Kate Bishop's Open Salon Blog

Failure of Healthcare = Failure of Political System

Fri, 18 Dec 2009 03:12:00 -0500

Former Senate Majority Leader Tom Dashcle (D - SC), clearly states the issue about the quality of care in this country due to the insurance companies' unethical business practices in this roundtable discussion on Meet the Press which aired on August 16th, 2009.

Here we are now, about to do the very thing which Daschle believes would be tantamount to holding us 37th on the WHO pole for quality of care; keeping our care in the hands of the insurance conglomerates, who are fiscally incented by law to create profits for their shareholders, not to keep prices down or deliver quality care.

*Entire video loaded, section I am referring to is 19:30 to 24:00. Watch these 4.5 minutes, it will be worth your time. Sorry to torture you with Dick Armey - but the other points in between are worth it.

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In fact, I think it is important to remember Obama's important words on his September 9, 2009, Congressional address regarding why we need a public option (in some form, whether it was an extension of Medicare or the "exchange" mentioned below):

"My guiding principle is, and always has been, that consumers do better when there is choice and competition. Unfortunately, in 34 states, 75% of the insurance market is controlled by five or fewer companies. In Alabama, almost 90% is controlled by just one company. Without competition, the price of insurance goes up and the quality goes down. And it makes it easier for insurance companies to treat their customers badly - by cherry-picking the healthiest individuals and trying to drop the sickest; by overcharging small businesses who have no leverage; and by jacking up rates.

Insurance executives don't do this because they are bad people. They do it because it's profitable. As one former insurance executive testified before Congress, insurance companies are not only encouraged to find reasons to drop the seriously ill; they are rewarded for it. All of this is in service of meeting what this former executive called "Wall Street's relentless profit expectations."

Now, I have no interest in putting insurance companies out of business. They provide a legitimate service, and employ a lot of our friends and neighbors. I just want to hold them accountable. The insurance reforms that I've already mentioned would do just that. But an additional step we can take to keep insurance companies honest is by making a not-for-profit public option available in the insurance exchange. Let me be clear - it would only be an option for those who don't have insurance. No one would be forced to choose it, and it would not impact those of you who already have insurance. In fact, based on Congressional Budget Office estimates, we believe that less than 5% of Americans would sign up." *

This bill has turned into what Obama declared would be less than 5% of Americans signing up for the not-for-profit public option in the “exchange” in hopes of keeping the insurance giants honest, to turning over 65 million new members required to take insurance, or be dealt a "fine", from the same insurance giants Daschle heavily criticizes for manipulative practices, with little regulation and no added competition.

It feels eerily similar to a banking bailout which provided a lot of carrots for CEO's bank accounts without any stick? I remember paying for that, do you? Why don't our elected officials?

The incredible economist of our times, Steven J. Levitt, who wrote Freakonomics, can prove anything can be solved when you find the right incentive. Simply put, our politicians have just created a bill to incent the insurance market to run their businesses as usual, provided them with a mandated market without competition, and managed to do all this with the power of a Democratic Supermajority under their heft.

And, before anybody starts beating the "Republicans were right" drum too quickly, go back and watch the former House Majority Dick Armey (R-TX) make a mockery of sought after political air time. In other words, he is a mumbling idiot. The other side of the aisle had their chance and lined us up for the brink of this mess; we just teetered over as Obama came in.

The entire political system in Washington is completely defunct. I do not believe this is an overstatement. I also do not believe this is the first time in the past quarter-century where we were at this low in national morale at the hands of a corrupt system. I do ardently hope this is the last time our inspired citizenry, the one's who came to the poles in November 2008 with a real hope for change, will find a way to make their voices heard once again.

If you are not concerned about the state of our union, dare I say “the time is now”?

*See full transcript here.

** Comments turned off for personal reasons, feel free to PM.

Do Mentally Ill Have the Right to Expect Compassion?

