MOMSACOMIC's Open Salon Blog

Are There No Answers in Tyler Clementi Case?

Mon, 21 May 2012 19:05:19 -0400

There are many types of people that can make many narsistic comments that are usually lame. In the case of Ravi it would be his actions that would allow me to not see past his own ignorance. He wouldn't get the sense of embarrasment, but then from Tyler Clementi's point of view, if the shoe were reveresed and it was Ravi with a girl and the girl was pissed off or worse decided to kill herself would the ugliness of this case be seen? It is useless when people are not willing to accept blame nor think there childish behavior has cost a life.

In this case, people were asked by Twitter followers to tune into to watch these two people involved in gay sex. Why? What purpose do we need to watch two people fornicating? Is it something weve never witnessed before? How childish is this act? and to think that Ravi will go to jail for thirty days because of his age, and his politically incorrect worries about people trying to steal his stuff because it's a college dorm. It worked though, it was a good enough alibi, and also the jury may have had different views.

A person who is willing to undertake suicide is at thier own disposal, unfortunately for Tyler who felt that his act of sexual behavior was so imporper that it was worth his life? Many people act improperly and may have even greater need to be ashamed, but aren't why not? Sex is a human act, even though for most it is centered around an act of intimacy, for many especially young people sex can mean many things. Remember back in the day when getting down in the back seat of a car was not such a bad thing, but the good girl wouldn't be caught dead.

The hurrahs of many first sexual encounters along with the blunders, and the "I" thoughts would fill a pretty big book. But Tyler Clementi had to have realized that his gay sex would be and might be of question since he came out to his parent's not long before going away to school. Why would parent's want to live in the dark ages and think that their children would not want to experiment with different sexual styles? That is part of exploring identity and just doing "it". We dare don't think of the consequences? AIDS, sexually transmitted diseaes all go away after those brief but shameful interludes, until the next day when we assess our behavor and decide if this last sexual encounter was worthy or if we again are experimenting.

In experimenting, we can find ourselves alone in many strange positions both physically and mentally, does he or she have a significant other? Does he or she have a criminal background? There were a smattering of cases that made for some pretty ugly headlines, remember the med student with serious girl friend, seeking fast sex with the girl in the hotel he latter killed? There are a milleou of ways we digress with each sexual advance, unless we are involved with real people who are balanced and know what they are about.

It dosen't take a village in this case to stop and take notice of how sexual stuff is always happening, but in this case the person who was taking notice claimed to be a good friend of Tyler Clementi. And coming from priveledged backgrounds also helped to piece together that "I" don't give a damn attitude, that the death of Tyler Clemnti was not an accident, but a suicide and for that fact alone Ravi would not be found guilty, because suicide is a single act, that takes more courage than most would like to admit. That by no means makes it acceptable, but it should not have been so easy for Ravi to turn the other cheek and not look or make sense of his wrong doing.

The idea alone of being someones friend means that you would at the least like to have this persons back. Tyler Clementi was a gifted musician and a quite kind of guy, trying like most quite people to like the noise, but that would not be the case. Some people are clever and cavilier and nothing bothers them, or so it seems, but everybody has their give and take. Just in different gradiations, one day when Ravi is older, he will have a family and will have to think if someone is behaving badly or not treating his family members correctly then this reflection might be one, he might like to run away from, but likely not. Since he dosen't take too much to look in the mirror because the picture would be pretty callous.

Open Season on the American Housewife

Sun, 29 Apr 2012 09:04:06 -0400

Okay, I must admit I have kind of had it with every extradinary attempt at normalizing the housewife argument. I don't think it will ever be okay to just be a housewife, that is the plain side of it. The mediocre side says different, the mediocre side says that there is a middle point of millions of women that are somewhere in the middle of housewife douldrums and being able to go out with friends over lunch, when affordable. Remember that being a housewife in most instances implys exactly what it states, the women runs the show or the ship, of the house and bears at least 3-4 hours a day in some type of housework situation. Whether it be making beds, opening windows, freshen up the appearance, clean the dust off of surfaces, common on you know that sounds like you? Right? But many husbands would prefer that a houswife also have some kind of employment, not to mention some housewifes I mention that work two jobs never mind one.

