Michael Rodgers's Open Salon Blog

Larry King Gets Dissed By Carrie Prejean. Big Time!

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 11:11:10 -0500

Last night on Larry King live, Carrie Prejean stormed off the set (then later came back) claiming King was asking inappropriate questions of the former beauty queen turned right wing darling and champion of same sex marriage. Prejean has a new book out 'Still Standing' about how she was unfairly prosecuted for her religious views on marriage. I say bull.

She withdrew a lawsuit against Miss California Pageant officials that claimed unfairly being fired for her religious views after pageant attorneys showed her a tape she sent to an old boyfriend of her pleasuring herself. Pageant officials claimed she was removed for dereliction of duty.

It seems that Prejean wants the free publicity that talk shows provide to promote her book, but she doesn't want to answer the hard questions that make those same talk shows popular. I say she shouldn't have it both ways, but what do I know. Apparently there were some issues that were previously discussed that King wasn't allowed to question. King apparently didn't get the memo.

Though I haven't read the book, I have read some reviews. They run the gamut from support to utter disgust as one might expect. Personally, I don't care about the book. I doubt I'll ever read it. I can't see putting money in the pockets of those I don't agree with. Maybe when the books ends up in the dollar bin at Barnes and Noble in a couple months, I'll reconsider.

I wrote a post last week about the the Prejean video and thanks to all of you, it was my most successful post ever and I thank you all, but there were some people that actually joined OS so they could throw some darts at me. No big deal, but who knew I wielded such power? People can be overly sensitive.

I would like it to be noted that the only thing I have against Prejean is the hypocisy that she continually fails to notice. I don't care what she believes about marriage. Everyone has a right to their opinion. Her religious views don't bother me. She is entitled to her beliefs like anyone else. I could care less about the video. People video themselves all the time and then send them out over the intertubes all the time. To each his own. She said it was the worse mistake of her life and she's sorry she ever did it. I'm good with that. No problem. I don't even care about Perez Hilton (who asked the question that started the controversy) and consider him just another attention whoring glory hound.

My problem with Prejean is that she claims to be all about free speech, freedom of choice and equal rights, but then aides in the making of same sex only commercials that are intended to prevent the same rights she enjoys from being enjoyed by others.

She then rails about being persecuted by the liberal media when others choose to exercise their own freedom of speech. I just don't see how you can be for equal rights and then say that gays and lesbians shouldn't be allowed the same rights as everyone else. Maybe I don't understand the meaning of hypocrisy.

She shows an opportunistic agenda (again, not a problem) to promote herself and her book, then gets pissy and pulls her mike when a well respected and longtime host asks her a question that people want to know about. Maybe I'm making too much of it, but she could have handled that situation a little better. She obviously had someone off screen advising her. Maybe she should look for a new handler.

This is only my opinion, but whether intentional or not, it appears to me that Carrie Prejean is quickly becoming the Anita Bryant of our time. At least that is who she is starting to remind me of. I really hope she doesn't go down that road. I don't want to witness that spectacle again.

Friday the 13th Funnies

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 17:11:49 -0500

Just think..........

If the Indians had given the

Pilgrims a donkey

instead of a turkey, we would

all be having

a piece of ass this

Thanksgiving!!..

*****

FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW TO GAIN A HAPPY LIFE:

1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home,
Who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you
Laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust
And who doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed
And who likes to be with you.

5. It's very important that these four women
Do not know each other.

***

How do you

pronounce

Oklahoma ?

There is a right way

and a wrong way to

pronounce

Oklahoma.

The

proper way is:

OKLA....HOMA.

(There's a gap

between the 'a' and

the 'h')

And I can prove

it..................

*****

ANOTHER DUMB BLOND STORY...

A blond teenager, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a 'handy-woman' and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.

She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

'Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch,' he said, 'How much will you charge me?'

Delighted, the girl quickly responded, How about $50?'

The man agreed and told her that the paint brushes and everything she would need was in the garage. The man's wife, hearing the conversation said to her husband, 'Does she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?'

He responded, That's a bit judgemental, isn't it?'

The wife replied, You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blond jokes.'

Later that day, the blond came to the door to collect her money.

You're finished already?' the startled husband asked.

'Yes', the blond replied, 'and I even had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.'

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her along with a ten dollar tip.

And, by the way, ' the blond added, 'It's not a Porch, it's a Lexus.'

