Kris Broughton's Open Salon Blog

Mr. President, Send Scientists To Gulf Floor To Gather Facts

Wed, 19 May 2010 09:05:43 -0400

Mr. President, you are my man. As my mother used to say, you are my “Ace Boon Coon” among active politicians, a phrase it took me years to understand meant “number one negro”. Which means, if we are boys and all, at least metaphorically speaking, then I am obligated, under the rules of the “Ace Boon Coon Handbook”, to jump in your ass whenever you start fucking up.

Cause right now, brotherman, you are starting to fuck this whole British Petroleum Oil Spill thing up. I know, if you or one of your flacks, or one of the many millions of your fans happen upon this blog, the first thing you would do, naturally, is recoil at such a direct attack on your response to the most fucked up situation of the year, bar none, that you are going to have to deal with between now and Christmas.

I did that on purpose, Mr. President.

Because the one thing I’ve learned from living around too many lawyers is the way an attorney almost instinctually moves to downplay whatever the situation is, as if by diminishing a negative event’s stature said attorney gains a benefit from the perception that he or she is in control of the situation, or are equipped to minimize its effects. By holding the British Petroleum Oil Spill at arm’s length, it may give you a better view of the legal and political ramifications, Mr. President, but this abstract arm’s length business practically erases the stench of the whole mess, the foul stench and the fetid, oily water that this catastrophe is even as I write this leaving behind all along the Gulf coastline, soon to be joined by the Atlantic coastline.

Believe it or not, Counselor in Chief, there are facts in this case. Some are known, but most are unknown. But we aren’t playing semantic games here, the kind of gentlemanly combat that allows to legal adversaries to shake hands afterwards, or even get a beer together.

We are talking about a problem that could make Agent Orange look like a bad dream. We are talking about a disaster that could make you wish this was only as bad as the Katrina public relations hell George Bush went through.

Fuck British Petroluem. As a matter of fact, double fuck British Petroleum and the ships they rode in on.

It’s when I see stuff like this excerpt below, Mr. President, that I begin to get sick to my stomach – you know, the way your boys do when they find out that you don’t really have their back the way you said you did.

On Saturday, the New York Times brought the world’s attention to the discovery by a team of researchers on the the vessel Pelican that there are large underwater plumes of oil emanating from the Deepwater Horizon spill. Remarkably, the response of the government to the attention focused on this discovery has been to tell the researchers to stop granting interviews with the press. At the same time, the blog on which the researchers had been providing updates has also fallen silent since Saturday.

Pensacola television station WEAR filed a report (video at the link) on the oil plume and broke the news about the scientists being muzzled by the government:
Over the weekend, a research crew from the University of Southern Mississippi found evidence that there are 3 to 5 plumes… About 5 miles wide, 10 miles long and 3 hundred feet in depth.

But after giving that information to the press, the lead researcher now says he has been asked by the federal government… Which funds his research… To quit giving interviews until further testing is done.

WEAR-TV Pensacola

Is this true?

That was a rhetorical question, in case you didn’t notice the sarcasm. Given the first class handholding British Petroleum has gotten from your people, there is no other way I or anyone else could possibly interpret this. Has it come to this? Have petty political considerations for whorish congressman and senators who can barely stuff the campaign contributions into their pockets become so important that us Joe Blow citizens are nothing more than the muck that collects around deep sea drill bits?

I know, Mr. President, that you hate people who howl at you about your actions but neglect to proffer any alternative solutions. I didn't have time to whip up one of those voluminous research reports chock full of statistics and formulas, a report that references noted experts in the field, but today I am in luck - there is no way to get the kind of information Your Geekiness requires in order to change your game plan on this thing unless you send somebody or something down to the bottom of the Gulf to gather the facts.

So find the American version of Jacques Cousteau. It shouldn’t take more than three to five days to assemble a team, a deep sea submersible like the Alvin, and the equipment for him. Drop them all into the depths, with cameras, and lights, and measuring tools, and have at it. You need to "executive order" or "national security" this thing yesterday, Mr. President, and get us some fucking hard facts about this thing before it kills us.

