micalpeace's Open Salon Blog

The continuing adventures of Aardvark Diggs

A break in the logic

Did you see the size of that man's feet!?A flirtatious dance while looking for a book

Road to nowhere

The dance of the losers

Who can be?

The truth can never be

The story continues

Karma

Bad timing

The story falls apart

Gunnar finally gets it

Oh Annie...

and there it is...

Idiots

Memorial Day Weekend

Mon, 28 May 2012 13:05:53 -0400

Have you ever had one of those -end of the months- where you just didn’t have a dime to your name? You have overdrawn your account to pay for gas in your brother’s creeper van to drive to Columbus which will end up costing eighty bucks for the round trip. You know you have another ten days to go and a weekend at the flea market to try and make some money but you don’t regret your decision to use the old overdraft protection and pay the fees to see your grandson and daughter and her partner.

The whole thing was a wonderful time and well worth the misery that it will cost me.

You know that the weekend at the market is going to suck and probably suck really bad because it’s Memorial Day Weekend, there are garage sales going on everywhere and the Allen County Fairgrounds doesn’t have anything going on this weekend, but, you still find yourself on Friday thinking, “maybe this will be the weekend where things change.”

The Mad German loves to say, “Oh the fairgrounds doesn’t affect our business” which of course is complete bullshit. What goes on at that fairground directly affects our business.

Friday doesn’t disappoint. No customers and absolutely no sales until five minutes till closing when a man decides he wants to purchase all my books on the Masons.

I go to those in charge, since the Mad German is in Georgia and make it clear that we will stay open till that man gets back from the ATM because he is my one and only sale for the day. No one argues.

The only saving grace of the day is that my brother Nathan loans me forty bucks to put gas in the creeper van and get some groceries.

I hate living the way I do sometimes, but, it’s better than it used to be.

Saturday comes in with a blazing fierceness. It’s going to be a scorcher today.

Apparently after I left Friday night one of the vendors, we’ll call him Mario because he looks like Super Mario, had some knives stolen and he was livid and convinced that it was Henry that stole the knives.

As soon as I got there Saturday Liz and Henry were at my heels letting me know that there was going to be trouble today because Mario said he was going to confront Henry about the knives.

Liz and Henry have the booth next to me and they sell toys, angels and other objects of joy and fun and it’s ironic that for the most part the last thing these two are, is happy.

I’ve known Liz for a while now. I met her with her recently deceased husband Jack when I first got into Prospectors Flea Market. Man what a pair they were.

It’s amazing the complexity of simple people. We are down to earth, well salt of the earth human creatures and yet our lives, our pasts and our consciousness create a web of dysfunction and chaos that is absolutely amazing. Liz was a case study in the complexities of the simple creature gone askew.

Many believed that after Jack died, Henry was ready and waiting to jump right in and take over the reins and gather up all of Liz’s riches, which seems odd since Liz doesn’t really have many riches to speak of. Just the normal things we accumulate, house, cars, things and pets. I never made a judgment call on the situation. I had already had my share of aggravation with Liz and Jack so I was protecting my little circle of safety right from the start.

I was bombarded by vendors ranting about how Henry was being accused of theft, how Henry had been accused of taking things at the other market and of how he was always getting with women and taking advantage of them.

Henry is a strange man, goofy is a better word. He’s overweight, had two heart attacks and a couple bi-passes and not what I would call a real looker but everyone seems to think he’s a shim sham womanizing bastard. Who knows? He makes women laugh. Maybe that’s the charm.

I walked over to Liz and Henry’s booth and Henry was sitting there. I laughed and said, “What did you do to piss off Mario?” Henry looked disgusted and said, “Don’t you come over here and start this morning.”

I went back to my booth and a few minutes passed and I watched Liz and Henry heading down the aisle and I knew without a shadow of a doubt that Henry was going to go and cold-cock Mario. That was just the way Henry dealt with things.

I was standing by Bev’s booth with Babs when we heard screaming and yelling. We all headed for the other side of the market.

Once I got there Henry was panting and looking around for his glasses. Mario was outside sitting on a bench and for some unknown reason Lake Rat Jack was yelling at Henry, “You sucker punched him. Come on outside now and fight!”

I walked back to my booth.