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 14:11:43 -0500

I wonder how many people answered ‘yes’? I wonder if that will be your answer by the end of this…

I believe there is a BIG difference between having compassion towards someone with a mental illness and letting him or her walk over you by using it as an excuse. I know, I know, you are going to say, "yes but some mental illnesses preclude people from knowing they are out of line." Yes, at times, this is true. However, there is a key time that comes, the time after they have realized they have been in a manic, triggered, altered or whatever state causes the onset of disturbing behavior, and in my opinion, it is their responsibility to do their utmost to amend that behavior. While this is not always possible, it is the only true path to healing if the person is able and willing to heal.

Notice I did not say apologizes; I believe apologies become meaningless somewhere near the third or fourth round. I said amend, which means to change by taking responsibility for it, seek help, be honest about it with those who will respect you and listen (and there are plenty who won’t – I recommend cutting those people out of your life until you are at a place where their judgment won’t matter to you or indefinitely if you must), and when you make a mistake, simply do your best to correct it. If you do not have a team of healers, it would be in your best interest to get one. It will be this support network that will be essential to help you overcome the hurdles you encounter. They will teach you to jump higher. Friends are great, but it is not their job to be professional psychologists (although many like to play them).

As a mentally ill person do you have a right to expect compassion? In my experience, only from yourself. The key word is "expect." You have a right to not allow others to treat you rudely, set boundaries, and be firm in your truth. Also, please notice I never used the word 'deserved', of course everyone deserves compassion. Yet, the reality is, we still live in a world which is in lack of supply of it. If you wait around for others to provide you the heart you need in your life to heal, you will most likely wait a long time. It does not dismiss the idea that more compassion in this world would be revolutionary. However, I firmly believe this starts from within so you can spread it without. Even here, the great quote from Gandhi applies, “Be the change you want to see in the world."

Anyone with a mental illness rooted in trauma, who is an adult, is also responsible for that illness. I do not believe it is the responsibility of someone’s abuser, family, friends, coworkers, or any other endless list of people who I have heard used. This does not mean the abuser was not the cause, but this time has passed, and it is time to make a decision: move forward or not. Frankly, I believe using any one person or event as an excuse, will alienate you from the very people who are capable of providing compassion. It shows you are only willing to stay in bitterness rather than take the next steps to healing. Would you want to be in the company of that?

I am not speaking to anything in the schizoid-affected or autism spectrum. However, in terms of Bi-Polar I & II (Previously referred to as Manic Depressive); Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Simple & Complex (PTSD); Dissociation (Dissociative Identity Disorder is what most therapist refer to now instead of Multiple Personality Disorder, this is another spectrum disorder); Borderline Personality Disorder; Attachment Disorder; Narcissism; Sociopathy, and Alcoholism/Drug Addiction, this readily applies.

If you are trying to support someone who allows their mental illness to hold others hostage with chronic vitriolic behavior without accountability for their actions, you are enabling them to remain ill. I don't care how terrible their situation was or is. If they need help, there are entire systems available to support them; it is their responsibility to ask for the help they need. I am saying this because it is absolutely essential to recovery; it is how I have seen every succesful recovery work. The exception would be an intervention, and typically these usually have a one chance appeal. In other words, use this card wisely and with the help of professional direction.

I know you may not want to hear this, but you are just not as important as you may think you are to this person's recovery. If you think your role is that important, you are definitely not the right person to help them. It isn't about you either. Support is just that, support - not defender, activist, semi-professional annihilator of all evils on their behalf (remember, this is coming from someone who spent quite a bit of time wanting to be rescued herself). The professionals really need to have a lead in directing a person's mental health. If someone is not receiving professional help, their mental illness is untreated and you are not dealing with someone who can engage with you on your level, at least all the time. The best thing you can do is provide them with resources and potentially get them to these resources.

Many of us want to be compassionate souls, I know I do; I am not always successful, I am no saint. When someone's mental illness runs roughshot on my life, and they do not have the willingness to address their behavior, this is rather simple, yet hard, to deal with. I do not expend energy trying to help them change. It is their life, and it is up to them as to the quality they desire for themselves. Firsthand, I can tell you, the work for any type of trauma recovery is very, very difficult, so I respect the decision not to want to do it. However, I also respect myself enough to know I deserve non-toxic relationships and I will not be involved with someone who over steps my boundaries or will not honor my choice of recovery. This is not easy, but as time has taught me, very necessary.

