Kind of Blue's Open Salon Blog

Video Proof That Glenn Beck Decreases Domestic Violence

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 18:11:09 -0500

Convicted Spousal Abuser Watching Glenn Beck

Answer to Torman's OPEN CALL "Our Love Story"

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 16:11:23 -0500

April 19, 1985, was the evening I met my beloved wife. It was a day just like any other day for me at age 20. I woke up, went to class at the University, met up with my best friend (still to this day) Derek and it was basketball all the rest of the day. That day up to that point, was like nearly every day in college up to then. It was that evening that changed everything. It changed the face of my world forver and most likely saved my life.

A little background leading up to then. When I was in college my first two years, I had three passions, basketball, partying and girls, and yes, in that order. If I wasn't in class we were practicing or I was partying and/or off with some female. The problem was at age 20 I had already been a hard partier for 5 years. I had started to realize that none of the girls (notice I don't call them women), no matter how hot they were physically, did anything for me long term. I felt like a commodity with each of them. I could see no future with any of them due to their shallow nature and I became a serial dater. I just went out with whomever and never worried about feelings. This goes totally against my compassionate nature.

In 1985 all the girls wanted to do was party and get their groove on anyway. There was so much "Madonna-influence" at that time and the entire Material Girl thing didn't sit well with me. We had a tribe/band/commune of friends who stayed at one of two apartments every night. We rotated most of the time. I had moved back in with my parents at that time to save money, but rarely slept there. This was getting very, very old. I drank and partied way too much, was way too promiscuous, and my grades were showing it. We were having a blast, but I was unfulfilled.

So, back to April 19th, 1985. My afforementioned best friend Derek and I decided to swear off women for good that day. We new they were having $1.00 Heineken night at a favorite college club near campus called "Richard A's". We made a pact that we were going to Richard A's to drink Heineken and say f**k off to all the females of the world. We were both very sincere about this at the time. I honestly get no joy in senseless sex. Fellas, you can call me what you want but don't call me dishonest.

The club was packed and we found the only booth available. We drank, and drank some more. We laughed at all the guys in there with sloppy drunk girls hanging on them. Then walked in one of my classmates and fellow business majors Elizabeth and a friend. Elizabeth saw me and the two came over. There was no place to sit in the entire place and Elizabeth asked if her and her friend Susan could sit with Derek and myself. I didn't know Susan because she's two years older than me and a math major. Elizabeth sat next to me and Susan next to Derek. Derek and I were very well known in the party circuits and had VERY sociable reputations so the two of them felt safe sitting with us.

I found myself struck by lightning when this beautiful, petite woman sat directly across from me with her big amazing smile. Elizabeth was one of my good friend's girlfriend, so I paid her little mind as she was a friend and friend only. I was mesmerized by Susan. We started talking and Derek was talking to Elizabeth, as he had always had a thing for her. Derek asked Elizabeth to dance and while he was gone I moved over next to Susan so we could hear one another. We talked, and talked and talked. I am NOT a beligerant drunk by any stretch. I can drink and drink and all I do is get funnier. I'm like a drunk Chandler Bing from "Friends." Pretty soon, it was as if the pact I had made with Derek just floated away. I thought in my mind THAT NIGHT, "Wow, she's incredible and I could marry her!" No shit, I really did.

It was getting late, and the two of them said they needed to go. We told them we were going to a 24 hour Perkins to eat some late dinner/early breakfast. Susan laughed and laughed at me for my "glamouring" way of trying to sweet talk her into going. They were tired and they left. I told her I would see her again but didn't get her number since she didn't have one. She was living with her sister off campus and they didn't have a phone. I remember thinking of her all the time for the next several days.

When the next school week came around I saw Elizabeth in class. I asked her if Susan was interested in me. She laughed and said how would she know. I, the ever confident, never nervous around a female in my life was scared shitless to ask Susan out! I asked Elizabeth if she would ask Susan if she would consider going out with me. The next day at school Elizabeth tracked me down and said Susan said, and I quote, "well, if he asked, I wouldn't say no." WTF? That's one of those fucked up smart chick answers I thought. (Look, I was twenty and full of testosterone and shit. Wait a minute, I'm 44 and still am...) Well I asked, what does that mean. Elizabeth said she just said she wouldn't say no. It was close to the end of the school year and she would be going home to south central Tennessee with her parents soon. So I just resigned myself it wasn't meant to be.

