Julie Tarp's Open Salon Blog

The Dangers of Writing on the Internet

Sat, 20 Mar 2010 01:03:23 -0400

It’s fun, isn’t it? You know, to only tell one side of a story. Well, not even actually tell it, really. Just blast away with childish and grotesque remarks and hope no one notices the truth, I guess.

I’ll give you that I’m an easy target for the thin-skinned. I speak my mind and I don’t bite my tongue. I don’t have a problem with that or the aftermath. The problem I have is if you do something shady and I call you out on it, how exactly does that make me a “bitch”? Because you were caught?

I’ve seen OS change in my time here. It went from a place of fervent and adult discussion to something I can’t even wrap my head around. Apparently, if you don’t agree wholeheartedly with something, you better just keep your mouth shut or be called the old stand-by, bitch, when there’s nothing more clever that comes to mind. (And yes, I know it’s supposed to be “cleverer” but that just looks weird.) Oh, or even better be thought of as some part of a “mean girl” posse. Please, you aren’t the first to think that one up and you won’t be the last. It’s a lame attempt at gathering your own posse. It’s stupid. There isn’t one. You're not that special.

Scanner recently posted “Having a Garden Party?” and it was pointed out that he had plagiarized most of it – word for word in some cases. That is why I, Ablonde and Bonnie Russell are skanky, smelly, cootchie, bitches (or some such nonsense). All because we dared to point out with actual facts that he had plagiarized someone else’s work – at least three different sources. This is a writer’s site, is it not? Are we the only ones who respect that? Someone else’s intellectual property? I don’t care if it’s on the back of a tuna can label, it belongs to someone else.

I’m not one to call out people in posts or salacious titles that someone’s grandmother can Google, but I really don’t mind calling out someone for something I take very seriously. I take time to craft a post, a treatment or a script and to further copyright or register them with the WGA. It makes me highly uncomfortable to think that someone else could take the words that I worked hours, weeks or years on and just assign their name to them and am completely baffled that a copyright doesn't mean anything to some people. How exactly can you justify that? But you see, instead of showing a little humility in the situation, scanner chose to somehow defend that he had written some of the post. That is supposed to make it okay, I guess.

On one of the sites he ripped the authors words from, there is a clear copyright notice that states, “Copyright 1996-2010 Creative Loafing Media, Inc. All rights reserved. No material contained in this site may be republished or reposted without express written permission.” Now, if they want you to get written permission ahead of time for even using the material, what do you think they would think about using the material word for word and then attaching your name to it? Like you wrote it?

I’m offended and saddened that something like this would even have to be explained. It’s pathetic, really. At a place where we are supposed to respect each other as writers, the most sinful act put upon us is plagiarism. No one should stand for it - not a single person on here who values the written word, including the editors of Open Salon. I mean, think about if they had chosen that as something to promote on Salon – lawsuit! This isn’t an isolated incident with scanner and there are many others on here that chose to take someone else’s work and make it their own, receiving accolade after accolade for their “brilliant and creative” writing. It is up to each and every one of us who actually care about the craft of writing or what we are putting out there to police behavior like this. There is no room for it. Period.

If this needs to be explained to you or you are confused on how to do research for a piece, then I suggest you learn the basics before you start “publishing”.

It’s theft, plain and simple.

The Last Frontier: God and Reproductive Rights in Oklahoma

Thu, 11 Mar 2010 13:03:27 -0500

The ongoing battle over a Ten Commandments monument erected on the courthouse lawn in Stigler, Oklahoma between the Haskell County Board of Commissioners and the ACLU has finally come to an end with the U.S. Supreme Court declining to even review the case. This follows a bitter struggle for the separation of church and state leading all the way to the Tenth Circuit Court of Appeals in which, by unanimous decision, the court ruled that the monument violates the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment to the Constitution and that in erecting it, the county commissioners “advanced their personal religious beliefs”.

In a statement on the final outcome of the case, Joann Bell, Executive Director of the ACLU of Oklahoma said, “All Oklahomans, of all creeds – and not just those who share the beliefs of those in power – should feel welcome at the county courthouse.”

