Walter Blevins's Open Salon Blog

A Day in the Life of Tink

Wed, 30 May 2012 10:05:50 -0400

Just to wake up this morning--here's something my wife came across and sent my way.

Then, lo and behold, I discovered that it's all about our very own feline friend, Tink.

Foodie Tuesday: A Cooking Show I'd Love to Watch

Tue, 29 May 2012 10:05:33 -0400

No recipe today. I spent the weekend cooking and didn’t feel like writing something that no one is really interested in anyway.

So what to do on Foodie Tuesday? Well, Cheap Bastid has always had a bit of a hang-up over people who have to “foo-foo” their foodie food, use exotic ingredients and otherwise make pretentious pieces of “plate art” suitable for cell-phone camera photos and insertion to Pinterest before a bite is taken.

Arguably one of the best things I’ve seen on TV food shows is when Penn Gillette (hopefully that’s spelled right) got up from the table on “Top Chef”—when it was pretty obvious that he wasn’t getting along with Padmah and left saying “thanks for the grub”. My point is this—no matter how much sculpture one tries to put into a plate of food with micro-greens and over-engineered sauces, it’s still “grub”.

So with that in mind, I came across this short video SPOOF last week featuring Ted Allen—who judges “Iron Chef” a lot and who is the nominal host of Food Network’s “Chopped”. This clip shows Allen as a guest chef on a morning talk show cooking up a meal (hint: this is a production of "The Onion"). It shows Allen's sense of humor and ability to laugh at the silliness of it all. Here it is and I hope you enjoy it:

When You're Just Killing Time--Check Out Chuck Lorre

Fri, 25 May 2012 12:05:09 -0400

Just thought I'd pass this on with a long weekend ahead. If you've got a bit of time to kill here's a site that will amuse you.

It's Chuck Lorre Productions (http://www.chucklorre.com).

Chuck Lorre is the producer of "The Big Bang Theory"--one of our favorite TV shows about 4 nerds and a blonde. He also produces "2 1/2 Men" a show I have never watched in my aversion to all things Charlie Sheen.

Lorre posts a "credit card" at the end of each show as the closing credits are rolling. Many of them are absolutely off the wall funny and others are "WTF" whacko. I got the bright idea of "googling" him the other night and all the credit cards are posted on his site--just click on the numbers listed on the left side of the page.

Here's one of our favorites:

<< >>

CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #240

A wise man once told me that we are all God in drag. I like that. Sometimes when I'm in a public place or sitting at a stop light, I'll watch people walking by and I'll silently say to myself, "He's God. She's God. He's God. She's God." Before long I always find myself feeling a warm sense of affinity for these strangers. The experience is even more powerful when I do this while observing a person who is clearly suffering. On occasion I'll test my little spiritual practice by turning on Fox News. Within minutes I become an atheist.

Foodie Tuesday: Cheap Bastid’s Porn Dogs

Tue, 22 May 2012 09:05:23 -0400

I tried an experiment not too long ago. A while back I posted what I call “Weiners Wellington” where you wrap crescent roll dough around hot dogs—what’s been called “Pigs in a Blanket” for a long, long time and a simple dinner that kids have always loved.

But have you priced out crescent rolls (even store brand) lately? No way! I’m a Cheap Bastid. I’m not going to pay that much for refrigerated dough—even if it is flaky.

I like my dogs “encased” in dough. So what am I going to do? I thought to myself, “Self, make some biscuit dough, then roll it out thin and use that.” So that’s what I did.

Biscuit dough is quick, easy and cheap. In fact, I even tried it 2 different ways—regular biscuit dough and then substituting 1/3 of a cup of regular flour with corn flour and corn meal.

Hey, it worked! Not as soft and flaky as crescent rolls but a nice “biscuity” blanket. Kind of like a dough-condom if you will—or based on the shape that several of them ended up having, what Mrs. CB called “Porn Dogs” with just a little bit of a giggle.

