Jodi Kasten's Open Salon Blog

A Scandalous Confession...

Wed, 25 Aug 2010 00:08:31 -0400

I have deleted this blog entry. Evidently, present actions are bringing up past hurt. I apologize for allowing my temper to get the best of me.

This place, which once brought me so much joy, has brought me nothing but pain for pretty much this whole year. My heart throbs around the black hole that used to be the family I had here.

I miss you, my OpenFamily. I stopped doing anything but mirroring my food posts long ago, but I desperately cling to the best of the friends I've made here.

Sadly, what caused this deleted post was an abortive attempt at making another one long ago. Sometimes, it just doesn't work out. That doesn't mean I should hold onto it for months then blame someone else when I lose my temper. For that I'm sorry. But, if you think for a moment that I don't believe people will get a charge out of that, you must be new. I hope that if nothing else, this brightened someone's day. Enjoy the hell out of that. You deserve it. My class and dignity tank is empty.

I just can't be here. What once brought out the best in me now brings out the worst. Watch out or it'll empty you too. You'll wake up one day and realize you've become what you hated.

Sometimes Chaos Reigns

Tue, 27 Jul 2010 13:07:52 -0400

You’d never know it to look at me, but I love a good conspiracy theory. I’m a pudgy little mother of four, college-educated, a food writer… I quilt for Pete’s sake. But, part of me loves the creepy feeling I get from haunted houses, Stephen King and a nice, juicy conspiracy theory.

I think I've figured out why people get addicted to these theories. They love the idea that the world is not random at all. One skinny nervous dude couldn’t have shot the greatest president who ever lived (choose your own skinny dude and greatest president). Surely something like a little PLANE couldn’t bring down two of the most neat-o skyscrapers ever. Jim Morrison can’t DIE.

Yeah – that stuff.

I love the little hairs on the back of my neck standing up when I see what I call a “nose presser” photo, blown up to 2000x its possible sane resolution so I can see what might be a shadow of a something under a wing of a plane… that moment of doubt makes so much more sense than the idea that regular human beings just DECIDE to become suicidal terrorists bent on causing mayhem. The “Evil Government” idea is a much more comforting option than someone human who breathes, feels and possibly loves Scooby Doo stabbing someone with a box cutter and trying to kill as many people as they could with a plane. Nah…

We all know in the back of our minds that anything can happen at any time. This idea that - indeed - chaos reigns, is in a brain file somewhere between other intelligent realities like Friday being garbage pickup and “righty-tighty lefty-loosey.” When something bad happens – I mean really bad – it’s our job as American adults to stand around and say, “Gosh, I didn’t think something like that could happen to US!” The random event doesn't have to be collective. When it's your house, your car, your kid, your life that goes boom - it's our societal responsibility to say, "HUH?" It's a lie - but a comforting lie.

Conspiracy theories help us believe that the world is not quite that random. We all know that we’re statistically more likely to be struck by lightning and gang raped by sharks holding a winning PowerBall ticket with newly prehensile thumbs than we are to ever be involved in a terrorist attack. We also know that our parents had the Cuban Missile Crisis and a string of political leaders that got shot. Shit happens, kids. Hold on tight.

It’s been almost a decade since 9/11. JFK is in grainy black and white. My kids call Julia Child “That old-timey cooking grandma.” There are red M&Ms again. Last time I flew, I didn’t look around playing “Spot the Sky Marshal.” I was much more concerned at the sad state of the beer selection. (Corona, PBR and Heineken? Really?) Personally, I enjoy not the conspiracy theory itself, but rather the fight and the proof it’s crap. The straw man arguments are HILARIOUS. It’s like Sudoku for your creepy side to watch two geeks of equal vocabulary but staggeringly incongruous levels of common sense rip each other to shreds over minutiae.

Geek #1: Here are 250 audio recordings of trained firefighters and policemen saying that the WTC collapses sounded like demolitions.

Geek #2: Are you aware of the definition of the word “simile?”

Geek #1: “Are you questioning the experiences of the surviving firefighter heroes of 9/11? That is REALLY vile.”

Geek #2: “Where is the evidence of explosives?”

Geek #1: “The towers came down and the firefighters said it was a controlled demolition. Aren’t you paying attention? The fires couldn’t have brought down the towers. Steel doesn’t melt until over 2000°F, the fires never went over 1200°F. Explain that!

Geek #2: “The steel didn’t melt. It was compromised. No one ever said the steel melted.”

Geek #1: “There was molten metal in the basement.”

Geek #2: “Was it proven to be steel?”

Geek #1: “Who says it wasn’t? Besides, if it was aluminum, that could be evidence of thermite.”

Geek #2: “I hate you.

