Elizabeth Priddy's Open Salon Blog

Should women breastfeed in military uniform?

Thu, 31 May 2012 00:05:39 -0400

"I think a lot of people think that you can't be a mom and be a soldier," she says. "This is not something that's out of norm for them. They breastfeed in uniform all the time -- it's just not something that's usually captured on film."

Photo: Brynja Sigurdardottir

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So they can kill in that outfit, but not feed and provide for their young?

Women's lives are more complicated than that. Breastfeeding is the most human activity you can perform for another person, your child. It is not the same as defecating and is not a sexual act. There should be no disgrace in doing it while in uniform. Denying natural food to the child when it is available and nourishing is wrong. Not providing it because of your clothing or the juvenile attitudes of others is particularly wrong. Sometimes biology is the most logical and rational teacher. As a culture, we need to grow up. If you can't deal with seeing a woman nurse her infant, what business do you have killing people or ruling them? Even in the macho culture of the military, maybe particularly there, our world needs to welcome women back into normalcy.

I was not able to feed my child because of diabetes. When I see people who can who won't, it breaks my heart for their child. This response isn't judgement of the mother, it is compassionate suffering for the infant and its natural needs. If a woman willingly serves her country, her children in particular should not suffer for her choice and sacrifice.

In the age of science, the fifties, men decided that they should co-opt the feeding of children as women obviously were not able to do this on their own. They did not come up with a solution that is as complex, nourishing, and strengthening as mother's milk. But their canned formula replaced wet-nurses and allowed mothers to opt out of the natural biological act of feeding their children. Now women pump, buy formula, and actually buy other mother's milk to avoid the natural responsibility of feeding their children in favor of other social and cultural pressures. This is evidence of cultural insanity.

Formula, the very best you can buy, is still not as good as mother's milk with regard to standard nutrition, digestion, and immunity transfer. I have not even addressed the normal relationship of a child and its mother regarding bonding and nurturing. I am not a breast-is-best La Leche nazi. I am simply a rational person regarding the course of human evolution and drawing a logical conclusion.

Other ways work and the children survive. But they survive because the human race is flexible and resilient, not because it is the best case scenario. In the case where no natural milk is available, of course science should come to the rescue. But wet-nurses had that covered, too. Why neurotic American men had to co-opt breast feeding is not really a social mystery. The rest of the world for the rest of time did it another way but for the Playboy culture of the 1950's, no aspects of the female breast was off limits.

But disregarding motive, science still has not caught up to a healthy woman's breasts in the quest to feed our offspring. And in my opinion, it should not. It is a last vestige of humanity in the age of Reason, our animal nature coming to bear. We should cling to the wisdom of it rather than submit to the ill will of science for the sake of science. Giving this up is not in the interest of women or equality or feminism or babies.

Being exactly like a man is not the equality we seek as feminists. Being female is different, hence the spelling and the not hairy, soft, beautiful, voluptuous, nourishing breasts. Equality means not punishing or diminishing either sex because of gender issues. It means allowing for differences in a rational way. That is what modern feminism is about. Men are great, woman are great, the two is what makes humanity great. But Working-For-Pay needs to adjust to our humanity, not the other way around. This is true for women and men both. Mothering can take many roads and life formats. Being a mother often requires a lot of hats. Being a soldier and being a mother are compatible with rational adjustments to normal biological differences.

Nature is good. Babies are good. Feeding our babies is good. No matter what you are wearing, no matter what hat you have on, no matter what uniform you don.

http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/military-moms-breastfeeding-uniform-stir-controversey-214500503.html

Lao Tzu #1: 4 Translations

Tue, 29 May 2012 20:05:28 -0400

This will be the first passage for the study group, only to begin at the beginning. I wish we could leave it for last, to sum up. But most people would not want to do it that way.

This is the core of Lao Tzu, the most quoted and often most misunderstood. These 4 tranlations from two women, and two men, one martial arts person, one poet, one scholar, and one simple translator.

How does this apply to your understanding of the universe and your place in it?

What does this mean?

How do the translations change your interpretation and focus within the selection?

Chapter 1 Lao Tzu

Way-making (dao) that can be put into words is not really way-making,

And naming (ming) that can assign fixed reference to things is not really naming.

The nameless (wuming) is the fetal beginnings of everything that is happening (wanwu),

While that which is named is their mother.

Thus, to be really objectless in one’s desires (wuyu) is how one observes the mysteries of all things,

While really having desires is how one observes their boundaries.

These two-the nameless and what is named-emerge from the same source yet are referred to differently.

Together they are called the obscure.

The obscurest of the obscure,

They are the swinging gateway of the manifold mysteries.

-Ames and Hall

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The true way is unknown and so is the untrue way

There are no names to understand it

Creation does not care that it is the source of creation

It emanates from the same “thing”

And it is not without nourishment

Mysteries are revealed

Become Its way

Attain Its perfection

Do not use words to describe no-thing-ness

The three are the same but distinct

One is the Body

One is the Heart

One is the Mind

To understand it as one is the most you can do

It is the path to higher and lesser knowledge.

-Stephen Kaufman

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The way you can go

Isn’t the real way.

The name you can say

Isn’t the real name.

Heaven and earth

Begin in the unnamed:

Name’s the mother

Of the ten thousand things.

So the unwanting soul

Sees what is hidden,

And the ever-wanting soul

See only what it wants.

Two things, one origin,

But different in name,

Whose identity is mystery.

Mystery of all mysteries!

The door to the hidden.

-Ursula Le Guin

The way that can be spoken of

Is not the constant way;

The name that can be named

Is not the constant name.