Now why would someone want to go out and have 2 jobs never mind one...well the employers of todays world are out to not be screwed by the insurance industry. So they must stay afloat by asking for your hard service and to put up the grind of the office and not get benefits because they only give you 35 hours or a 30 hour work week. So people feel compelled to go out and find another part time job. It is crazy, but people need to make money to survive and for the obvious for not wanting to become chattle to their husband kind. What does this say for the men who are at home raising children? I know that they are out there and also the men who work opposite hours of their wives in order to pay for the condo or the mortgage and phones and the expenses that generation Xer's are forced to pay out.

These so called luxuries are an expense but this generation that my children are part of as grown children is also asking you to pay for a smart phone that can run anywhere from a 100.00 to couple of hundred dollars. Even on the internet with the so called deals, and then the contracts and the monthly bills. Do you have a car? that means insurance, what about pets? another exorbideint expense...but to each of these entities it is their stock and trade, the classification of society is an art work. I stress a abstract of dollars and sense...and sometimes mis-sense to the tune of our national deficit being tied in due to people claiming bankruptcy.

We don't see why our vision of the good old days has greatly diminished; because the way it used to be was too simple. We have turned it into a event equivalent to the none other than the Olympics. Is that what is being asked of the American housewife today? Get ready for the 100 yard perfect ironing board competion? or the dish wash derby? or what about the cook and clean championship? It is remarkable at how the housewifes apparition is one of homliness and homogenous, when on the flip side you have more housewifes than ever that have taken to the airwaves announcing their take on a great way to prepare half hour dishes. Rachel Ray was one of the first who started tweaking the picture with her speedy and inexpensive meals and encouraged people to use left overs.

Other housewifes that jumped on this band wagon would be Theresa Guidice of New Jersey Housewife fame, look where she is today. She has three beautiful daughters and despite her much open status on her show which is part of what gives the show it's popularity it is also a statement of, "Is this how WE live?" The majority does not, at least these people and no matter how many reality based shows there are, there are still only a small percentage of people that are making it and coming out with brand name product. This is all business and to look at for anything of much else would be foolish in my eyes. Look at "Lydia" she is one of my favorites to watch, she is not flambouant but simple she embodies the essence of her usually Italian dishes with a great discourse on the origin of the plate so forth and so on.

Other creatives are able to create cup-cakes that I would not know where to begin with the creative ingredients but are simply out rageous and unusual. They will command up ward of 12.00 at least if not more for a cup-cake? But that is the extreme examples that we run up against each and every day that we encounter these extremes. How can we draw a line that seperates our vision of years ago and bring the idea of the mainstream housewife into the 2ooo's? It is a challenge, employers are not willing to get a concept on why this is important, but are willing to let employees go who don't. Employers have no problem not offering benefits which they know cost the company unless they view the individual as a competent individual or they are just that good of a company most are not.

Many bosses become saddist and downright sadistic in knowing that a women has small child and needs to pay for child care, they are not interested in "your" business. It is fine to be about the business otherwise the business itself will fall, but it also costs people in the way of employment benefits, so what was wrong with offering benefits? People still have a long way go to go in configuring the working womens wheel, there are a need for jobs, and women can do both it is a matter of being organized and not letting things to the point that they will need a complete overhaul. I do remember awhile back, someone posted something to that effect who was a housecleaner person. She showed a picture of a toilet bowl she had to scrub clean after it hadn't been cleaned in ages.

Demeaning work like that should not be, but I am sure that with the right tools and a gallon of Clorox bleach, she got the problem resolved. Other ideas of being a housewife conjuer up a dish of warm pancakes with just a dab of butter and warm syrup is that a good contrast?

Evoking Anger

Thu, 12 Apr 2012 19:04:23 -0400

I am sure that this will not be the first argument in regard to Ann Mittney's "I stood at home and raised five children" comment. I am sure that social psychologist are able to make some pretty heady arguments on the behalf of both sides of the coin. Staying at home in the year 2012 is no bargain, (just look at the price of gas.) There are also many other areas that are scarry, you want a good child care provider? they want a good paycheck, one that will afford them insurance, pay for college credits, and also leave a couple of bucks for the numerous "things" that seem to catch the eyes of many us so called humans.