Of course the police got called, an Allen County Sheriff showed up and I just stayed in my booth while the rest gawked and gandered including the customers that had been in there during the fight.

I figured they would take Henry to jail because he threw the first punch but after about an hour he came strolling back to my booth. I said, “So, they didn’t haul your dumb ass to jail I see.”

When Liz got back and we were all standing around talking because there weren’t any more customers in the building Henry said the Sheriff was kind of a dick and this just seemed to push a button on me somewhere. I started in, “Well no wonder. He got called to a fucking flea market to break up a fight between two geriatric hillbillies! I’d be pissed. You bunch of hoomhairs! What the hell is wrong with you? This kind of thing does not go on in a public place where there are other vendors and customers.

As the story unfolded apparently Mario came up behind Henry and screamed that he was a thief and Henry swung around and hit him. Margaret was trying to get in-between them and Mario got tangled up in her oxygen tank and took a hard fall to the ground. Once he got back to his feet he slapped Henry and ran out to the bench.

I continued my rant, “I understand you had help with the fight from an oxygen tank! Man if I had a brain in my head I would have filmed the whole thing and put it on YouTube. We would be fucking busy then.”

As the day continued Mario called his brother’s that came in and Henry had to call his brother at the end of the day. Yes, yes it was like the Hatfield’s and the McCoy’s had moved to Lima and the dumb-assed hillbillies were going to have it out at the flea market. I was appalled, amazed and unbelievably amused. The whole event took a terribly slow Saturday and turned it into a wonderful freak show.

I was still broke but I was feeling better. Ah yes the misfortunes and inane goings on of the simple complex creatures of Prospector’s Flea Market.

Sundays at the flea market can be either unbelievably busy with people who are just desperate to find a little trinket or collectible to satisfy their need for stuff before going back to work on Monday or these days are just like the way a carnie feels when he or she wakes up Sunday morning and looks out his French fry wagon and sees the destitution of his or her life. I’ve experienced both.

Today was going to be another slow Sunday. To many yard sales, holidays, end of the month and horrible heat, oh and nothing going on at the fairgrounds except vehicle inspection and no one comes running to that event.

I have found myself another vampire blood and gore book to read and was comfortably lost in all the sex and gore of the book when I picked up on the conversation that Bev was having with another vendor, Lucy.

“My vet says that cat shit is a delicacy to dogs.”

“Oh yea my one German Sheppard follows the cat around waiting for him to go so he can eat it while it’s still hot and moist.”

I listened to these two woman talk about the aspects of just how gross their pets were for about a half an hour and finally said, “Man you guys need to find something else to talk about?” They both started laughing.

Liz came walking up asking what was so funny and they told her about their conversation and Liz says, “Oh yea we called them doggie treats,” Now instead of two there were three woman going on about dog shit. That was how Sunday went.

Sunday being the day before Memorial Day was another carry in for the market where people brought in food to share. I hated these little events because; well because they all brought in absolutely wonderful Appalachian White Trash food and I would eat until I was sick for a good two days.

I was glad to be going home. I was happy for my solitary peace and quiet Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, I was thrilled that Nathan and the boys were going to come over Monday and we were going to drive around and goof off, I was glad there was a flea market to go to Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

I am a simple creature with a very complex set of circumstances. I am absolutely no different than anyone else, no better, and no worse. I am just like all the rest. Doing whatever it takes to get another day and to have as much fun as possible.

cool peace

hippy mike

love

Idiots

Wed, 23 May 2012 17:05:33 -0400

We are all idiots. We are all goofs. We are all blind and distracted. Wake up!

Voices keep telling me that Annie is on her way back, so, where the fuck is she then. The world is just cluster big daddy crazy and I am just sitting here pretty as a punch bowl filled with raspberries.

She pulled her flesh away to reveal what she really looked like and I found myself still in love with her. I suppose her honesty was the greatest aphrodisiac I had ever experienced.

Yes, yes truth is pain in the beginning but as time passes the truth is what gives us strength and purpose where lies only lead us down a path of a million side roads and everyone is a dead end.

Of course we have all lost what truth really means. The machine, the master of illusion is telling stories on both sides and the confusion and distraction is as thick as tomato wine.

It will take truth finally standing up and screaming till everyone listens, till everyone hears and the bleeding from the ears will be the answers that we have ignored for such a long, long time.