I was crushed. Damn. It was the last week before final exams and Susan would be moving back to her parents for the summer. I just moved on. I figured it was just another too good to be true moment in life. I went back to playing basketball all day and getting trashed the next couple of days. Then, on that weekend we (Derek and I were inseparable back then) went to another club across the street from Richard A's and were sitting at a table being stalked and hit on by a couple of bar whores. We wanted nothing to do with them but they had latched onto sitting with us and some other guy friends of ours. Our "commune" of party people.

Then to my surprise, in walked Susan and her sister Mary and a couple of other friends. They were sitting by the window maybe 25 feet away from us. This was the last big weekend before finals. I kept looking at Susan. She was so beautiful I couldn't even put it into words. And so intelligent, witty and humble. And, she doesn't even drink! I failed to mention that. She would maybe sip on one mixed drink for the entirety of a night, but was the antithesis of all the girls I had known. And then, I saw her walking toward me and then past me to the bathroom...She said "hi" as she passed and patted me on the shoulder. I was speechless. This girl really messed my brain up! When she came back from the bathroom and sat down, she motioned for me to come over. I walked over, she introduced me to her friends and asked if I wanted to join them.

She told me she didn't stop the first time by because the "bar whores" (my descriptive term, not hers) were at our table and she didn't know if I was with one of them. I laughed my ass off and said no. She said that she figured not as our body language didn't really show any interest in them. As soon as the two girls left, Susan (as she likes to rub it in) made the first move of the rest of our lives. We talked and talked again. I was all about her and she about me. I asked her if she would have lunch with me the next day and hang out. I was broke as a street bum at the time and was going to have to come up with some cash to even afford to take her out. She agree to meet me the next day for lunch.

After I left, I sold an entire case full of old cassette tapes to one of my friends for some cash. I was set. I had a tank full of gas and money in my pocket and the girl of my dreams waiting to go out with me. Life was good. I barely slept that night. What kind of hold did this beautiful woman have on me already? She was under my skin, big time.

I picked her up at her and her sister's apartment the next day. We went to a favorite eating place near campus and again, just talked and talked with the ease you have with someone you've known your entire life. I asked her if she wanted to go over to my parents house and take my dog for a walk. (Consider as I mentioned, I was BROKE.) She said sure so we proceeded. My dog Nikki loved people. I had saved her a few years earlier on the street and she was hopelessly devoted to me. The three of us took an early spring walk on the most beautiful cloud free day you can imagine.

It was getting near the evening hours and Susan had promised to go to a big girlie sleepover party at Elizabeth's house. No guys allowed. I didn't want to let her go. We looked at each other and the moment was right, I went in for the kiss...That my friends, was all she wrote. She left and said she would call me from Elizabeth's that night. I sat and watched a Braves baseball game that night and fore went the normal partying. I awaited her call. She called as promised and told me I made her laugh and feel comfortable and we agree to meet again the next day.

For the next two weeks up till the time she was to go back to her parents, we spent nearly every second of every day together. We mostly did nothing. Went to movies, took walks, held hands and fell in love. Two weeks into our love story something simply slipped out of my mouth that I never thought I would ever say. "I love you and I want to marry you." Two weeks! To my even more surprise she said she felt the same way. I had no ring, but the verbal deal was done.

I'll spare what happened next for a later time...It's an amazing journey we took the next two years to our wedding day. Ours, we both agree, was mutual love at first sight. She told me when we took Nikki for the walk, and she saw how much I loved animals and how much I wasn't afraid to be a good in front of her was what caused her to fall in love with me. I told her that everything she had ever done or said to me was the reason I fell in love with her...Twenty-three years later, the story continues...

June 3, 2008 Virginia Beach - Yes, The Spider Bite Trip

It's Far Better To Give Than Receive, Unless It's A Blow Job

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 20:11:17 -0500

Father to Son

Ok, you straight men have to admit the title is true. But that's not what this short post is about. This post is about the positive power of giving during the holiday season, or any time for that matter. I just returned with my family from my father's nursing facility's Thanksgiving Dinner. I saw a lot of good people who work long hours for not enough pay all there to make sure that the families and residents had plenty to eat and drink and enjoy an evening together. My father smiled, a lot.

I guess I started enjoying giving rather than receiving earlier than most. I always took buying gifts and giving to people seriously from a very young age. Maybe it's because I didn't have a lot growing up and I appreciated everything my hard working parents could give me. My son is following in those footsteps. He loves to make gifts for people by hand and is always humble when he receives a gift. He's also very thankful for all that he has.