*****

I was so depressed last night

thinking about the economy

and everything crazy going

on in my life I called the

Suicide Hotline.

I got a freakin' call center in

Pakistan.

I told them I was suicidal.

They got all excited and asked

if I could drive a truck.

*****

That kid is going the wrong way.

Gluttony is still a sin. Gross.

Soccer man have nasty crack up.

What Heaven must be like.

Have you ever seen a happier elephant?

Ice pillow. Ahhhhh!

Farm cats are cool!

O'Really! I found you a boyfriend!

An 'Oh Shit' moment.

Never fart in a loaded train car.

Knick-knack, paddy-whack, draw your dog a bone......

Gah!

Not in East L.A.

~~~~~~~~~~

I owe Fellow OSer Ric Tresa for these next two!

*****

For those who thought that Bambi and Thumper were just

Disney cartoon characters.......

They are both very real animals and I have proof.......

And are the proud parents of.......

.....the mythical Jackalope.

True story.

*****

And now for your viewing pleasure, Geriatric Sex with Bea.

*****

And finally some more graveyard humor.

*****

Friday Funnies 11/20/2009

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 10:11:30 -0500

Remember when they chased that balloon all the way across Colorado because they thought a little boy was inside?

And then they carefully poked the balloon with pitchforks and shovels to see if the kid was inside?

The authorities didn't want to let anyone know what they really found inside because they didn't want the world to know that they got punked, but I was lucky enough to find a picture of the true contents of the balloon!

Got any butter?!

*************************

One thing you never you never hear a kid say when they're

growing up is.........

Someday I wanna grow up to be trailer trash.

I don't know how those poor bastards get by.

***************************

THOSE OLD ITALIANS GUYS, THEY'RE ALWAYS THINKING AHEAD.

A hooded armed robber bursts into the Bank of Italy and forces the tellers to load a sack full of cash.

On his way out the door with the loot, one brave Italian
customer grabs the hood and pulls it off revealing the robber's face.

The robber shoots the guy in the head without hesitation!

He then looks around the bank to see if anyone else has seen him. One of the tellers is looking straight at him. The robber walks over and calmly shoots her in the head.

Everyone by now is very scared and looking down at the floor.

"Dida anyone elsa seeya my face?" calls the robber.

There follows a tense silence. Then an elderly Italian gent, looking down, tentatively raises his hand and says: "I thinka my wife seena you face".

********************************

But they make us dance really awesome!!

***********

**************************

Great thanks to Ric Tresa for this one.

If you can't find what you're looking for, you must be in the..........

(say it real fast if you don't get it)

*********************************

Ever wonder where those Holiday pumpkin pies come from?

*********************

Remember that cute little Coppertone girl with her dog pulling on her
blue bathing suit bottoms during the late 50's and throughout the 60's?

Well, she's all grown up now, and is living in Naples , Florida .

AAAAAGH !!!

****************

Keeping up with the Jones during the Christmas season can be difficult. Can you tell which home had a layoff in the family?

*******************

I don't know if this is true or not, but this is exactly the way the message was sent to me. This picture was supposedly taken on a road that is just a few short miles from my house and one that I ride my motorcycle on a lot. Alone. At night. The area is littered with wild hogs and I worry about hitting them all the time. I'm thinking maybe I should find another route.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How would you like to encounter this on the road?

Hog Hunting Florida Style

HOG HUNTING ON RIVER ROAD, A ROAD NEXT TO I-75

& U.S. 41, JUST SOUTH OF NORTH PORT , TOWARDS

ROTONDA WEST AND ENGLEWOOD , FLORIDA

The trick is teaching them to let go of the Hog once they've caught it.

*************************

If you missed this one when it aired, You may just want to take a look.

Jon Stewart mocks Glenn Beck ........

*******************

Carrie Prejean Goes Down. Literally!

Thu, 5 Nov 2009 07:11:44 -0500

Former Miss California runner-up, Carrie Prejean had her day in court yesterday, though it didn’t turn out quite the way she had hoped. The Beauty Pageant almost Queen was suing the Miss California Pageant officials for a litany of charges including public ridicule, anxiety, depression and loss of sleep stemming from the official’s handling of her career.

Everything was going fine until the defendants started playing an extremely graphic homemade sex tape starring none other than Miss Prejean, herself.