She comes across the text waves with some desperate request and I can’t tell her the truth, so, I am the biggest hypocrite of them all. It just seems like the truth in this case would just be more uncomfortable and painful than is needed for either one of us. The facts here are right there, right in front of us and she refuses to see them, that my friend is her problem, not mine.

You know what; I think I am finally done with all of this. Man I am either stupid or just hard-headed but I think I have finally got to a place where this just isn’t worth the bullshit and pain that it has caused. This self-mutilation just is a ridiculous way to live out each day.

Don’t get weird; I ain’t cuttin’ myself or anything like that. I’m just ripping apart my very soul, my very being over a heartbreak that was never even close to a love affair. It was all just bullshit and frankly I’ve always known that, I just got comfortable with the pain, the shame, the guilt, the remorse, silly I know but true.

This story just keeps getting told and the plot keeps playing itself out but the main character seems to always be off doing something else and when she finally does show up she never stays long enough for it to really get comfortable. Maybe there’s a reason for that. Maybe there’s a reason for all of this.

I actually pose a statement that suggests what the problem is and you of course come back with the same old bullshit as before. “I don’t understand that at all.”

Here’s the mix. I don’t think you do know what the problem is. I really think we have all lost complete use of our common sensibilities anymore. We have been so distracted with poverty, hunger, abuse, violence, lies and rage that we are not able to understand our emotions anymore, to understand the truth that is right there, right in front of us, so, we continue with small talk and bad talk and mean talk and we just keep protecting our make believe egos.

When I heard the knock on my door I knew it was going to be something stupid. I knew it would not be Annie Cosmic. I knew it would be another hallucinatory wet dream massacre that could not be avoided.

The song playing on the computer was repeating “sleeping with a gun under my pillow” as I headed for the door.

There was no one there, or so I thought.

I felt something move through me. It was my death.

I dropped to my knees sobbing. My death was here for a visit.

I turned my head and there stood, well there I stood looking down at me with a sick stupid smile on my face. My death said, “You really are a ridiculous sight there Mical.”

I turned back around and there stood Annie Cosmic looking down on me. She was wearing skin tight stretch pants with black boots and a muscle shirt. Her breasts were large and her nipples were erect. I could smell her sex and I was immediately alive. Her hair was pitch black and wild and her eyes were staring at me and burning holes into my soul.

Annie growled, “Hi sweetie. I’m baaaaaaack!”

I growled back, “What the fuck is my death doing here?”

Annie laughed, “Oh he just stopped in for a visit. To see how you were doing. Look I didn’t have anything to do with it. He just attached himself to me and came along. It’s up to you to find out what he wants.”

I jumped up and wheeled around and ask, “What do you want?”

My death spoke to me. “We have an assignment for you and the lovely Annie Cosmic. You are to save the world.”

I laughed and huffed, “No shit! Some things never change do they?”

My death spoke again, “You have no choice or say in this and if you do not succeed then I will be back to take you away from here for good. There won’t be any more universes, lives, loves or Annie Cosmic’s. You’ve had your fun, both of you and now it’s time to get this done.”

I was surprisingly annoyed by my death. “Go fuck yourself!”

Annie grabbed my shoulder, “Mical, please be careful. One breath of your death toward you and you are no longer alive.”

My death spoke to me again, “Listen to her you arrogant bastard. This is your last chance. You don’t get anymore. We’ve wasted too much time on you, on both of you as it is, lifetimes, eons, universes and infinite consciousness’s.”

My death was gone.

I turned around and pulled Annie Cosmic into me and kissed her passionately. When we were done I barked, “What the hell was that all about; my death; come on?

Annie headed for the fridge to get a Diet Pepsi, “Mical we don’t have any more time or choices. The whole, the infinite whole is falling into itself because of the insanity, the apathy and the rage of this planet earth. We have been given the task of saving this planet from itself. Many demons will be coming and we have to stop them. Man there is nothing like a Diet Pepsi!”

I walked over to Annie, “So what is next?”

Annie smiled and kissed me, “You know what’s next Mical.”

cool peace

hippy mike

love

The continuing adventures of Aardvark Diggs

A break in the logic

Did you see the size of that man's feet!?A flirtatious dance while looking for a book

Road to nowhere

The dance of the losers

Who can be?