For those who do not have the skills to recover, I am always happy to point them to any available resources I know of and wait to hear how I may be helpful to them. The key for me in caregiving is not directing any one else's life, but waiting to see how I may be of assistance. The best spiritual tool I have is a prayer called tonglen. It is amazingly powerful and can be used for a variety of situations, even someone you meet on the street. A homeless aid worker introduced it to me, it is the prayer I use the most in my life.

I am recovering from, worked with, and know many people who have these illnesses. Most people live normal, healthy lives in recovery from mental illness. The ones who are successful in their recoveries from trauma follow the guidelines I have mentioned above of self-accountability and understand at one time in their lives they were victims of crime but refuse to have a victim mentality. I also have seen my daughter through recovery from her own PTSD; we just eclipsed the three-year anniversary of her introduction to counseling. Those in recovery from mood disorders, treat it like they have diabetes and do not use it as a crutch nor an excuse. Rarely have I seen mood disorders as a diagnosis for chronic caustic behavior; usually those types of challenges lie within personality disorders.

There are women in Darfur who will never see the light of a counseling center. I was blessed with that opportunity and I did not let it pass me by. America has a lot of resources, although dwindling in this economy, and they are available if someone really wants to get well. I don't know anyone who didn't overcome many hard knocks along this road, and they were succesful by searching out support. When one situation failed, they looked to another. Learning to use your internal compass and decide who is coming from love is essential in finding your support network. You can always feel it if you are open to it.

I have encountered many people who could not attune to what I was going through and were unwilling to support me. When I quit expecting certain people to be there for me, the right people showed up. The universe is magical this way. Also, this does not mean I allowed people to be cruel or unkind to me. People who were rude, hostile, or indifferent, quickly lost priority in my life – this included “family”. I used boundaries at first, and if they were overstepped, I learned how to set new ones in a manner that was proportionate to the offense.

∞

I will leave you with the story that was truly the turning point in my life. I was in a treatment facility for alcohol and drug addiction when I became very suicidal. It could have been due to the drug withdrawl or another of other factors – who knows. It scared the hell out of me. I went to my counselor, who I didn’t like, based on the fact he represented authority, and told him this because I was so freaked out. He didn’t seem that fazed but calmly gave me instructions, which I followed. Later, I was called out of lecture to come to the nurse's office. A group of three people were there for me to sign a “no suicide” contract. I was humiliated which in turn made me infuriated. After signing it, I went back to the lecture hall shaking. When group came, I gave this man the stink eye of the ages and would not talk. My knee shook up and down like a drum beating to the rhythm of ants on crack. I did not speak in the group for three days (I am sure that hurt every one so much more than me). Finally, on the third day, I somehow was left to walk back to the main building with my counselor. Very maturely, I tried to walk ahead.

He said, “Kate, can I speak with you?”

Awkwardly I stopped. “What?” I said in my most snarly tone.

“I want to apologize to you for having to report our conversation to the treatment director. If I could have possibly gotten away with it, I would not have, but I could have lost my job if I didn’t. I can see how much it embarrassed you and it pains me greatly. I am very, very sorry.”

In that moment, I knew the power of love from one human being to another. We both knew he didn’t have to say that, he could have hid behind the covenants of his job description and left me to get over it. But, he didn’t. He told me the truth, with heart.

∞

Comments are off due to reasons previously mentioned, feel free to PM. Love to you all, especially the mentally ill.

The Girl in the Cage

Sun, 8 Nov 2009 16:11:00 -0500

Do not move a muscle. Do not throw up. Do not show pain. Do not come back into your body. You are special. You are different. You are like them. You will make it.

They told you so.

∞

“Are you here?” asked Carolyn as she snapped her fingers in front of her face.