I agree.

When our government, whether at the local, state or federal level promotes something as inclusionary as religion, specifically Christianity, how are those who have different beliefs supposed to feel? There is an increasingly volatile undercurrent that pushes the beliefs of the vocal, well-funded majority onto anyone with differing views. An agenda. If you don’t share that same belief system or if you speak out against it, that makes you somehow un-American. Yet, the same people who decry “big government” interference always seem to be the ones introducing legislation that is downright invasive to its citizens. This fight to have a religious monument on government property is only one instance of religious groups and conservatives funneling their belief systems through legislative channels and chipping away at our individual freedoms in the process.

Recently in Oklahoma, the State House approved anti-abortion legislation. In what some have called one of the strictest and “most extreme” abortion laws in the country, House Bill 1595 bans women from getting an abortion based on gender selection. That in and of itself doesn’t sound so awful even though I don’t believe that anyone should have the power over what a woman chooses for herself. But, they are sneaky. The bill also requires doctors to ask their patients 37 personal questions pertaining to their race, relationship status, relationship issues, whether the woman having the abortion was an employee of the state, education level and what county they reside in among others. This information would then be compiled by the state at a cost of $256,285 every year and then released as public information.

In addition, it requires abortion providers to post signs stating "you may not be coerced into having an abortion.” What about the coercion of intimidation to those who seek abortions?

The Center for Reproductive Rights filed an injunction and a judge has ruled HB 1595 to be unconstitutional. Unfortunately, not for the reason we might think. The Oklahoma Constitution bans multiple subjects to be included in a single piece of legislation. The Bill’s author, Republican Senator Todd Lamb, argues that it only has one: “The first part, prohibition of sex selection, the second part, abortion reporting, they both deal with the same thing, the sanctity of human life.”

Rest assured, new bills are being drafted separating out each issue, which will no doubt pass with lawsuits to follow. But, my question still remains, how is this not government interference of a highly intrusive nature into the lives of its citizens? Or are women still simply second-class citizens who shouldn’t be allowed to make decisions for themselves?

The Lost Boy: Corey Haim Dies at 38

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 09:03:30 -0500

Corey Haim, teenage heartthrob of the 80’s, died early this morning in his mother’s apartment. TMZ is reporting that he woke around 1:00 AM and collapsed in front of his mother. Emergency personnel found him alive but very weak. He was rushed to the hospital and pronounced dead at 3:30 AM from what preliminary reports are calling an "accidental overdose". His mother says he had been sick with flu-like symptoms for a few days. Officials are now reporting that at least four prescription bottles were found nearby, none "related to the illness", but found no illegal drugs.

Haim had his share of struggles with drugs and was in and out of rehab 15 times. However, having been sober on and off since 2004, those close to him thought he was back on the right track. In fact, just three weeks ago, he seemed to be doing well.

As a child of the 80’s, Haim was just as much a part of my life as any of the teen mega-stars are of today. Growing up in Toronto, he started acting at the age of 15 with the films Dream a Little Dream, Lucas and License to Drive to follow. His best friend on film and in real life, Corey Feldman, were both break out stars in The Lost Boys – a movie that is just as good today as it was in 1987.

In recent years, he was seen in A&E's "The Two Coreys" with his childhood friend. At times it was difficult to watch someone I once salivated over struggle to keep it together. Jealousy seemed to rear its ugly head with Haim, knowing that Feldman had followed a different path. He was motivated to return to show business and was set on a remake of The Lost Boys. His total devastation to learn that there was already one in the works and that he would not be a part of it, was heart wrenching. A&E cancelled the show after two seasons. Haim wanted so badly to get back into the acting that he loved that in 2008, he took out a full page ad in Variety letting Hollywood know that he was back and ready to make amends.

Unfortunately for Haim, he didn't receive the chance for a comeback the way Drew Barrymore or Mickey Rourke and countless others did. Instead, he leaves with the tragic irony of the title of his legacy and the way he left this world being one and the same.

