rrbill's Open Salon Blog

Life with Mauser

Sat, 21 Apr 2012 12:04:04 -0400

My roommate is a large, assertive cat. We have been thrown out of better places, but now he shares my humble flat a few blocks from the mighty Mississippi. I have earned my cat food through teaching on line courses and I am surprised to find that so many people on the internet are also cat fans. Now I have discovered that not only do cats enjoy sitting on the computer keys to block me from typing, but that they do some typing on their own. People get e-mails from me filled with some caterwauling at the end. I now realize that they have an application for everything, but now I realize that there is an app to distinguish cat typing from the human variety and it supposedly makes an obnoxious noise to get kitty off the keys. There are some personality differences...now that I am retired I am rather oblivious to time constraints and organizational behavior. But Mauser is obsessive-compulsive. We have to get up at the same time...he has to go out to the Salad Bar (the vegetable garden outside the door) then he has to come back and have a shower, wetting down his paws and whiskers before 7 am when he goes next door to visit his True Love,Binxlie. She has been waiting for him patiently; they exchange a quick kiss and then play King of the Mountain. He shows his love for his sweetheart by eating the remains of her breakfast...then they sit in the window to entertain the kids waiting for the school bus. My friend is really solicitous of my health and welfare, and I agree with the experts who tell us that stroking a cat when he purrs constantly is great for reducing stress and blood pressure. None of these experts state who put that stress there in the first place.

No More Fish on Friday

Sat, 18 Feb 2012 19:02:09 -0500

I never minded Fish on Friday...I am a New Englander and enjoy seafood. Then they got rid of Mass in Latin, which had a different pronunciation than we had in high school. Somewhere along the line Limbo was dropped and you never heard of Purgatory any more. My dad was Episcopal but couldn't cope with the strong-willed Irish Catholic beauty he married. But he always said an Episcopal cleric would have been a Catholic priest but for the fact that he liked girls and hated Latin. So I am a lifelong Catholic. And I have seen it all; turning the altar around, dropping many Holy Days of Obligation, etc. Passing out marriage annulments like they were M&Ms. So why in the name of St. Peter are the bishops (strangely like-minded fellows, could Ratzo get a few of his Hitler Youth buddies to drill it into them) making a cause celebre out of birth control, of all things? And politicians act like they care about these things....will they start selling indulgences again to make a dent in the national debt?

The Last Open Anything

Fri, 10 Feb 2012 22:02:52 -0500

I used to comment on many of the timely articles posted in Salon. As an old curmudgeon sitting at home watching TV with my cat, this is a time-honored pastime, dating back to the days of writing crank letters to the editor. Alas, after three years of contributing, Salon won't let you comment without a bunch of hoops to jump through. Same with the Washington Post and a number of other once-favorite sites, many of which want to charge you for the privilege. I thank OS for being one of the few sites that actually is open to amateur contributors, cranky as the submission may be.

Not So Bad a May Day

Tue, 3 May 2011 11:05:51 -0400

Well, the Brits married off Prince Willy, the Canucks have a real government with a majority and the Paks stood by while we bumped off their stooge Bin Laden. It probably would have been done easier with a hit man, but he's gone. Next time send the Crips and the Bloods over there instead of wasting thousands of heroes and trillions of treasure. All in all, not a bad weekend, and this morning....no snow on the ground in Minnesota! My cat can take in his outdoor salad bar. Not bad, at all.

SHEEN IN 2012

Wed, 23 Mar 2011 18:03:24 -0400

Everybody who is somebody has a secret wish to see Charlie Sheen elected President of the United States. Not a bad idea, at all. Here's the clincher, Bree Olson as First Lady....Move aside, Carla Bruni Sarkozy. There is another Goddess, but she will be relegated to the Supreme who wasn't Diana Ross or the Destiny's Child who wasn't Beyonce. Let's put some Sheen on the tarnished walls of the Executive Mansion!