It is an apathethic argument in my eyes, we have discussions too many times to tell, there are book shelves packed with the whys and musts and does and don'ts of practically any librairy. Some people care deeply about the situation of working women, as a matter of fact they study it. It is studied from what perspective women are seen in jobs, is it from the perspective of a government study? Is for the reports for consumerism? Those studies usually show how women far out weigh men in being superiour in this department, but when it comes to earning dollars, women are still not equal to men.

This argument has been going on for as long as I could remember, what does pay say about social issues? Does a woman who works have more say in her home affairs? Some would disagree, it just balances out expenses, it depends I would also think on what the husband does as well, or significant other, what so ever it be. Some people have two incomes, but still earn less or are just above the poverty level. Others manage by being savvy shoppers, craigs list, discounts, coupons, but that can become tiresome. But I am sure with bills and insurance and college for kids, or other problems that come about from life, end up being split down the middle and some losing homes in the foreclousure mess.

Where does it end? the perpetual question of being a stay at home mother as opposed to going to work depends on two things in my eyes? Can you cut the mustard? can you get by people in your work place who make issues out of nothing much? gossip about co-workers? talk about what they earn? speak about finding other work, don't do their work? bosses that are overly bossey, or under bossey, there are other areas as well. Are you required to dress like casual dress? do they treat their employees like human beings or are they objects? There are volumes written on human resources and the lack of not to mention other gray areas, such as race, illegal aliens, and business that don't disclose reasons why they hire then fire, because they don't have to.

In the big picture talk of work is a far relief for most, some are lucky they seem to have the ideal job, whether they have crafted out a niche item, or they are savvy business people, they entertain, or they learn a new way to spin an old idea, there are a myraid of ways the job market has changed. If you have read "What Color Is Your Parachute" Richard Bolles, you would be well aware that even simple work is not so simple. Being bonded at your job is serious business, having insurance is stating that your employer understands a big piece of the human condition. People get sick, and need medical attention notice I said, "people get sick" I didn't say people "may" get sick. They get sick, it's a fact of life, there are numerous affairs to speak about on the nature of work.

There are people that are great at certain jobs, others not so great...with out going in to details we as a society need to justify why we have this ego, in regard to telling people what to do. People can act coherently on theri own basic instinct, some people resent having student loans, oh well... many people other wise with out them, would be sitting looking into the abyss of dullness and never being able to realize very much more, than just living. Other people attend fine universitys and make a contribution towards the medical fields, or towards fiances, or towards humanitarian areas, others can find new ways in which to develop interest in new ventures.

Thankfully we live in times where we can be pretty flexible in making decisions, just as we web cast and now can speak spontaneously to people about different subjects, we should encourage debate regarding how we can identify what those culprits are and make better choices regarding jobs, since they become paramount with our families. We take home our day to day dealings, whether we think we do or not we do. We need to make positive impressions so our children will want to participate in work and in being productive citizens and also to buy into our American economy. If it's not too late for that, since many of us are overly relainat on goods shipped from China. Even though it may be less expensive, it is still not great for American goods and further more American workers.

Another gray area is the cost of things, if you have a child and they are of age where they are getting ready to start their independent life, the rents are starting for a semi decent 1 bedroom starting around 1,000.00 a month if heat and hot water are included say alleluia. Then food, that will range about 75.00 or so a week including toileteries and maybe if he or she is really good at handling cash, maybe a out side lunch. We are a painfully out of touch society, as we are willing to pay with credit cards and I am just as guilty, we are in debt and not willing to see what we are paying for it. As we wind our way back into the entangled ball of yarn, we see that we have hurt so many of our ideals.