The Bachelor Finale: Sugar vs. Spice

Tue, 2 Mar 2010 02:03:11 -0500

Tonight’s show was touted as the most dramatic in Bachelor history. I’m beginning to think they’re in on the joke.

Still in St. Lucia, the show starts out with the all-important meeting of the parents – Jake’s parents. Tenley is first and of course they love her. Why wouldn’t they? She says all the right things. She wants to know how his dad pursued his mom. The dad tears up at this and I throw up just a little bit. I mean, sure that’s sweet and all, but I think this gal may be laying it on a bit thick. But, they love the Disney character that is Tenley and by the end of the visit, Jake’s mom is sure she’s met her future daughter-in-law.

Before Vienna’s visit, Jake makes the mistake of mentioning that all the girls in the house hated her. The women pounced. Immediately. They didn’t like her before they even met her. Jake felt guilty for mentioning something negative before they had a real chance to get to know her. Man, was he right. The women were cold. The preconceived picture they had of Vienna came through loud and clear. Jake’s sister-in-laws fired questions to her about the other girls not liking her which Vienna took on the chin. They later said they couldn’t believe she would just bring that up. Um, she didn’t – you did. Ah, semantics.

Later, while Jake’s mom is telling him that she just doesn’t think Vienna “meshes with the family”, the sisters grill Vienna in another room. She doesn’t seem fazed one bit and eventually they are all laughing. I’m pretty sure that Vienna has been through this before. And, of course, by the end of the night, the whole family, including Jake’s mom, comes around to viewing Vienna in a different light. Comparing the two girls’ visits, I felt like Vienna just seemed natural; not putting on airs and Tenley appeared like she lives in la-la land.

The last-ditch dates arrive with Vienna spending time with Jake first. They rub mud on each other in some smelly sulfur spring. Rotten eggs sure beat jasmine in the romance department, no? They wash themselves off in a waterfall that just so happens to have a bottle of champagne next to it. Can you imagine their glee? I wish everywhere I went I found a bucket of champagne. Or beer. Or whiskey.

They head back to her room where she gives Jake a present. It’s the promise ring her dad gave to her. It’s kinda weird. The ring doesn’t represent purity or virginity or anything like that, and I really didn’t ever catch what it actually does represent. Anyway, she gave it to Jake and then they made out.

The next date is with Tenley and it begins with them running into each other’s arms, spinning around and kissing. You know, that move that no one ever does in real life because someone gets hurt? Yeah, it’s just that cheesy. They take to a yacht for a day of snorkeling. I’m totally jealousing, I’d love to dive there. Oh, I guess this isn’t about me. Whatever. Once they’re back on board, Jake looks like he’s struggling with something and needs to talk. He tells her that he feels there’s an emotional chemistry between them, but “no crazy, mad, passionate love”. She looks devastated and tells him she thinks it’s supposed to go slow. I’m not sure she understands this is her last date with him.

Jake meets back up with Tenley at her hotel room and she tells him that she wants “to have fun, but…” then she asks him to explain what he said on the boat. He says, “blah, blah, blah…I’m sorry…blah, blah, blah…” She responds with, “Thanks for sharing.” Although not in the way I might have. She gives him her present, which is a shadowbox with pictures of the two of them. She explains each and every one of them to him as if he’s not also in the picture or can’t remember what happened yesterday. Then, they start making out. Well, I wouldn’t so much say making out, more like kissing as if they are related.

What? You don’t sit on ledges without your shirt to make important decisions?

So, now we get down to it. Helicopters, of course, pick each of the girls up to meet their destiny. Which one will land first and be heartbroken? Tenley! Aw, this isn’t going to go well. Ew, she doesn’t have a good cry face. Poor thing. She just keeps asking him why? “What am I missing?” They’re both in a tough spot. He has to be real with her, but I imagine he doesn’t actually want to hurt her any more than he already is, and she just needs to understand why she wasn’t chosen. Jake basically tells her it felt forced and didn’t come naturally. Ouch.

