Lissa Stewart's Open Salon Blog

A Bizarre Day in the Neighborhood

Wed, 8 Apr 2009 14:04:09 -0400

It's a beautiful day today.

I woke up this morning, looked out my window, and saw sunshine, blue skies, and big puffy clouds floating over the city. Spring, in general, makes me really happy. Escaping the grays of winter to find flowers is a great moment for me- beautiful white and yellow daffodils all over campus, pink blossoms on the cherry trees, and, my favorite, little pink bleeding hearts all over my campus.

I walk outside, wearing nothing but a light sweater, preparing for the warmth of the sun, and what do I find?

It's snowing. SNOWING. In April. With the sun shining and the flowers in bloom. Snowing.

Screw you, Global Warming.

A Brush With Death on Vacation

Sat, 7 Mar 2009 18:03:11 -0500

My friend Ivy's mom has a tee shirt with this image on it. It's the only brush with death I have, and I'm okay with that.

LiveBlogging the Super Bowl!

Sun, 1 Feb 2009 18:02:37 -0500

So after my election LiveBlog (which I had a lot of fun doing! I never knew this "LiveBlog" stuff could be so awesome), I have decided that I will LiveBlog more. And what is a better time for a LiveBlog than the Super Bowl! No matter that I know very little about football (except that it's a touchdown, not a home run, and there are four downs). ANYWAYS, I think the commercials are the best part of the Super Bowl anyways. So without further ado::

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6:39 PM EST - So I'm a little late to beginning, but I was on a train to New York from Baltimore. Bleah. The common room of my lounge is filled with Superbowl partygoers, and I did not manage to grab a seat on the comfy couch, so I've been relegated to the funny black decidedly UNcomfy chair in the back. Oh well, better to hear everyone else with =P

"Ohhhh this is for Angels & Demons- that book is even worse than the Da Vinci code!" (Quote courtesy of Also).

6:41 PM - Apparently the runner was short of the goal line, which made everyone in the room clap. I don't even know who I'm supposed to be rooting for. I wish it was baseball season.

6:43 PM - The "Forever Young" commercial. We're guessing who's ad it is. It hasn't said yet. Ooooh it's for Pepsi! That was actually a pretty cool commercial, although someone in the room pointed out that it's "A rip off of the Obama hope/change/thing song.

OH MAN the Doritos chips commercial are HYSTERICAL. Wow... "Free doritos in the office today? *CRASH*" Heeheeheeee....

6:45 PM - Meh, more football. I will take this time to get some more work done!

6:47 - That slow-mo just showed some guy slamming his head into another guys crotch. Ow?

6:48 - Someone on the Cardinals (I think... Troy something?) Lost his contact! That's pretty funny, if you ask me. Also, why do they keep showing faces at the bottom of the screen saying names of universities? How many people are there on a football team? Maybe I should look these things up rather than just posting them into the blagosphere...

6:51 - Yay, more commercials! Okay, I like the Bud Light commercials. Also, Year One looks kinda funny. Ooh, and it has Michael Cera AND Jack Black. Should be good.

Also, a big MEH on the Toyota commercials. They're not even funny!

6:54 - Another great quote: "You know, advertising a drink as DRINKABLE miiiiiiiight not be the best advertising strategy ever." I concur. Their commercials are funny, but saying that Bud Light has "drinkability" is like saying, "We know it's piss water, but at least it's not as bad as the other piss-waters out there!" Yeesh.

6:57 - Lots of cheering, not sure why. "Wait, why am I cheering? I'm rooting for the team on offense. I want to see an offensive game." "I'd rather see offensive commercials!" I love my friends.

7:01 - Mr. Potato Head? Hahahahaaaa I like the angry eyes. Yay for joint commercials.

"Fast and the Furious... which one? How many are they up to? Eesh."

Four, four is the answer.

And, by the way, the "Grease Monkeys" look like they are wearing Columbia University Marching Band uniforms.

7:07 - The GoDaddy commercial with Danica Patrick. Nice! I like that they have to say "Web content UNRATED". Or rather, that's a good way to drive people to one's website.

7:09 - "Men can take anything"? Bah, that's a stupid commercial. Although watching people hurt themselves in stupid ways is pretty funny.

