KwameJones's Open Salon Blog

When rape is ok (and enjoyable)... or "This Week in Weeds!"

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 10:06:49 -0400

Ladies... is this man attractive enough to rape you?

So maybe I’m a little squeamish (I’ve never considered myself to be, but hey, you never know) or maybe I just don’t understand what an empowered woman is all about, but last night’s final scene of Weeds made me super-duper uncomfortable. For those of you who don’t follow what is still and always has been an amazing show, Nancy Botwin (Mary-Louise Parker) is a suburban mom who finds herself in the unlikely situation of selling pot to support her family. This leads her, season by season, deeper into the dangerous criminal underworld of drug dealers and organized crime. At one point, when questioned by her brother-in-law as to whether he should be worried, she famously answers, "Of course you should, it’s the drug business."

All of which somehow brings us around to last night, with Nancy coming to the realization that even the unborn son, of Esteban (the Mexican mafia boss (who also happens to be the mayor of Tijuana)) she is carrying will not be enough to keep her from ending up in a landfill with her lady parts cut out (presented as a fairly disturbing image in and of itself.) So after getting fairly plastered at a sushi bar she goes to confront aforementioned mayor and demands that if he is going to have her killed he should just do it now. And Mr. Mafia Boss’s reaction to that demand? He bends her over a table and rapes her, while angrily grunting at her that she does not dictate (I appreciated the word play) the terms of this relationship. So what could have and should have been an incredibly powerful moment for Nancy, one where she truly realizes the depth and danger of her situation, wasn’t. And why? Because the decision was made to portray her as enjoying it. Yup, while being thrown around and forcefully penetrated, she smirks and has moments of her eyes rolling back in her head, as if, with all of the stress in her life at the moment she just needed to be told what she was good for.

Granted, Nancy is a complex character, on a complex show, and one that has never shied away from the casual attitude toward sex that society seems to think only men should enjoy. She has had consensual sex with Esteban on numerous occasions and at times it has been portrayed as rough, and I myself have enjoyed some aggressive and almost violent sexual experiences (consensual, I PROMISE!)... but all of those were what this seemingly wasnt.. two people deciding to be rough and physical for their own enjoyment. To me, this offered the possibility that if the man is just dark and handsome and brooding enough then maybe no doesn’t really mean no...

I’m in no way writing this as a critique of Weeds. I love the show. I’m more interested in what was such a visceral reaction on my part. I mean, on such a well-crafted show I can only assume it was a reaction they were going for. Further, the show was created, and the episode was written by women. A woman thought this scene up and made it come to a very disturbing life. So.... Am I wrong? In this age of empowerment and feminism is it ok for a women to decide she wants to have a man forced upon her? It’s completely arguable that by getting drunk and going to see Esteban, demanding of him as she did, that she knew what would come of it... Is that ok? Is that train of thought ever going to leave the station in a woman’s mind?

I’ll end this with the qualifier that I am a 28 year old male. I understand that I have less than no idea how or what women think (or why they think it)... but I am willing to learn. So women (and more worldly men) of OS, please, educate me.

iPhone to get iTunes TV and Movies!

Fri, 22 May 2009 13:05:50 -0400

In a long awaited move (at least by me), it appears that Apple will begin to allow downloads of movies and tv shows through the iPhone. This revelation, (again at least to me) comes by way of an advertisement in the new ad supported version of the app Twitterfon released on 5/15/09. Three ads, stumbled upon by a geeky friend of mine who wishes to remain anonymous for fear of the powerful arms of the Apple legal department, scrolling across the top of the app were for ‘iTunes Movies’, ‘iTunes TV’ and ‘iTunes Movie Rentals’.

While the titles of soon to be available movies and TV shows were listed and directories broken down by genre are active...

the links to the actual movies turned up a message of "The item you’ve requested is not available." YET!

Upon even closer examination, if we look at the time line of the pictures from this morning it appears the pages in question are under construction as we speak. Notice, the navigation bar at the top of the page at 12:28 PM ET.

This navigation bar wasn’t there at 10:55 AM ET and 12:07 PM ET. (The Apple guys are out in Cupertino, CA. No worries, they aren’t working through lunch.)