As Jake finds the nearest rail to lean on, Tenley says “good-bye to the St. Lucia sun.” Apparently, she’s heading into total darkness.

I love you rail. Will you marry me?

As it turns out, the spoiler I read was right, and Vienna makes her way across the bridge to her prince charming. But wait! Instead of giving her a ring – the ring – he’s giving her promise ring back to her. Well, maybe this will be dramatic after all. Nah, something about it not being about pain. I’m a little confused. Anyway, he tells her he loves her “with everything I have” and gets down on one knee. He pops the question and I don’t hear the answer because my husband is shouting, “Say no! Say no! Just once, someone say no!” I assume she said yes as they are doing that spinny, kissing thing. In all fairness, they look truly happy.

Oh wait! It’s a montage of Vienna and Jake with On The Wings of Love playing. The music lulls and comes back to the pair. Jake asks if she’ll accept the final rose and as she does, the music swells to an unimaginable decibel. Totally awesome!

The happy couple: Vienna and Jake

That's right, spice wins every time.

Following the finale of the show, they went directly into "After the Final Rose" which is where the jilted gal gets to confront the bachelor who ditched her. They are always still very upset, even though it's been like three months and they actually "dated" for what, six weeks? Of course production has them watching the finale again just for good measure.

Tenley and host, Chris Harrison's talk starts out nice enough. "We loved you. You're so nice.", etc. He asks her how she is - she's "emotional". Then, it's "here, let's take a look back" at the exact moment your heart was crushed. "What's that like, watching it again?" For the second time in a row. "What hurts the most?" Um, that she didn't get picked? "Sounds like you have issues. Want to see Jake?" Wow. Nice bedside manner there Chris.

When Jake comes out, she kinda clings to him a little bit. She's pretty touchy-feely with him. She asks him to help her understand what it was that she was missing. He can't put it into words. She wants to know about the physical part. "There just wasn't a spark." Now, I saw a little twinkle in her eye here and I think he said exactly what she wanted. She came back that she felt sorry for Vienna because they did have a physical connection just before he was pledging his devotion to Vienna. Hmm, did she just say that they had sex? I'm thinking so. She came off looking a little desperate but Jake just said they'd "be friends for life" as he backed away from her a bit more.

Once Tenley was gone, the conversation turned to Vienna who has been taking a beating in the tabloids. I guess it doesn't bother Jake in the least. "She's my baby and we live a fairy-tale every day." Aww. My fairy-tales often involve ex-Hooter's girls too! But, he's stoked she's going to be his wife and that's all that matters here.

As Vienna comes out to be reunited with Jake, I'm relieved to see she finally got her roots done. Seriously. It's all I can look at. Well, she also got a new haircut that looks less mullety. Double plus. Asked of their plans, she's moving to Dallas immediately and they are going to start their normal life together. Well, good luck to ya Jake and Vienna. Don't snicker but they actually do look like they're in love, so I hope it works out for them. And I hope she keeps up with those roots.

What? After all this you still want more Jake? Well, guess what? Today's your lucky day because he's going to be a contestant on Dancing With the Stars. It's like ABC is all Jake, all the time. I'm afraid they've lost me on that one.

Oh yeah, Chris Harrison also announced who the Bachelorette would be on the upcoming season. Yep, it's Ali. Apparently, "America has fallen in love with her." Really? I didn't. But, hey, whatever. I'm sure she'll be perfectly fine until she has to leave taping to return to her job.

There you have it folks, happily ever after.

Article also posted on Reality Fishbowl.

The Evolution of a Brat

Thu, 25 Feb 2010 16:02:13 -0500

My parents say it started at the exact moment I learned to speak. I was what you would call precocious. I wanted to find things out, to learn, but most of all I wanted to talk. Talk and talk and talk. I blame my mother actually; I think she passed down a gene or something. Dad and I would be completely finished with dinner and she would have barely taken a bite of anything because she talked so much. I’m also sure that this has some correlation to my attention span, which is that of a gnat. I get bored. Quickly. So, following in her footsteps, of course she encouraged me to wonder, to basically go with whatever I was feeling at the time.