Before it kills us and poisons your presidency.

Because when British Petroleum leaves the scene of the crime against humanity, its tail temporarily between its legs, leaving in its wake 50 or 60 law firms who will grow rich on their billings, a bankruptcy or two, and a convenient name change to something less conspicuous, less slimy, it will just be you and the American public, a public that will be waiting to lay the blame and their anxieties and their frustrations all on you…

…because you let British Petroleum waltz away with their corporate dignity intact.

Double fuck British Petroleum and the ships they sailed in on.

Despite the death threats, BP Chief Executive Tony Hayward says he's sleeping well these days. He looks it: fresh, almost relaxed in his makeshift corner office at BP's emergency response center in Houston. He insists the company has been "extraordinarily successful" in its response to the spill, which so far has dumped more than 100,000 barrels of oil into the Gulf of Mexico since Apr. 20, threatening tourism and fishing from Florida to Texas. By mid-May 13,000 workers and 500 vessels were trying to contain the giant leak. Leaning back in his chair, Hayward compares the operation to D-day. He quotes Winston Churchill: "When in hell, keep going."

Not that he has a choice. Before the first failed effort to cap the petro geyser BP ( BP - news - people ) faced an ocean of problems. A group of 200 plaintiffs' attorneys met in New Orleans on May 6 to join forces in suing the company. Senator Barbara Boxer (D--Calif.) called for a permanent drilling ban off the West Coast. BP's shares took a deep dive, dropping $25 billion, despite $6 billion in first-quarter earnings, double the results of a year ago.

Hayward gropes for an upside. "Deepwater drilling will be transformed by this event," he says. "If we can win the hearts and minds of the communities that are impacted, then we have the potential to enhance our reputation rather than have it damaged."

After The Spill: Big Oil Plots Its Comeback

Can you believe this guy Tony Hayward? "If we can win the hearts and minds of the communities that are impacted?" Although, to his credit, the public does have a short memory – as soon as the next allegation about Michael Jackson or Heath Ledger or Tiger Woods arises, that’s all she wrote for the oil spill, especially since its been hogging all the TV time for the last month.

What are you going to do, Mr. President? As an added bonus, get this - demonizing a foreign oil company right about now might be worth a 5 percentage point jump in your approval ratings, measurements that don't really mean diddly to anyone but a press corps too lazy to wander around the hinterlands to see what people are really thinking...

...and your Democratic allies in Congress and the Senate who are trying to get re-elected in the fall. Show British Petroleum who's the boss and man handle them into giving up the bulk of the high resolution videos they collect around the clock of the spill and your approval numbers are likely to top 60 percent.

And if you were to send an independent team with their own measuring devices down to the leak itself to see exactly what the rate of flow is at the leak and sample exactly what is coming out of the leak...

...I guarantee some of the more skeptical Americans across the country will finally begin to forget that you are black.

Surprise Visit To Afghanistan Increases Obama Momentum

Mon, 29 Mar 2010 13:03:54 -0400

Posted by Kris Broughton in The District at POLITIC 365

President Obama surprised the nation when he surfaced Sunday in Afghanistan after a whirlwind week in which he signed his health care reform initiative into law. While the Sunday morning political talk shows mostly played "Monday morning quarterback," dissecting and debating the Obama administration's strategy to get the historic health care legislation passed, President Obama was at Bagram Air Field in Afghanistan, getting ready to meet with President Hamid Karzai. The president, while wearing a brown bomber jacket over an open collared shirt, also spoke to the American troops stationed in the war zone.

In a brief speech that repeatedly praised the efforts of American troops, the president stuck to a few key themes - the nature of the military mission, his commitment to provide the necessary resources for victory, and a summary of the successes thus far against the Taliban.

"We have struck blows against al-Qaeda's leadership as well as the Taliban's."