"It is better to give than receive. Especially advice." - Mark Twain

I think whether you celebrate the holidays for religious reasons or just getting together with the ones you love, it's an important time of the year not to be alone. The world is depressing enough as it is. It's also important to never forget the art of giving. If you don't have much money (which is about 99% of us), give of your time. I know that's in short supply as well these days, but give something is better than nothing at all. Visit some sick children in the hospital or the elderly who has no family at all.

I so enjoy giving as opposed to receiving. I've always felt uncomfortable with receiving a lot of gifts. I guess I feel I have everything I need and there are so many people in the world that have nothing. I put careful thought into the gifts I give. I take it seriously right down to the cards we send out at the holidays. I honestly am missing many of my OS friends right now, but I am enjoying this sabbatical immensely. It's nothing against Open Salon and certainly nothing against the good people. I guess I've finally learned how to give myself a gift in the end. Happy Holidays.

The Use of "Tongue Twisters" to Help With Enunciation

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 19:11:21 -0500

It's no surprise to most on here that I am from the mid-south region of America. Some may call Northeastern Tennessee the south, but considering that this region fought on the side of the Union Army in the Civil War, I've always considered us just barely north of south.

With that said, I do have what some would consider a southern accent. Let me be clear though, it's not nearly as bad as most of the people who live in this region. Well, maybe "bad" is a rather elitist description, but let's say stereotypical. I have worked long and hard on pronunciation and enunciation of words in my line of work. When I truly concetrate, I can nearly lose all trace of my accent.

Because I have had to meet with heads of companies from the northeast, southeast, northwest and southwest, and pretty much everywhere in between, I didn't want to walk into offices sounding like on okie. Maybe it's just my hang-up, but I hear some of my friends and family from this area speak and I find myself thinking, "I don't want to sound like that." It sounds harsh, but my job requires an immense amount of communication.

So in college I took some elective classes on giving speeches, linguistics and any class that may better prepare me in the "real world" outside of my majors in marketing and journalism. The education of myself has continued over the 22 years since I graduated from college. I use crossword puzzles and word jumbles to keep my brain sharp (or try at least). I love to play the game "Bookworm" online to help keep my variety in semantics broad. And I have been known as nearly a master in recitation of the tongue twister. Playing trumpet doesn't hurt.

Well, my son and wife call me the master. I have an odd thing with my brain and spatial relations, hand/eye coordination and being able to read tongue twisters with very little effort. It's not something I acquired, it's something that has always come naturally. But using some tongue twisters to work on enunciation is truly valuable.

Because you have to concentrate so clearly on the words on the page, it increases your reading concentration and comprehension (or at least I've found it does.) The key is tempo and not trying to read and pronounce the words too quickly. Just for show, when you get better you can do them much faster.

I thought I would post some of my favorites and you can try them out for yourselves. I promise to videotape some recitations of said tongue twisters when I get a moment and post it on here as a follow-up to put my money where my literal mouth is...

Betty Botter's Better Batter

Betty Botter had some butter,

"But," she said, "this butter's bitter.

If I bake this bitter butter,

It would make my batter bitter.

But a bit of better butter,

That would make my batter better."

So she bought a bit of butter –

Better than her bitter butter –

And she baked it in her batter;

And the batter was not bitter.

So 'twas better Betty Botter

Bought a bit of better butter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.

A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked.

If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,

Where's the pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?

But if Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,

Were they pickled when he picked them from the vine?

Or was Peter Piper pickled when he picked the pickled peppers.

Peppers picked from the pickled pepper vine?

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"How much wood would a woodchuck chuck?"

if a wood chuck could chuck wood?

A woodchuck would chuck all the wood that he could, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

A woodchuck would chuck, all the would he could, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I SLIT A SHEET
A SHEET I SLIT.
UPON THE SLITTED SHEET,
I SIT!