Geek #1: “Your mother’s a whore.”

Yeah – that’s about how it goes.

How could I NOT be entertained by that? If you don’t believe me, go check out the movie Loose Change. (Link is to a debunking watcher's guide, but the links are there.) Then check out their forums. Just in case you need the warning - here are their forum rules:

...if you are a self-professed "skeptic", please note the following arguments will be either ignored or erased, as they have no merit:

"too many people would be involved, so your conspiracy is bogus"
"all the people involved must be paid off, so your conspiracy is bogus"
"you guys are still alive, so your conspiracy is bogus"
"our government is too dumb to pull this off, so your conspiracy is bogus"
"our government would NEVER do this, so your conspiracy is bogus"
"screw you guys, your conspiracy is bogus"
"you guys are all in this for the money"
"you guys are all Bush bashers"
"you guys are all Liberals"
"you guys are all nuts"

That pretty much frees up the forum for an open discussion of facts, doesn't it?

So, now that John McCain is in the news for being attached to a bunch of conspiracy crackpots through some random hoop-jumping and an Arizona sheriff, one must wonder, what’s the harm? What IS the harm in a bunch of folks sitting around trying to make an elaborate wrought iron fence out of Occam’s razor?

It seems to me that unfortunately the ability to believe that a minimum of hundreds of government employees could knowingly commit mass murder on national television also lends itself to being able to believe lots of other things. Find your friendly neighborhood white supremacist and ask them several questions without interjecting your own thoughts. Ask them where Obama was born. Ask them what happened on 9/11. Ask them whether we should have the legal right to execute illegal immigrants. Ask them who killed JFK. Then, if you haven’t already been beaten to death for laughing at them, ask them what they think of the Arizona immigration law.

In the past few months, John McCain’s previously conciliatory and rather sane immigration stance (I'm being kind - see?) has dissolved into “How fast can we build that wall?” I suppose that political analysts have decided that the votes he loses from his base by not pushing for an electrified Mexican repellant system at the border were outweighing the possible Hispanic vote he might gain by being semi-centrist.

Now the white supremacists, conspiracy nuts and militia whackadoodles are involved. In spite of the fact that I can tell you exactly who SAYS they saw Jim Morrison’s corpse before it was interred in Paris, I can’t follow how they are all connected to John McCain. But, I do know that I like being on the side of the people who believe that folks are just folks and maybe they shouldn't be shot on sight.

Somewhere between Mohammed Atta and Mother Teresa lie our neighbors – both in the world and in our homes. Some neighbors are jerks. Some neighbors are meth junkies. Some neighbors break the law. Some neighbors are like Hazel that lives behind me and obsessively picks at leaves wearing long sleeves and jeans in 104° heat.

They are all human and sometimes chaos reigns.

It's hard work to change our government. It's hard to decide how to deal with people coming into our country illegally. It's hard to decide how to alter tactics or policy to avoid terrorism or prevent it through security. It's really easy to say we have no choice. We can blame it on Obama or Bush or Clinton or Bush Sr. or Reagan or... but in the end, there's a reality. There are dead bodies - bodies of our border patrol officers, bodies of illegal immigrants, bodies jumping out of an office building on fire - which of these are we responsible for and which can be blamed on politicians?

People often ask me at this point - What's YOUR answer?
That's where conspiracy theories really come into their own. It's a comfortable place to be when you believe that you don't have any power to control your own destiny other than what you and the militia of your choice might do. It relieves us of the responsibility of illegal immigrants being shot dead in our names because if we really had any control then we'd be responsible for that, wouldn't we?

I'll be thinking about that while I vote.

Read all about it:

John McCain's Race Problems on The Daily Beast

Screw Loose Change

See what I do when I'm not pissing you off.

That photo of Hazel is MINE.
MINE! MINE! MINE!
I had to take the chance of that old bat seeing me photographing her through the back door - so if you steal it, I will turn you into a toad.

Dear Gordon Ramsay

Wed, 14 Jul 2010 09:07:25 -0400

What follows is a love/Dear John letter to Gordon Ramsay. No scallops were harmed in the production of this article.

Dear Gordon Ramsay:

I want to love you – really I do. Nothing is more beautiful than the simplicity and strength of the recipes you give on The F-Word. (Especially that part at the end when you say… “DONE.” ::swoon::) I have followed you breathlessly as you saved restaurants in the UK with your special brand of camaraderie mixed with unapologetic ruthlessness. You are successful, assertive, smart, experienced and generally nice to behold.

Therefore, it pains me to tell you that I’m breaking up with you, at least here in America. We can continue to see each other over stolen moments on BBC America, but I’m afraid our long-term stateside fling must come to an end. Because I care, I would like to leave you with some advice to try to salvage the relationship we once had.