"They are hunkered down. They are worried about their own safety. It's harder for them to move and to train and to plot and to attack."

"They offer fear and you offer hope."

"All of that makes America safer and we are going to keep them on the run."

"I'm confident all of you are going to get the job done right here in Afghanistan."

President Obama, excerpts from his remarks Sunday at Bagram Air Field in Afghanistan

According the Associated Press, Obama had gone Friday afternoon to the presidential retreat at Camp David, Md., from which unnoticed departures are easier because of its secluded mountain location.

Just a week after the House of Representatives passed the healthcare reform bill, President Obama seems to have come to life. After signing the bill into law last Tuesday, the president has been on a tear, reaching a deal on an arms reduction agreement with Russia, drawing a line in the sand after making little headway with Israel President Benjamin Netanyahu, and announcing 15 recess appointments on Saturday. The president appears to be eager to combat the growing questions about his leadership and capitalize on the momentum gained by rallying his party behind his healthcare initiative.

"They offer fear and you offer hope" could conceivably turn out to be a catchphrase Obama continues to use stateside as he barnstorms the country in the coming weeks to build support for both the new healthcare law and his fellow Democrats up for reelection in 2010.

Politic365 is more than an online magazine. It represents the cutting edge of new media interaction and the next level of digital engagement for America's burgeoning minority communities.

GOP Hires Blacksheep Political Consulting To Revamp Message

Thu, 25 Mar 2010 09:03:49 -0400

It looks like Blacksheep Political Consulting will have to quit living off the money it defrauded its last paying clients out of by guaranteeing to deliver the Vietnamese immigrant vote for Congressman Roscoe P. Coltrane (RR-GA) and come out of semi-retirement to give the beleaguered Republican Party a hand.

Because whoever they are paying to advise them now needs to be brought up on crimninal charges.

This latest shenanigan - the Senate work slowdown - at a time when what's left of their tattered image is tottering over the edge of a cliff is beyond frat boy stupid, beyond redneck rowdy. These are the kinds of actions that make me think of an old dog that starts walking around in circles just before it lays down to die.

But don't worry, John Boehner and friends - Blacksheep Political Consulting is coming to the rescue, just as soon as we can set up the off-shore account where you're going to wire our fees.

There are no guarantees though - we've learned our lesson from the Vietnamese unregistered voter fiasco.

But I know I can do better than Frank Luntz, your messaging guru. As a matter of fact, I can turn your whole year around with just one change.

"Quit contradicting yourselves."

Well, okay, two changes - "quit contradicting yourselves" and "find somebody other than old fish faced Mitch McConnell to stand in front of the cameras with nasty-assed frown - he is scaring away every voter under 35."

And before you start getting all defensive, Mr. Agent Orange Orange Red, I just want you to look at the research/stuff we are "borrowing" from Russell King's blog so you can see what the public sees when they see the GOP:

You can't flip out -- and threaten impeachment - when Dems use a parlimentary procedure (deem and pass) that you used repeatedly (more than 35 times in just one session and more than 100 times in all!), that is centuries old and which the courts have supported. Especially when your leaders admit it all.

You can't vote and scream against the stimulus package and then take credit for the good it's done in your own district (happily handing out enormous checks representing money that you voted against is especially ugly) -- 114 of your members (at last count) did just that -- and it's even worse when you secretly beg for more.

You can't fight against your own ideas just because the Dem president endorses your proposal.

You can't call for a pay-as-you-go policy, and then vote against your own ideas.

Are they "unlawful enemy combatants" or are they "prisoners of war" at Gitmo? You can't have it both ways.

You can't carry on about the evils of government spending when your family has accepted more than a quarter-million dollars in government handouts.

You can't refuse to go to a scheduled meeting, to which you were invited, and then blame the Dems because they didn't meet with you.

You can't rail against using teleprompters while using teleprompters. Repeatedly.

You can't rail against the bank bailouts when you supported them as they were happening. (It was Bush who came up with that one.)