Pedigree Adoption Drive ad: "OHMIGOD that's a really cute ad!" - Nancy
"FUCK YOU PETA, THAT'S HOW YOU DO A GOOD COMMERCIAL!" -Also, in response to Peta's reallyreally depressing sick puppy and kitties.

7:12 - The Budweiser commercials with the horses are cute. It's better for them when they stick to cute animals (like the frogs, remember them? Bud- weis- errrrrrrr).

WOAH NEW STAR TREK! Again from Also (who is a person if you haven't gotten that): "Cannot wait! Giant nerd, cannot wait."

7:20 - At the 2 yard line, the guy was tackled so hard he flipped over. Not only does that suck, it looks like it hurt, too...

I just looked at this post, it's getting really long. That's not a bad thing, in my opinion, but if it gets much longer I might just move to the comments and start adding there.

Ooh more commercials!

Black and white commercial for... gatorade. Blah.

7:23 - Cars.com commercial == =cute at the beginning, stupid after that.

7:32 - The game has been going for a little while now without commercials. I don't have much to say about the actual football O.O...

7:34 - AHHHHH THERE ARE NOW TWO CREEEEEEPY BABIES. NOOOOOOOOOOOO! (courtesy of E-Trade).

Annnnd more football. Blah.

7:37 - Yep, I'm moving to the comments. I say this because four times in the past three or four minutes I have lost what I typed because sometimes "backspace" goes back one letter, and sometimes it goes back one PAGE. Darn computer.

For Hyblaean!

Wed, 28 Jan 2009 01:01:18 -0500

A while back Hyblaean asked me if I would be willing to make her a fimo clay necklace of my avatar, the Rainbow Lady. I responded I would love to, so without further ado:

The final product. Sorry the picture isn't great, but it's the best my camera would do. Ms. Rainbow Lady is currently on her way to Hyblaean, and I hope that she will love her!

Liveblogging the Election from Columbia

Tue, 20 Jan 2009 11:01:29 -0500

So I am watching the inauguration from the safety of Sam's common room on the campus of Columbia University in New York City. In case you didn't know (which you probably didn't, because he refuses to talk about it, much to our dismay), Obama is a Columbia graduate, Class of '83. This is something the Columbia community is INTENSELY proud of, and as a celebration of this event, there is a jumbotron out on the steps of Low. I was out there to begin with, but the combined facts that (1) I am short, (2) The people out there are tall, and (3) The jumbotron made all the people look as purple as Barney the Dinosaur, I came inside. That, and it's damn cold in New York right now.

Because of all that, I have decided to liveblog the event!

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Things that happened earlier:

Sam: "Hey look, George HW Bush is as red as a beet [on the big screen]!"
Mike: "Maybe he's just ashamed of his son?"

Mike: "WOAH now they're purple."
Sam: "I can't see... like Barney purple?"
Mike: "Yeah..."

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11:41 EST So I'm starting late, but that's okay.

11:44 EST They just introduced Obama, and I can hear the screaming of the students from where I'm sitting, inside. I particularly like the chants of "O-BA-MA, O-BA-MA".

11:45 EST Diane Feinstein, coordinater or chairman of somesuch. Not as many cheers from outside as for Obama, but that's to be expected I guess. I love the odd smirk that the current President Bush has on his face. I can't decide if he's cold or just pissed.

11:48 EST (Okay, I'm going to stop putting EST, ya'll get the point) The invocation. From a suitemate- "Let us pray? Are you serious?" Me- "... That's what an invocation IS." On a campus that's very very very liberal (not something I complain about, personally), the prayer part of this is frowned upon. And I have to say, it seems that the Obama daughters are a little fidgety too- every time CNN focuses on them, the little one is squirming in her seat.

11:52 The man leading the invocation sounded a little... *odd* as he talked about Obama's daughters. "Malia, and SASHA" That actually made people on the steps laugh. Like, laugh loud enough that I could hear them from here. (Here is the fourth floor of a building off of the quad).

11:54 Woo! Aretha Franklin! Lady looks good in a fancy hat.