The woman stared blankly back at Carolyn. She could hear her. Tenseness coursed through her fibers while a profound warmth rocked her center from within and without. Slowly, the rigidity began to give way, her body returned inch by inch, and speech became available yet again.

“I’m here.”

“Can I help you off the ground? Or do you need a pillow?"

“No. I would rather do the rest from down here. I’m afraid of seizing again and hitting my head. The floor is fine.”

“Let me know when you are ready” Carolyn says as she lifts her head and puts the pillow under it.

“Okay.”

∞

There is a sprawling light up on the ceiling, watching. It is a glorious, effervescent, all inclusive opalescent light with golden shimmers. It is alive. It is omniscient. It is the source.

You shower yourself in this comfort while the events unfold.

You watch your body as it succumbs to their desires of hate. In some moments, you wish they would finish the job for no other reason than to remain with the light. As soon as you climb down off the ceiling and enter your flesh, you will forget the comfort of the light until you return. You will forget its existence. You will be six again. You will have the mind of a six year old and all of the magical thinking which accompanies it. You will believe what they do and say.

You will think you are one of them.

∞

“I am ready."

“What do you need to know?” Carolyn asks gingerly.

“It is over now.”

She watches Carolyn’s fingers as they move back and forth in front of her face. The bilateral stimulation causes her left and right lateral hemispheres to engage and the memories to move form her amygdala forward into her prefrontal cortex. It is here where they finally receive a time stamp, where they receive linear context. The appropriate emotions are finally released from being stored in the body, causing physical decay. The spirit disentangles itself from being held prisoner to an abuser's persuasive delusions.

“I am in the cage.”

“You were in the cage” Carolyn corrects to provide her with a point of reference in time. She doesn’t understand the idea of ‘now’ like others do; that is as whimsical a concept to her as walking on the moon.

“I was in the cage” she repeats. “They are coming to get me. It is him. He tells me it is my turn. I look at the girl in the cage to my right and I wish it was her turn. I feel terrible about this. I feel guilty. I feel like a horrible, wretched person. Who thinks something like that?”

“A six year old who is trying to survive. A six year old who has been brainwashed. A six year old who had no one looking out for her” Carolyn interjects.

She begins to sob. The pain thrashes through her in waves and her eyes pour out the results. Guilt consumes her heart, her throat, her world. As a woman, she can not fathom thinking this thought; knowing she did overwhelms her. However, in this moment, she is not a woman; she is processing the thoughts of a six year old girl. It feels as if she is drowning.

When she looks down and sees her woman hands it confuses her more. She crawls back up on the ceiling and decides to stay there for awhile.

∞

When it is over, they lavish you with food. You are still not allowed to put on any clothes. You have to keep the dog collar on which makes swallowing food hard. You greedily eat anyway, not knowing when the next meal will come.

He tells you how different you are from the rest. You eat this up quicker than the food provided. He tells you how beautiful you are. He tells you how special you are. He tells you because of your obedience you will be an honorary female member of their club.

He calls it a club.

For a moment, a burst of wisdom from a continuum of ages (lives you have lived, as well as people you have known) shines through the madness and you know clear through your being you will never be like him. You are different, just not in the way he is saying.

He is a liar. Swallow this morsel of truth and lock it deep down in your soul. Hide it from yourself if you need to. First, you must survive.

∞

“Do you need more time?” Carolyn strokes her head as she lies comatose staring at the ceiling. Drool is dribbling out of the corners of her mouth. Carolyn gets a Kleenex and dabs at it. She is an angel on earth - that Carolyn.

Seconds pass methodically.

She fills in her body once again. The light has recharged her soul. Her body takes a little more time.

“No. I want to get this over with” she finally whispers.

Her eyes resume following Carolyn’s fingers. Left right, left right, left right.

“I am in the room where they are feeding me after raping me, again. I feel immense guilt all over my body for wishing it had been the other girl’s turn.”

“Where do you feel it? Point to it on your body.” Carolyn’s tone is changing, becoming more directive.