You can't be for immigration reform, then against it.

You can't enjoy socialized medicine while condemning it.

You can't flip out when the black president puts his feet on the presidential desk when you were silent about white presidents doing the same. Bush. Ford.

You can't complain that the president hasn't closed Gitmo yet when you've campaigned to keep Gitmo open.

You can't flip out when the black president bows to foreign dignitaries, as appropriate for their culture, when you were silent when the white presidents did the same. Bush. Nixon. Ike. You didn't even make a peep when Bush held hands and kissed (on the mouth) leaders of countries that are not on "kissing terms" with the US.

You can't complain that the undies bomber was read his Miranda rights under Obama when the shoe bomber was read his Miranda rights under Bush and you remained silent. (And, no, Newt -- the shoe bomber was not a US citizen either, so there is no difference.)

You can't attack the Dem president for not personally* publicly condemning a terrorist event for 72 hours when you said nothing about the Rep president waiting 6 days in an eerily similar incident (and, even then, he didn't issue any condemnation). *Obama administration did the day of the event.

You can't throw a hissy fit, sound alarms and cry that Obama freed Gitmo prisoners who later helped plan the Christmas Day undie bombing, when -- in fact -- only one former Gitmo detainee, released by Dick Cheney and George W. Bush, helped to plan the failed attack.

You can't condemn blaming the Republican president for an attempted terror attack on his watch, then blame the Dem president for an attemted terror attack on his.

You can't mount a boycott against singers who say they're ashamed of the president for starting a war, but remain silent when another singer says he's ashamed of the president and falsely calls him a Moaist who makes him want to throw up and says he ought to be in jail.

You can't cry that the health care bill is too long, then cry that it's too short.

You can't support the individual mandate for health insurance, then call it unconstitutional when Dems propose it and campaign against your own ideas.

You can't demand television coverage, then whine about it when you get it. Repeatedly.

You can't praise criminal trials in US courts for terror suspects under a Rep president, then call it "treasonous" under a Dem president.

You can't propose ideas to create jobs, and then work against them when the Dems put your ideas in a bill.

You can't be both pro-choice and anti-choice.

You can't damn someone for failing to pay $900 in taxes when you've paid nearly $20,000 in IRS fines.

You can't condemn critizising the president when US troops are in harms way, then attack the president when US troops are in harms way, the only difference being the president's party affiliation (and, by the way, armed conflict does NOT remove our right and our duty as Americans to speak up).

You can't be both for cap-and-trade policy and against it.

You can't vote to block debate on a bill, then bemoan the lack of 'open debate'.

If you push anti-gay legislation and make anti-gay speeches, you should probably take a pass on having gay sex, regardless of whether it's 2004 or 2010. This is true, too, if you're taking GOP money and giving anti-gay rants on CNN. Taking right-wing money and GOP favors to write anti-gay stories for news sites while working as a gay prostitute, doubles down on both the hypocrisy and the prostitution. This is especially true if you claim your anti-gay stand is God's stand, too.

When you chair the House Caucus on Missing and Exploited Children, you can't send sexy emails to 16-year-old boys (illegal anyway, but you made it hypocritical as well).

You can't criticize Dems for not doing something you didn't do while you held power over the past 16 years, especially when the Dems have done more in one year than you did in 16.

You can't decry "name calling" when you've been the most consistent and outrageous at it. And the most vile.

You can't spend more than 40 years hating, cutting and trying to kill Medicare, and then pretend to be the defenders of Medicare.

You can't praise the Congressional Budget Office when it's analysis produces numbers that fit your political agenda, then claim it's unreliable when it comes up with numbers that don't.

You can't vote for X under a Republican president, then vote against X under a Democratic president. Either you support X or you don't. And it makes it worse when you change your position merely for the sake obstructionism.

You can't call a reconcilliation out of bounds when you used it repeatedly.

You can't spend tax-payer money on ads against spending tax-payer money.

