Hermione the Witch's Open Salon Blog

Vow of Silence

Tue, 1 Feb 2011 03:02:06 -0500

Ever since I could remember, I was ( and I still am) trying to please my parents. My mom especially. I tried very hard to always get an A. Anything less than that and I would surely hear it from my mom.

My mom was a public school teacher. Her family grew up poor and she was the first of the 7 brood to finish college. She was always telling me that when she got her first paycheck, all of it was given to my grandmother and the subsequent paychecks until she got married. She also expected the same of me.

The first job I landed was in a private school. I was hired as a teacher. I was being paid around $250 a month. It was good enough for me at the time. My mom expected me to help out with the daily expenses and even told me of how much she is supposed to get from me every month, which is half of my salary. I was ok with it but there came a time when I was short of cash. I asked my mom that I might not be able to give her what I was usually giving her and she was so furious she threatened to throw me out of the house. She refused to accept the money I gave her. I was only 21 at the time and was crying my eyes out. I did not understand why she refused to accept the money.

Because of heartbreak and the increasing fights between me and my mom, I moved out of the house and looked for a job in somewhere far from home. I was enjoying my independence but it was hard to live in Manila. The cost of living is super high and I barely make it monthly. I lost weight because I was trying to save money and food was among those I needed to cut back on. Also, I miss my friends back in the province.

After 4 years of staying in Manila, I decided to go back home. Luckily, I found a job with great benefits. Things between me and my mom were okay, until recently.

I do not know why but everytime I open my mouth, it's like I am always attacking her. She is lately almost always accusing me of verbally assaulting her. I would never do that on purpose. But she seems to think so. I recently had puppies and since I need to go to work, she is taking care of them on weekdays. On weekends, I am expected to stay at home to take care of them because she is tired. I am tired too, working 9 to 6 everyday, sometimes working overtime. After I had the puppies, I felt like I gave birth to a child.

This morning we had one of those fights again. But this time she also attacked the bf. Luckily, he wasn't there to hear it.

That was the last straw. It was one thing to attack me verbally, but it's another thing to attack someone innocent. I don't know what to do anymore.I vowed to keep my mouth shut from now on and have limited communication with her as possible.

But, I still love her. She's my mom still.

Pacquiao: 8 World Titles

Sun, 14 Nov 2010 01:11:19 -0500

Again, Pacquiao dominated the ring as he claimed his 8th title.

Go Pacquiao!

Clinton On His Visit to the Philippines

Sat, 13 Nov 2010 07:11:38 -0500

Ex President Clinton visited the country this month, not his first time. I don't really have a lot of opinion on him. I was only in grade school when he was president of the US. But this time he left an impression.

In one of the press conferences in Manila, someone asked:

You’ve been a long-time observer of the Philippines. You know first-hand each Filipino’sability and potential. Why do you think our nation hasn’t yet, after People Power, after everything we’ve gone through, why haven’t we been able to fulfill that potential?”

Wow. I was only watching this on the news but I could feel the tension in that room. His reply:

On the whole it wasn’t a good advantage for the nation to have been colonized, if you will, by Spain and the United States. . .”

America's colonization of the Philippines is not something you'd read on everyday history textbooks. Even in ours. It's like someone, somebody, does not want us to realize that we have been colonized not just by the Spaniards. What we do read on our textbooks is that America HELPED us after the Spanish colonization and after WWII. We were told we owe a lot to the US. The Americans taught us English. We are the only english speaking nation in the SouthEast Asian region. English is our second language. The US bought the TV, Radio, Coca Cola, and taught us basketball, which is the nation's number one sports.

In college, when we were asked to research about the US-Philippine War, we were astounded that it was way bloodier than WWII when the Japanese were here. There's actually a new film that came out, directed by James Sayles, which depicted this war. I have not checked it out myself and do not know if it is historically accurate but our local historians are pretty much happy with the film.

I was very impressed with Mr. Clinton's response. The question was off mark but he answered it the best way possible. If you have watched the press conference, you could sense that he really thought his answers over.

The US and Philippines relationship may be what you describe as "stifling" but it is refreshing to hear that kind of answer from a former president of a superpower nation.

And Now I Know Why

Tue, 9 Nov 2010 21:11:50 -0500

The other day I had coffee with my friend since high school. I was telling her about OS and how I wrote about being pressured into getting married now. She commented " The thing is, you're 10 pounds overweight that's why he won't marry you yet."

And this comes from a woman (is she really?) who is taking her master's degree in psychology. Great way to make me feel inadequate. Is it reverse pyschology, perhaps?

So now, I am not just pressured to get married, I am also pressured to lose those last 10 pounds. Or else, my lovey dovey will leave me for someone more svelte and slim and marry her.

Sunday night, I set the alarm at 6AM and vowed to wake up early to jog. Brrng! 6AM... 5 more minutes won't hurt...10 minutes...Oops it's 6:45...Damn, i'll just do it tomorrow.

Lunchtime, my co-worker handed out her latest creation, black forest brownies. See, she's a budding pastry chef and i don't want to hurt her feelings if I didn't have any. A piece won't make me into a size of a truck, right? Okay, two pieces are still okay, they're all getting a second piece anyway. Wow, this stuff's really really good! And before I knew it, we all ate the last of the brownie. I don't even know any more how many I ate. I can already hear my honey saying goodbye darling sorry but you missed the deadline and didn't lose the 10 pounds ta-ta my darling maybe in the next life.

Tuesday night, feeling miserable, I am in front of TV watching a gameshow. I refuse to eat even though my stomach feels like it's slowly eating itself. No...must...not..eat...for...the...sake...of...love....ohhh...Phone suddenly rang, it's my honey. "Hey, I bought pizza burgers for us, are you feeling hungry?" Oh my god...is this a test? "Uhm, no not really, but come over here if you feel like it." In thirty minutes he was sitting beside me, and we're both eating burger. One arm wrapped behind my back, me leaning on him. We're both watching Whell of Fortune.

And the extra 10 pounds? I asked if he minds that I have on 10 extra pounds. He responded by pinching my lovehandles. i guess there's a reason behind calling it LOVE handles.

Time's Running Out!

Sun, 7 Nov 2010 19:11:26 -0500

" Your time's running out!" My boss blurted out. " When I was your age I already have three kids".

I hear this a lot lately. People pressuring me to get married now as in now. Okay, I'll confess my age. I am 28. Should I worry?

Bf and I have been dating for almost 3.5 years now. My longest relationship so far. We're both 28. We both have full time jobs we love (most of the time anyway hehe). And he has a house of his own now. So why not right?

Well, first of all, he did not propose yet. I don't want to drop off hints 'cause I don't want him to feel pressured. I know some girls who were the first to ask. Some worked out and some didn't after popping the question. I want him to ask when he feels it's the right time. Do I feel like it's the right time? I don't really.. And if you're thinking that I am too much of a traditionalist, maybe so but not really. Even I am not sure if I AM ready. Maybe you guys can tell me if there are signs or anything that this is the right time.

Number two, we still have our individual goals that we wanted fulfilled. I want to have a solid savings account first. He is wishing for a new car. He can even smell the inside of that car in his dreams. Plus, though we haven't really talked about it, he just started on his full time job like two year ago.While I have been working for 7 odd years now, he was basically a bum before I met him. To which his mom attributed his sudden interest in getting his butt off the couch to me. So bottomline is, he's still working on the money thang.

Boss said my uterus might expire any moment now. Friends say it might be too late for me. Family says it's time.

What can you say?