It’s been reported that it only took about fifteen seconds of playing the tape before Prejean decided to drop her lawsuit. If all litigation could only end so quickly.

How fast and far can one star fall.

If you recall (and who can forget with all the coverage the story got) Prejean rose to national attention with her admonishment against gay marriage in her series of pageant questions. She finished runner-up and claimed she lost because she was treated unfairly due to the nature of that question. She later claimed she was warned by officials two months earlier that maybe she should keep her religious beliefs out of her answers, but I guess she had a point she wanted to make. I would have to agree that the question was a bit unfair.

She stated that she believed that marriage should only be between a man and a woman. Her answers quickly started a fire storm and made her the darling of the rightwing. Finally, there was someone of notoriety willing to champion therights religious agenda against gay marriage. A real live beauty queen with a brain! Yay!

Next came the talk show circuit and the tangled mess that that always seems to create. America just couldn’t get enough of Carrie Prejean. The right loved her. The left hated her. American TV loved her. Ratings soared.

Next, Pageant officials decided to pull her Miss Runner-up status because she failed to perform her duties as an almost winner. Seems she had time for all the talk and news shows, but that cut deeply into the time she was supposed to be performing pageant duties. Something had to suffer and it wasn’t going to be TV time. After all, those gays need to be stopped from loving each other.

Then the boob job story and the semi nude photos came out. Her story just keeps getting better and better. It seems that the Miss California Pageant ponied up for Prejean’s breast enhancement. Free boobs! Yay! I doubt that saline or the tasteful photos set that well with the right, but hey, she was still against gay marriage so they decided to run with it anyway. After all, nobody's perfect and boobs are nice.

Donald Trump (ick), who owns the pageant, took Prejean’s side in the debate, then he didn’t, which just helped keep the story in the public eye. All the while Prejean is playing the victim of the liberal media, though Fox News continued to parade her as a hero for the religious right. Go figure.

A You Tube video claiming “Carrie Prejean, Miss California USA, was denied the Miss USA crown because she stood up for her moral beliefs. In this Fox News segment she defends her Christian faith and responds with dignity, courage and integrity to the vile filth and persecution that has been heaped upon her by celebrity parasite "Perez Hilton" and the rest of the Political Correctness Gestapo.” was recently (yesterday) pulled from the site. Note the words, 'responds with dignity, courage and integrity'. You are free to laugh now.

Funny thing is, is that Perez Hilton, who had asked the big question and was vilified by the right for it, got the last laugh on this one. After all the bashing that Hilton and celebrity entertainment show, TMZ took over this story, it seems TMZ has had possession of the XXX rated homemade tape for months and was waiting for the right time to reveal it (for maximum effect, would be my guess). That time came in yesterday's courtroom. Ouch, that's gonna leave a mark.

Naturally there was a book deal for Prejean announced in July with a launch date slated for mid-November. The title, “Still Standing: The Untold Story of My Fight Against Gossip, Hate, and Political Attacks” may need a little work. I’ll leave it to you to come up with a new title.

The publisher of the book also claims: "Still Standing proves that she’s more than just a pretty face – she’s a strong woman of admirable religious, political, and moral substance, and she’s one of the leaders in a new movement championing conservative women everywhere." That statement might also need a little polish.

Of course, all of this should have little effect on her career. If anything it will add fuel to it with the way Americans are infatuated with hypocrites and fallen angels. Vivid Entertainment Group, which specializes in adult films, made an offer of a million dollars to Prejean back in May to make a movie for them. Seems she might be a natural. This could only raise her value in the porn market. Practice makes perfect.

I'm curious as to how all the rightwing Prejean backers will spin this and find a way to blame this on everyone but Prejean. I might even turn on Fox News to check it out. With Prejean's looks and attitude, she may end up with her own show over there since credibility isn't a factor in Fox's hiring practices.

And for those of you who don’t remember who actually won the Miss California Pageant, her name is Tami Ferrell from Malibu. How soon we forget those with actual morals.

Friday Funnies 11/06/09

Fri, 6 Nov 2009 19:11:07 -0500