First, please don’t talk down to me. In the UK version of Kitchen Nightmares, proprietors are treated with a modicum of dignity before you tear them a new one. People who are truly struggling are shown – folks who have inherited businesses from their families after generations of sweat and tears. There are no 23-year-old trust fund babies who bought restaurants because they liked the idea of being Chef Barbie. There are still plenty of train wrecks in the UK version, but I don’t get the feeling that the restaurants are chosen for how likely it is that the middle-aged lady-owner will cry. There are a lot of GREAT restaurants in the US that are struggling. Help them. Leave the vanity owners to swing in the breeze where they belong.

Most importantly, please stop making Hell’s Kitchen and start unapologetically airing The F-Word on U.S. broadcast television. Why should I continue to watch Hell’s Kitchen this season? I already know that the risotto will be unseasoned, the Wellington will be overcooked and the fish will be RAAAAAWWWW!!! J.P. will look amused, your sous will be disgusted with the contestants and at some point the teaser will show emergency services coming for some reason that ends up being a stunt or an injury that won’t even need a bandage. There will be a blind taste test, breakfast will be served to mix things up and 8,000 scallops will go improperly seared. Most importantly, when all is said and done, the winner will never be heard from again – unless they end up on the show in a few years after their gig is up.

If you insist on continuing to make Hell’s Kitchen, please make it about food. There are legions of great chefs who do not need lessons on how to work a line. If you’re looking for a truly great executive chef, then have them run a line of other competent chefs in a real restaurant. If you’re REALLY looking for a great chef to run a world class kitchen, start the audition process by being sure they can actually cook.

“Top Line Cook” was boring two or three seasons ago. Put it in the bin, hon.

I want to believe we can salvage what we had.

All the best and good luck.

If you're into this sort of thing, check out my website www.EatJax.com - where every day is Foodie Tuesday.

Image: publicity photo run everywhere - don't judge me.

Nova Scotia Notes: Defining Hospitality

Tue, 29 Jun 2010 10:06:40 -0400

There are places in the world so inarguably beautiful that they become legendary. Americans may not know Peggys Cove by name – but if you’ve ever seen a picture of a lighthouse, you’ve probably seen Peggys Cove. It’s hard to believe that a place so photographed and visited hasn’t sprouted a Motel 6 and an IHOP, but Peggys Cove is holding strong at a population of 46.

As our group of journalists and their families pulled into the King Neptune Campground just outside of the Cove in the even tinier town of Indian Harbour, we could see why this was one of the most photographed places in the world.

It was our first night parking and hooking up the RVs, so there was quite a bit of backing up, pulling forward and leveling off. We had a chicken dinner for seventeen inexplicably prepared by one of our Go RVing Canada guides on a tiny grill.

(From left to right, Lorraine Sommerfeld, Jodi Kasten (me) and Mike Powell of Go RVing Canada.)

As we finished up our plates of chicken and rice, we watched a sunset that I will never forget.

Just as the sun was dipping below the rocky horizon, we were greeted by the owners of the campground, who live onsite year round. This is Miss Kay Richardson, proprietor, resident and grandma extraordinaire with her daughter, Joyce.

Kay and Joyce brought out coffee, tea and gingerbread cake just after dinner. The cake was spicy, aromatic and lovely. THIS was why I came to Nova Scotia. Just the night before, I was in one of the finest hotels in Halifax and I ate at a restaurant that was in my lifetime top three – yet, here was Miss Kay with her moist, delicious spice cake with handmade whipped cream. You can’t buy Miss Kay. You can’t buy Indian Harbour. You can’t buy that sunset.

That night, I did something I have never gotten to do before — I fell asleep to the sound of the ocean crashing on rocks instead of sand. There were no car horns, no engines revving, no phones ringing and no airplanes overhead – just the sound of the ocean and the lingering scent of gingerbread cake.

The next morning, Miss Kay invited us inside her home which perches on the edge of the ocean. To the left the lobster traps waited for the day’s work and to the right the lighthouse broadcast its warning across the North Atlantic. Below the tidy, modest home was a fledgling vegetable garden. Miss Kay brought us inside and proudly showed us the kitchen where she had baked our evening treat. The view from her kitchen window is priceless.

Her wood stove stood sentry against the wild winter nights to come. But, for that day, the weather was warm and the sun shone brightly on her little part of the world.

This is more than a nameless campground trumpeted by a smiling bear with a pool and a store that sells t-shirts. This is Miss Kay’s home and the best place I have ever stayed away from home. I will never again hear the word “hospitality” and not think of Kay Richardson and her family. There is no guide travelers can buy or website they can visit that will tell them exactly when they will feel welcomed or genuinely valued so deeply that the word “customer” seems offensively detached. This campground is one of those places where, just for one night, I felt like part of the family.