The nameless was the beginning of heaven and earth;

The named was the mother of the myriad creatures.

Hence always rid yourself of desires in order to observe its secrets;

But always allow yourself to have desires in order to observe its manifestations.

These two are the same

But diverge in name as they issue forth.

Being the same they are called mysteries,

Mystery upon mystery-

The gateway of the manifold secrets.

-Betty Radice

Lao Tzu # 9: 4 Interpretations

Tue, 29 May 2012 09:05:04 -0400

This is a 4 up of different interpretations of Lao Tzu, Chapter 9.

This is the way we will do the study group for Taoism.

With 4 side by side interpretations, it reminds the reader that the original was written in Chinese. Also that each person reading brings part of themself to any text they study.

It frees the reader to accept their own wisdom as they do the offerings of others both in the study group and the writers presented.

Please read and discuss below.

How does this writing apply to your life?

What does it mean in the context of living?

How do the different interpretations change it?

Chapter 9 Lao Tzu

It is better to desist
Than to hold upright and fill it to the brim.
Pounded out into a point
Its sharpness cannot be long maintained

When treasure fills the hall
No one is able to keep it safe.
Those who are arrogant because of station and wealth
Bring calamity upon themselves.

To retire when the deed is done
Is the way (dao) than tian works.

Hall & Ames

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Though you have and hold you do not possess
To maintain control you must let things go
If your house is filled with treasures
Your sleep is always uneasy
You do not know when strangers will approach

Take all you can and dill your coffers with gold
Throwing it back to the crowd be sure to increase your lot
When you have attained fortune and fame
Retire from the world
Enjoy your new ease and grace
This is the way of the wise

Stephen Kaufman

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Brim-fill the bowl,
It’ll spill over.
Keep sharpening the blade,
You’ll soon blunt it.

Nobody can protect
A house full of gold and jade.

Wealth, status, pride,
Are their own ruin.
To do good, work well, and lie low
Is the way of the blessing.

Ursula K. Le Guin

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Rather than fill it to the brim by keeping it upright
Better to have stopped in time
Hammer it to a point
And the sharpness cannot be preserved forever;
There may be gold and jade to fill a hall
But there is none who can keep them.
To be overbearing when won has wealth and position
Is to bring calamity upon oneself.

To retire when the task is accomplished

Is the way of heaven.

Betty Radice

parting the wild horse's mane

Mon, 14 May 2012 00:05:47 -0400

There is a move in tai chi called "pat the wild horse". You turn and make a patting motion toward a small wild horse.

Another is "parting the wild horses mane," which would be brushing its hair out of its eyes.

I live about three miles from the Rachel Carson Nature Reserve. It is a set of islands where wild horses roam freely.

It is directly across from the Beaufort waterfront. I went for a walk and got to see them up close.

Sometimes I go out to a spot on one of the local islands in the evening and do my tai chi 108 set. If I see one of the horses out in the distance, I position myself so that as I turn to pat the wild horse, I have the horse in the distance in my sight between my palms and I actually get to pat it.

That is magical.

Oh, to part the wild horse's mane.....

to pat the wild horse

and then on to part its mane

first, you must find it

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Mothering as an Chosen Activity

Sat, 12 May 2012 18:05:51 -0400

It's mother's day.

For those of us whose mother's have passed, this is always a weird day.

It used to just be sad for me as my mother has long passed, over twenty years now. But the birth of my son in mid-life changed it for me.

It is now filled with the joy only a young boy can bring to a mother. Even though he has decided he is too big to cuddle, he still comes in to be with me in the still of the morning, where he is always welcome. Even if that means that we will be needing a bigger bed.

I have done strange and wild things in my life. But I have found the greatest joy in the mundane. Feeding my kid, washing him, watching him play and grow. Things women have found blessings in for all of our existence. It makes other things seem small.

He just came running in: "Mommy I just redecorated the car with the water pistol! Not inside though!"

I don't dare go look.

I take my son to the pool. He is huge now, just a few inches as tall as me. But we play in the pool for over an hour after school about three days a week. Some days we go play ditch ball instead, a game he invented where we kick a soccer ball back and forth over a small drainage ditch that extends across the local park's baseball field.

When we are in the pool, he pretends to be all of the animals in my taichi set as I practice in the water. He is the monkey I am warding off, the crane that I am making fly away, the bird's tail that I am grasping, the animal that I am sneaking up on like a snake, the tiger who's ears I box. But my favorite is carrying the tiger to the mountain. I had gotten to that part one day and he said, "So what's this one?" I described it, pointing out that the tiger just kind of lies there in that one. He said, "OK, carry me!" And so he jumped up into my arms and I carried him like he was a baby "to the mountain". In the pool is the only place this can happen now that he is too big to cuddle.

One day he said, "Hey Mommy, can I carry you to the mountain?" I had to think about that. It was like a trust fall to have your 7 year old carry you anywhere. So of course we did. And it was awesome.

Today, I was off by myself. I always go off by myself on saturdays. Every saturday with rare exception since my son was born is my time alone with no responsibility except to come back that night. His father has complete responsibility for the care, feeding and general maintenance of the child on saturdays. The rest of the week, I am fully engaged in parenting with my husband. 52 days a year is not too many to ask to get for yourself to be human with out a rider attached.

love relationships

mothers always love their kids

every day is theirs

Photos selected from a purchased Mom and Babies calendar and used under the fair use unpaid art proviso. I would annotate further, but the calendar did not provide any other information and it was a compilation of images from various artists. I am just going to assume that they were paid for at that time.

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