VIAGRA COMPANY

HEADQUARTERS

***

Every business need a gimmick, but this one is just wrong.

Funny? Sure, but still wrong.

***

Here's a late entry from UmbrellaKinesis!

***

I got this new deodorant today.

The instructions said remove cap and push up bottom.

I can barely walk, but whenever I fart the room smells great!

***

You can always tell when a company hires a new human resources officer. The first thing they always want to do is try and change the status quo by laying down a bunch of rules that no one will ever follow.

In order to promote a "kinder,

gentler" society, I would like to

submit the following for your

consideration while still going

about your daily work routine?

Cursing at Work

Dear Employees:

It has been brought to

management's attention that

some individuals throughout

the company have been using

foul language during the

course of normal conversation

with their co-workers.

Due to complaints received

from some employees who

may be easily offended, this

type of language will no

longer be tolerated.

We do, however, realize the

critical importance of being

able to accurately express

your feelings when

communicating with

co-workers.

Therefore,a list of 18 New

and Innovative 'TRY SAYING'

phrases have been provided

so that proper exchange of

ideas and information can

continue in an effective

manner.

Number 1

TRY SAYING: I think you could

use more training..

INSTEAD OF: You don't know

what the f___ you're doing..

Number 2

TRY SAYING: She's an

aggressive go-getter.

INSTEAD OF: She's a f___ing

bit__.

Number 3

TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can

work late.

INSTEAD OF: And when the

f___ do you expect me to do this?

Number 4

TRY SAYING: I'm certain that

isn't feasible.

INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.

Number 5

TRY SAYING: Really?

INSTEAD OF: You've got to be

sh___ing me!

Number 6

TRY SAYING: Perhaps you

should check with...

INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who

gives a sh__.

Number 7

TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved

in the project.

INSTEAD OF: It's not my

f___ing problem.

Number 8

TRY SAYING: That's interesting.

INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

Number 9

TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this

can be implemented.

INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't

work.

Number 10

TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule

that.

INSTEAD OF: Why the f___

didn't you tell me sooner?

Number 11

TRY SAYING: He's not familiar

with the issues...

INSTEAD OF: He's got his head

up his a__.

Number 12

TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir ?

INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

Number 13

TRY SAYING: So you weren't

happy with it?

INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.

Number 14

TRY SAYING: I'm a bit

overloaded at the moment.

INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I'm on

salary.

Number 15

TRY SAYING: I don't think you

understand.

INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your

a__.

Number 16

TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.

INSTEAD OF: This f___ing job

sucks.

Number 17

TRY SAYING: You want me to

take care of that?

INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died

and made you boss?

Number 18

TRY SAYING: He's somewhat

insensitive.

INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.

Thank You,

Human Resources

***

I'm betting this guy probably drinks more than he should.

Any takers?

***

DEAR TIDE,

I AM WRITING THIS TO SAY WHAT AN EXCELLENT PRODUCT YOU HAVE. I'VE USED IT ALL MY LIFE AS MY MOM SAID, IT'S THE BEST. NOW THAT I'M IN MY FORTIES,I FIND IT EVEN BETTER.

ABOUT A MONTH AGO I SPILLED SOME RED WINE ON MY WHITE BLOUSE. MY INCONSIDERATE AND UNCARING BOYFRIEND STARTED BELITTLING ME ABOUT HOW CLUMSY I WAS, AND GENERALLY BEING A PAIN IN MY NECK. ONE THING LED TO ANOTHER AND SOMEHOW I ENDED UP WITH HIS BLOOD ON MY NEW WHITE BLOUSE!

I GRABBED MY BOTTLE OF TIDE WITH BLEACH ALTERNATIVE. TO MY SUPRISE AND SATISFACTION, ALL THE STAINS CAME OUT! IN FACT,THE STAINS CAME OUT SO GOOD THAT THE DETECTIVE THAT CAME BY YESTERDAY SAID THAT THE DNA TESTS ON MY BLOUSE, CAME OUT NEGATIVE, AND THEN MY ATTORNEY CALLED AND SAID THAT I WAS NO LONGER A SUSPECT IN THE DISAPPEARANCE OF MY BOYFRIEND!!!

WHAT A RELIEF!! GOING THROUGH MENOPAUSE IS BAD ENOUGH WITHOUT BEING A MURDER SUSPECT. WELL,GOT TO GO. I HAVE TO WRITE A LETTER TO THOSE HEFTY BAG PEOPLE.

THANKS AGAIN,

A LOYAL CUSTOMER

***

NOW YOU KNOW WHY RAINCOATS ARE YELLOW.

***

Happy kitty!

***

There are a lot of stories about death on Open Salon. Here are some unusual buriel sites.

***

What post would be complete without some stupid human tricks?

I have to thank Umbrellakinesis for this one.

Thanks, Umby!