Melissa Maroff's Open Salon Blog

For All You ‘Haters’

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 10:04:37 -0400

Yes, what an amazing thing, the Internet; it exposes us to things we otherwise would never have been exposed to.

And of course, the flipside:

The dumbing down of society and the end of journalism, as we knew it.

The glorification of those who haven’t even earned it: someone who had sex on camera, a celebrity’s 2-year-old kid … or even worse: a baby bump.

The bitter trolls that hide behind usernames, who would even find fault with Mother Teresa … or Brad Pitt.

The risk of being termed a “hater” for your negativity – often by a Kardashian or some other such pillar of modern culture/mental magnitude. (If the Boston Bombers’ Mom were more up on English slang, she would undoubtedly call us that too.)

Hmm ... Hater ... a label we should perhaps embrace.

Thank you, Republicans – for the learning experience

Fri, 2 Nov 2012 06:11:21 -0400

We've come to the end – and now we Democrats must finally let go of our grasp; the straws are a-slippin’. Republicans have laid out a most convincing argument that we run away from facts and vote with our emotions. Now it appears we are only running on desperation.

We were convinced Obama was a Christian born in Hawaii – that is, until he produced his birth certificate, which Donald Trump said was fake (in spite of what the Hawaii Attorney General’s Office said). And then in a move that sealed his coffin (and his allegiance to Allah), "Nobama" defiantly refused to fork over his college transcript and passport by The Donald’s Oct. 31 deadline.

We refused to believe that all Muslims hate us and want us dead, but then we learned that isn't the case either – most Muslims, if not all (including the 2.6 million Muslim Americans of which our president is one), really do hate us and want us dead. As Republicans point out, it says it right in the Quran.

We also thought Obama was a friend to Israel based on his words and actions, but then came a sad awakening; "Oblunder" hopes to eventually cause the destruction of the Jewish state (aided and abetted, of course, by his Muslim extremist cohorts David Axelrod and Rahm Emanuel).

We naively assumed that if we had to choose which party was the “Party of Racism,” it would be Republicans and the Tea Party, until our bubble was burst yet again; Planned Parenthood was founded by a racist whose sole mission was to orchestrate the murder of 17 million black babies, and the KKK was founded by the Democratic Party. This leads to only one logical conclusion: in 2012, the Democratic Party, helmed by none other than the "most liberal president in U.S. history," Barack Hussein Obama – is indeed the party of racism.

We were under the misguided impression that the Democratic Party had women's best interests more in mind. Wrong again; it is in fact the Republican Party that will create jobs and raise the pay rate for underpaid women (although Romney and Ryan don't support the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act). And the Republican obsession with all things vagina, womb, fetus, contraception, abortion and forced sex – and the redefining of rape – is only because they care.

Then we always took for granted that the federal government would step in and assist after natural disasters, but Mitt Romney hipped us to the fact that FEMA is an "Oblunder" socialist kind of thing. The ravaged states themselves should foot most of the bill – and if they don’t have enough, they should save up – so they’ll at least be more prepared for the next disaster. Or better yet, allow the altruistic private sector the honors. You know, Blue Cross, Chevron and Walmart are all waiting in the wings, clambering to rebuild the East Coast – but as always – the federal government wants to hog all the glory.

We reactionary libs have always been hell-bent on accepting the notion of climate change, whereas conservatives realize cooler heads prevail and refuse to let a mountain of scientific evidence stand in the way of forging a better future and earth for our children and grandchildren. We now realize we are way worse off than we were four years ago, and will continue to deteriorate if we keep buying into the global warming hype.

Dems have proven time and time again to be nothing more than a bunch of narrow-minded, anti-intellectuals that continue to drink the Kool aid and are just stuck on stupid. We must now hang it up (not our guns, of course) and join the party of reason.

I pray for my fellow Democrats and for our country. As always, God Bless America (and screw the rest of the world).

LA’s victory for the voiceless

Wed, 31 Oct 2012 10:10:36 -0400

Well, us “crazies” in La-La Land came through for the animals once again. Our city council just voted 13 to 2 to ban the retail sale of dogs, cats and rabbits in pet stores. Now stores in Los Angeles will only be permitted to have pets from animal shelters and rescue groups for adoption.

With pet store protesting around the city for the past five years, documented proof from animal welfare organizations that these stores obtain their dogs from inhumane commercial breeders or "puppy mills" (largely in the Midwest) and city shelters filled to the brim – one wise Councilmember, Paul Koretz, decided to make a move.

At the risk of “Why don’t you care about people?” and “Our city is broke; aren’t there more important things to worry about?” – the animal-friendly and brave Koretz introduced an ordinance that logic tells us will save tax dollars, put a dent in the cruel pet trade – and even more importantly, send a message to a severely undereducated public about that cute puppy in the glass cage.

That puppy you feel sorry for who came from a way worse place than the pet shop – where its parents are bred over and over and confined 24/7 to wire-floor cages or cramped kennels in bitter cold and unbearable heat – or perhaps even worse, inside a dark building – never feeling sunshine, grass or the touch of a human. And when they’re done being useful … sayonara, since profit is the bottom line.

With LA on board, the word will soon spread like wildfire that when you buy a puppy from a pet store, papers don’t mean squat; kennel clubs (including AKC) make their money from registering puppy mill dogs that are inbred, over bred and often sickly – then crammed into trucks and delivered to pet stores halfway across the country. Soon, the deep, dark secret will finally be out: when you buy a pet store puppy, you’re only making room for another puppy mill dog.