The truth can never be

The story continues

Karma

Bad timing

The story falls apart

Gunnar finally gets it

Oh Annie...

and there it is...

And there it is...

Sat, 19 May 2012 18:05:57 -0400

And there it is you idiot, you fool, you vagabond traveller of the stars.

The truth is right there in front of you, the truth that has always been there. This life, this absolutely beautiful life! It’s the most important thing in the universe, in this infinite now. The love you have experienced all wrapped up into that one amazing woman, from the beginning to the end and beyond, this love that will never leave you, that will never die. You brought that to me, yes you did and I never told you. I was the vagabond fool, the hippy dippy tripper who was too far gone man, having the time of my life and not paying attention to what was right in front of me.

I don’t know if what I do is important, if it is memorable, I just do it. It’s like my body absorbs the energy and the rest just happens. I really can’t recall the actually process. I just let it happen.

I know that Annie and I have a lot of travelling to do still and I know that I am very close to the next great adventure. My lack of patience is killing me. I want the excitement. I want the danger. I thrive on the unknown. I just cannot stand being bored.

My name has changed so many times I don’t even know what name I should give myself anymore. I changed my name because I never knew who I was to begin with. I am Michael. I am Mike. I am Gunnar. I was Big Dummy. I am Micah. I am Mical. Oh it goes on and on. John, Jacob, Daniel maybe even Jesus.

Dad called me Big Dummy when I was a kid, well teenager. I was clumsy because of my blind eye and I had enormous feet and was always running into things. Of course there was another reason also.

I miss dad. I miss him because we never had the relationship we should have had, which of course is bullshit. We had exactly the relationship we were supposed to have. Nothing happens by change, absolutely nothing.
We are put here to find out our own truths and to live our own destinies and to take this life that is so beautiful and full and carry it with us to the next adventure. My dad and I had to go through what we went through.

I remember her saying, “I am the pragmatist, the logical one and you, ah you are the romantic. It’s really quite ironic isn’t it?”

She was absolutely right and it made my heart ache just a little.

I woke up this morning dreaming about dad. He was a crazy old hermit with his hair long and shaggy and white and his beard hung to the middle of this chest. He was still in coveralls but he looked wild and untamed. He kept asking me if I would take him with me to the flea market and I kept thinking how sad it was that he was so out of control since mom died and yet I knew in the dream that it wasn’t mom that had died, it was dad.

Mindy Worth kept showing up in the dream. She looked the age she would be now which was the same age as me. We went to school together. Mindy wasn’t a beauty but she was cute and she had an absolutely gorgeous body. Nick Worth, her high school boyfriend that got her pregnant and married her like seven of the couples did in my graduating class in 1973, including me and Maggie was dead, he had died of diabetes. I really have no idea if he is dead or not or even if Mindy is still alive or not. Mindy and I were flirting with each other and she was asking about my dad.

I finally got up dizzy and got dressed and headed for the flea market.

I needed the market to be busy today and it just wasn’t. Oh it was busier than yesterday but it was still not what I had hoped for. A sale here, another there but they were all small sales, nothing major. I felt like crying most of the day and wasn’t really sure why.

She texted me and said she had figured out why she was so down. It was because Taylor had died the 27^th of this month.

I suppose that had something to do with it but I also knew what the real reason she was sad was. It was the same reason I was sad. I finally texted back that I was down because I just thought about everything too God damn much. I knew she wouldn’t get it or if she did she wouldn’t admit it. It was her that I was thinking too God damn much about.

I was losing sense of who was Maggie, who T.J. was and who Annie Cosmic was and I knew that they were all the same person. All of the rest in-between those three were the same person. They were all Annie and Annie was coming home, finally but would it be the Annie I remember or would it be Maggie or Lana or Starling Blue, or Wren or Rea or any of the many others that their names escaped me right at this very moment?

Or would she simply be who she has always been. She will be Annie Cosmic.

Tomorrow was a big day. I was going to Columbus to see my grandson, to see my daughter Sunflower and her partner Legend and to help them get some things done around the house and eat KFC.

I was excited and frightened. I didn’t really have enough money to be going but I didn’t care. I was still going. The Micah of the olden days that was good at ignoring common sense was going in full gear, well not really. I was scared shitless. I wasn’t as durable as I used to be, or maybe I was but I hadn’t really tested that for a long time.

