Jacob Lee Bane's Open Salon Blog

The Silent Anonymity of Being

Tue, 12 Jun 2012 13:06:46 -0400

Through my adventures on the Iberian Peninsula and the shedding of my former addict, I have come to appreciate the deep bond we all share with the natural world around us. As the last few years have gathered pace I have felt less inclined to be a cog in the instamatic machine that drives society to ruin and because of that I feel my eyes have been opened to the real world behind the instant.

I don't want to pretend that I'm 'enlightened' or 'better than you' because I'm not; I'm merely enjoying my awakening and the sense of space and freedom created by leaving behind old habits and so-called friends. I've discussed my place in the universe in previous posts (I am nothing in this infinite expanse of existence) and I cling to my humility because through that I have had the most wonderful, soul enriching experiences of my life.

It took me a long time to realise that I was given this body; a vessel driven by my spirit, my soul in the back seat to savour every experience without uttering a word or calling for attention, so that I may see the world, taste its every opportunity and to help me grow spiritually.

While at a taverna I watched a group of deaf people communicating in sign language, their silent conversation so emphatic and expressive; a fluid dance of hands and arms that was effortless to them, yet mysterious and incredible to me. I was suddenly overcome by gratefulness that I was lucky enough to have been born with all my faculties and senses functioning. I admired their laughter and ease, it helped me realise that despite their supposed setbacks they had found a way to live a normal, unhindered life.

Nature overcomes.

And yet to contradict that philosophy I had an experience with some wild birds while eating cherries in the woods. The bright sun was obscured by pine trees whose June leaves were beginning to strip back to bone and the shadows from higher reaches created collages of deep green, jade, azure blue, gold and brown through which the wind swooshed and birdsong echoed.

A bounty of bright red sourness and deep purple sweetness lay before me and as I began to eat my mono-meal I noticed a flock gathering at the periphery of my vision. Little feet hopped into view and tiny feathered heads cocked in fascination.

I threw a cherry and smiled as the birds pecked and fought over it, throwing a few more to stop the rivalry. I thought how sweet it was to see the birds feeding and waiting for me to throw them more.

And then it hit me; the extent to which our instamatic society and its immediacy has impacted on the natural world around us. That a bird's instinct is to now wait for a human to feed it rather than pat the ground for worms and insects, or forage for fruit and nuts is an alarming realisation. It mirrors the way we humans are fed in the modern world; that we want instant gratification in everything – convenience shopping, fast food, high speed internet, faster transport systems, greater technological efficiency, mega-industry, agribusiness – everything to make our lives more streamline.

And yet nothing does because the easier we supposedly make life, the more demanding it becomes of us.

Are we bastardising nature so much that wildlife is becoming lazy as a symptom of our laziness?

Every year 70 billion animals are killed just to feed humans; the equivalent of almost the entire human population of the planet is farmed, mistreated and killed every single month so that our plates, then stomachs can be filled. And yet there is massive famine and poverty in large areas of the world.

The other side of the coin is the obesity problem facing the western world; 33% of American adults are now clinically obese, a disease which has become more prevalent since food production went industrial and chemical processing became the accepted norm.

“We always check the labels to make sure whatever we buy only has the healthy E numbers,” my dad once said.

It would appear that our efficiency and greed is killing us rather than buying us more freedom and happiness. Add to that, freedom to do what exactly? Go to the cinema? Play video games? Watch junk TV? What soul enriching activities do we enjoy on our days or hours off?

I have come to enjoy the simplicity in life; the shady trees where choirs of birds sing their hymns, the blue of the sky and the bright of the sun, the trickle of water and the rushing of the wind, eating healthy, organic food and practising yoga or meditating on the beach. In those instances, truly living in the vivid, vital moment, I have found peace and joy beyond measure.

I am glad to have taken a step away from our instamatic invasion of the natural world and on the voyage I am meeting so many like minded people. It is said that when we live with gratefulness for the humility and happiness in our lives we begin to attract more of that towards ourselves. Easing away from need frees us from the shackles of consumerism and the culture of “rapid replacement” which has become a trap for most modern families and individuals; a downward spiral of debt and stress.

The further I travel the more my thoughts shift away from doing something grand to save the planet. That is ego at work and the real me prefers the silent anonymity of 'being'. Besides, the planet will scratch its back when the human plague begins to itch too much.

I believe the greatest responsibility we have is to live a life of humility and care, to walk quietly through the world and leave as little evidence of our passing as possible, because by doing so we save the environment from the excesses of our egos and the big, wide world endures, its beauty persists and we grow in symbiosis with the majesty of nature, into the enlightened beings we should all hopefully and humbly aspire to be.

The Elusive Contours of Enough

Fri, 8 Jun 2012 07:06:46 -0400

What more do I need?

As I sat in my apartment on my designer couch, one wall dedicated to scholarly books and a fine collection of trash DVDs and pulp comics, the huge TV sat in the centre of the bay window obscuring the view of trees across the road, directly opposite the designer couch where I had the best view; I would ask that simple, honest question.

What more do I need?

