Hesham A. Hassaballa's Open Salon Blog

Somebody He Used to Know

Fri, 1 Jun 2012 01:06:57 -0400

http://www.chicagonow.com/midwestern-muslim/2012/06/somebody-he-used-to-know/

I first heard this song on Saturday Night Live, when Gotye was the musical guest. The song was quite intriguing, with a really cool sound and tempo. When I listened to it more closely, the story of the song intrigued me even further. When you listen to the narrator, you feel for him:

Now and then I think of when we were together
Like when you said you felt so happy you could die
Told myself that you were right for me
But felt so lonely in your company
But that was love and it's an ache I still remember

You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
Like resignation to the end, always the end
So when we found that we could not make sense
Well you said that we would still be friends
But I'll admit that I was glad that it was over

The chorus, however, really surprised me because he is still bitter about the break up:

But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough
No you didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records and then change your number
I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just somebody that I used to know

I mean, if he was "glad that it was over," why was he so bitter about her making it "out like it never happened"? Who cares, if he was so lonely when he was with her? But, then, I get the other side of the story, and my sympathy for the narrator wanes...quite a bit:

Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over
But had me believing it was always something that I'd done
And I don't wanna live that way
Reading into every word you say
You said that you could let it go
And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know

Ahh, I think to myself, it seems that he was not that innocent. That he had sins of his own to which he had to own up. But, then, he repeats his bitter diatribe:

But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough
No you didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records and then change your number
I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just somebody that I used to know

This exchange reminds me that, whenever you judge between two people, you must hear both sides of the story. And, for some reason, it also reminded me of this story of King David in the Quran:

And yet, has the story of the litigants come within thy ken - [the story of the two] who surmounted the walls of the sanctuary [in which David prayed]? As they came upon David, and he shrank back in fear from them, they said: “Fear not! [We are but] two litigants. One of us has wronged the other: so judge thou between us with justice, and deviate not from what is right, and show [both of] us the way to rectitude.

“Behold, this is my brother: he has ninety-nine ewes, whereas I have [only] one ewe - and yet he said, ‘Make her over to me,’ and forcibly prevailed against me in this [our] dispute.” Said [David]: “He has certainly wronged thee by demanding that thy ewe be added to his ewes! Thus, behold, do many kinsmen wrong one another [all] save those who believe [in God] and do righteous deeds: but how few are they!”

And [suddenly] David understood that We had tried him: and so he asked his Sustainer to forgive him his sin, and fell down in prostration, and turned unto Him in repentance. (38:22-24)

Some commentators have said that this "trial" for David was the fact that he did not hear the side of the other brother; some others say that this "trial" was a reminder of another sin. Regardless, listening to this song reminded me of King David. And soon thereafter - of course - it reminded me of King David's King: the Precious Beloved Lord our God.

Whenever human relationships go sour, it is common that one (or both) may totally blot out any reminder or evidence of their former partner, leading to the bitter complaint of this song's narrator. It is very common for the former partner to be relegated to simply "somebody [he or she] used to know," or in the case of PM Dawn, "one of those corners of [his or her] mind."

Yet, if we were to ever leave the side and path of the Beloved, He would never blot out (or delete) the existence of a previous relationship. He would remain waiting for us to come back to Him. He would give us respite and ample time to come back to His side. It is possible - however sad that would be - that one day we would have God as "somebody that [we] used to know." But, the Precious Beloved would not diminish us to that level. We would always remain precious to Him, no matter what.

And when we would come back, He would remember us just as before, with no gaps, and He would welcome us with open arms. He would greet us with His beautiful, smiling, loving Face, which would melt away any fear or sadness or anxiety that we may have. He would not be bitter or angry that we left or strayed away, even though we may feel terrible at our having left His Beautiful Side. Our Beloved would make us feel so welcome, so loved, so blessed, that we would never think to leave His side again.

That is just how Beautiful our Lord is; that is just how Gracious our Master is; that is just how Majestic our King is. That is why He is the Precious Beloved, and He is someone we should always know, every single day of our lives.

Grateful on This Day

Mon, 28 May 2012 12:05:08 -0400

http://www.chicagonow.com/midwestern-muslim/2012/05/grateful-on-this-day/

This year is a rarity for me: being off on Memorial Day. As a physician, I frequently (if not consistently) must work on Memorial Day. I have been blessed to have been able to take this year's holiday off. And I am grateful on this day: to be able to kick back and relax with my family.

Many, if not most, people will be having backyard barbecues and cookouts, picnics and family parties. Yet, we must never forget why we have this day off: to remember those who have given the ultimate sacrifice on our behalf.

Ideally, there should be compulsory military service, like there is in many countries around the world: I mean, if we are to be true citizens, one of those duties is to collectively serve in the defense of our nation. Yet, we don't: we have a voluntary military, and thus, for all of us who elected not to serve in our nation's military, we owe a debt of tremendous gratitude for those who have.

Many of those fellow citizens joined the military out of a sense of duty; others followed in a family tradition; and many others joined out of necessity. Whatever the cause, they do all of us civilians a great service, and thus to them I am very grateful on this day.