What the hell, it’s an inexpensive dinner. Give it a try sometime—or shell out the extra money for the crescent rolls if you don’t want to make a mess with flour and lard and buttermilk and make regular old Weiners Wellington.

Cheap Bastid's Porn Dogs
Ingredients:
1 batch of “Mamaw’s Homemade Biscuits” (link follows:)
http://www.cheap-bastid-cooks.com/homemade-biscuits/
1 package hot dogs (I use the cheap ones)

Directions:
Get out a mixing bowl, pastry board and rolling pin to make your dough. Get out a cookie sheet.
Follow the recipe for Mamaw’s Homemade Biscuits or use your favorite recipe.

Pre-heat oven to 400.
Roll your biscuit dough out to a large rectangle that’s about 16 x 12
Cut long strips that are about 1”-1 ¼” wide.

Carefully wrap each hotdog its entire length with a strip of dough.
Put on cookie sheet and bake for 10-12 minutes or until golden brown.

Now, these come out a bit “crunchier” than the crescent roll kind but we actually like the texture. But, as you can see from the photos, if you’ve got just a bit of a naughty mind, these do end up with a certain anatomical resemblance to some other part of the male human anatomy.

Cheap Bastid is all about cooking as inexpensively as possible and making food that’s pretty doggone tasty. As I said, this was more of an experiment for me to see how they would come out. I liked the taste of the corn dog version but it’s actually a bit crunchier than the regular dough. I might make a bit of an adjustment to the recipe perhaps adding a bit of oil—or even substituting oil for the lard and see if that does it.

The Cheap Bastid Test: Well, the hot dogs cost $1 a package (and sometimes even less) because I now buy the “cheapie” chicken/turkey/pork variety rather than beef. (Beef hotdogs now cost between $4 and $5 a pound! If I’m going to spend that much on beef, I better be able to cook it medium rare and have a baked potato on the side!) And, the biscuits cost maybe $.50 to make. If I were doing the same thing with crescent rolls, I would end up spending $4.00 or so rather than $1.50. Now don’t get me wrong, $3.50 isn’t bad for a dinner for 2 but it’s not as good as $1.50.

That's the Cheap Bastid Way: Eat Good. Eat Cheap. Be Grateful!

Track on TV and Rigor Mortis (yep, I'm talking Bill Cosby)

Sun, 20 May 2012 16:05:51 -0400

Today's a quiet kind of Sunday. I read the San Diego paper and then walked up the street and bought a copy of the "North County Times" too.

Isn't it too bad that the "local", suburban paper is actually a better paper than the "big city paper" the San Diego "Union Tribune"? Geesh.

Anyway, there's not much happening today and I've had the tube on. Later on I'm grilling some pork strips and then we'll cap the evening with our weekly "Mad Men" and "The Killing" fix.

But for now, I've had Fox Sports West on where they've been showing the NCAA Big 12 Track Meet. I've always had a soft spot for track and it's actually a pretty good sport for on TV--the editing means that the events follow one after the other. Not like a "live" meet which is "hurry up and wait".

But anyhow, as so often is the case anymore, the final event was the men's and women's 4 x 400. This is a race that requires speed and stamina like no other race in track. Of all the sprints the 400 is the most painful.

Let's put it this way, 40 years ago I ran track in high school--yep, I ran what then was the 440 because then it was measured in yards. Here's what I looked like then:

That's me running the 440 in 1969--as soon as I got across that line right in front of me I fell down. Then got up, went across that curb off the track and threw up!

But, if you're "older" like me, you've probably at least once or twice listened to Bill Cosby's incredibly funny, absolutely true to life monologue called "Track and Field: Mile Relay". I just found it on You Tube and thought I'd share it with you (it's 8 1/2 minutes long, but it is soooooooo worth it).

Give it a listen, you're not doing anything better on a Sunday afternoon, are you?