My world was crammed into a modest space made up of four rooms, each bulging with the effort to constrain my belongings, and yet there was never quite enough. There was always something missing; a yearning for a new toy, something to define myself with, or a desire to upgrade, expand, fulfil my grand ego.

I had no need to go out into that big world beyond the portal to my own, it had nothing to offer me. At my age I'd experienced so much that I needed not the adventure or interaction. Most people were useless; anathema to me in my empire of solitude.

I had everything I wanted yet nothing I needed. I lied to myself about my loneliness and longing to taste rich, lucid experience. I read about adventurers in the wilderness whose tales inspired and invoked feelings of desire, to escape the trappings of this consumer lifestyle and become the free spirit I pretended to be.

I had been living in a box with a digital window; all my experiences came from Google and addiction. Each day I spent in that grotto I felt the walls closing in; the ceiling lower and the air harder to breathe. I heard the callous spirits of all those belongings taunt me, “You'll never leave us, you need us...”

It had to end.

I began to realise that what I needed most was spiritual enrichment, not a better laptop. So how to escape this self-built cage and all its false promises?

I started small, selling things I didn't use any longer and soon my walls became barer and barer until all that remained was the couch, the computer and the TV.

From that couch I surveyed the wreckage; the space where all my so-called precious possessions had once lived. Did I pine for them? My ego certainly did but my heart beat louder and stronger, unshackled by material anchors that served only to root me to my comfort zone.

In their spaces I saw the elusive contours of enough; the freedom and space which was once occupied by a web of entanglement. I did not need those things, I did not miss them, yet the space they created – physically and spiritually – was a far more valuable commodity to me than anything that could fill it.

It has been three years since I started stripping myself of those things and walked from the comfort of all that I knew into the unknown. It is that which comforts me most now; my few meagre possessions locked safely in the back of my campervan, my 'rubber-tramp' home on the road in a country in which I hardly speak a word of the language; and the unknown, an opportunity to be surprised again, to feel the thrill of newness and that child-like view of the world where everything is a mystery.

In place of my television I have the roaring, ever changing sea and the whispering, whistling bluster of the wind, the calling of birds and the chirping and buzzing of insects, majestic mountains and bubbling rivers; all things of great, natural beauty which speak to my soul.

This is living.

I visit places where others failed to see the elusive contours of enough, cities built between sea and mountain, incongruous and ugly in all ways, littered with those who reflect my past; dissatisfied, unhappy, empty, greedy, confused and lost.

I sat on some rocks at a beach one evening and watched the fish feeding. They breached the ocean surface and cavorted beneath its rippling film creating dazzling silver shards. They own nothing, not even a place to call home, yet do not seem dissatisfied. They have the whole ocean to explore and play in but do not feel the need to lay claim to it. They simply 'be'.

And that is the absurdity of possessions. We come into this word with nothing but potential and leave with nothing but a lifetime of experience; nothing physical. So why do we fill our lives with so much junk? We humans appear to have forgotten how to 'be'.

Thankfully I am not alone in seeing the elusive contours of enough. There is a growing feeling all over the world that we need to find better ways of living, with respect for the environment and our fellow earthlings in their many guises. Our time on this rock is short and we cannot claim ownership to any part of it. Ownership is a thing of man, nature is ever present and omnipotent; man is merely nature become conscious.

I believe we have a duty to use that consciousness for better things; to tend and nurture our mother earth rather than plunder her for profit. The time of consumerism and greed is ending and in its place we will all soon see the not-so-elusive contours of enough.

So ask yourself, “What less do I need?”

You can read about a classic example of man not learning from past mistakes in this article on www.spain-in-a-campervan.com (click here for the story).

“The Elusive Contours of Enough” comes from 'Twelve by Twelve' courtesy of William Powers – Author, environmental activist and humanitarian.

Our greatest enemy lies within

Fri, 22 Jul 2011 14:07:44 -0400

In a dream you visited me wearing the face of one I once adored. We walked hand in hand through a rough shod wilderness, amongst lush green trees and verdant hills where a winding pathway meandered like the moments of wonder we so often shared.

Our conversation was lively and meaningful, romantic and enrapturing and you wore a smile so dazzling it could blind the sun. We were so close I could sense your warmth pressed against me and I felt at ease with the comfort you brought me.

The sky was leaden; clouds formed a natural apse cast in ribbons of shredded paper and washed down with every shade of stormy, water colour blue. Light pierced the swirling ceiling and winds shaped the vastness into a baroque canopy.

As we walked your face changed to another familiar, moving my emotions to a state of confusion which I could not shake. You stopped and turned to me, asking me a question I never thought I would hear pass your soft, inviting lips.

I hesitated, frozen and embarrassed; not knowing where to put myself. I could not requite for my love is reserved for another heart which mirror's my own.

As I found the courage to reject you I felt the world change; our baroque cathedral gently dispersed on the wind and with it you faded into a dusty memory.

I awoke with a sense of unease, unsure as to what had happened so vivid was the experience. You were as real and tangible as these words, as the heavy clouds which pass overhead on a hot July afternoon where the sea meets the land; as incongruous as rain that chills on a summer afternoon.