Indeed, some members of our military have done some things that are wrong; they have committed crimes with the American flag - our flag, our symbol - on their shoulder. Yes, they should be tried and punished if convicted. But, that doesn't mean they are all evil like that. It doesn't mean that our country is like what they did. Still, we should be grateful for the military for, again, doing something on our behalf that, ideally, we all should be doing.

If we don't like where the military is deployed, that is our right. And thus, we should seek to change - through legal means - the policies that lead to their deployment. That means getting involved and changing those that make the policies through the electoral process. But, we should always be grateful for those who are sent abroad to fulfill their policies. And I am just that on this day.

Yes, it is nice to be off today, and I doubt I will have the same blessing next year. But, as I am enjoying my time off, one eye in my mind will be on those who have lost their lives - and those who continue to serve - in our nation's military. And on this day, I am very grateful.

Patheos: Why Hatred of Islam is Not Logical

Fri, 25 May 2012 00:05:38 -0400

This first appeared on Patheos.

Time and again, the same illogical claims about Islam keep popping up from various people, whether they are pundits, commenters, or self-styled "experts" on Islam: Islam is "violent," it calls for the "killing of all non-Muslims," Muslims "must hate all non-Muslims," or that Islam is a religion of "domination," not of peace.

Add to this the litany of cultural horrors that some Muslims—but not only Muslims—practice, such as child marriages, female genital mutilation, and so-called "honor killings," and those horrible practices are unfairly projected upon Islam as well.

Of course, there are some Muslim extremists who believe in and do such things. But, those who hate Islam paint the entire faith with the sins of these extremists. There is no nuance, no sophistication to their analysis - whatever the terrorists do is "real Islam," and the actions of the overwhelming majority of peaceful Muslims is a ruse, or taqiyya (dissimulation).

Does no one else see this illogic? Think about it for a moment: If one were to judge the United States by the actions of its criminals, it would be easy to think that America is a truly terrible place, full of murderers, rapists, thieves and thugs. But, everyone knows and understands that America is not defined by the actions of its criminals.

The same is true with the misdeeds of American soldiers overseas. Whether it is those soldiers who urinated on Taliban corpses or the soldier who allegedly shot and killed dozens of civilians, including children, everyone knows (and says) that their actions do not reflect the reality of America and its people. And, this is completely true.

Extremism is not the norm

When it comes to Islam, however, no such logic prevails. The worst actions of the worst extremists are projected upon the whole of the faith. Think about this for a moment: If Islam were this horrific, barbaric faith that calls for the murder of all who are not Muslim, that calls for perpetual war against the whole world, that keeps people in its fold upon pain of death, that oppresses women as a matter of principle, would it have endured for 15 centuries?

Would Islam have stayed relevant for more than 1.5 billion people on this earth? Would it have been the source of strength and comfort for so many people if it were truly this violent ideology that calls for people to be "terrorists all the time"?

Some may claim that the military victories of the Islamic empire are the cause of the widespread presence of Islam all over the world. But the "Islamic empire," if there ever was one, did not last forever. It was overtaken by many a conqueror: the Mongols, the Ottomans and most recently the Europeans. Yet, Islam endured. If Islam was this "barbarian cult" that kept its adherents in the faith by fear of the sword, why wasn't there a mass exodus of Muslims from the faith when the Mongols nearly destroyed the Islamic caliphate?

There wasn't. In fact, the Mongol conquerors eventually accepted Islam themselves. Why wasn't there a mass exodus of Muslims (those who survived the massacres of the conquest of Jerusalem in 1099) from the faith when the crusaders came to the Holy Land? There wasn't. Islam endured. Why wasn't there a mass exodus of Muslims from the faith when the European colonizers came with their guns and steel (and missionaries)? There wasn't. Islam endured.

Would a "barbarian cult" of violence and war produce the writers, poets and philosophers of the Islamic world? Would a "barbarian cult" produce the beautiful architecture of southern Spain that stands to this day? Would a "barbarian cult" produce the poetry of Rumi, who is the best-selling poet in the United States for many years now? Would a "barbarian cult" preserve the writing of the ancient Greeks, writings that St. Thomas Aquinas used to formulate his philosophy?

Of course not.

Some claim that Al Qaeda is the "true face" of Islam, the reality of what Islam stands for. This is patently false. Muslims all over the world overwhelmingly have rejected the philosophy and tactics of Al Qaeda,because of Islam and its teachings. Osama bin Laden himself fretted over the brutality of Al Qaeda and its alienation of Muslims everywhere.

Some claim that the Arab Spring and the overthrow of regimes all across the Arab world are due to Al Qaeda. This is absolutely absurd. The popular uprisings all across the Arab world are a loud and clear rejection of Al Qaeda and its philosophy.

Why Islam has endured

Throughout its history, the Muslim majority world has faced many a crisis, both from within and without. Through all them, the Islamic faith has endured. Islam has endured as a source of comfort, strength, faith and spiritual renewal for more than a billion people. This is because of its message of peace and tolerance, love and brotherhood, faith and service, charity and altruism.