You can visit Kay Richardson’s campground from June 1 – October 15 each year. The King Neptune Campground is located at 8536 Peggys Cove Road, Indian Harbour, Nova Scotia. There is no website, but you can give them a call for reservations or information at 902.823.2582.

Special thanks to Kay Richardson and her family, Randy Brooks with Nova Scotia Tourism, Mike Powell and Mike Hatch with Go RVing Canada and Lorraine Sommerfeld, the best travel companion in Canada.

This article is the second in a series about Nova Scotia. Please check with www.EatJax.com for future installments.

Other Nova Scotia Notes:
Five Fishermen Restaurant – Halifax

Nova Scotia Notes: Five Fishermen - Halifax

Thu, 24 Jun 2010 13:06:55 -0400

The Five Fishermen restaurant in Halifax is my kind of place. Old? Excellent seafood? Haunted? — They are playing my song. The building was originally built in 1816 as the Church of England’s National School. In 1884, the school was converted to The Victorian College of Art, with Anna Leonowens (Anna of The King and I fame) as its patron. Since then, the building has gone through multiple uses, picking up a respectable contingent of ghosts along the way. In 1974, it became the Five Fishermen, racking up multiple honors including Taste of Nova Scotia’s Restaurant of the Year and Wine Spectator Awards of Excellence for the past five years.

As this was my first night in Nova Scotia, I was more than ready to get down to eating some serious seafood. The mussel bar is complimentary with any dinner entrée. I knew I would need to pace myself, so I kept it modest.

The bar itself is pretty standard. There are salad and side dish offerings along with simple hotel pans filled with mussels and several dipping sauce choices. I chose the garlic butter. The mussels were fresh, sweet and plump. It was a nice appetizer to begin the evening.

Next, the group of journalists I was with were treated to an amuse bouche sent out by Executive Chef Randy Akey. It was a perfectly seared Digby scallop atop a bed of fingerling potatoes with a smoked halibut ragout, house smoked back bacon and basil oil. Absolutely AMAZING. It was one of the best dishes I have ever eaten in my life. In fact, I am going to dedicate an entire article to the graphic description of this dish which will probably be published in July. For now, I’ll leave you with this photo.

For my first course (having already had mussels and the amuse – as I said, I had to pace myself) I chose lobster salad ($12 – all prices Canadian currency).

Claw and knuckle lobster meat with shaved fennel, celery root and arugula danced on the plate with a pear and walnut oil vinaigrette. It was light, fresh and a beautiful introduction to Nova Scotia lobster. The bitter greens worked well with a subtle dressing and briny, sweet lobster to create a really good mouth feel and taste profile. It is the perfect dish for a summer evening.

For my main course, I stuck with the seafood theme, choosing the seafood medley ($39)

This course consisted of pan seared shrimp and scallops, a crisp, lemony Acadian fish cake and a true revelation – lobster mashed potatoes. I am a firm believer that everything is better with bacon, but after this dish, I have begun to wonder what dishes could be improved with lobster. Of course, the seafood was magnificent, but those creamy, beautiful mashed potatoes shot through with luscious chunks of lovely lobster were just beyond all measure. I will never eat mashed potatoes again without remembering how much better they are with bits of lobster tucked in!

Finally, my travel companion and I chose to split an order of profiteroles.

The pastry was tasty, but the ice cream was the true star. It was a rich, creamy display of vanilla as it should be – pure, cold and sweet, but not too sweet. After such previous debauchery, it was a light and lovely way to end a spectacular meal.

Most travelers into Nova Scotia begin their stay in Halifax, so I would recommend beginning or ending any stay in the province at the Five Fishermen restaurant. It is a showcase of all the best Nova Scotia has to offer. The food goes above and beyond expectations, the building is charming and historic and the service is top notch. It’s a sure way to set the tone for a great stay in the province. Highly recommended.

The Five Fishermen Restaurant is located at 1740 Argyle Street in Halifax, Nova Scotia. Visit their website here or give them a call at 902.422.4221 for reservations or information.

Special thanks to Shane Robilliard at Five Fishermen for filling in the gaps left by lovely Nova Scotia wines, Randy Brooks with Nova Scotia Tourism, Mike Powell and Mike Hatch with Go RVing Canada and Lorraine Sommerfeld (WSFTC?), the best travel companion in Canada.

This article is the first in a series about Nova Scotia. Please check with www.EatJax.com for future installments.

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all photos copyright © 2010 by jodi a. kasten • all rights reserved