Of course, even without pet stores, there will still be those that insist on going to a breeder, but now maybe, the majority will realize how imperative it is to visit the breeder in person and not order a puppy mill dog online.

It will be more ingrained in the collective consciousness that buying an animal isn’t status – rescuing an animal, any kind of animal when there are so many in need of homes, is sensible and compassionate – and compassion will be the new chic.

And there are still those that think people should be able to purchase puppy mill dogs, kittens or rabbits in a pet store if they so choose, but thankfully, the LA City Council and most of us citizens think otherwise; animal abuse shouldn’t be a choice, nor should compounding pet overpopulation be a right.

Then there’s always the “slippery slope set” that’s against bans in general; they’re afraid a pet store ban might lead to something even more “dreadful” and “freedom constricting” – that will make us slaves in wire cages, if you will.

Or those that think, “How dare the city council interfere with someone’s business?” After all, these poor pet store owners have to make a living (perpetuating animal abuse and deceiving the public about where their puppies come from, then charging a lot for the deception).

PIJAC (Pet Industry Joint Advisory Council), a group that lobbies on behalf of puppy mill brokers and pet stores is looking out for these "poor souls" and will say, do and spend anything to protect their cash cow: puppy mills. According to their website, this organization claims to “foster environmental stewardship,” “promote responsible pet ownership,” and the most telling: “ensure the availability of pets” (which somehow overlooks the 4 million cats and dogs that are destroyed each year in shelters).

Again, thank heaven for the LA City Council, which wasn’t even first, mind you; other California cities have already passed similar bans, including right in our backyard in West Hollywood and Burbank – in addition to forward-thinking cities elsewhere like Toronto and Austin.

But this is LA, America's second largest city. This is huge.

Chicago already said that if LA passes a ban, they would be next.

So goes LA – so goes the nation. We the people, and the animals have our paws crossed.

Katie Holmes' next 15 minutes? We can't wait!

Fri, 6 Jul 2012 15:07:34 -0400

In what culture would Katie Holmes be considered a headline grabber?

Ours apparently.

Why? Still trying to figure it out.

Yes, she’s divorcing A-List Tom Cruise, who most will agree is a self-absorbed, pompous cad that jumped on Oprah’s couch and criticized psychiatry – while he belongs to a controlling, pseudo-religious cult that suckers money out of not-so-bright celebrities.

Point taken.

But is Katie THAT dynamic with such great acting chops, accomplishments and personality that we need to be consumed with Tom wanting her to go by “Kate” instead of “Katie,” her throwing out a cryptic clue there was trouble in the marriage as much as 6 MONTHS AGO and that she’s getting her life in order (as do millions of others) after divorce?

My answer is a big N-O.

She’s not even Brad and Angelina, academy award winners/nominees that are considered exceptionally good looking and help a lot of impoverished children around the globe, including adopting many of them.

She’s Katie Holmes from “Dawson’s Creek” that married Tom Cruise because as a young girl she told her sisters she was going to marry Tom Cruise.

(When I was a young girl I told my sisters I would marry John Travolta – but hey, that’s another story.)

At the risk of an unoriginal, overused expression that is often reserved for animal activists and Trekkies: “America, get a f***in life!”

Overturned cattle truck inspires Facebook 'hilarity'

Thu, 21 Jun 2012 14:06:32 -0400

A Facebook friend recently posted as her status update: "I feel sorry for the little cows trapped on the highway, one cow keeps running away from the TV camera, I think he has warrants."

Rather than "thumb up" her joke as did 22 others, I searched online to see if a cattle truck overturned in the Dallas area, where she lives.

Sure enough, an interstate was shut down after a truck carrying 89 head of cattle flipped over, sending several of the dazed animals onto the highway. About half had to be euthanized due to severe injuries.

The article's headline read simply: "Cattle truck stalls Dallas traffic," with a closing quote from an inconvenienced motorist: "My gas hand is almost on 'E' and I'm late for work. I saw three cars back there on the side of the freeway with no gas, and I don't want to be the next one."

Please tell me I'm not the only "weirdo" that thought about the cattle and how frightened they must have been. Granted, they were crammed into a truck, ultimately bound for slaughter – but this made it even sadder.

Yes, my FB friend was only trying to make a joke, and I'm sure wasn't happy to find out half of the cows were severely injured and had to be destroyed, as I'm sure neither was her friend who joked that it was a "cowtastrophe."

Call me oversensitive; I'll concede – but the thought of injured animals stumbling around a highway – doesn't exactly summon my inner "Bazooka Joe."

And I don't think I'm alone. Just as I'm not alone in being disturbed by the Chik-fil-A ads with the cow telling us to "eat more chicken." I don't find humor in the millions of cows AND billions of chickens that are cruelly raised and slaughtered, and neither does my husband (a meat eater). Although there are obviously plenty of people out there who don't give it a second thought, or the ads wouldn't keep running.

This detached attitude toward animals used for food continues to surprise me, especially given all the news that's come to light about factory farming – including the undercover videos, the ballot measures to ban cruel confinement of cows, pigs and chickens and "Fast Food Nation."

Guess I just need to stop overestimating my fellow humans.

And brace myself for Dallas' next greased pig chase. Should be good for some more Facebook "hilarity" – and maybe even 23 thumbs up.