“It really is all over. I just can’t shake feeling guilty for those thoughts.”

“Let’s move it through your body. Let’s move it out.” Carolyn kneels and starts yanking at the guilt as if she is reaching at the air around her client’s body and pulling it out in gobs. She does this for about a minute.

“Do you feel lighter?” Carolyn asks as she resumes moving her fingers.

“Yes. Yes I do.”

“Now I want to tell this six year old that it is a completely normal thought. When you are in a life-threatening situation, it is like war. The warlords were also giving you drugs, your consciousness was altered. Your brain becomes primal and its only job is to help you survive. This is completely normal. It is not a reflection of who she is or who she will become. Are you ready?”

“Yes” she says, sobbing now.

“We’re sending this back in uteros, before she was born, and telling her this awful thing is going to happen, and any thoughts she has are a function of survival. We are going to bring that through all her ages. Just follow my fingers. Okay?”

“Okay.”

∞

You are returned to the cage. However, something irreversible happened within you which you nurture until you are allowed to see sunlight again. The realization that no matter what they tell you, no matter how much you have to act like them to survive, you will never be one of them no matter how many times they say it, brings renewed strength to a place in your core.

Of course, you will never let them see this. You can’t. That would get you killed and you know it. You settle for this being a secret source of strength. You don’t dare let one single tear leak out.

Not one.

∞

“How do you feel now?” Carolyn asks with premier caution.

“Relieved and tired.”

“You will need to get some rest today. You conquered a big piece of internal business. I am so proud of you.”

“I do not know how to thank you. Words will never do. Never.” I mean this in a way I can not summon the appropriate language to convey. I am afraid it doesn’t exist.

We stare into one another’s eyes. We are both crying. We silently agree the universe united us.

I am released from a lifetime of misery, of perceived wrongdoing, of feeling subhuman.

For the first time in my life, I know freedom. I know I had to be willing to do the work, she always tells me this. I am proud of myself for this. However, after years of bouncing through counselors, I know what a gift her guidance is.

How do you thank someone for that?

∞

I feel the door to the cage closing without me in it.

UPDATE: Suspect Shot In Police Assassination Case

Fri, 6 Nov 2009 23:11:47 -0500

MARK HARRISON / THE SEATTLE TIMES

Officer Timothy Brenton was shot assassination style on Halloween night when an assailant pulled up to his parked police unit and began unloading his rifle into it, hitting him and just grazing the rookie Officer Britt Sweeney who he was training at the time. More details of this can be found here.

While mourners were gathered at Key Arena to grieve the loss of Officer Timothy Brenton, killed in the line of duty on Halloween night, detectives were following a lead that matched the description of the 1980-83 Datsun 210 they had been looking for. This brought them to the home of Christopher J. Monfort.

The source which tipped detectives said that Monfort had been acting strangely and only recently decided to cover the vehicle, which is odd since it has been all over the news for the past six days.

Detectives waited to see who approached the vehicle, and when they saw the suspect approach, they got out to question him. Immediately he ran towards his apartment home which has an outside stair case. As detectives closed in on him, he turned to reveal a handgun and tried to shoot. Astonishingly, the gun did not discharge any rounds. He turned to run again with detectives close behind; he turned and aimed the gun again and this time he was shot by a Seattle SWAT officer. He was shot in the head and was flown to Harborview Medical Center where he is in critical condition.

Police have since detained two other men, one at a bus stop near the apartment complex and another in Federal Way. The men may have ties to the wounded man and the apartment.

We are learning more about the suspect, Christopher John Monfort. He was a graduate of the University of Washington with a major in criminal justice, was a member of the McNair Scholars Progaram, lived in low income housing and has no criminal history. It is believed he was recently laid off from a job as a security officer.

UPDATE: Police have found evidence linking the suspect, Christopher Monford, to both the arson of police vehicles on October 22nd and the shooting of Officer Timothy Brenton on Halloween night. The article which links those two crimes is an American flag.