11:57 Administration of the oath of office to Biden. Another suitemate quote- "About time! Damn." It must be bright in DC, because Biden is squinting his eyes shut like this: >< It's funny, you wouldn't think that an emoticon could only represent so much, but I swear that's exactly what his face looks like!

11:58 OOH Awkward pause. Always fun. Apparenty Biden thought there was going to be more to repeat and there wasn't. Whoops.

11:59 Wow, that's an impressive lineup of musicians. But why did Yoyo Ma get more cheers than Itzhak Perlman? You would think that they, as comparable musicians in quality, would get the same amount of enthusiasm from the audience. Eh. Sam says that he thinks Yoyo Ma is more famous.

12:00 Huh, apparently Obama just became President, even though he hasn't taken the Oath of Office. The constitution is funny like that.

12:02 Sasha and Malia are fidgeting again. I'm sure they're a little bored, even though it's a big event.

12:04 "It is my honor to introduce to you..." Suitemate interjection: "Who will introduce someone else, who will introduce someone else..."

12:05 Haha, Obama jumped the gun a little. A smattering of laughter from the crowd outside. Apparently they didn't practice this!

12:07 My suitemate: "Well, he's under oath, but he didn't say the whole thing. He's missing a couple of articles, it was a little like nonsense. Does it still count?"

AND Wild cheering from the steps! Someone just pointed out that there are more people in DC watching the inauguration than there were in Times Square watching the ball drop on New Year's Eve. That's impressive, because that's a HUGE crowd. Unimaginably huge. I'm actually a little glad I'm not there, as interesting as it would have been.

12:09 "Fourty-four Americans have now taken the Oath of Office..." Ummm actually, fourty-three. Cleveland is counted twice. (Woo, nonconsecutive terms in office!)

12:10 "We gather because we have chosen hope over fear..." That is a fabulous line, I think. Beautiful.

12:12 Does he have this whole speech memorized? That's impressive. I can't even imagine how nervous he must be. He's keeping a really cool head, though.

12:14 "We must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin the work of remaking America". Another great line!

12:15 "We will restore science to it's rightful place"- Obama, if you keep just one promise, let it be this one. Restore education, restore the renown for science and technology in this country. Please, please, please.

12:17 Another shot of Dubya looking bored. Too many big words? (That was mean, I know, but I couldn't help taking the shot.)

12:19 Obama's discussion of responsibility in terms of warfare is heartening. (More cheering from outside...) I also like the shots of random people in the audience smiling and nodding.

12:20 "Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus. And nonbelievers." That last addition just didn't quite fit...

12:23 I'm honestly a little surprised they haven't shown anyone in the audience crying yet.. I'm sure someone is so moved that they are (some people are... more emotional than others.) I think their tears might freeze, though. It's so cold...

12:25 His words can paint a beautiful picture. That sounds silly and cliched, but it's true. I just love the description of the Revolutionary War. "Carried forth that great gift of freedom [for future generations]" (I can't type as fast as he talks). THUNDEROUS cheering from outside AND on the TV.

12:27 Awwwww hugs and kisses for the kids! Mike just pointed out that there are labels on the carpet. "Oh hey- Sasha, Malia, Mrs. Obama... Mr. Obama. Hah!" Apparently they all need to know EXACTLY WHERE TO STAND.

12:28 "Praise Song for the Day". Pretty poem, but the reading is really... interesting. Mike: "You... don't... have... to.... read.... like.... that..."

12:32 Oh my lord, people are leaving in droves. Poor lady reading her poem, people aren't listening...

12:33 Benediction. Charline: "What is this? Is he speaking English? Oh... he is... huh." This guy is better than the invocation, though. Sam: "This guy could definitely be a wizard or something." Charline: "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"

12:35 The camera is focusing on a slightly bored-looking lady who hasn't moved in a little bit... Sonal: "His rhymes more than the other lady's poem!" Maria: "Is he doing a poem too?" No, no he's not.

12:37 The Obama girls are being very still now. WOAH, did he just say "When brown can stick around"? I'm impressed.

12:38 The resounding AMEN was FABULOUS.

12:39 THE NAVY SEA CHANTERS CHORUS. That's awesome. AWESOME. I'm also glad that Obama and Mrs. Obama are singing along.

12:40 So I think I'm done. Any more updates will come in the comments!