Yes, there are Muslim extremists who use Islam to justify their barbarism. Yes, there are some Muslims who do all the terrible things that people say "all Muslims" do. But, they are extremists, criminals and murderers. They do not represent the whole.

If you quote the Quran out of context, or misquote it, or quote some medieval text of Islamic jurisprudence, you can make Islam out to be the "cult of the devil." But it would no more represent the truth about Islam than pedophile priests represent the truth about the Catholic Church. It is an illogic of hatred. Would that more people see through this illogic and reject it.

The Blasphemy of "Anti-Blasphemy" Laws

Fri, 18 May 2012 02:05:06 -0400

This first appeared on Beliefnet.

I first learned about the law – that passed the Kuwaiti parliament – on a ChicagoNow blog post entitled “Kuwait theocracy declares Islam is weak.” The law calls for the death penalty for insulting the Prophet Muhammad, his wives or relatives. Apparently, this was in response to the arrest of a Shi’ite Muslim who allegedly insulted the Prophet and his wife on Twitter (he denied doing so and claims his account was hacked). The law now goes before the Emir, who has to approve it for it to take effect.

This law is similar to other so-called “anti-blasphemy” laws that have passed in other Muslim countries. The irony of these laws is this: they are – in and of themselves – quite blasphemous.

If you pass a law that imposes the death penalty on those who insult God, or Islam, or the Prophet Muhammad, you imply that God is unable to defend Himself, that He needs us to defend His honor, or His dignity, or His majesty, or His magnificence.

How absurd.

Now, of course, I do not like it when God is cursed or mocked, or when the Prophet is maligned or attacked. Far from it. Having said that, however, I do not believe that anyone who does such a thing should be killed. God forbid!

The Quran talks about the mockery of God’s signs and messages, and nowhere does it say “kill those who engage in such behavior.” Nowhere:

And, indeed, He has enjoined upon you in this divine writ that whenever you hear people deny the truth of God’s messages and mock at them, you shall avoid their company until they begin to talk of other things - or else, verily, you will become like them. Behold, together with those who deny the truth, God will gather in hell the hypocrites (4:140)

"I'm Glad You Came"

Wed, 16 May 2012 15:05:49 -0400

My wife and daughters really like the song by the band "The Wanted" called "Glad You Came." When I hear the song, it makes me think of all the wonderful people that I have been blessed with in my life:

The sun goes down
The stars come out
And all that counts
Is here and now
My universe will never be the same
I'm glad you came

You cast a spell on me, spell on me
You hit me like the sky fell on me, fell on me
And I decided you look well on me, well on me

When these people came to me, indeed, "my universe" was never "the same," and I am so very glad they came. First and foremost is my wife: she came to me at a particularly dark moment in my life, and ever since, it has been forever lighted. I can say truly that, without her, I would not have been who I am and where I am today. I have been perpetually blessed by the presence of my wife, and I am glad she came.

And because of my wife, I have been blessed to have my children. I love them all, and I am so grateful that they came into my life. This is especially true of my eldest daughter, whom we lost to cancer almost three years ago. I am so very glad she came. She brought me so much joy, so much happiness, and even though she had significant disability, she filled my heart with a love I have never known could exist before. Every day, my heart aches in the pain of knowing that we can't be together, that she can't grace our lives with her light, her love, her smile, and her grace. But, even though her time was so very short with us, I am so very, very glad she came.

The list can go on and on: those people that have graced my life with love, or familial ties, or friendship, or humor, or collegiality, or generosity. They are too numerous to count, and they have each, in their own way, "hit me like the sky fell on me," making me very glad that they all came. Yet, whenever I reflect over all those people that have made me glad they came, I cannot help but think about the One Who has sent them all to me: my Precious Beloved Lord Supreme.

I am so very glad He came into my life. Actually, He has always been there for me, from the very beginning. And He never really "left" for Him to come to me. Yet still, whenever I would ask for Him, He came so very fast and with a comfort that is unlike any other. When I asked for His grace in sending me a spouse, He sent me my wife. When I cried out to Him in the worst pain I have ever felt after my daughter died, He came to me with His love, and His comfort, and His mercy, and His grace. Whenever I need Him, He is right there for me. I am so very glad that He blessed me with the foresight and insight to know to seek His Face and Glory at all times in my life. And when I do, He comes to me running.

It reminds me of a "Sacred Tradition" of the Prophet Muhammad. In it, the Prophet reported that the Lord said:

If anyone approaches Me by a hand-span, I come to him an arm-span. If anyone approaches Me by an arm-span, I come to him two arm spans. If anyone approaches Me walking, I come to him running. If anyone meets Me with mistakes equivalent in weight to the whole earth, having not associated anything with Me, I will meet him with the same amount of forgiveness.

I am so very glad to have an awesome God like this. It is like the Quran says:

Thus, be constant in prayer, and render the purifying dues, and hold fast unto God. He is your Lord Supreme: and how excellent is this Lord Supreme, and how excellent this Giver of Help! (22:78)

Amen to that.