Mortimer Hayden Smyth's Open Salon Blog

What IS "Terrorism," anyway? No One KNOWS!

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 23:11:22 -0500

"i dont bow 2 ANYBODY!"

My twitter account is NOT fake. It's real.

Check for yourself HERE.

The Word That Lurks Beneath...

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 23:09:12 -0400

"U can't prove anything!"

My twitter account is NOT fake. It's real.

Check for yourself HERE.

"Guarding The Hen House": a child's health care parable

Tue, 8 Sep 2009 17:09:20 -0400

A civic-minded 8-year old named Brandon Willmanson sent me the following short story, "Guarding The Henhouse", a parable about the current health care situation in America. I was initially inspired by this youngster's initiative, although I must confess that I was not prepared for the rather ugly turn his story would ultimately take. Still, despite this setback, I think I managed to salvage a worthwhile message from the whole thing...

"I am no nail!"

My twitter account is NOT fake. It's real.

Check for yourself HERE.

One of my "28 ATTACKS" makes a comeback!!

Wed, 5 Aug 2009 19:08:30 -0400

Some of you might recall my "28 Attacks in 28 Days" campaign initiative back in October. (To those who are unfamiliar, a helpful summary can be found here.) Basically, I would make up a fresh new attack on Barack Obama every day until the Election. I was heavily criticized for my approach, which eschewed verifiable facts in favor of Fear-based Invented Truths.^_TM

The initiative's goal-- to ensure a Republican electoral victory-- was a failure, but I'm happy to report that my FBIT^TM methods have inspired a new wave of political activism on the right. My former dentist has been using my patented FBIT^TM techniques to rally the Birther movement, and The Lewin Group has been producing several "nonpartisan studies" about Health Care, using FBIT^TM to maximize results. (For regular updates from The Lewin Group, follow me on Twitter.)

I'll admit-- many if not all of my 28 ATTACKS have yet to be verified by Obama's actions during the first 6+ months of the his Administration. The press has yet to obtain a photo of him eating a little pumpkin as if it was an apple, he has not hijacked a space shuttle to go live on the moon, and he apparently does not sleep 22 hours a day. If I were capable of experiencing shame, this could be an uncomfortable moment for me. Thankfully, my friend and mentor Bill Kristol taught me that there is no shame in always being wrong-- the trick is genuinely not caring.

However: I'm delighted to discover that one aspect of ATTACK #20 has found new life in the Republican Anti-Health Care Reform movement:

DATE: August 4, 2009
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

ObamaCare Likely to Mandate Free "Sex-Change" Surgeries

I thought this charge sounded familiar, and then I realized that I had made up the whole "Mandatory Sex Change" thing when I was suggesting that he would force us all to get "Gay Married." I'm tremendously pleased to find part of my FBIT^TM from 10/28/2008 returning to the public discourse only nine months after I thought of it.

DAY #20 / ATTACK #20

Now, if the Birthers will only follow up on my charge that Obama is only 29 years old... Okay, so now he's 30. It's still too young to be POTUS!

"SHAME on him for saving those women!"

My twitter account is NOT fake. It's real.

Check for yourself HERE.

SHOCKING REPORT: Lou Dobbs' Birth Certificate a FAKE!

Wed, 22 Jul 2009 20:07:24 -0400

The Birther Movement-- or BM, as it's called for short-- has gotten quite a bit of attention lately, as many small groups and individuals proclaim that President Obama has no US birth certificate. Within the BM, there is a smaller subset of people who realize that a birth certificate actually DOES exist, but who (like me) choose to assume that it is some kind of elaborate forgery.

I remember my outrage when, during the 2008 campaign, it was brought to my attention that no one had EVER seen Obama's birth certificate. I was furious-- why had I never seen this document? I look at documents all the time, and yet, in literally decades of looking at documents, not ONCE had I ever come across a copy of Barack Obama's birth certificate. Not even ONCE.

Several months later, it was brought to my attention that the Obama campaign HAD released a copy of his official Hawaiian birth certificate. It was then that I decided that it MUST be some kind of a trick. It was the only logical explanation for the existence of a US birth certificate for someone whom I was convinced must not have been born in the United States. And I've been having a great time being angry about it ever since.

I'm a proud member of the BM. And I've been a big BM-er for quite some time. But I happen to think that the scope of the current BM is a little too narrow-- it's important that we remember that this is more than just a movement designed to "get" Obama. We need to be vigilant in exposing ALL individuals pretending to be legitimate US citizens, especially those armed with phony US birth certificates.

And that, my friends, is why I am writing to you now. Because being a part of the BM means staying true to the principles that the BM is all about-- questioning where people were really born, and whether their birth certificates are really real. And we have to stay true to those principles even when it might not feel so great.

Therefore, it is with some sadness that I report: a recent champion of the BM is, in fact, not what he appears to be. I am referring to Mexican-born Lou Dobbs, host of CNN's Lou Dobbs Tonight.

Mexican-born? Yes, you read that correctly. Mr. Dobbs is NOT, as it turns out, a legal US citizen.

Dobbs' biography has always been sketchy when it comes to place of birth-- some sources claim he was born in Childress, Texas, while others cite Rupert, Idaho. Neither "fact" turns out to be the truth.

Louis Dobbs was born in Delicias, Chihuahua-- MEXICO-- and was later smuggled into the United States by Texas Propane Salesman Frank Dobbs, who kept the truth of his son's south-of-the-border origins a secret, even from little Lou himself, who only learned about his Mexican birth in adolescence, and who would spend the rest of his adult life desperately trying to cover up the truth.

His fake Texas birth certificate contains all the right details, but a closer examination reveals a subtle, almost inexplicable hint revealing his true place of birth...

A telltale asterisk points the way...

...South of the border!

This is bound to be a galling revelation to legions of Dobbs' admirers, who have viewed him as a fierce anti-immigration crusader, speaking out against "Our Broken Borders" five nights a week, and decrying the influx of Mexican illegals into American society. His recent promotion of the BM movement on his nightly broadcast was a transparent attempt to curry favor with the BM-ers and to throw us off the scent, but it was far too late. By the time he went on the air to promote the BM agenda, we were already in possession of his fraudulent Texas birth documents.

On behalf the entire BM, we DEMAND that deportation proceedings begin immediately for Mr. Dobbs! Unfortunately, it is only a matter of time before he sneaks back across "Our Broken Borders."

The BM is dedicated to finding the hidden truth of people whose Birth Certificates we have never seen, and to disputing the validity of those we HAVE seen.

If you don't have a US Birth Certificate....
Or if you HAVE one, but we remain UNCONVINCED...

WATCH OUT!

Because the BM is spreading... ALL OVER AMERICA!