You can't condemn individual health insurance mandates in a Dem bill, when the madates were your idea.

You can't demand everyone listen to the generals when they say what fits your agenda, and then ignore them when they don't.

You can't whine that it's unfair when people accuse you of exploiting racism for political gain, when your party's former leader admits you've been doing it for decades.

You can't portray yourself as fighting terrorists when you openly and passionately support terrorists.

You can't complain about a lack of bipartisanship when you've routinely obstructed for the sake of political gain -- threatening to filibuster at least 100 pieces of legislation in one session, far more than any other since the procedural tactic was invented -- and admitted it. Some admissions are unintentional, others are made proudly. This is especially true when the bill is the result of decades of compromise between the two parties and is filled with your own ideas.

You can't question the loyalty of Department of Justice lawyers when you didn't object when your own Republican president appointed them.

You can't preach and try to legislate "Family Values" when you: take nude hot tub dips with teenagers (and pay them hush money); cheat on your wife with a secret lover and lie about it to the world; cheat with a staffer's wife (and pay them off with a new job); pay hookers for sex while wearing a diaper and cheating on your wife; or just enjoying an old fashioned non-kinky cheating on your wife; try to have gay sex in a toilet; authorize the rape of children in Iraqi prisons to coherce their parents into providing information; seek, look at or have sex with children; replace a guy who cheats on his wife with a guy who cheats on his pregnant wife with his wife's mother. ***

You say you didn't catch how much Blacksheep's fee was, Agent Orange Orange Red? Well, since your RNC chairman Michael Steele insists that "a million dollars really isn't a lot of money" just add another zero to that bid we emailed to you.

You know how it is. Jet fuel is kinda high these days. And with Tiger screwing up the bimbo market, our "out of pocket" expenses could run to six or seven figures...

...easy.

***This list REALLY WAS compiled/created/crafted by Russell King of Street Prophets - if you go by his site to thank him, where he has a much, much longer list of GOP "can't do's", please let him know that his check from Blacksheep Political Consulting is "in the mail."

New Political Web Portal POLITIC 365 Goes Live Today

Fri, 12 Mar 2010 09:03:27 -0500

There is a brand new destination for political commentary on the intenet this morning called POLITIC 365...

...and Kris Broughton's story is on the cover today.

Black Web Media LLC has stepped up to the plate to put their money where their mouth is -- to defy the gravity that keeps so many of our dreams deferred and expand the political narrative...

...and Kris Broughton's story is on the cover today.

It has a full slate of writers to kick off what they call a "soft launch" in the business -- I'm beginning to sounding like a social media guru all of a sudden...

...and Kris Broughton's story is on the cover today.

I'd write a lot more about my new internet stomping grounds, but it has taken everything I had to keep quiet about it this long, cause I believe in promoting my work. I'll be back later, after me and my man Sean Yoes tape another segment for his AFRO/First Edition radio show on WEAA..

...and in case you forgot, KRIS BROUGHTON'S STORY IS ON THE COVER TODAY!!

Pockets Of Darkness, Pockets Of Light

Fri, 26 Feb 2010 08:02:24 -0500

Pockets Of Darkness, Pockets Of Light from Kris Broughton on Vimeo.

Black History Month is almost over.

I really haven't done anything special at my blog Brown Man Thinking Hard to commemorate it, probably because this blog is written from an African American perspective.

But my editors at Big Think liked my "Racial Discrimination: The Reality Show" video, so I took the opportunity to run a mini-series on a few topics this week as a way to wind up a month we usually spend watching documentaries and patting ourselves on the back. Pockets Of Darkness, Pockets Of Light: To Be Brown And Not Brown In The New Millennium contains provocative, challenging pieces that defy conventional wisdom.

I hope the writing lives up to the promise of this promo video.

The first post, "Racial Discrimination: The Reality Show" is already up. The video is the same but the commentary is new.

The other three will run between now and Sunday.

Enjoy.

Kris Broughton