(Be really careful with this one in the presence of children!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A BIG BLACK BUG
BIT A BIG BLACK BEAR.
WHERE'S THE BIG BLACK BEAR
THE BIG BLACK BUG BIT?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MOSES SUPPOSES HIS TOESES ARE ROSES,
BUT MOSES SUPPOSES ERRONEOUSLY.
FOR MOSES, HE KNOWSES
HIS TOESES AREN'T ROSES
AS MOSES SUPPOSES HIS TOESES TO BE!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE SIXTH SHEIK'S
SIXTH SHEEP'S
SICK.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She sells sea shells by the seashore. The shells she sells are surely seashells. So if she sells shells on the seashore, I'm sure she sells seashore shells.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watch which watch?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(One of my all-time favorites)

A skunk sat on a stump

The skunk thunk the stump stunk

The stump thunk the skunk stunk

So how did you do? These are only a few of the short ones. I truly enjoy reading tongue twister books, such as a couple of famous ones by Dr. Seuss, to my little boy. He marvels at my ability to maintain my tongue. I don't know why it is that have the ability to see and pronounce the actual words without getting them backward and confused, but I'm sure that someone on here far more learned than myself would know.

I know that it definitely has helped me with my public speaking and proper pronunciation and enunciation of words. That and a lot of time spent going over speeches so I don't have to look down at the page.

How Julius "Dr. J" Erving Created the NBA Before Bird/Magic

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 17:11:21 -0500

The Artistry and Creativity of Julius "Dr. J" Erving

As a young child, my father and I would catch the occasional NBA game on television on the weekend. It was very rare back in the early 70's and usually only when Wilt Chamberlain, Lew Alcindor or one of a handful of players played. After the 1976 NBA and ABA seasons, the two leagues merged into one NBA or National Basketball Association. One of, if not the chief reason was the broadened image of one Julius "Dr. J" Erving who moved from the ABA's Nets to the NBA's 76'ers.

The famous video clip below of the very first NBA dunk contest in 1976 was the catalyst that really captured the imagination of millions of young men, women and children alike. The dunk may be a bit overrated in today's NBA, but in these post Bill Russell, Oscar Robertson, Bob Cousy and Wilt Chamberlain days of basketball, basketball had fallen off the map in terms of popularity. They needed a heroic, bigger than life figure for people to marvel over. At only 6 feet 6 inches tall, Julius Erving looked more like seven feet six inches tall with his long, flowing Afro and monstrous hands.

For sports junkies like me, most everyone knows that the televising of NBA games, and playoff/championship games in particular was revolutionized when Larry Bird faced Earvin "Magic" Johnson in the 1980 NBA Finals. They too were marvelous and magical in their play, but without men like Julius Erving tapping into that "showmanship" mentality we all have, the two may have simply flown under the radar after their epic 1979 NCAA Finals. Magic's respective teams won in both matchups and one of the great sports rivalries and long lasting friendships began.

But I digress back to Erving. In my humble opinion, he was the most marvelous (in the truest sense of the word "marvel") player I've ever witnessed, in his prime. By the way the other four fellas in this video below had a hand in the breakout of the NBA as well. David Thompson may have been the greatest leaper in NBA history. In 1980 at Gardner Webb Basketball Camp, I personally witnessed the 6'4 Thompson swipe a coin off the top of a basketball backboard. George Gervin won several scoring championships and Artis Gilmore and Larry Kenon both were flamboyant players in their day.

Take a good, close look at those hands!

It wasn't just Erving's dunks that mesmerized basketball players like myself. It was his graceful gravity defying glide to the basket, finger rolls and extraordinary reverse layups as well. Dr. J did the first ever jump from the foul line dunk (shown twice below, ten seasons apart) but his artistry went way beyond the slam. I've never been any happier for one singular athlete than I was for Doc when he finally won a championship in 1983. He was so deserving.

Since his retirement, Dr. J has served eloquently and prominently as one of the NBA's leading ambassadors. He is the epitome of class and humility. I still have a copy of of a 1977 Sports Illustrated with a two page fold out life-sized image of Erving's hand. He truly has the largest hand I've ever seen on any human being.

Yesterday, Cleveland Cavalier Lebron James asked the NBA to retire Michael Jordan's number 23 forever and therefore prohibiting any future player from wearing the number. I think it was a wonderful gesture by a young man who was so positively impacted by MJ. I hardly know a human being alive who was not inspired by MJ's play.

But I would say in opposition that if you do it for MJ you must do it for Russell, Chamberlain, Erving, Magic and Bird. Those five guys established and/or revolutionized the NBA and without them, there may have never been a Michael Jordan or Lebron James.

Julius Erving and his massive mits present day.

The famous 1976 Innaugural NBA Slam Dunk Contest

NBA Video Tribute to Dr. J

For good measure, the Doctor does it again 10 years later...