I was done being sensible. I was done being safe. Sensible and safe was no fun anymore. I needed to move outside the comfort zone for a change and take a great big breath and take all this life in, hold it, cherish it, love it and then let it go for the next breath. I was far from being done with this journey. Annie Cosmic and I had a whole hell of a lot more adventures to go on.

cool peace

hippy mike

love

The continuing adventures of Aardvark Diggs

A break in the logic

Did you see the size of that man's feet!?A flirtatious dance while looking for a book

Road to nowhere

The dance of the losers

Who can be?

The truth can never be

The story continues

Karma

Bad timing

The story falls apart

Gunnar finally gets it

Oh Annie...

Tue, 15 May 2012 15:05:01 -0400

Oh Annie will anyone remember me when this journey is finally through?

Oh Annie, where the hell are you?

Van Gogh died a madman with not a penny to his name.

Mozart was buried in a public grave crazy and poor.

Somehow we are supposed to be ok with the fact that these great, brilliant creators were not even noticed until they were both dead. Do they know that people worship their creations now?

Life can seem so unbelievably cruel and the cruelty is that we desperately want to believe that we matter, that everything we touch is important and that our time here is significant and will be remembered. Those that we remember are rare instances of humanity being shown the futility of their own dreams, obsessions and wishes.

I need Annie by my side right now, more so than I have ever needed Annie to be by my side.

The world isn’t real anymore and the voices in my head are not telling me the truth anymore and I am sitting in the corner remembering the way her skin tasted and smelled.

Of course she is gone again. Doing battles with the cosmos and leaving me behind in my perpetual hell of flea markets and lonely people wanting desperately for me to be a hero.

I am no hero. I am just Gunnar.

Aardvark Diggs wrote on my bathroom mirror “Will return with goodies” in red lipstick. I don’t know how I knew it was Aardvark Diggs, I just knew.

I suppose I should be used to hallucinations and alternative universes but I’m not. I don’t like the universe when it doesn’t have Annie Cosmic in it and in all honesty she is still here but just not right here, right now.

The ocean of humanity is teaming with negative poisons. The new virus that is infecting us all is taking away our love for life, for the living and for what was here before that is still here now.

The heart can sink like a stone.

I find myself at four in the morning sitting in a lawn chair outside of my apartment. It’s breezy and warm, a beautiful night with the clouds coming in for a tremendous storm. I can see the lightening and hear the thunder off in the west of town. It’s going to be a glorious evening, early morning.

I know that the tears running down my face are not tears of sorrow or tears of joy. They are merely tears of life. I am alive and I and Mother Nature are going to dance this morning.

There’s an colossal clap of thunder. One-thousand one, one-thousand two, one thousand… Ah yes the storm is getting closer.

Out of the corner of my eye, that place in our vision where the secrets reveal themselves I see my angels standing there holding each other and kissing each other and laughing. They know it’s all coming to a head on this very black night, this very dark morning.

I hear electronic music and the angels begin to dance and sing. Their voices are like heroin.

Soon they come out into the rain that is just beginning and don’t care if I can see them. I stand up and walk to them and they embrace me and we all sing and dance in the rain and the lightening begins to strike feverishly all around us and the thunder is so loud and forceful that the earth is shaking.

Suddenly the rain stops.

The skies clear and the full moon is shining so unbelievably bright down on us. The angels squeal and giggle and run off leaving me soaked and still crying humming the tune that was not playing any more.

Oh Annie where are you?

Were you ever really here?

I turn around finally and walk to my chair and sit down. The silence is so pure, so complete. I feel as if I have died and what if the angels that we think are there to save us are really the demons there to destroy us?

No one will ask the question because none of us want to know the answer. We just are not equipped to handle the truth anymore. Maybe we never were able to.

The sides have been picked and the factions are aligning and the lies are what is breeding into our bloodstreams and we will go to war with each other over lies and the ones that manufactured this entire idea will finally be in change and we will be nothing but machines doing their biding.

Suddenly there is nothing but liquid blackness. I am no longer sitting in my chair. I am floating in pure darkness. This black is comforting and I feel safe and I am ready for this new blanket to suffocate me and bring me to another universe, another dream, another…

cool peace

hippy mike

love