice Cream Classic

Recent Posts:

Free PR Tips For Tea Partiers! (Updated!)

Free PR Tips for Tea Partiers! (Updated!)

Update: July 22, 2010. How's that image coming along?