The two crimes are being seen as "domestic terrorism", based on the nature of the crimes and the hints Monford had left regarding why he was targeting the police (a note was left at the arson crime threatening police due to issues of police brutality).

Of all the people who know Monford, none seem to think he is capable of such a heinous act. There are flip flopping stories as to whether he was reserved or outgoing, but no one puts him in a violent offender category.

What is probably the most disturbing, is his thesis he submitted in the McNair program, "The Power of Citizenship Your Government Doesn't Want You to Know About: How to Change the Inequity of the Criminal Justice System Immediately, Through Active Citizen Nullification of Laws, As a Juror."

He fought for equal rights of minorities and was active in volunteering with juvenile delinquents. Additionally, he was always known for wanting to become a police officer.

Program coordinator of Highline Community College, where Monford attended before the UW, had this to say: "You've shaken me to my toes," he told a Times reporter. "He's one of those people you thought would make a difference, a positive, constructive difference."

PHOTO: KING 5 NEWS (Monford Being Arrested After Being Shot)

A City Mourns: Police Officer Assassinated

Fri, 6 Nov 2009 14:11:08 -0500

The city of Seattle is hosting thousands of people from around the state to honor Seattle Police Officer Timothy Brenton who was shot in cold blood on the evening of Halloween. On routine patrol, he was the passenger in a parked unit, with rookie officer Britt Sweeney in the driver’s seat, when a gunman pulled up and opened fire into their vehicle.

BARRY FITZSIMMONS / THE SEATTLE TIMES

Officer Brenton died at the scene while Officer Sweeney, who was in training at the time, was able to not only return fire at the shooter, but also call in for backup. Officer Sweeney, being in the driver’s seat, miraculously was able to duck in time when the shots began. While not having returned to active duty yet, she sustained only minor injuries where the bullet grazed her back. She is being hailed as a hero for her swift response and bravery.

This morning a five-mile procession began at the University of Washington, with more than 1,000 police cars, and is traveling to Key Arena where a public memorial is being held. The streets of Seattle are lined with officers and honor guard from around the state, other states, as well as from Canada. Live news coverage is overrunning local programming in an effort to honor the sacrifice this humble man gave in the name of public service and safety.

Officer Brenton was a field-training officer, routinely training rookie officers like Sweeney, who had only been on active duty for a month at the time of the incident. He was known as a "no nonsense" type of guy with a great sense of humor. He loved the outdoors but truly loved his job best of all. He had been with the Seattle Police Depatment since 2000, before which he was with both the LaConner and Hoquiam Police Departments. He was 39 at the time of his death. His wife Lisa, and his two young children, a daughter 11, and a son 8, survive him.

SEATTLE POLICE DEPARTMENT HOMEPAGE/BRENTON LEFT

Since the turn of the century, America has been united in our grief of losing service men and women on our own soil. September 11, 2001, we saw unprecedented loss of life by those who have committed their lives to uphold safety for the rest of us. Yesterday, we saw the actions of one gunman at Ft. Hood, Texas, annhilate an entire crowd of people who were preparing to serve on our behalf. This, again, is one of those days, where we lose someone in a senseless act of violence and we are uniting in our concern for the family, the community, and the policeman who was targeted.

Seattle is a place that grieves together. The radio stations have been doing fundraisers for the family and florists have been working overtime to ensure all of the orders for arrangements which have come in from across the nation were made in time for today’s memorial. One look at the procession today shows how much we are united in honoring a man who not only served this community, but also served in the first Gulf War.

Ongoing investigations are looking for the driver of a late model 1980-83 Datsun 210. Under separate investigation is whether this case is linked to a separate arson on October 22, where several vehicles were burned in a maintenance yard and a note was left threatening acts of violence towards police.

Please take a moment to hold this man and his family in your heart. He gave the ultimate sacrifice in an effort to protect and serve; another hero has fallen.

ELLEN M. BANNER/SEATTLE TIMES

CLIFF DESPEAUX /SEATTLE TIMES

ELLEN M. BANNER/SEATTLE TIMES