Of course the idea of going to work, takes some of the stigma off, but it dosen't answer the question about whos watching the kids? Who will pay the baby sitter if the mother dosen't make enough, what if she is a single parent? or the father cannot afford to pay, or the couple don't live together? There again are the gray areas, Ann Romney may not have had to work, but here again is the double standard, is housework not work? If you ask some they may get defensive some will state they wont do housework. Others make it a day to day grind, shaking crumbs out of the toaster, cleaning the stove, taking out the garbage, washing the floors, cleaning the bathroom, and the refrigator, and the sink and dishwasher. Making the beds, cleaning downt the bedroom floor, I haven't yet gotten to the windows during Spring cleaning. the furniture, and the carpets, and the animals if there are. I still didn't mention shopping for grocerys, there are quite a bit of things that the housewife gets short shrifted for and I still get to the laundry. These are all considerable and all take time to do, they do not get done by themselves, and if there is a child involved add two hours additional inbetween your work sechdule to take care and provide for the childs entertainment and taking out doors it is all part of the housewife maze. Not to mention other essential tasks that a well run housewife takes care of, making sure money is put in the bank, bills are paid on time, and posted either on a bill pay or at the post office are all responsibilities that fall on the housewifes pretty little umbrella, and not to mention taking a bath at night to look pretty for her better half, and still have other fufillment areas that should brighten up the gray, hopefully.

He Once Looked At Me

Thu, 1 Mar 2012 13:03:16 -0500

What was it about the English heart throb that would make most any girl anxious and want to pant when she saw Davy Jones? His vibrant eyes would be my first guess, he had such a sense of anticipation and was born with quite an ability to look into the heart and soul of every school age girl. I am sure there is not a girl born between the 50's and the 60's that wouldn't be caught up in his infectious voice, while he crooned to Marcia Brady, songs like "Girl" and "Day Dream Beliver" there were so many moments made better because of Davy Jones.

His way of "just being" was apparent to many of the people who came up in that time, that was the way people were.

Good for Arnold Diaz (Fox 5 News)

Tue, 14 Feb 2012 00:02:33 -0500

There are too many tell tale signs that continue to keep pointing the finger at how bad we have become at being American. Being American these days is like saying, "I accept anything, and everything." It seems that if you walk into a doctors office, and over charges it's not his fault. Don't try to fight it or argue about it, because likely the medical biller is not able to identify why the code is what it is, but it is. There are very few that are willing to step outside of their comfort zones and take a closer look. But tonights "Ask Arnold's Segement" was from a man from Newton New Jersey. His son sprained his arm and he needed to wear a sling, the sling cost no more than 20.00 dollars at a most pharmacys.

The doctors office was charging 199.00, the man in question stated, "I was not going to pay 199.00 for the sling, period." He spoke to the doctor, the doctor stated that was the charge according to the code, it went on for another call to his insurance company, but nothing got resolved. That is when the gentleman from Newton decided to call Arnold Diaz and ask what could be done regarding a sling that should cost no more than 20.00, and why he was being charged 199.00, of which his insurance company would pay 111.00. But that wasn't the part that was irking Mr. Diaz or the man who was bieng charged.

As the story continued, Arnold got the insurance company, and of course these are highly trained people, who could think and talk fast, and make other lay man feel as though they "just might not know what they are talking about." In this case as it continued to be spelled out, the medical code was wrong, as Arnold marched straight into the Department of Medicare in Washington D.C. and asked for clarification of why the man was being charged 199.00 for a sling that cost 20.00 if that? The Washington Medicare office stated that the code was actually for a much stronger brace, and that the code was wrong.

Well after all the haggling, and the legal research on behalf of the medical office and the medical supplies office and the code and billing department they as a result had to send other people the letter stating that the code was wrong, and there fore they were sent back the money that people sent in toward the sling, and were given refund checks back. But what I was happy to see, was that some "one" made a difference, rather than being angry, he choose a constructive way of saying, "something is not right with this picture." There is much more of this situation that needs to continue, there are too many costs that spiral out of control and "We the people for the people keep getting pounded."

I don't recall seeing this anyplace in print in our Constituition, and I don't belive we should. We continue to see sky rocketing premiums and with the job market the way it is, there are going to be many people that will be paying out of pocket to see a doctor, (could you imangine?) Another fine point this brought out, was that the doctors office wasn't too concerned, and neither was the medical billing department, so how many other medical coding issues mistakes keep taking place? As many as tax payers will allow, since most of the medical community belives that inherently the "American people are too comfortable to get up and stop the non-sense." Thank-You to the gentleman from Newton who knew that 199.00 was too much to pay for a sling, and to Arnold Diaz for helping to define how far up the line it took to find the era to a rather obvious answer.