See? She started it. Who gives a two year old a phone?

By the time I was cogent enough to start putting things together, I was a handful. She tells a story of us visiting a friend at a public pool near her house. I was gone for a bit and my mom finally found me just chatting up some guy. Startled, she brought me back to her seat and explained to me that I couldn’t talk to strangers like that. She didn’t scare me or yell, even though now I can imagine her fear. I took in the information and let it marinate. A few moments later and long before Forrest Gump, I marched right back over to him and introduced myself and picked the conversation up where it no doubtedly had so rudely been interrupted. As you can imagine, she was alarmed to find me back there. She apologized to the man before she basically said he could be a kidnapper and reiterated that I was not to talk to strangers. My response left both of them howling, “This is Jack. He’s not a stranger.” You see, we’d introduced ourselves - my first successful circumvention of the issue at hand. Plus, I got a laugh. Bonus.

He later told my mom that he didn’t want to be rude to me. That I was just firing questions at him left and right and as soon as he thought I would be on my way, I’d just come back with another one. Poor guy just wanted to work on his tan.

The reports of my continued talking started as soon as I was off to school. My very first report card in kindergarten suggested that I was a very good student, but talked too much. I would finish my work early and assume everyone around me had as well. That meant it was time to play, right? Seems completely logical to me.

My parents assured every teacher they would speak to me about it. And they would. They tried to help me understand that just because I was finished, didn’t mean everyone else was. That just because I was done learning whatever the teacher was saying—whether that was because the lesson was complete or I was just ready to move on—I wasn’t in charge of the direction the class should go in. Whatever.

They tried, really they did. But, when you’re a kid and your parents encourage you to become who you’re going to be, sometimes the balance is tough to figure out. I mean, we had a costume closet! Yet year after year, it was always the same thing. “Julie is a good student, but talks too much.” Looking back, it was clear that I was bored.

In second grade, the day of our fabulous Halloween Carnival no less, I came home with a note from my teacher. Not a good one.

When my mom asked me about it, I said I got bored and didn’t feel like taking the spelling test anymore. I obviously knew how to spell already and didn’t want to be troubled with having to prove it. Plus, come on, it was Herbie! He’s going bananas!

So, my mom took a look at the accompanying test.

That’s right, I was apparently so tired of taking the test, I stopped midway through a word. She made me pull out the book so she could look at it. There was some speculation that I was cheating. The word was “drop”. She scanned the entire book and it wasn’t in there once. “See? I just wanted to read Herbie!” Then she read the next page that came with the note. Stupid Mrs. Miller made me write the “5 Reasons For Not Reading a Book During a Spelling Test”.

Yeah, she obviously didn’t like my answers. A seven year old basically told her she was insane and didn't give her what she wanted. Plus, if I was getting a “zoro”, I wanted the horse that came with it. While my mom tried to control her laughter, she explained to me, once again, why I can’t just move on to something else when the first task hasn’t been completed. Of course, she threw in the bit about me not talking to everyone around me when I do finish what I’m supposed to. I just didn’t understand why they weren’t done too. The faster we get done, the faster we can move on to something fun, right? Hurry up!

It became a running joke in our house. With each report card that came, bets were taken, bribes bandied about. I lost every time. Stupid teachers. Who can’t keep their mouths shut now? I didn’t get bad grades, so they couldn’t really harp on me too much about school but I was disruptive to those around me. I tested each and every teacher I had. Mind you, I didn’t do it on purpose. I just wanted to be social.

By fifth grade, the parentals were sick of hearing about it. They had the same spiel for every teacher conference – “We know, we know.” I really feel sorry for them having to endure that over and over and over again. Finally, my dad had the brilliant idea of a contract. I’ll agree to their terms – or else. I had to sign it and everything.

I especially like the fact that I am clearly being dictated what to write, but they don’t bother to tell me how to spell “whipping”.

I guess I should have finished that spelling test after all. But, as you can see, Herbie clearly was going bananas - he's fighting a bull!