You are a siren luring me away from everything that I know to be right and true; guiding me into troubled waters where I have swum before when magnetised by your intoxicating song. And yet the intoxication is less appealing today, your spell has lost its fragrance and potency and my resistance to your devious ploys is growing ever higher.

You are here to destroy me, of this I am sure, yet you are a vital part of my journey for without you I would have nothing to keep me straight and balanced, nothing to strengthen my resolve against temptation. I thank you for being there and leading me astray so many times past because every deviation has put me on a wider path to my final destination – a home at peace within this vessel.

I heed the quiet voice that has never steered me wrong, that tiny whisper beneath your flamboyant showmanship. While you parade and invade my mind with images and thoughts of bounties great, it walks calmly beside me like a wise old grandparent who loves me unconditionally and gently leads me towards higher spiritual ground.

One day you will be nothing more than a photograph; silent and still, no longer able to articulate your evil machinations in any meaningful way and every moment I spend ignoring you is a moment closer to that day.

Sleep well dear ego while I walk my true path.

I will be home

Sat, 6 Nov 2010 05:11:37 -0400

Utopia was calling. In my mind I saw the sharp lines and soft edges so clearly, the clean and quiet streets and verdant parks. My family came to greet me, loved ones surrounded and comforted me, complementing my growth as a human being, celebrating my return from adventures afar.

I was hopeful, expectant; ebullient even at the thought of seeing their faces smiling a reflected smile.

As the train rolled into the town that bore me unto this earth I was reminded of how far I have been, and how much I have changed. The leaden sky hung like a turgid promontory, like the ceiling to the cell which held me locked away for so many years and now came back to harness me once more.

It was flatter than I remember; like the air had been crushed from its lungs and the life had fled to another, better, more deserving realm. The breathtaking mountains of Macedonia seemed so far away in space and time all of a sudden, the bluest skies and purest snow caps all but a water colour in my memory and my heart weighed a little heavier in my chest.

The blazing sunlight warming the crystal ocean wilderness of Greece seemed nothing more than a figment of my imaginings, as if I had slept in my cell for an age, dreaming of the world I yearned to see; only to awaken back in the womb of an unwanting mother.

My family is a collection of fragments, beautiful shards of splintered glass from a most valuable relic that can never be fixed. I hold tightly to one piece, grit my teeth through the pain as it carves deep lacerations into my hands, and I wash away the blood with stinging saline tears.

I must release this conditional love, this rejection machine that has always; always made me feel second to everything else. I am not the little boy anymore, nor the angry youth. I am something new, something without those pitiful needs, born of a desire to be a complete human being; and I am strong again.

My home is with them, my true loved ones; my true family. Those that were always there before will always be there in the future, carried gladly in my thoughts, memories, laughter and tears, but the future is mine and belongs to my ambitions.

Wherever I go, so long as they are there; I will be home.

Do the evolution

Sun, 31 Oct 2010 16:10:31 -0400

I want to dispense with the metaphors and pretty wordings for a change and instead pay homage to a man who has inspired me to think on the highest possible level, to see the world through eyes that only bear witness to the truth. Think of it as a departure from my art and more of a lesson in observation. No clever title, no leaning on similes, just pure observation and reflection.

Bill Hicks once said, “Evolution didn’t stop with opposable thumbs. We’ve reached a point where we can now evolve ourselves through our thoughts and lifestyles.”

I admire Hicks, not because of his comedy so much as the deeply profound spiritual message that lay at the very core of everything he delivered to us. The man was right about evolution (and may other things). Darwin may have cottoned onto the idea that we evolve, but Hicks took it to a different level altogether.

I’m talking about this subject because I now live in a city which is on the rise, a city which is evolving through its populace, new ideas and a growing sense of optimism. But still I feel disconnected from most of the people around me. I had to ask myself why?

The last year has seen something of a personal eruption. I would say growth but it’s been more intense than simple “growth”. I sought a way to improve my life and cut myself free from all the things which held me back. Those things included habits, friends, family (not all) and concerns over upsetting others or trying to please them – things which frankly, we shouldn’t give a fuck about.

I sold up and shipped out, travelled Europe, found a dog and now find myself living in one of the hottest areas in Berlin – Kreuzberg. I’m in accord with the general opinion that Xberg (as it’s fondly titled by locals) is a cool place. Actually, it would be cool if I loved going out drinking, hanging out in cafes all the time, and loved all night social entertainment.

The thing is, I don’t love those things either. I’m an odd creature by most people’s standards. I love nature and freedom from social chaos. So when I walk my dog everyday I’m reminded that I have evolved myself to another level because I don’t have it in me to litter the street with rappers and bags.

Every broken bottle I see tells me that I’ve moved on from these people and that I still need to find that place where like minds graze the intellectual meadows. I don’t care for the trash, I hate that my dog has to walk barefoot through streets literally covered in glass and I’m sick of people’s selfish, thoughtless stupidity.

Before this becomes a rant in e minor, I want to say that if we cut through the bullshit, look inside and be honest about who we really are, we can all evolve and live harmoniously on this beautiful planet without need of drugs or chemicals, bad food and pointless television.

Happy evolving potential gods.