GO APPLE GO!

I say long awaited because you have been able to download video podcasts via your iPhone from the iTunes store for as long as I’ve had my iPhone. These include the hour long video ‘podcasts’ of television shows such as Keith Olbermann, Rachel Maddow and the like. I was never sure where the distinction was drawn between an hour long video podcast and an hour long TV show, and apparently at this point neither does Apple. Thanks guys!

A Thursday Haiku In Which I Believe I Go Too Far...

Thu, 26 Mar 2009 10:03:31 -0400

We thought it ok
To do it without delay
Need a coathanger?

I'm not sure it says anything positive about you if you find this funny... ;)

In Support of Dirty Haiku Thursday 3.26.09

Thu, 26 Mar 2009 09:03:59 -0400

Wasn't planning a Thursday post but Jodi was inspirational...

Whisper in my ear
All your dirty fantasies
I crave your warmth

or....

Soft skin of breasts
Surrounds my rigid manhood
Sorry for your eye

Tips For Improving Your Resume

Wed, 25 Mar 2009 16:03:02 -0400

It seems that these days everyone is either worried about their job or actively searching for a new one. Many people are digging out there old resumes only to find that they haven’t really been updated in years. Your resume is the first (and sometimes only) impression an employer will have of you and in that sense a typo is the equivalent of spinach in your teeth on a first date... if it’s the first thing I see I probably don’t have to go much further, and if I notice it after I’ve developed a level of interest I can only wonder how a person who otherwise seemingly has it together can be ignorant of the hunk of green leaf taking up residence next to their gums.

I spend a majority of my day, on a majority of days reviewing resumes in the human resources department of a large law firm down here in Miami. The following are real issues I encounter, not random accidents or omissions, but the day to day things that make me question how such a person can function in society...

EMAIL ADDRESSES - SexyChica69@yahoo.com, RedNeckBaby@aol.com, and GunLoverinFla@gmail.com are not appropriate email addresses to put on a resume. In a world of free email accounts it should not be that hard to come up with some variation of your.name@freeemailprovider.com. Note: Pay special attention to this advice if your name is at all similar to Frank Uckoff or Samantha Hitty... Note 2: If you are not an attorney or a judge, then the words law, esquire, or JD, should not appear in your email address... unfortunately this applies to you even if your initials are J and D.

OBJECTIVES - There is some writing teacher out there taking peoples hard-earned money instructing them to include an ‘Objective’ section on their resume. Am I crazy or isn’t your objective to get the job? When submitting a resume to a company your objective is pretty clear: to gain employment. Everyone’s objective is simply some oddly arranged version of that sentiment, and no matter creatively you can word it, ‘finding a position which will allow me to use my skills to the fullest’ just sounds like a lot of crap.

PICTURES - No matter how good looking you are there is absolutely no need to send a picture of yourself along with your resume. Unless I will be picking you up from the airport for your interview there is no need for me to know what you look like. Furthermore, ladies, it says something none to flattering about you if you think that being attractive is going to score you any kind of points. It doesn’t matter how ugly or beautiful you are, if you show up on the day of your interview on time and dressed professionally you are starting from the same place as everyone else.

LETTERS OF RECOMMENDATION - These are tricky. A well worded letter of recommendation from a previous employer can be a valuable window to who you will be as an employee. Letters that are more than 15 years old, or were obviously written under duress or pestering really don’t do that. Letters of recommendation are also best saved for the interview. Submitting your resume via fax, along with 10 pages of recommendation letters can be slightly annoying. The same goes for high school/technical school transcripts or diplomas. Slightly annoying.

PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR FINAL PRODUCT - Once you are ready to start sending your resume out to prospective employers, take a moment and email it to yourself. What do you see? Does your attachment have a funny name? Did your email provider append an advertisement to your email? Inevitably those ads are either for dating services or penis enlargement and not the type of thing you want to be the first thing an employer associates with you. Taking a minute and looking at your submission from the view of the employer can be invaluable.

Ok, next time: Tips for Interviewing...